Dream Box

Tale of the Gosseberry

2011-11-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

Gooseberry.. hmmm.. reminds me of soooo mmaanny incidents from my childhood. Well.. long time I remembered those incidents.. I have a biiiggggg smile on my face as I write this story of my past. ;)

Prologue :
“Niveditha this is not expected from you!! YOU!?? How could YOU do this??” Shubha 'maatrushree' was speaking to me, looking into my eyes, disappointed. I had disappointed her. Well, atleast the situation around seemed that way.
“maatrushree... I .. “ I wanted to say I didnt do it. But then changed my mind and said..”I am sorry”
She was very disappointed. She left giving me a punishment to clean the “Go-shala” for the whole next week. I couldnt help. My friends, who seemed to be my enimies to me then were trying hard to stop their laughs. I looked at them with “Look-what-have- you- go- me-into” expression in my eyes and left to my vasati - dormetory.

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I studied in a residential school. Its actually unfair to call it a 'SCHOOL'. It was a GURUKULA.
Shubham karoti- maitreyee gurukula in bangalore.Well its still a GURUKULA, in a way that we were taught sanskrit, bhagvadgeeta, vedas, and so many related things. We did yoga, pooja, bhajans, praatah-smarana. We celebrated all the festivals together. We were tought about living with value system.Our lifestyle there depicted the same. Btw it was only girls there. We used to call all the lady teachers as 'Maatrushree', who used to stay with us, and took care like mothers. So the name maatrushree. And all the men teachers as 'Acharya'. Ours was the 3rd batch since the gurukula was started and I was in 7th standard, 'Prajna gana' they called it.
OK ok.. let me not bug you more with my school stuff!! but without this background the story doesnt make sense. So, When I told you about that value system and stuff, one of the values we fallowed STRICTLY was 'Never to pluck any fruit or anything ALONE. Always SHARE AND EAT”. So we were SUPPOSED to never pluck any fruits that were there in the garden, like we had 'anjoor', pomegranate, guava, coconut, papaya, banana, chikku many more and GOOSBERRY ofcourse.
If it was a season or many fruits in the garden, were ASKED to pick them and give it to the kitchen. They would cook something out of it and give it to all.
SO now you can guess what must have happened. Right?? No??
Hmm.. So, in my batch we were only 12 of us and we all were pretty close. Some of them were really naughty. REALLY naughty. Not me!! I was those 'Teachers - favorite' type of student. My friends always picked up the fruits, hide them and ate without our matrushrees getting to know. Gossberriers were all time favorite. They would grab some salt from the kitchen after lunch. Hide it and keep in their bags. In the breaks, or early mornings when no matrushrees will be there around, they would pick big big bunches and hide it in their bags. Eat it every time they wanted. But I.. Not one of them. Not did I ever picked the gooseberry or for the matter any fruits or I stole salt. You see, I was one of those who got things done, WITHOUT doing it myself ;) :P.
I was never till caught while STEALING fruits from trees. But, this was an exception.That day, we had just finished our class. We thought, there were no other classes going on.(Well.. thats what we thought)
My friend vishala, had climbed the gooseberry – to be specific 'rajanelli' tree. It was very bigg and strong. Usually rajanelli trees are not that bigg on which you can climb. But, this one was. I usually would never be in the places of CRIME ( ;) ). but, that day was an exception. I, along with all of my classmates was standing outside and instructing vishala where to look for the bunch of rajanellikaayi.And, then there was this bigg sound. Dhaaabbbb, churu churu... chiri.. dubu dubudubu..
Vishala had fallen!!! he he he.. she had fallen off the tree. We had the goosberry bunches full in our hands. And to our bad luck, there was shubha maatrushree(one of the very STRICT matrushrees) teaching in the nearby kuteera(class room in between these fruit garden made up of tile roofs which resembled the old age kuteeras).
She, along with our juniors came out to see what was the sound. And there vishala was, fallen from the tree, my friends had thrown away the goosberries they had picked. I hadnt. And then, I was caught. And given a punishment to clean the cow shed for the whole week. He he he... can never forget that incident.

Epilogue:
After Shobha maatrushree left giving me that punishment, all my friends went to her and told her what actually happened and they also have equal participation in that SINFULL act of stealing goosberries from the tree. So we all shared the same punishment. :) We together clean the cow shed for a week which was worth the punishment he he he :)
Every time I see goosberry I remember this and vishala. Hmmm... long time, didnt meet any of my classmates from school. All busy in their own lives. How strange the world could be more??? No time to meet up people you spend almost your entire childhood with. And there I leave a deep breath. :)
Miss them all. Miss my partners in CRIME and GOOD DEEDS. :)
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P.S : This is written specially for the competition Here

2011-10-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

ನೋಡುತ ನಿಲ್ಲಬೇಕೆನಿಸುವ ಆಕಾಶ,

ಅತ್ತಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಎತ್ತಲೋ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕೆನಿಸುವ ದಾರಿ

ಬ್ರಹ್ಮಾಂಡ ದೂರದ ತಾರೆ,

ಕೈಯೆತ್ತಿ ಸವರಬೇಕೆನಿಸುವ ಮನಸ್ಸು

ಆಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಅಂತರ??

ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ

ಕೇಳಬಯಸುವ ಆ ಕವಿಯ ಕವಿತೆ,

ಶಬ್ದಗಳು ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟವೆನಿಸಿದರೂ

ಅಶ್ಪಷ್ಟ ಸಾಲುಗಳು.

ದಿನ ನಿತ್ಯ ಗುನುಗುನಿಸಿದರೂ

ಆಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಅಪರಿಚಿತ??

ಹರಿವ ನದಿಯದೊಂದು ದಾರಿ

ಪಯಣಿಗ ನಿನಗೆ, ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಬೇಕೆ??

ತೃಷೆಯಾದಷ್ಟು ನೀರು ಬೊಗಸೆ

ತುಂಬಾ ತುಂಬಿಸುವ ಬಯಕೆಯಷ್ಟೇ!!!

ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ಹೊರಟರೂ

ಆಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಅಗಾಧ??

94.3....Radio Oneeee

2011-07-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Travelling has become part of my life, I mean most of all of our lives..isnt it? Every morning I wake up, get ready and zoooommm.... I travel !! Travelling by Vovlo is very comfortable (If I get a place to sit) compared to any other bus. The 1st time I traveled by volvo, I was impressed by the Radio they play. Since then, I have become a radio fan!!! Particularly 94.3 RadioOneeeeeeeeeee.. he he he.. as I am writing it, I hear them sing, 94.3 RadioOneeeeeeee... :)

Now, Listening to Prithvi is a treat. His sense of humor is really great. It makes me laugh in the bus.. the way sometimes he comes up with kannada meaning to hindi/english words.. he he he.. cant stop laughing. And sometimes when he flirts with girls... ooooo...

And about Anjaan.. he is a sweetheart. He becomes so cute when he tries to speak in Hindi, he he he. He sometimes imposes a humor in such a simple thing, its really admirable.

The ear plugs are right in my ears till Prithvi and Anjaan are on air. Sometimes I change the station if I get irritated by the adds. Ahhhh!!! btw those adds have also become our topic of talk. We friends who listen to radio regularly keep commenting on the adds, or we mock them up, they invariably become part of our humor. There are times when others who wont listen to radio, can not understand our jokes. He he he!!!
I so many times get disappointed when someone comes for a code review, or with a doubt, or my manager calls up a meeting.. say anything that separates me from listening to Radio.
Listening to them has become like a religion to me.

Well, you wont believe, I have sent SMSs giving answers to the questions they ask. I desperately want them to pick me up, but that never has happened till date. I feel so sad :(
I have a secret wish, I want to go on Radio once!!
When Prithvi calls up someone for 'Birthday Bakra' , or to fool someone, I secretly wish that my friends should give him my reference.Or, he should pick me up as a winner of that 'play your music day'. Or, I should be put up on air to ask what happened in my life in last 24 hours(not that something bigggg can happen, but just!!!)

Hmmm... Dreams, Dreams... so many times I send the reply to the contests, not once they pick me up or even mention my name :(

Anyways, Its been like almost 3 years I am in Bangalore, and listening to Radio, but never ever felt like seeing them!!! True!! I never wanted to know how Prithvi or anjaan looked like. Never wanted to give a face to my imagination. I loved them for their voice, talks, humor, sensitivity, timeliness.
I was never curious about their looks.

Today my colleague asked me to check out Prithvis photo. I had almost forgotten about it. But then, I remembered it when i put on the earplugs.I had typed "Mj prithvi". I waited for few seconds.. I somehow didnt want to know how he looked. I didnt know if his looks would affect anything.. I didnt want to take a chance. I closed google and started working.

I don't want to know how he looks. I don't even want to meet him. I just want to hear him. I just want to talk to him.Well. Strange Me.. Isnt it???
94.3 radiooneeee..... anjaan on air... byeeeee....

ಅಪೂರ್ಣ..

2011-06-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

ಬಹಳಷ್ಟು ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ಅದೇನು ಬರಿಯಬೇಕೋ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಅದೇನೇ ಬರೆದರೂ ಅಪೂರ್ಣ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಾ ಇದೆ. ಹಾಗೇ ಅಪೂರ್ಣಗೊಂಡ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಕವಿತೆಗಳನ್ನ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೀತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ.. ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಬೇಕು!!!

೧)
ಕೆರೆಯ ಕೆಂದಾವರೆ ಬೇಕು,
ಬೆಳ್ಳಗಿನ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಬೇಕು ಬಾನಾಚೆಗೆ ಹಾರಲು,
ಹಾಲ್ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹರಡಿರುವ ಚುಕ್ಕಿಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಬೇಕು
ನವಿಲಾಗಬೇಕು ಮಳೆಗೆ ನಲಿದಾಡಲು
ಬಿದಿಗೆಯ ಚಂದ್ರ ಬೇಕು
ಮುತ್ತಂಥ ಮಂಜಾಗಬೇಕು ಎಳೆ ಬಿಸಿಲಿಗೆ ಕರಗಲು...

೨)
ಕವಿತೆಯ ಮೊದಲು, ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಬರುವ ಮುಗ್ಧ ಮುಗುಳುನಗೆ ನೀನು.
ಮರುಳು ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಸ್ವಾಗತ.

೩)

ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ನೀನೇನು ಕೊಡುವೆ?
ಒಂದು ಮುತ್ತು?
ಗುನುಗುನಿಸಲೊಂದು ಹಾಡು?
ಎರಡು ಸಾಲಿನ ಕವಿತೆ?
ಬೊಗಸೆಯಷ್ಟು ನೆನಪು?
ಅರೆಘಳಿಗೆ ನೆಮ್ಮದಿ?
ಗಾಳಿ ಸುಯ್ ಗುಟ್ಟರೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಸಪ್ಪಳ
ಎಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಪಯಣ?
ನಿಂತಲ್ಲಿ ನೆರಳು,
ತಳಮಳ,
ಬಣಗುಡುವ ಮೌನ,
ಕಣ್ಣೀರು,
ಒದ್ದೆ ಗುರುತಿನ ಕೆನ್ನ,
ಬರಿದಾದ ಹಾಳೆ..
ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೇನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರಟೆ???

The Wanderer in Me..

2011-04-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Dairy, Its at times like this I feel.. "What happened??"," It is wrong to change yourself for the ones you love?, Is it that difficult to change your habits, your likes and dislikes for someone you know that he/she loves you a LOT??","Itsn't it OK to compromise a bit here and there with almost everything for what you call 'LOVE'??
And almost simultaneously, I hear another thought in my head, and I remember a message I had got a long years ago,
"He who accepts you the way you are, is your true love"
"TRUE LOVE?? Hell.. does that even exist??" reminds my other mind.
You know, when I had started listening to the westen music, Glen was one of my favourites.I still love when he sings, "Nothing's gonna change my love for you.."
I remember a line from that song..
"You don't have to change a thing..
I love you just the way you are.."
And both these parties in my head arguing, one which says,
"you cannot have LOVE without compromises"
And the other which constantly repeats...
"True love doesnt expect you to change"
And now.. its my turn to decide, which side to choose..
I anyways believe, "TRUE LOVE DOESN'T EXIST", So i decide to live with the compromises. However, some questions in my head stand like a dangling pointer with no answers attached to it..
Why did I become so dependent?? Why do I need someone's message to wake me up in the morning and say "Good morning, honey..",
Why did that one SOMEONE's opinion counts so much that i dont even consider my own opinion and I compromise? ofcourse sometimes willingly and some other times unwillingly..anyways.. the result ends up for a compromise.. why??
You know, when we friends catch up,and they ask..
"What is that you miss the most about your spinster times??",
The answer instantly pops up my head,
"FREEDOM, Freedom of wearing anything, anytime, anywhere... Freedom to watch my type of movies, Freedom to eat what I love to eat.. Its FREEDOM I miss the most.." However I dont say this infront of them.
I simply give my best of smiles and say..
"Nothing"!!!!ow, what a beautiful way to defend your spouse!!!
I try to convince myself, I succeed too. I convinced myself for a relationship. I convinced myself for a marriage. I have convinced myself that I can make a good wife, but what about the WANDERER in me?? Tears swell up my eyes as I can hear my INSIDE gives me the answer to the question..
I almost have no option left, isn't it??
Why is it that I am never statisfed??
why is it that I can never stop at a thing??
For now, I have to hide the WANDERER in me and hope to never let it out.
Anyways.. thats it for now..
Good night dairy.

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Disclaimer : This is my imaginary work piece.

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ - 4

2011-04-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

I am so much in love with Bangalore.
ಸಂಜೆಗೊಂದು ಟಪ ಟಪ ಉದುರೋ ಮಳೆ, ಮಳೆಗಿರುವ ಗಂಧ, ಅದರ ಜೊತೆಗೇ ತೆಲಿ ಬರುವ ನೆನಪುಗಳು..
ನೆನಪಿದೆಯ ನಿನಗೆ, ನಾವಿಬ್ರು ಆವತ್ತು ಆಂಜನೆಯ ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನದ ಹಿಂದಿನ ರಸ್ತೆಯಿಂದ ಅಲ್ಲಿರೋ ಗುಡ್ಡಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದಿದ್ದು?? ಮೆಳೆಗೂ ಮೊದಲು ಗಾಳಿ ಇರತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ, ಆ ಥರದ ವಾತಾವರಣ.ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್ಮ್... ಇವತ್ತಿನ ಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಅದೇ ಪರಿಮಳ..
ನಿನ್ನ ಬೈಕ್ ಮೇಲೆ , ನಿನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗೋ ಸುಖ. ಘಳಿಗೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಭುಜಕ್ಕೆ ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಮುತ್ತು. ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ rear mirrorನಿಂದ ನನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ, ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದು ನಾಚಿಕೆ.
ಆ ಬೆಟ್ಟವಾದ್ರೂ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದ ಇತ್ತು ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ಆಗ ತಾನೆ ಮುಳುಗಿದ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ನೆರಳನ್ನ ಹಿಡಿಯೋ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನದಲ್ಲಿ ಆಕಾಶ, ಕೆಂಪು ಅಲ್ಲಾ, ಗುಲಾಬಿಯೂ ಅಲ್ಲದ ಬಣ್ನಕ್ಕೆ ತಿರುಗಿತ್ತು. ನಿನ್ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಕೈಯ ಬೆಸೆದು, ಬೆರಳುಗಳ ಸರಪಳಿ ಮಾಡಿ ನಡೆಯುವುದೇ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ ನಂಗೆ. ಅಂತೂ ಬೆಟ್ಟದ ತುದಿ ಹೋಗಿ ತಲುಪಿದಾಗ ಸಣ್ಣ ಸಣ್ಣ ಮಳೆಯ ಹನಿ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ಕೆನ್ನೆ ಮೆಲೆ ಉದಿರಿದ್ದು..
ಅಹ್ ನಿನ್ ಜೊತೆ ಕಳೆದ ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದು ಸಂಜೆಗೂ ಒಂದೊಂದು ಕಥೆ ಇದೆ..
ಈಗ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡ್ತೀನಿ, ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನಡುವೆ ನಡೆದಿದ್ದೆಲ್ಲ ಕನಸಾ?? ನನ್ನ ಕಲ್ಪನೆಯಾ??
ಅದೇನೇ ಆದರೂ ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು ತುಂಬಾ ಸುಂದರ ನೆನಪುಗಳನ್ನ. ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚಿದರೆ ತನ್ ತಾನೇ ಅರಳೋ ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆಯನ್ನ..
ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರನ್ನೂ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡೋ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಮನಸನ್ನ.
ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಈ ಮಳೆ ಥರ.. ನೆನಪು ಬಂದಾಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಒದ್ದೆ, ಒದ್ದೆ.

P.S : Part-1

Part -2
Part -3

ತೇಲಿ ಸಾಗುವ ಮುಗಿಲು...

2011-02-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

ಹಳೆಯ dairy ಒಂದು ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಮನೆ cleanಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿತು. ಹಿಂದಿನದೆಲ್ಲ ಒಂದೊಂದಾಗಿ ಒಂದೋ ಮನಸ್ಸಾಯಿತು.
ತುಂಬಾ ವರ್ಷವೇನಾಗಿಲ್ಲ ಅದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಬರೆದು. ಒಂದು 5-6 ವರ್ಷವಾಗಿರಬಹುದು. ಆದ್ರೂ ಯಾವುದೋ ಜನ್ಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆದಂತೆ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿತ್ತು.ಎಷ್ಟು ಬದಲಾಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೀನಿ ನಾನು. ಆ dairyಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆದ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದು ನಾನೇನಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸುವಷ್ಟು ದ್ವಂದ್ವ..

April 28 2010:
Hey Dairy,
ಇವತ್ತು ನಾನೊಬ್ಬನನ್ನ ಭೇಟಿಯಾದೆ.Well.. ಅವನಲ್ಲಿ ಅಷ್ಟೇನೂ speciality ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಆದ್ರೆ ಅವನ ಹೆಸರು ಮಾತ್ರ ತುಂಬಾ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ. ತುಂಬಾ ನಾಚಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಭಾವದವನು. ತುಂಬಾ ಕಡಿಮೆ ಮಾತಾಡ್ತಾನೆ. ನಾನು ಹೊಸೊಬ್ಬಳು ಅಂತಾ ಆಗಿರಬಹುದು...

ನಂತರದ ದಿನಗಳು ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ ಮುಂದೆ ಹಾಸಿಹೋದವು.. you know flashbackಥರಾ..
ಅವನು ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು, ನಾನು reject ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು.. ಮತ್ತೆ ಅವನು ನನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಗೆ propose
ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು.. ನನ್ನ ಗೊಂದಲ.. ಅದೇ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರನ್ನು client siteಗೆ ಕಳಿಸಿದ್ದು..
ಉಫ್!!! ಅವನ ಶರೀರದ ಕಂಪು ನನಗಿನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದ್ದಿದ್ದಿ ನನಗೇ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ.. ಇಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ನಂತರವೂ ನನಗೆ ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿಯ ನೆನಪು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ..

ಸಂಜೆ client officeನಿಂದ ನಾವಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಬೀಚ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ.ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಅಲೆಗಳು, ರಾತ್ರಿರಾಣಿಯ ಪರಿಮಳ ಗಾಳಿಯ ಉಪ್ಪನ್ನೂ ಮೀರಿಸುವಂತಿತ್ತು.. ಯಾವಾಗ ನಾವಿಬ್ಬರು ಬೆರಳೊಡನೆ ಬೆರಳ ಬೆರೆಸಿದೆವೋ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನೆರಳು ಸಂಜೆಯ ಕೆಂಪು ಹರಡಿದ ಮರಳಿಗೆ ಚಿತ್ರ ಬಿಡಿಸಿದಂತೆ ಹರಡಿತ್ತು.ಮೊದಲು ಅಂಗೈಯಷ್ಟೆ ಬೆಸೆದಿತ್ತು, ನೋಡ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೇ ಅವನ ಕೈಯ್ಯ ತುಂಬಾ ನನ್ನ ಕೈ.. ಮರದ ಕೊಂಬೆಗೆ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಹರಡಿದಂತೆ.. ಅವನೆದೆಗೊರಗಿಕೊಂಡೆ. ಅವನೇ ದೂರ ಸರಿದಿದ್ದ. ನಾನು realityಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೆ. ಒಂದು ಥರದ embarassment ನನ್ನ ಕಾಡಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆಶುರು ಮಾಡಿತ್ತು.
ವಾಪಸ್ hotelಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ವಿ. ನನ್ನ roomನ lock open ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅವನಿಗೆ callಮಾಡಿ ಕರೆದಿದ್ದೆ. ಅವನು ಬಂದು ನನ್ನ room lock ತೆಗೆದಾಗ ನನ್ನ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೋ ಗೊಂದಲ. I invited him inside. ಕಿಟಕಿ ತೆರೆದಿತ್ತು.. ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ.. ಯಾಕೋ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನಡುವಿನ ಮೌನ ಮುರಿಯುವಂತೆ ಕಾಣಲಿಲ್ಲ.. TV on ಮಾಡಿದೆ. ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಕೂದಲೆಳೆಗಳು ಹಾರಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು.. ಅದೇನಾಯಿತೋ ಏನೋ.. ನಾನು ಅವನೆದೆಗೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಒರಗಿಕೊಂಡೆ. ಅವನು ದೂರ ಸರಿಯಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನನ್ನ ಹಣೆಗೆ ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಟ್ಟ.. ಕಣ್ಣೆತ್ತಿ ಅವನ ನೋಡಿದೆ.. ಅವನು ಕಣ್ಣ ಸರಿಸಿಕೊಡ. ನಾನು ಅವನೆದೆಗೆ ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ... ನನ್ನೆದೆಯ ಗೊಂದಲಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಆ ಕ್ಷಣಕ್ಕೆ ಮಾಯ. ಬೆಳಗಿನವರೆಗೂ ಅವನೆದೆಗೆ ಒರಗಿ ಮಲಗಿದ್ದೆ. ನಾನೇಳುವಾಗ ಅವನು ನನ್ನ ಕೂದಲುಗಳನ್ನ ನೇವರಿಸುತ್ತಾ..
"Good morning" ಅಂದಿದ್ದ.
ನಾನು ನಕ್ಕು. "very good morning" ಅಂದಿದ್ದೆ..

ಹ್ಮ್.. 5 ವರ್ಷಗಳಾಯ್ತು.. ನಮಗೀಗ ಒಂದು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಮಗು..
Well.. ಜೀವನದ ಪ್ರತಿ ದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೋ ನಾವಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ.. ಈ dairyಗೆ Thanks.. Dairy ಸಿಕ್ಕಂತೆ, ಮತ್ತೆ ನನಗೆ ನಾವಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದರೆ.. ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. ಈ gap ಕಡಿಮೆ ಆಗುತ್ತೋ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ.. ಆದ್ರೆ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡುವ ಮನಸ್ಸಿದೆ..

"ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಡುಕಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ..
ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆವೆ,
ಕೈಯಲಿ ಕೈಯ ಹಿಡಿದಿಕೋಂಡಿದ್ದೇವೆ,
ಕಣ್ಣೋಟಗಳು ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆ ದಿಕ್ಕು.
ನಡುವೆಲ್ಲೋ ಕವಿದಿದೆ ಮುಸುಕು..
ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಡುಕಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ??
ಜೊತೆಯಲೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೇವೆ.."

ನನ್ನ ನಾನು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ...

2011-01-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

ಬಿದಿಗೆಯ ಸಂಜೆ

ಕೆಂಪು ಬಾನಾಚೆಯ ಚಂದ್ರ

ದ್ರಿಷ್ಟಿಗಿಟ್ಟಂತೆ ಹೊಳೆವ ಚುಕ್ಕಿ.

ಗಾಳಿಗೆದರಿದ ಸಂಜೆ ಧೂಳು

ನೆನಪ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಹಜ್ಜೆಗೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಯ ಜೊತೆ

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರೂ ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ಹೊಗೆ

ಬೀಸು ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ಚೆಲ್ಲುವ ಕನಸು ನೂರು

ಕಳೆದು-ಹೋಗಲೇ ಹೊರಟ ಪಯಣ

ಕಳೆದು ಹೋದರೆ ಹುಡುಕ ಬೇಡಿ..

ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಗುರುತಿಸಬೇಡಿ

ನನ್ನ ನಾನು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ..

Well..
ಅದಾವಾಗಲೋ ಬರೆದ ಸಾಲುಗಳು.. ನನಗೋ ನೆನಪಿಲ್ಲ.. ಆದರೆ ಇವತ್ತು ಈ ಕವಿತೆಯ ಭಾವನೆ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮೂಡಿದೆ. ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿದೆ. ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಸದೇನು wish ಮಾಡಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಹಿಂದನ ವರ್ಷದ್ದೆ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬಾಕಿಯಿದೆ..
ಈಗಾಗಲೇ ತುಂಬಾ ಮಾಡೋದಿದೆ.. ಕನಸು ಕಾಣೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಮಯ ಎಲ್ಲಿ??
Anyways.. Happy new year.. All the best.

ಜೊತೆ..

2010-12-18T21:30:00.000-08:00

ಅವನು ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡಾಗ್ಲೇ ನಂಗೆ doubt ಬಂದಿದ್ದು, ಅವನು ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡತಾನೆ ಅಂತಾ. ಅಲ್ಲೀ ತನಕ ನನ್ನ instincts ನನಗೆ ಏನೂ ಹೇಳಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. Usually ಯಾರಾದ್ರೂ ಯಾರನ್ನಾದ್ರೂ propose ಮಾಡೋ levelಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟಪಡತಾರೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಒಂದಷ್ಟು hints ಕೊಡತಾರೆ, ಇಲ್ಲ ಅವರ body languageನಿಂದ ಗೊತಾಗುತ್ತೆ. ಇವನು ಮಾತ್ರ ನನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಈ ಥರ ಯೋಚಿಸ್ತಾನೆ ಅಂತಾ ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾನು ಸಿದ್ ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳ್ದೆ, ಈ ಥರ ನನ್ನನ್ನ ನನ್ನ officeನವನೊಬ್ಬ propose ಮಾಡಿದ ಅಂತಾ.. he laughed and said..

"wow!! ಜಗತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡೋಂಥ ಮೂರ್ಖ ಜನನೂ ಇರತಾರೆ" ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದು, ಜೋರಾಗಿ ನಗಾಡಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದ.

I said

"Sidd,Please.. I am serious.. I said I am not ready for a relationship now.. I am sorry ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.. ಯಾಕೋ ನನಗೆ ವಿಚಿತ್ರವಾದ ಭಾವನೆ ಬರ್ತಾ ಇದೆ. as if something didnt go right, ಅನ್ನೋ ಭಾವನೆ.." ಅಂತಾ..

You know what Sidd asked me??He said,

"ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ illusionನಿಂದ ಯಾವಾಗ ಹೊರಗೆ ಬರ್ತೀಯಾ??You cannot wait your entire life for someone to come out from your dream. Please come out.."

This is the second time its happening with me.ಇದು ಎರಡನೇ ಸಲ ನಾನು ಯಾರನ್ನಾದ್ರೂ reject ಮಾಡತಾ ಇರೋದು.. I dont know what has happened to me.. I never feel I am ready for a relationship..

I dont know.. I always feel insecured with anyone and everyone..

ರಾತ್ರಿ ಯಾಕೋ ನಿದ್ದೆನೇ ಬರಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ತಲೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಏನೇನೋ ಯೋಚನೆಗಳು.. "Why-am-I-like-this" ಅನ್ನೋ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳು.. ನನ್ನದೇ ತಪ್ಪಾ?? Like that I am a very joly person.. you know, 'fun-to-be-with' types..

ಆದ್ರೆ.. why like this??

ರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಹುಡುಕುವ Patience,Time ಎಲ್ಲಿದೆ?? ಮಾರನೇ ದಿನ officeನಲ್ಲಿ ಅವನ ಜೊತೆಗೇ breakfast ಹೋಗುವಾಗ ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದು ಥರದ guilt, as if ನಾನು ಅವನನ್ನ insult ಮಾಡಿದೀನೇನೋ ಅನ್ನೋ ಭಾವನೆ.. ಹಾಗೆ ನೋಡಿದ್ರೆ he is a nice guy.. anyone would accept him.. "why not me??" ಅನ್ನೋ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ದಿನವಿಡೀ ನನ್ನ ಕಾಡಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿತು. But then I have divisions in my head you know.. can easily switch between them when I want to.. ಆಗಾಗ ಅವನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ಮತ್ತದೇ guilt..

ಹೀಗೇ ಒಂದೆರಡು ದಿನ, I thought and decided to take a chance..

ಅವನು ನಂಬಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. When I said, that I was thinking about it and decided to take a chance.. he didnt believe.. and you know.. he reacted as if he has won a million dollar or something..

ಆಗ, ನನಗ್ಯಾಕೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. ನನಗೂ ಅವನ ನೋಡಿ ತುಂಬಾ ಖುಷಿಯಾಯ್ತು.. as if something was not right and I had just fixed it..

ಆದ್ರೂ ಅದೇನೋ ವಿಚಿತ್ರವಾದ ಭಾವನೆ.. ಅವನ ಜೊತೆ ಸಂಜೆ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು walk ಹೋಗುವಾಗಲೂ, I sometimes feel ನಾನು ಬೇರೆಲ್ಲೋ ಇರಬೇಕಾಗಿತ್ತು ಅನ್ನೋ ಭಾವನೆ.. As if I dont belong here.. ಅವನ ಮಾತುಗಳಿಗೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೋ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಬಿಚ್ಚಿ ನಗೋದಿಕ್ಕಾಗೋದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. As if I am acting in a movie and he is my co-actor.. ಅವನು ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣಿಟ್ಟು "I Love you" ಅಂದಾಗಲೂ all I can do is give a smile.. and force myself to say "I love you too".

I dont know if I have some kind of phobia or something... but I am afraid.. I will never find someone to love..

Still the question stands un-answered... "Why am I like this??"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer : This is an imaginary part of work. :)

-Nivi.

From: Me To: U Subject : Hi Again

2010-12-11T06:52:00.000-08:00

From: Siddharth
To : Niveditha
Subject : WOW!! Congrats..

Hey Niv..
Congratulations!!! So finally you did it huh?? how was your FIRST FLITE??
were you caught by the security there for taking something that should not be taken?? actually you should have lost a lot of money.. not actually money.. but your cosmetics and deos and moisturisers and body lotions... he he he.. kidding.. so tell me about it.. everything..

Regards,
Sidd..

From : Niveditha
To: Siddharth
Subject: Re: WOW!! Congrats...

Hey Sidd..
1st things 1st.. when will you stop pulling my legs? huh?? I didnt have that much of cosmetics!! wel.. not as much as that 'wack-wack girl' Priya has.. anyways.. my FIRST ever flight experience.. hmmm.. wow... Sidd cant help it.. it was very good!!
Wel.. god bless our clients who had their production issue.. he he he.. so it got decided the last day at 9 in the night that me and my collegue have to go to Client site the next day. immediately we raised a travel request and all that formalities.. Seriously sidd!! I was too excited!! I dint know what to pack, what documents are required.. OMG!! I was excited, scared anxious.. afraid..
but then it was my first flight!! so uff!! I was excited to death!!!
wel.. the rest of the story later.. gotta work honey!!(Sarcastic!!!)

Regards,
Niv

From : Siddharth
To: Niveditha
Subject: I want the WHOLE STORY!!!

My Dear Friend Niv..
Stop wanting so much of attention and importance girl.. I know you just want me to ask you for more.. miss little 'I-am-Busy-gotta-work' girl... tell me now.. or else i will curse you that you will never get a husband!!! ;) :P

Regards,
Sidd

From: Niveditha
To: Siddharth
Subject: You are REALLY BAD!!

UGH!!!! what a black-mail!!! Ok Ok.. i will tell you the story.. so I was tottally excited. BTW.. I am sorry. I couldnt call you.. you understand right?? I came back to my room by 10:30 and then inform my parents, my grand-parents, all my uncles and aunties.. huh!! by the time I finished the calls it was 11.30 and then pack... anyways.. I know I dont have to apologize to you as you owe me so many apologises!! he he he..
ok.. So next day my cab came sharp at 6:30 in the morning. I was all set. me and my collegue were supposed to meet in airport. So I was alone in the cab.. you know Bangalore is so beautiful early in the mornings.. Its.. cant say in words.. its beeeaaauuuttiifulll.. its chill, the mist n the smell of that fresh air.. Sidd!! you know after a very long i felt so peace.. a state of mind where you know.. the chill breeze brushes your face, and you hair strands fly.. and you make no efforts to put them back.. you are left with no option than to close your eyes and smile... you know that kind of a state.. you getting me right??

regards,
Niv

From: Siddarth
To: Niveditha
Subject: Re:You are REALLY BAD.

Niv..
We have come such a long way right?? From irresponsible college students to intellectual, so matured people.. We still have fun.. hang out.. but some where down the line.. that maturity has come.. Responsibility has taken over our insecurities.. right?? When you said that 'close-your-eyes-and-smile' state of mind.. I could feel myself doing that Niv.. Anyways.. tell me further..

Regards,
Sidd..

From: Niveditha
To: Siddharth
Subject: The whole story

Hey Sidd..
yes we have come a long way.. and there is still a lot of journey pending.. untill and unless we enjoy the journey.. we cant enjoy the joy of reaching the destination..right?? So where was I?? Yes.. so I was in the cab.. enjoying the cool breeze.. hmmm.. you know the road to BIA is so beautiful.. Near that fly-over.. there is such a nice garden n all.. I liked it.
And when I reached the airport, I saw my collegue.. I tell you till then I had forgotten about my flight. He he.. I was enjoying the breeze.. and then me and my collegue went inside.. I dint know what to do. So he was leading me. We took boarding passes (Jet airways) and then got the security check done. and then we were waiting to board. I saw the shopperstop and al those shops. we were chatting. He was really a good company. He was explaining me about different kinds of Airplanes and the business behind it and all that stuff..
and then when it was time to board.. I couldnt beleive I was actually going to fly..
you know.. when I was a kid or till then before I got into the flight.. I always thought how would it be to fly.. you know to see the earth from top.. go in between clouds.. feel like you are God!! you are an angel.. right??
When the plane actually started to fly.. I was litterally on cloud 9.. excited like a child. Me and my collegue were enjoying.. He showed me what is what from top.. like the builings.. I felt like I was watching bangalore in google-maps.. but its wonderful feeling.
The rows and rows of clouds.. The actual blue and white.. wow!! Sidd.. I have no words to explain..
God really bless my clients.. he he he..

Regards,
Niv

From : Siddarth
To:Niveditha
Subject : Re: The whole story

Niv..
I understand.. My 1st flight was the international one.. I was excited too and you know that we have talked about being in sky so many times.. I understand.
So congratualtions for your first flight.. so when is the party??

Regards,
sidd

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re:Re: The whole Story

Sidd.. Thanks.. but.. I dono.. Y is life so strange?? I agree.. that it gives us what we want.. but not when we want right?? It really has a strage sense of humor..
you know.. I really am happy with my office and work.. and sometimes I feel thats the reason for my being.. but in my personal life.. I feel I suck!! I m not liking anything.. I dont feel good about anything. I like it at office .. not in room.. I want it to be working day the whole week.. i hate weekends..
I dont want to have a personal life.. you know I am bugged about my life.. the other day when I was coming from office,.. i saw a man sitting infront of me wearing a t-shirt. It said "Everything will be Ok"
you know what I thought?? I laughed.. and thought.."Hatts off to you life.. You really have a great sense of humor.. or should I say a great sense of sarcasm.."

Sidd.. something is missing sidd!! and the worst part is I am not able to find what it is..

Regards,
Niv

From: Siddarth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Re: re: re: The Whole Story

Niv.. Lets meet this weekend.!! Its been a lot of times You rejected.. now its an Order. I will come to you room if you dont agree to meet. So keep yourself free this weekend.. I dont want your 'I-Have-to-work-this-weekend' crap.. understand?? We SERIOUSLY need to talk about YOU!!!
Now.. get back to work..
Bye..

Regards,
Sidd.

ಮಳೆ.. ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ?

2010-11-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಮತ್ತೆ ಒದ್ದೆ, ಒದ್ದೆ.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದ ಈ ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು.I like the way it is so wet, gray and cloudy these days.ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಒಂದು walk ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ. ಹತ್ತಿರದಲ್ಲೇ ಒಂದು tea-house ಇದೆ. I am reading Nicholas Sparks these days.. "The Notebook" is my favourite.ಇಂಥ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಆ tea-house ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತು ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನನಗಿಷ್ಟವಾದ ಸಾಲುಗಳನ್ನ ಓದತೀನಿ. ಚಿಟ-ಪಿಟ ಅಂತಾ ಮಳೆಯ ಸದ್ದು, ಯಾವಾಗ ಒಂದು ಲಯವಾಗಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೋ.. ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲ್ಲ.. ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತರೂ, ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಉದುರೋ ಹನಿ ಹನಿ.. ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ.. ಕಪ್ಪೂ ಅಲ್ಲಾ, ನೀಲಿಯೂ ಅಲ್ಲದ.. gray ಆಕಾಶ.. I dont know why.. I always get mesmerised by it. I like this.. this wet and gray combination.. Its beautiful..
After a point of time.. ನನ್ನ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವೂದೇ ಯೋಚನೇಗಳೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. I am blank and empty.. ಒಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು.. ಮಳೆಗೆ ಈ ಥರದ magic ಯಾರು ಕಲಿಸಿಕೊಟ್ಟರೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. It takes over all the sounds.. ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿರೋ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ, ಹೊರಗೆ roadನಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇರೋ ಗಾಡಿಗಳ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ.. Rain takes over it. ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೇನೋ magic ಇದೆ.. It gives you life.. a faith to hang on to.. A dream to beleive.. A magic which promises miracles.. A LIFE to move on no mater what happens.. its till continues to pour its melody on you..
I sometimes ask myself.. specially times when I am you know my life is standing still.. there is nothing HAPPENING about it.. None of my dreams come true.. Times when I have difficulty in beleiving myself.. Times when I need, badly need something to beleive that things will change.. Its this Rain which gives me strength.. ಮಳೆ.. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೂ.. ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದು ಭರವಸೆ ಇದೆ ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ಮಳೆ..

"ಹರಿವ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು..
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??
ಬರೆವ ಪ್ರತೀ ಗೆರೆಯೂ
ಅದಾರದೋ ಆಕಾರ
ನನ್ನದೇ ಬೆರಳು
ಗೀಚಿಟ್ಟ ಸಾಲುಗಳು..
ನನ್ನದೇ ದನಿ
ನನಗೇ ಗುರುತಿಲ್ಲಿ..
ಕಡೆಗೂ ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಕಾಯ್ತು...
ಮೌನಕ್ಕೆ ಬೆಲೆಯೆಷ್ಟು??
ನನಗೋಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು..
ನಾನು ಮುಗಿದರೂ
ಈ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೋತ್ತರ ಮುಗಿಯದು..
ಈ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರಾದರೂ....
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??"

ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ...

2010-09-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

"Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday dear Niviiiii....
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu...."

ನನ್ನ birthday celebration... ನನ್ನ room-mates ಚಂದದ cake ತಂದಿದಾರೆ... ನನಗೋಸ್ಕರ roomನೆಲ್ಲ decorate ಮಾಡಿದಾರೆ....
"Hey.. Nivi... Make a wish.."

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"ಓಯ್!!! ಏನ್ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೋ?? ನಾಳೆ ನಂಗೆ office ಇದೆ.. ಈ ರಾತ್ರಿಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ??"
"Nivvi.. ಎಷ್ಟು questions ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ... ಸುಮ್ನೆ ಬಾ..ನಂಗೆ bike ride ಮಾಡೊಕೆ ತೊಂದ್ರೆ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ.. "
"he he he... ಒಳ್ಳೆ joke!!!Please ಕಣೋ.. ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದೀವಿ ಅಂತಾನಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ಈ ಥರಾ ಹನ್ನೂಂದುವರೆ -ಯಷ್ಟೋತ್ತಿಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿಯಾ??"
"ನಿಂಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇದೆ ಅಲ್ವಾ??"
"ಅರೆ, ನಂಬಿಕೆ.. ಹ್ಮ..."
"ಸರಿ ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಈಗ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ನನ್ನ ಘಟ್ಟಿ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತ್ಗೋ.. ok??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... ಸರಿ.. ಈ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಈಥರ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ... wel.. its really a 'WOW' feeling ಕಣೋ.."
ಕನ್ನಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ expression ಕಾಣಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಬೆನ್ನಿಗೇ ಅಂಟಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿ, ಕಣ್ಣ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡೆ.. ತಣ್ಣನೆ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ಮನಸ್ಸು ತಂಪಾದ ಅನುಭವ...

ನಿನ್ನೆದೆಗೆ ನನ್ನಾನಿಸಿಕೋ ಗೆಳೆಯ,
ಬರಡಾದ ಭೂಮಿ ಚಿಗುರಿಕೊಂಡೀತು.
ಮುತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ಕರೆದುಬಿಡು ಹೆಸರ,
ತಂಪು ತಂಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಬಿಸಿಯೇರೀತು.

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"Oye!!! where you lost Madam?? Make a wish.. make a wish... Blow the candles.."
"yes.. come on.."

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"Nivvi.. ಈಗ ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.. I will have to blindfold you..."
"Blind fold??? Please ಕಣೋ... ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ?? Tell me whats happening??"
"ಆಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮೂರ್ಛೆ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಬರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು ನೋಡು... You ask too many questions.. Now ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.."
"Agh!!!! Ok... ಆ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಗೇನಾದ್ರು ಆದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹೊಣೆ.."
"Ok, baba.. ಈಗ ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ನಡಿ... and follow my instructions.. ಸರಿನಾ??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... Ok.. ನೀನೊ, ನಿನ್ನ suprisesಓ..."

ಕಣ್ಣ ಮೇಲೊಮ್ಮೆ ಸವರಿಬಿಡು ಕೈಯ,
ಬಣ್ಣದ ಕನಸು ಮೂಡೀತು
ಒಂಚೂರು ಹಂಚಿಬಿಡು ಉಸಿರ,
ಇಂಚಿಂಚಲೂ ಕಂಪು ಹರಡೀತು.

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"Nivvi.. How was the cake??"
"Nivvi.. Tell us what wish did you make??"
"Arey.. She must have wished for a handsome husband... he he he.."

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"So... This is it.. Open your eyes.. Nivvi.."
ನಾನು ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಕಣ್ಣು ತರೆದಿದ್ದೆ....
WooooooWWWWW..!!!! I was speechless..
what a beautiful lake...
ಕೆರೆ, ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಉದರತಾ ಇರೋ ಮಳೆ ಹನಿ, ಆ ಸೂಯ್ ಅನ್ನೋ ಗಾಳಿಯ ನವಿರಾದ ಸದ್ದು, ಜೊತೆಗೇ ಹರಡಿರೋ ಒದ್ದೆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಕಂಪು,ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ, ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ಕೈ, ನಡಗತಾ ಇರೋ ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಿ ಹಿಡಿದ ನೀನು...
ಅಷ್ಟೋಂದು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯೇನೋ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??
ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನಿಗೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣ ಸಣ್ಣ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ, ಗುಲಾಬಿ-ಕೆಂಪು ಬಣ್ಣದ ಹಗುರು ಮೋಡ... ಆಕಾಶದ ಬಿಂಬ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಿಂತ ಕೆರೆಯ ನೀರು....
ಅಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??

ತಂಪು ರಾತ್ರಿ,
ನಿನ್ನ ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಚಂದ್ರ
ಇಣುಕಿ ನೋಡುವ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ
ನಾನು ನೀನಾಗಲು ಇನ್ನೇನು ಬೇಕು??

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"Nivvi... So what plans for the day??"
"Hey.. chalo.. lets dance.. Nivvi.. tell us your favourite song.. lets dance.."

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"ನನಗೇನು ಹೇಳಲಿ ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತಾಗತಾ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ..."
"Nivvi... " ನನ್ನ ಕಿವಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತಿರದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು.. ಆ ಬಿಸಿ ಉಸಿರಿಗೆ ನನ್ನೆದೆ ಒಂದು ಘಳಿಗೆ ನಿಂತಂತಾಗಿತ್ತು...
"Nivvi.. ಏನೂ ಹೇಳಬೇಡ.."
ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನ jacketನಿಂದ ಒಂದು pastry ತೆಗೆದೆ ನೀನು, ಪುಟ್ಟ ಪುಟ್ಟ candles, ನನಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟವಾದ White and pink Lillies...
"Happy birthday My Love..." ಮತ್ತೆ ಪಿಸಿಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ, ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನಡಿವಿನ ಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಕೇಳದಂತೆ..
ನಿನ್ನ ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹತ್ತಿರ ಕರೆದು, ಘಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿದೆ ನಾನು..
"Thank you.." ಮತ್ತೇನೂ ನನ್ನಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಡಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ...
I ws speechless.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ you would me make me fall in love with you very moment.. each and Every moment...
I fell in Love with you everytime.. as if it was the very first time...
"I Love YOU.. Nivvi..." ನಿನ್ನ ಧ್ವನಿಯೊಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ನನಗೆ ಇಡೀ ಜಗತ್ತಿನ ಪರಿವೇ ಇರಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಅದು ಯಾವಗ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಹನಿ ಉದುರಿತೋ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ, ಆ ಥರ... ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡತಿದ್ದೆ???
I was too much filled with emotions... and you were looking at me as if you understood every bit of it..
I hugged you close.. very close to my heart...
ಆಕಾಶದಡಿ, ಆ ಕೆರೆಯ ದಡದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪುಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು...

ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ, ಅದರ ರೀತಿಗೆ
ಕಣ್ಣ ಹನಿಗಳೆ ಕಾಣಿಕೆ...

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"Oye.. Nivvi..."
"Haan?? Yes.. AUhmmm... I would like to listen to.. Ahmmm.. Any song.. Any.."

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ನೂರಾರು ಮಾತು,
ಏಷ್ಟೋಂದು ನಗು,
ಕಡೆಗೊಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು..
ನಾಳೆಯ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ನೀನಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ!!!!

ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕಿನ್ನೂ ನಾನು

2010-07-25T01:03:00.000-07:00

ಹನಿಹನಿಯ ಮಳೆ ಹನಿ..
ಕೆನ್ನೆ ಮೇಲೆ..
ಕಣ್ಣೆತ್ತಿ ನೋಡಿದರೆ
ದಟ್ಟ ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನು..
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕಿನ್ನೂ ನಾನು..
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು..
ಒಂದು ಕನಸು..
ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ನೆನೆವ
ಒಂದು ಮನಸ್ಸು..
ಹರಡಿದರೆ ಬೆಳ್ಳಗಿನ
ರೆಕ್ಕೆಯಾಗುವ ಬೆರಳು
ಎದೆಯಲಿ ಉಸಿರಂತೆ
ತುಂಬುವ ನೆನೆಪುಗಳು
ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಂಡ
ಬಣ್ಣದ ಊರು..
ಅದಾರದೋ ಎದುರಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆತ
ಮಾತು ನೂರಾರು
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಡುವ ನೆರಳು..
ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟು ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಡುವ ದನಿ
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕು ಇನ್ನೂ..
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು...
ಇಬ್ಬರಾದರೂ ಒಬ್ಬರಾದಂತ ನಾನು..
ನನ್ನೊಡನೆ ಹಗುರಾಗುವ ಬಾನು..

Beep, Beep

2010-07-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

Me: "Uff!! Just finished packing.. all alone.. feels so wow!!"
She: "grt.. bt alone feels wow??"
Me: "Ys!! Feels so independent, so.. confident.."
She: "Hmm.. after a long time my roommate is here.. feels good to have someone around"
Me: "Hmm.. feels good only if u have someone worth having.."
She:" Nivi.. Its ok.. dont think so much.."
Me: "Hmmm.."
She: "I think u r becoming too independent.. so much that u feel nobody is worth having around" Me : "Ahh!! what ever.. I m enjoying myself"
She: " Nivi.. U cant be alone all ur life.."
Me: "Does it matter??"
She: "Yes it does.."
Me: "whatever.. y do u want to speak abt it now?? I m tired.. Just finished packing..
I even gotta shift my room.. I dont even have a boyfriend who is gonna help me out.. "
She: "Hmmm.. K.."
Me: "So you coming on 17,18th to blore??"
She: "Wel.. I want to come. But i dono if i can.. u know i have this project.."
Me: "Ya.. I know.. I ll call kati,shrado, juhi,manik also.. I just want all of us
to meet again.."
She: "Ya.. but dont keep high expectations nivi.. if I cant.. "
Me: "I ll understand..I m used to disappointments..he he he.. kidding.."
She: "wats so kidding abt it??!! :\"
Me: "Ok baba, U plz.. try to come.."
She: "ya.. i will.. anyways.. if I cant.. Paggu is with u.."
Me: "Ya.. I she is.."
She: "Hmmm.. Nivi.. dont become so much independent yaa.. i m scared for u.."
Me: "Arey.. nothing like that.. i m fine.. ABSOLUTELY FINE!!"
She: "Hmmm.. So when u shifting to ur new PG?"
Me: "Its just 12:30.. will have food, take a nap, freshen up n then leave by 4 or 5"
She:"Oh... PG mein aakhri baar khana"
Me: "Ya.. now.. madam..my msgs cost me!!"
She: "Thats ok.. U dont even have a boyfrn to chat or call.. ;) "
Me: "Mere akelepan ka fhayda utha rahi ho tum.. ;) "
She: "He he he.."
Me: "K then.. Make sure u have ur tickets for 17,18th.. bye"
She:"Will try my best.. n ya.. happy shifting n all the best for the new one!! Bye"
Me: "Thx.. Bye.."

Lost in your memories

2010-06-14T06:35:00.001-07:00

It was all so set in my mind. I had rehearsed this ‘The-moment’ for some 1000 times a day. I had it all clear. When I met you I would come to you, little nervous as I get always every time I think of you, and offer you a handshake with a little tensed smile on my face and lots of admiration in my eyes. You would also shake my hand and ask me a very natural question
“Hi.. How do I know you??”
I would say in a little trembling voice,
“Hi.. you don’t know me.. but.. I know everything about you.. Every damn thing”
You would still have so much of questions in your mind and I would read them in my mind. I would realize that you are in-need of clarification, so I would say
“Well, It’s a long story. Please let me explain over a cup of coffee??”
and you would say
“Ok”

From there after I didn’t know, If you would believe what I told you, or I didn’t know how I would convince you.. But all I needed is to speak to you. Speak to you once and let you know what was happening with me. But, I didn’t know that I would meet you like this…

I knew that you will come to this music concert. I knew every thought that would cross your mind. My mind was like your mind. I mean, a part of my mind had become your mind. I was able to know every thought you thought. Every move you want to make. I knew what was running in your mind when your boss called you for a meeting or when you saw a beautiful girl on the road, or when you had confusions regarding what to eat, what to buy, what to do on a week end. I knew exactly how you felt for your friends, your parents, your ex.. you still loved her.. I knew how you felt when you got any news from her. Well.. for me it was like my own mind. I knew your past. I had all the memories that you have. The memories of your first kiss, your sister’s first birthday gift, the memories of your basketball games, your college days.. everything. You had become a part of me. You were there in my mind all the time. It was as if I were you. I had lived inside your body.

I didn’t believe in déjà vu or anything like that. I was a true believer in myself. I never even gave a thought to consider the thought of the existence, non-existence of God, the yes-No of rebirths etc. And déjà vu.. ah!!! Had never even heard of it. And then suddenly I started experiencing some unknown thoughts. Thoughts that are not mine. Memories of incidents that I never experienced. It had all started after my accident. I had one of the very common blood groups O+ve. But the blood bank didn’t have O+ve, none of my friends were of O+ve blood group.. they all thought I ll die if I was not filled with blood immediately. I was there, all unconscious not knowing what was happening around. And then I felt something.. I felt something flowing inside me.. something very wet. I felt light.. I felt as if I was flying.. to where.. I don’t know.. I didnt care.My eyes were still closed.. but what I saw was something that was so beautiful than any other thing I saw with my open eyes.. so green, so wet.. it was raining.. I was in a forest.. around me there were so many trees, plants so beautiful flowers, the sound of that rain.. I felt I was in heaven in its rainy season. I saw a big bungalow.. It was one of those forest cottages.. all alone in the deep forests.. It was beautiful.. I went inside.. and then.. I saw you.. you stood there smiling, waiting for me to hold your hands and pull you out to get wet… we were getting wet.. I could smell you.. your body had a typical fragrance.. one of its own.. And then… I heard myself breathing heavy breaths.. I was alive.

After this blood donation of yours I started feeling you in me. I saw your thoughts very clearly like I saw mine.Evn though we didn’t know each other, I had come to know all your friends,relatives.. everyone you have met and have memories of… I could see you remembering your best friends when you missed them, I would feel nostalgic when you were. I knew you like You knew yourself. I saw you so many times in my mind. Soooo now and then. I had to concentrate on my own thoughts to know what I was thinking, but your thoughts would come to me as if they were my own. So easily accessible. I had gained your knowledge in books, music and basket ball. No..I was not a basket ball player, but I knew every detail of it as if I was the one in your body who had the ball in basket in your high school and college days.

I didn’t know where you lived. But I could see you walking around. The place didn’t look familiar to me. I had a curiosity to see you physically. I wanted to tell you what was happening to me. I even tried meeting you twice. I knew you attended a classical music concert every Saturday. I had it all planned to come and meet you. But there was a strange fear. I was scared for what if you didn’t believe me? What if you thought I was insane? What if you.. you just thought I was some desperate girl trying to get you?? Ah!! So many what ifs.. I was scared.

But then its been 2 months I have started seeing you romancing with me. I don’t know if they were your thoughts or mine. I would see you with a big bunch of red roses in hand, kneeling down and proposing me. I would see you and me on a long drive on a full moon. I saw you singing for me, playing guitar in a café with a smile.. me and you walking along the river. Well.. I think these are my own thoughts. I knew you so well that I was falling for you. I started loving you. It was not just the curiosity that made me desperate to meet you, it was also the beautiful person that you were, the ability in you to love someone so deep, the ‘YOU’ in you.. that was driving me crazy. I was surely falling for you. I had to meet you.

So there I was, rehearsing the scene of our meeting in my mind 1000 times a day, just to know that we were not supposed to meet the way I thought we would. I had seen you walking through the entrance. I was already in my seat. I was getting restless. I knew you wore black a T-shirt and Blue Jeans.. I saw that in your mind, you choosing the T- shirt. I knew exactly what you were thinking when you were riding your bike. You had an instinct.. as if something big is going to happen with you. I smiled to myself when I saw that thought of yours. When you entered, I saw you searching for a seat. Little did I know that you were seated just next to me!!!! I didn’t know what to say when you asked,
“Hi.. That’s my seat.. A-12”
Well… this was not how it was supposed to be. I didn’t get a word to speak. You were so near to me. I tried to read your mind… No.. Nothing.. Silence.. I tried again… Nothing again. I didn’t realize that I was starring at you and not speaking anything. I had come back to my mind when you asked again with that heavy voice of yours..
“Excuse me.. you ok?? This is my seat..which is yours??”
I was lost again. I was hearing your voice. Something that I had never known about you before. I didn’t even think how your voice would be.. I always listed your memories, thoughts in my voice. You had a very impressive voice, one of those that suits the RJs. Very clear, very heavy, very thick.. I was lost again. You said again, a little irritated this time..
“Excuse me…”
I came back from my own Riviera and said..
“Oh!! I m sorry.. I didn’t know.. My seat is A-11”
You smiled.
“That’s ok.. can you move please??”
“yeah sure” I said.
The music started. I tried to read your mind again to know what was it thinking. Did you think I was beautiful?? Did you think I was dumb?? I wanted know it all.. but.. I couldn’t read it. Hear it, see it.. as if there was some wall built between us. Now that I was so near to you.. should I tell you about the happenings of mine?? Would you believe?? What if you asked me to tell what is going on in your mind right now?? Why am I not able to hear to your thoughts?? I was getting irritated, restless, as if I have lost something and I am not able to remember where I have kept it. Ah!!! I tried hard, very hard to read your thoughts. I tried to remember your memories.. I failing everytime. What had happened?? I had to know the answers. I thought to myself,
“No, Not today.. I ll have to come back to him only after I got ansswers to my questions.”
I got up from my seat. Smiled at you. You smiled back. I started walking towards the exit…
What was it that was happening to me???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P. S: Hi all.. actually I wanted to end the story right here... but somehow, I was not able to find a proper ending. I was too much influenced by Stepene Mayer, Cecilia Ahren, Nicholas sparks when I was writing this. well.. so just waiting to get over with that influence and write something 'very much mine'. Will surely come up with something to end this story.
Till then Bye..
See you all again.

ತಲೆಗಳಿ

2010-05-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Dreambox,

’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’- ತಲೆಮಾರು/ವಂಶಾವಳಿ.

Well ಈಗ್ಯಾಕೆ ಈ ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’ ಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ Grammer details ಕೊಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ನೀನು ಯೋಚಿಸ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿಯಾ.. ಅಲ್ವಾ? Well, ಈಗ ನಾನು ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೀನಿ. ಶಿರಸಿಯಲ್ಲಿ. ನಿನ್ನೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ. So you must have got the hint.. right??Right.. ಆ ಪುಸ್ತಕದ ಹೆಸರು ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’. ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರ- ದಿ ವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿ.

ನನಗೆ ಈ ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಯಾಕೆ attract ಮಾಡ್ತು ಗೊತಾ?? ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ’ಹವ್ಯಕ’ ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿದೆ. ನಿರೂಪಣೆ ಸಾದಾ ಕನ್ನಡ(ಗ್ರಾಂಥಿಕ ಕನ್ನಡ)ದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದು character ಕೂಡ ಇಲ್ಲಿಯ local ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತಾಡುತ್ವೆ.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಮೊತ್ತೊಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಇದರ ದೇಶವ್ಯಾಪ್ತಿ. Well.. 'ದೇಶವ್ಯಾಪ್ತಿ' sounds so big.. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೋ ಊರುಗಳು, ಶಿರಸಿ,ಸಿದ್ಧಾಪುರ,ಬಿಳಗಿ ಸೀಮೆಯ ಊರುಗಳು. ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡಯುವ ಪ್ರತಿಯೋಂದು ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶವೂ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ್ಯ ಪೂರ್ವದ್ದು.ಆಗಿನ ಕಾಲದ ಹವ್ಯಕರನ್ನೂ ಸೇರಿದಂತೆ, ಅಡಿಕೆ ಬೆಳೆಗಾರರ,ಆರ್ಥಿಕ,ಸಾಮಾಜಿಕ, ಭಾವನಾತ್ಮಕ ನೆಲೆಗಟ್ಟಿನ(baseline) ಮೇಲೆ ಹೆಣೆಯಲ್ಪಟ್ಟಿದೆ. ಇಲ್ಲಿನ characterಗಳು ಪ್ರಾದೇಶಿಕ ನೆಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬದುಕಿನ ಸಂಕೀರ್ಣತೆಯನ್ನು ಹೊತ್ತು,ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತುಂಬಾ ಕಾಲ ಅಚ್ಚಳಿಯದೆ ಉಳಿದುದಿಡುವಂತಿದೆ. So, This novel is not just another novel with an exciting storyline. This is a piece of history, folkore and everything about 'That time'.

ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಯಕ್ಷಗಾನ,ಗಮಕ,ತಾಳ-ಮದ್ದಲೆ ಸಾಂಸ್ಕೃತಿಕ ಪ್ರಾಕರಕಳೊಂದಿಗೆ, ಕೃಷಿ,ಅಡುಗೆ ನಡುವಳಿಕೆಗಳ ಮಾದರಿಯನ್ನ ಅನುಭವಿಸಬಹುದು. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಮುಖ್ಯ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳಾದ ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯ ಹೆಗಡೆ ಮತ್ತು ಅವನ ಹೆಂಡತಿಯಾದ ಸರಸ್ವತಿ, ಅವರ ನಡುವಿನ ಸರಸ ದಾಂಪತ್ಯ, ಅಂತರ್ಗತ ಪ್ರೇಮಭಾವ, ಸರಳ ಮುಗ್ಧತೆ ಈ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಾರಣಗಳಿಂದ, all of us can see a part of ourselves in them.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ storyline ಏನು ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯ ಹೆಗಡೆಯ ಜೀವನ. ಅವನ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಸಂವೃದ್ಧವಾದ ಜೀವನ, ದಾರಿದ್ರ್ಯ ವಾಗಿ turn ಆಗೋದು, and then ಮತ್ತೆ ಅವನು ತಾನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಪಡೆಯೋದು.. and everythying in between this journey.

ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರರಾದ ದಿವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿಯವರ ಮತ್ತೋಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಯಾವುದನ್ನೂ ವಾಚ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಹೇಳದೇ ಓದುಗನ ಕಲ್ಪನೆಗೆ ಬಿಡುವಂಥದ್ದು. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಬರೊ ಶೈಲಜೆ ಮತ್ತು ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯನ ನಡುವಿನ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಇದಕ್ಕೋಂದು ಉದಾಹರಣೆ.

ಯಕ್ಷಗಾನ ಪ್ರಿಯರಿಗಂತು ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿ, ಹೋಳಿಗೆ ಊಟದ ಹಾಗಿದೆ. Well.. ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’ also has some drawbacks as it goes a little dramatic sometimes.. and a little 'too much to believe ' ಅನ್ನಿಸುವಂತಹ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶಗಳು.. ಆದ್ರೆ Its Ok.. and they are negligible.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯನ್ನ ಓದತಾ ಇದ್ರೆ, ಎಲ್ಲೋ ನಾನೂ ಅವರ ನಡುವೆ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅನ್ನಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರುವಾಗುತ್ತೆ.S.. Its worth a read.

The other stats of the book is as below.

ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರ: ದಿವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿ.

ಪ್ರಕಾಶಕರು: ಅಕ್ಷರ ಪ್ರಕಾಶನ, ಹೆಗ್ಗೋಡು.

ಬೆಲೆ: 300 ರೂ.

ಸರಿ ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಸಿಗೋಣ.

Bye :)

Someone.. Who is Me..

2010-05-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am sure, I was dreaming... I was writing in somebody's slambook...

I was filling the blank which said

I want to become ______

I filled it with my lines.. "I want to become like a feable sound of the heartbeat.. which is heard only in silence..."

I woke up with that..

A question mark in my head.. why did I write that??

ನೀನು.. ನನ್ನ ಕವನ..

2010-05-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

ನಡೆದ ದೂರಕ್ಕೂ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಗುರುತು.

ಬೆರಳ ಸರಪಳಿಗೆ ಮೆತ್ತೆನೆಯ ಮುತ್ತು..

ಮರಳು,ಮಸುಕು..

ಮಂಜು,ಬೆಳಕು..

ನಾಳೆಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕನಸಿನ ನಾಳೆಯಂತೇ..

ನಿದ್ದೆಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಸಮಯ??

ಮನಸೆಲ್ಲಾ ನಿನ್ನೆದೆಯಲ್ಲಿದೆ..

ಕಣ್ಣು ಕಪ್ಪು..

ಕಾಂಬೋ ಕನಸಿಗೆ....ಎಷ್ಟೋಂದು ಬಣ್ಣ!!

ನೀನು, ನಿನ್ನ ನಗು

ಬಿಸಿಲು ಮಳೆ...

ನೀನು, ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪು

ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆ ತುಟಿಯ ಮೇಲೆ..

ಹನಿ ಹನಿಸೋ ಆಕಾಶ..

ನವಿರೇಳಿಸುವ ತಂಗಾಳಿ..

ಗಾಜು - ಕಿಟಕಿಯ ತುಂಬಾ

ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಸರೇ.. ಗೀಚುವ ಬೆರಳಲಿ..

ನಡುಕ..

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರೂ..

ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ...

ನೀನು, ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿ..

ಅಮಲು, ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ

ನೀನು, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪುಗೆ

ಆಸೆ, ಅನುರಾಗ...

ಹಸಿರುಗಪ್ಪು ಕಾಡು..

ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳು.

ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಣಿಕೆಗೆ,

ನಿನ್ನ ಕೈ ಬೆರಳು..

ನದಿಯ ರಾಗ

ಭಾವ,ಭಾಷೆ ನಿನ್ನದು

ಬಿಸಿಲೊಡೆದು ಬಣ್ಣವಾಗುವಾಗ

ಕನಸು ನನ್ನದು..

ನೆನಪು ಕನಸುಗಳ ನಡುವೆ.. 1(ಕಥೆ)

2010-04-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

ಕಾಡೋ ನೆನಪುಗಳಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ಹೆಸರಿಡಬೇಕು. ಯಾಕೆ?? ನನಗೇ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ... ಅವು ಯಾರ ನೆನಪುಗಳು, ನನ್ನ ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಕಾಡುತ್ವೆ?? ಆ ನೆನಪುಗಳು ನಾನು ಒಂಟಿ ಇದ್ದಾಗಲೇ ಯಾಕೆ ಕಾಡುತ್ವೆ?? ಒಂದು movie ಥರ ಅನ್ನಿಸಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೆ ನನಗಂತು.. Like a mystery..By the way ಅವೆಲ್ಲಾ ನಿಜವಾಗ್ಲೂ ನೆನಪುಗಳೇನಾ?? ಹಾಗದ್ರೆ ನನಗೆ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿರುವವನ ಮುಖ ಯಾಕೆ ಕಣಿಸಲ್ಲ?? ಸಂಜೆಯ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತ ತಕ್ಷಣ, ಗಾಳಿಯ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಅದೆಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೋ ಹಾರಿ ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಬರುತ್ವೆ, as if I was destined to know them... ಆ ನೆನಪುಗಳಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲ ನಾನು ಮಾತ್ರ ನನಗೆ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಿಸ್ತೀನಿ.. ಅವನು ಯಾರೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. I get confused sometimes, ಅದು ನನ್ನ ನೆನಪಲ್ಲಾ.. ನನ್ನ ಕನಸು.. ಹಾಗಲ್ಲದೇ ಇದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಆ ನೆನಪಿನವನ ಜೊತೆ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದ ಹೇಗೆ ಇರಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯ?? He treats me like a princess.. like someone he doesnt want to loose at any cost.. ಅವನ ನೆನಪಾದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ, ನನಗೂ ಎನೋ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿರೋ ಥರ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.. as if, he was my love and now we have broken the relationship.. and ಆ ಸ್ನೇಹ, ನಮ್ಮ ನಡುವಿದ್ದ ಪ್ರೀತಿ, ಅವನು ನನ್ನ ಕನಸುಗಳಲ್ಲಿದ್ದವನೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸುವಷ್ಟು ಹೋಲಿಕೆ... what is this?? ಕನಸುಗಳು ನೆನಪುಗಳಾಗೊದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯ ಇದ್ಯ?? That without truely happening??

ಸಂಜೆಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ಒಂಟಿ ಅನ್ನಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಆಗುತ್ತೆ ಬಹಳಷ್ಟು ಸಲ, ನನ್ನ ನೆರಳ ನೋಡ್ತಾ ಕೂತು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರತೀನಿ.. ನನ್ನ ನೆರಳೂ ಒಂಟಿ.. ಅಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೂ ನನ್ನ ಜೊತೆಯಾಗಿ ನಡೆದವರೂ ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ? ಹಾಗಾದರೆ ಈ ನೆನಪುಗಳು ಯಾರವು? ಯಾರದೋ ನನೆಪುಗಳು ಮತ್ತಾರದೋ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯ ಇದ್ಯಾ?? what is it?? A new kind of deja vu?? ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಆದ್ರೆ ಆ ನೆನಪುಗಳು ಮಾತ್ರ ತುಂಬಾ ಸುಂದರ.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಸುಂದರ ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. If I get to know the guy in it.. I ll never loose him.. never break up.. There must be some connection.. something.. which dont know YET!! ಆ ನೆನಪುಗಳೇ ಉತ್ತರ ಕೊಡಬೇಕು.. ಕಾಯ್ತೀನಿ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಸಂಜೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಅದು ಯಾರದೋ ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಜೊತೆ..

A City, A Friend and Me - Part 1

2010-03-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Well..

This post is very very obvious.. Its has nothing fantacy in it, no Love, no romance, no rona-dhona.. No bollywood.. Nothing..

Now you will ask me.. why have I posted it?? Right?? I know.. Ok.. to answer your question..I will have to say "For No reason". You wont believe me right?? Well.. ya.. there is a reason.. My friend has come to my city.. yessssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is in MY CITY!!! She got transfered here and she is IN MY CITY!!!!!!! God!!!! I m soooooooooooooo haaaaapppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! I m so happy.. ok.. relax nivi... ya. I am fine..

You know.. they say right.. If you want to Love a city.. start loving the people there??? Now.. I have a reason to love this city more(This means I was already in love with the city)

Everytime I would shop.. I would miss her so much.. we exactly knew each other's choices.. The shop keeper would be showing some dress.. one of us would immediately say. NO to it as we knew each other's choices.. I dont have to worry about my week-end plans now.. I have got my friend, who inspite of hating to watch an idiotic movie like 'pyar Impossible' would come with me just to give me company.. a friend to whom i dont have to say a word.. she would understand all by herself.. god!! I m happy..

Well.. Thanks to her company which gave her a transfer!!!

Finally... Paggu... Wel-come, Welcome to MY CITY.. soon which is going to be YOUR CITY.. and OUR CITY finally!!! Wow.. I cant believe You are here.. WelCome.!!!

Chalate Chalate....

2010-03-13T07:01:00.000-08:00

I was in a bus going to meet my daughter. It was her graduation day. I had to be there.

I kept my luggage in the luggage holder, and sat in the window seat. I suddenly felt old. I was 50. I was old, at least old enough to feel tired after a long day in office.

I put my ear phones and my iPod started to sing…

“chalate chalte...

yu hi koi, milagaya tha.. yu hi koi.. mil gaya tha,

sare raah chalte chalte.. sare raah chalte chalte.."

I closed my eyes to enjoy the cool breeze. Someone patted me

“Excuse me.. are you Niveditha??”

I removed my earphone and said, “Yes..” I had a question mark on my face.

The lady who patted me was equally puzzled and said,

“Hi.. My seat is 31. Its beside that gentleman” she pointed to someone, but I couldn't see. She continued.

“I wanted an exchange of seat, that gentleman says you will be interested for exchange.. you mind exchanging the seats please??” she asked politely.

I was confused. Who was this guy?? And why would I be interested in sitting beside him?? I got up from my seat and peeped to see who the person was.

For a moment I was still. As if its all a movie and someone had pressed the pause button. I could feel my heart beat. The lady there interrupted my reverie,

“Niveditha?? Will you exchange??”

I said “ofcourse!!”

I took my luggage from the holder, went to the seat 31, put my luggage there and sat. my heart started beating.. I thought everyone there could hear my heart beat. He didn't look at me. He knew I was there. He had closed his eyes, the smile.. that same old smile was on his face as if he could read what was going on in my mind.

“25 years, 4 months, and 5 days…” he said so softly with that smile. His eyes were still closed. he opened his eyes. They were same. They had not changed at all.. except that they were little tired now, more mature. They had seen more life. He looked at me

I didn't say a word.. kept starring at him. Just kept looking at his amazed eyes.

He cleared the hair strand that was falling on my face. He said

“You are beautiful.. still so beautiful”.. he continued

“So.. how old are you now?? 50??”

“well.. you should be knowing.. one year elder to you..” I said and both of us started laughing.. and then he held my hands and said..

“Nivvuu.. I missed you..”

At that very moment I was 26 years younger than today. I was 24 again. It was a similar evening like today..26 years back…

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I was working in a software company going home for some festival. I was single. I had not got a ladies seat. I was worried who will come and sit beside me. Nobody came to sit beside me. Suddenly a cute boy, with a half sleeves shirt and a jeans, really good looking guy came. He put his bag up, sat in his seat and started to wipe the sweat beads on his forehead. I turned to him and asked politely

“uuuuuu.. Hi.. look.. I have asked conductor if he can check for a seat exchange.. if there is any exchange available, we’ll have to exchange..” I waited for an answer.

He looked at me and said in a very serious tone..

“Ok.. I don’t mind.. you can go and sit anywhere..” he started laughing.

I gave that “what????” kind of look and said in a very dramatic tone

“Ha ha ha.. Very funny??” I put my ear phones into my ears. I was fuming inside.. how could he insult me like that??

He turned to me and said.. “you know.. I had almost missed the bus” he spoke as if he knew me from a long time.as if we were childhood friends.

I was really pissed off. I said “I really wished you did.. I wish u missed the bus” I said and I started opening my chips packet.

He said again “I have not had my dinner.. and I am hungry”

I looked at him.. he was kind of cute. Very cute. I asked him

“what are you doing in Bangalore?? Student??”

He picked up few chips from the packet without even asking me.. and said

“Do I look like a student to you??”

“well.. I don’t know..” I said

“No.. I m not a student.. I m a software engineer.. I work for this company.. I just joined 4 months back.. what about you??” he smiled. I noticed for the first time.. he got those cute dimples.. he was really cute.. but he was a year younger to me!!

I said, “well I m a software engineer too.. I work for this company from 1 and a half years..”

I looked into my eyes.. and smiled and said.. “oh.. elder to me huh?? Hmmm.. so where did you do your engineering??”

I said, “From Belgaum.. you??”

“From Bangalore.. my hostel life was fantastic…” he said.

“Hostel life huh??” I teased him.. “what was so fantastic about it??” I winked my eye.

“Well.. I got lots of knowledge there…” he winked back.

“Knowledge??” I stressed “hmm.. lots of general knowledge huh??”

We both laughed.. I suddenly started liking him. I felt as if we were some long lost friends and have met now and updating ourselves.We started speaking a lot.. we started chatting about I don’t remember what all.. I asked him about his girlfriends.. he said he had none.

I acted as if I was surprised and said.. “don’t you lie to me.. you are so charming.. any girl will fall for you”

He said.. “ Well.. I thought, I ll start with the elder women.. Thanks for the compliments though..” and winked at me.

I smiled. He was flirting with me. I also flirted. For some reason I said..

“I am elder to you.. you are not supposed to be doing this..”

He said.. “It doesn’t really matter to me if you are elder to me..”

We chatted. I laughed. Laughed like never before. I flirted without any fear. He flirted too..

I tried to sleep. Try to close my eyes. He would stare at me. I could sense it. He was constantly looking at me. He spoke so much with his eyes. I turned my face and tried to ignore him and failed every time… he didn’t miss a single vision of mine. I turned his face to other side.. he didn’t let it turn..

I did it 2 times.. when I did it again, he held my hand and let it caress his cheek.. My heart started beating fast. I took my hand back. He kept looking into my eyes. He touched my cheek He held my hand tightly.. I don’t know why.. I didn’t refuse.. I didn’t back out. I didn’t say a word… I held his hands too…. I touched his lips, his cheek… he had closed his eyes..

I suddenly realized what I was doing.. I backed off.. but he held my hands.. held it tightly.. I looked into his eyes.. they asked nothing more at that moment. I felt as if he wanted to hold my hands forever.. he spoke very softly into my ears.. his breath made my heart beat fast again.. he said.. “ you know what.. Your eyes are very beautiful.. they make me loose myself.. they make me go crazy...”

I didn’t know what to say.. I said “ I am elder to you..”

He was still holding my palm.. my fingers curled up into his.. it was a very warm feeling. It made me feel I was loosing on something all these days.. how much I wanted someone to hold me like that… but I was sure.. the ‘someone’ was not surely this guy.. he was younger to me!!! He was still looking into my eyes.. he was cute. Irresistibly cute.

He turned to me and broke that silence, “I don’t have a problem…”

I just smiled and said.. “stop flirting..” we laughed.

That night we didn’t sleep for even 10 minutes. We chatted, chatted and chatted.. he was holding my hands all the time. I was leaning on his shoulder..

After that journey I hardly met him. Of course we were in contact for sometime.. but.. later I got married, had children.. and got divorced!!!

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He interrupted , “ You are beautiful.. till today.. your husband must be a very lucky man..”

I just smiled and said.. “ I am divorced!!”

He smiled and said.. “ Good for me.. I am still available.. for an extra marital affair” he winked at me.I just patted his shoulder and started the journey once again!!

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ.. 3

2010-02-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

Hi..

ನಿನ್ನ ಏನಂತಾ ಕರೀಲಿ?? ನೀನು ಮಾತ್ರ ನನ್ನ 'Dreamboy' ಅಂತಾ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದವಾಗಿ ಕರೀತೀಯಾ.. ನೀನು ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೆ!!! ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು.. ನಿನಗೆ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇದೆ ಅಲ್ವ?? ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ miss ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಿಜ ಕಣೇ.. ನೀನು ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ.. ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ’dreamboy’ ಅಂತಾ ಕರೆಯುವಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣು ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಹೊಳೀತಿತ್ತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. u know what I liked the most in u?? your eyes.. they were soo.. ಹೇಗೆ ಹೇಳಲಿ.. they were so brown.. so dreamy.. and u know.. ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ , it gave me a confidence.. ನೀನು ಜೊತೆಗಿದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಏನನ್ನು ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೂ ಮಾಡ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿತ್ತು..

ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಕಣೆ ನನಗೆ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಡೆದ ಪ್ರತೀ walk ನೆನಪಿದೆ.. ಅದೂ ಆ ಮಳೆ ನಂತರದ walk ಯಾವತ್ತು ಮರೀಲಿಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ. you looked so beautiful with that wet hair and you know.. with that spreading smile with dimples on both the sides.. i felt like touching those dimples and feel ur soft skin!!!.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಆಸಕ್ತಿಯಿಂದಾ ಕೇಳತಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರತೀ ಮಾತನ್ನೂ!! ಹೇಗೆ ಮರೀಲಿ?? ನನ್ನ jacketನ ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ವಾಪಸ್ ಕೊಟ್ಟಾಗ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಪರಿಮಳ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಮಳೆ ಆದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ಒಬ್ಬನೆ ನೆಡೀತೀನಿ.. ಜೊತೆಗೆ ನೀನಿರತೀಯಾ.. ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದ್ ಥರದ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು ಬಿಡತೀನಿ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಕಳೆದು ಕೊಂಡಿರೋ ದುಃಖಕ್ಕಿಂತಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ, ನಾನು ’ನಾನಾಗಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ’ ಸಂತೃಪ್ತಿಯ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು.. ನಿನ್ನ ’ಜೊತೆ’ ನನಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಕೃತಜ್ನತೆಯ ನಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿರು.. ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ , ನೀನು ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬೆಜಾರಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಾಗ ನನ್ನ ಎದೆಗೆ ಒರಗಿಕೋತಿದ್ದೆಯಲಾ, ಆವಾಗಾ, ಮತ್ತೆ ನೀನು ಸುಮ್ಮನೇ ಮಾತಾಡೋವಾಗೆಲ್ಲಾ.. ಕೆಲವೋಮ್ಮೆ ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ smile ಕೊಟ್ಟಾಗ.. ಹೀಗೇ.. ತುಂಬಾ ಸಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಆ ಗುಳಿ ಬೀಳೋ ಕೆನ್ನೆ ಸವರಿ ಒಂದು light kiss ಕೊಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ತುಂಬಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿತ್ತು.. but then.. never dared to do so.. ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಯಾಕೆ ಅಂತಾ.. ಈ ಥರ ಒಬ್ಬನೇ walk ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ಕೇಳಕೋತೀನಿ.. ಮತ್ತೆ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು ಬರತ್ತೆ ಬಿಟ್ರೆ.. ಉತ್ತರ ಮಾತ್ರ ಸಿಗಲ್ಲಾ..

BTW , I got a confession to make.. ನಾನು ಮೊದ ಮೊದಲು ನಿನ್ನ poems, sorry 'ಕವಿತೆ-ಕವನ’ ಗಳನ್ನ... ನಿನಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಕವಿತೆ ,'Poems' ಅಂತಾ ಕರೆದರೆ ಇಷ್ಟ ಆಗತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ.. you wud say.. "ನಾನು ನನ್ನ 'Poems'ಗಳನ್ನ ’ಕವನ-ಕವಿತೆ’ ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡತೀನಿ.. you know the word Poem doesnt have that effect the word 'ಕವನ-ಕವಿತೆ’ has".. ok where was I?? ನಿನ್ನ ಕವಿತೆಗಳನ್ನ ಕೇಳತಿದ್ದು.. ನಿನ್ನ impress ಮಾಡೋಕೆ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಧ್ವನಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿತ್ತು.. more over I just liked to listen to u.. just listen and see you explaining me the meaning.. was it difficult for u to make me understand the kannada?? ನಾನೋ ಕನ್ನಡ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಬರದೇ ಇದ್ದವನು.. ನನಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಕವಿತೆಗಳನ್ನ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಸೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗತಿತ್ತಾ?? ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ಆಮೇಲಾಮೇಲೆ ನನಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಕವಿತೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟ ಆದ್ವು.. ನಿನ್ನ ಥರ ಕನ್ನಡ ಮಾತಾಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಆಸೆ ಆಯ್ತು.. ನನ್ನ ಕನ್ನಡ ಈಗೇನಾದ್ರು ಸರಿಇದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ನನ್ನ inspiration.. ನಿನ್ನ impress ಮಾಡೋಕೇ ಅಂತಾ ನಾನು ನಮ್ಮ college ನಲ್ಲಿ ಆದ ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನೇ anchoring ಮಾಡೊಕೆ ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂಡೆ.. ನೀನು ಆ ದಿನ programಗೆ lateಆಗಿ ಬಂದಾಗ.. ನೀನು ಬರೋದೇ ಇಲ್ಲವೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು.. ನೀನು ಬಂದಾಗ ಕೂತಲ್ಲಿಂದಾನೇ ಒಂದು smile ಕೊಟ್ಟಾಗ ಎಷ್ಟು confidence ಬಂತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. I was too happy to express.. I felt as if I had the best thing.. as if I had the girl everyone wanted to have.. U were there for me all time.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಇರೋದು ಅಗತ್ಯ ಅನ್ನಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಆಯ್ತು.. u became an addiction to me..

ಆದ್ರೆ.. I was not ready for any commitments.. well.. I was afraid!! I was afraid i wouldnt feel this way for a life time.. I knew You loved me and would continue to make me feel special and happy all my life.. but.. I was not sure of myself.. i didnt know If I was really ur dreamboy.. You were too good to be true.. ನಿಜ.. you were too good to be true.. ಮೊದಮೊದಲು ನೀನು ನನ್ನ commitment ಗೆ ಕೇಳದೆ.. ಆಮೇಲೆ ನಿನಗೂ ಗೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತು.. ನಾನು ಎಷ್ಟು ಹಿಂಜರೀತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ.. the moment u understood my fears.. u decided to give me some time.. ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ disappointment ನ ಒಂದು ಸಲ ಕೂಡ ನನ್ನ ಎದುರಿಗೆ ತೋರಿಸಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿಲ್ಲ.. y were u so good to me?? y?? I was not worth it.. u were always my strength.. never let me feel low.. never let me fall.. you gave me a confidence.. you taught me to say a 'NO'.. and ನೋಡು.. ನಾನು ಎನ್ ಮಾಡಿದೆ ಅಂತಾ.. I said a 'NO' to you.. ನಿನಗೆ ’No' ಅಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟೆ!! probably.. I realised i was nothing without you.. I was 'ME' only when you were ther.. I wanted to be me by my own.. ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲಿಟ್ಟಿರೋ ಆ ಭರವಸೆ, you know that 'Trust', 'faith' ಭಾರ ಅನ್ನಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಆಯ್ತು.. ಆದ್ರೂ ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದೆ ನಾನು ನನ್ನ pblms ಗಳನ್ನ solve ಮಾಡಲಿಕ್ಕೇ ಆಗ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ dependent ಆಗಿ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ಕಣೇ.. ಇದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ ತಪ್ಪು ಏನೂ ಇಲ್ಲಾ.. ಆದರೂ ನೀನೇ ತುಂಬಾ loss ಅನುಭವಿಸಿದ್ದು ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ break up ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಾಗ ನನಗೇನನ್ನಿಸಿತ್ತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? I felt you will be hurt more than me.. ನಿನಗೆ ನನಗಿಂತಾ ಹೆಚ್ಚಗೆ ನೋವಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತಾ.. ಆದ್ರೆ ಈಗನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.. I am the one who has lost.. lost myself.. will you ever be able to forgive me for my mistake?? no.. I dont want to get back to you.. or make it up to you.. just get forgiveness from you for hurting you more than i gave happiness.. ನಿನಗೆ ನಾನು ಖುಷಿಗಿಂತಾ ನೋವು ಕೊಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಭಾವನೆಗಳನ್ನಾ value ಮಾಡಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ತುಂಬಾ ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥಿ ಆಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ... ನನ್ನ ಕ್ಷಮಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ?? Will you ever forgive me??

-Your Dreamboy(If I am still a dream for you)

ಅಜ್ಜನ ಮನೆ ಕತೆ...

2010-01-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

ದೃಶ್ಯ:
ನನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಯ ಗಂಗಾಸಮಾರಧನೆ. ಮೂರನೆ ಪಂಗ್ತಿ ಊಟ ಆಗಿ ಬಳಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದ( ನೆಲ ಒರೆಸುವ ಒಂದು ವಿಧಾನ). ಕಿಡಕಿ ಕಟ್ಟೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದ ನೆಂಟರು ಸುಮಾರು ಜನ ಕುಂತ್ಗಂಡು ಸುದ್ದಿ ಹೊಡೀತಾ ಇದ್ದ. ನಾನೂ ಬಡಿಸಿದ್ದ ಕೈಯೆಲ್ಲ ತೊಕ್ಕಂಡು ಬತ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದಿ.

ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ:
ಗೀತತ್ತೆ (ನನ್ನ ಅತ್ತೆ): "ಅಲ್ದೆ ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಅವರ ಮನೆ ಶ್ವೇತಕ್ಕನ ಮದುವೆಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಗಂಡಿನ ಬದಿಯವ್ವು, ಶ್ವೇತಂಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟ ಹೇಳಿ ತಂದೂರಿ ರೊಟ್ಟಿ ಮಾಡಿದಿದ್ವಡಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಯಂತಾ ಮಾಡಕಾತೆ??"
( ನಾನು ’ಮತ್ತೆ- ನನ್ನ- ಮದುವೆ- ವಿಷಯ-ಹಮ್ಮ್..’ ಅಂತಾ expression ಕೊಟ್ಟಿಕ್ಕೆ ಇನ್ನೆಂತೊ ಹೇಳ ಹೇಳೀ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದಿ)
ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ( ನನ್ನ ಚಿಕ್ಕಮ್ಮ- ನಾನು ಕರ್ಯದು ಅಕ್ಕಾ ಹೇಳಿ) :" ಅಯ್ಯಾ.. ಯಮ್ಮನೆ ನಿವೇದಿತನ ಮದ್ವೆಗೇsss ತ್ರಾಸೇ ಇಲ್ಲೆ.. ಅದ್ಕ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಹೇಳಿ ಒಂದು ತೊವೆ, ದಡ್ಲಿ ಕಾಯ್ ಉಪ್ಪಿನಕಾಯಿ, ಖಾರ ಮೆಣಸಿನ್ ಕರೆ ಸಂಡ್ಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರಾಗೋತು.. ಅಲ್ದನೆ ನಿವೇದಿತಾ???!!!"
ನಾನು: "ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ.. ಹೌದು.. ಅದ್ರೆ ಗಂಡಿನ ಬದಿಯೌಕೆ ತ್ರಾಸಿಲ್ಲೆ. ನಿಂಗಕಿಗೆ ತ್ರಾಸೆಯಲೆ?? ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ.. ಶ್ವೇತಕ್ಕನ ಅಪ್ಪನ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಚೊಲೊ ಊಟಾನೇ ಮಾಡಿದಿದ್ವಲೆ??"

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ದೃಶ್ಯ:
ಗಂಗಾ ಸಮಾರಧನೆಯ ಮುನ್ನೆಣೆ (ಹಿಂದಿನ) ದಿನದ ರಾತ್ರಿ. ಊಟ ಮುಗಿಸಿಕ್ಯಂಡು ಮನಕ್ಯಮಲೆ ಹೇಳಿ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಮೆತ್ತಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತಿ ಹಾಶಿಗೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಕುಂತ್ಗಂಡು ಸುದ್ದಿ ಹೊಡಿತಾ ಇದ್ದ( ನಾನು, ಅಮ್ಮ, ನನ್ನ ಇಬ್ರೂ ಮಾವ, ಅತ್ತೆ, ತಮ್ಮಂದಿಕ್ಕ, ನನ್ನ ಕಾಕ, ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ, ಅಜ್ಜ, ಆಯಿ, ಮತ್ತೆ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ- ನನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜಿ.)

ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ:
ಜೊತತ್ತೆ( ನನ್ನ ಸಣ್ಣತ್ತೆ):
" ಅಲ್ದೇ.. ಶೈಲತ್ಗೆ.. ಔರಂಗಾಬಾದನಲ್ಲಿ ಚರ್ಮದ bagಎಲ್ಲ ರಾಶಿ ಚೊಲೋ ಸಿಗ್ತು ಹೇಲಿದಿದ್ಯಲೆ.. ಸುಳ್ಳ ಸುಳ್ಲ ಹೇಳಿದ್ಯಲೇ.. ಅಲ್ಲೀಗೇಯಾ ಬ್ಯಾರೆ ಬದಿಯಿಂದಾವ ತ್ರಸ್ವಡಾ.."
ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ: ಇಶ್ ಶಿಶ್ರೋss.. ಯಾನು ಸುಳ್ಳೇ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಳ್ ಮಾಡವು ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೆ. ನೀನು ಖರೆ ಹೇಳಿ ನಂಬ್ಕ್ಯ ಬುಟ್ಯಲೇ ಮಳ್ಳುsss...( ಜೋರಾಗಿ ನಗು)
ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ:"ಜ್ಯೋತಿ.. ಸುಳ್ಳೇಯಾ ಹsssss!! ಇದ್ಕೂ ಸಮಾ ಯಂತೂ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲೆ.. ನಿಂಗೆ ಈಗ ಸುಳ್ಳೇಯಾ ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳ್ತು.."
(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದು)
ಜೋತತ್ತೆ: " ಹೌದೇ ಸವಿತತ್ಗೆ.. ಯಾನೂವಾ ಹೌದು ಹೇಳಿ ನಂಬಿಕ್ಯಂಡು.. ಆ ಅಂಗಡಿಯವನ ಹತ್ರ ಹೋಗಿ.. ’ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಚರ್ಮದ ಸಾಮಾನು ಚೊಲೋ ಸಿಗ್ತದ್ಯ??’ ಹೇಳಿ ಕೇಳದ್ರೆ ಅಂವಾ ’ಇಲ್ಲ ಮೇಡಂ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೇ ಬೇರೆ ಕಡೆಯಿಂದಾ ತರಿಸ್ತೇವೆ’ ಹೇಳಿ ನ್ಯಗಾಡ್ತಾ.."
(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದು)
ಅಜ್ಜಿ(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ) : "ಅಲ್ದೆ ಜೋತಿ.. ಅಲ್ಲೂವಾ ಕನ್ನಡಾನೇ ಮಾತಾಡ್ತ್ವನೇ??"
(ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನ್ಯಗಡ್ದ)

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ದೃಶ್ಯ:
ಮೇಲಿನದೇ ದೃಶ್ಯ.
ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ:
ಆಯಿ : "ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಶಣಾ.. ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಆಫೀಸ್ ನಲ್ಲೇ ಯಾರನ್ನಾದ್ರೂ ನೋಡಕ್ಯಂಜ್ಯನೇ??"
ನಾನು: "ಆಯಿ.. ಯನ್ನ officeನಲ್ಲಿ ಇರವೆಲ್ಲಾ ತಮಿಳ್ರು, ತೆಲಗ್ರೇಯಾ.. ಯಾರನ್ನೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಂಜ್ನಿಲ್ಲೆ"
ಆಯಿ:"ಅಲಾ.. ಹಂಗೇನಾದ್ರೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಳದಿದ್ರೆ ನೋಡ್ಕ್ಯ.. ಯಂಗಕಿಗೇನು ಬ್ಯಾಜಾರಿಲ್ಲೆ"
ನಾನು: "ಆಯಿ.. ಅಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲೆ".
ಅಜ್ಜಿ(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ): "ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಹಂಗೇಯಾ.. ಗೋತ್ರಾನೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಂಡು ನಿನಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದವ್ರನ್ನಾ ಹುಡ್ಕ್ಯಬುಡು.. ಗೊತ್ತಾತ??"
ನಾನು:" :) .. ಅಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲಿ ಗೋತ್ರಾ ಕೇಳಕ್ಯಂಡೇಯಾ.. Love ಮಾಡ್ತಿ.. ಯಾರದ್ರು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ರೆ.."

I have my fingers crossed!!!

2009-12-30T22:07:00.000-08:00

ಹಿಂದಿನ ವರ್ಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ Dec 31st 2008, ನಾನು ನನ್ನ friend ಹತ್ರ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದೆ..

"Hey.. wats your resolution for the new year??" ಅಂತಾ..

ಅವನು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದವಾಗಿ,

"Its 1024 x 768" ಅಂದಿದ್ದ.. ;-)

Well.. coming to the point..ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ಆಗಿಹೋಯ್ತು!!! ಭುವನೇಷ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ collegeನವರೆಲ್ಲ ಸೇರಿ ನಾವು new year celebrate ಮಾಡಿದ್ವಿ.. antakshari, rapid fire, dumb sherads ರಾತ್ರಿ ಯಿಂದ ಬೆಳಗಿನವರೆಗೂ ಆಟ, ನಗು, ಹರಟೆ!!! and then the days followed..they were some expected and then some unexcepted and some anticipated!!

Well.. I have kept my fingers crossed for 2010, as it has lots to decide for me!!!

Happy new Year!!!

What was I thinking?

2009-11-27T05:49:00.000-08:00

Dear DreamBox,
Well.. Guess wat??? Today it’s a year I joined this company.. last year on 28th of November I had my 1st day at office.. my first day into corporate world.. my 1st step towards being independent, my new beginning.. a new day… and you know where I was at this time last year rite??? Yes!! I was in Bhubaneswar.. one of my favourite places.. My first day.. so far from parents, far from people who know the language I know, far from all the food I have been eating my life,.. far from my college friends.. Little afraid, little scared.. so much excited.. so many hopes, dreams , expectations..

Look at me now.. I feel so different. I feel so new.. I feel as if I completed reading the suspense chapter of some suspense novel.. I feel strange.. as if all curosity in my life is over.. I don’t even know if it’s a good sign or not..

No. . I have not lost all the curosity towards my future. I still have.. but its like I some how know where the story is going to take turns,ups and downs.. Its just that I don’t know how its going to happen.. I know the destination.. I know the path.. I just don’t know how my journey would be… you getting me right??

In office today we all congratulated each other.. some even made fun by telling that lets mourn for 2 mins in the memories of our lost souls.. he he he..we planned to have a small party kind of stuff sometime tomorrow(small one b’coz its month end.. and our bank balance is low.. L). I too laughed with them, had fun.. but now that I am writing this.. I feeling nostalgic.. nostalgic of the old days..

I remember my days in bhubhaneswar, the happy times, the tough times.. the lonely times.. everything seems to be so fresh for a second.. but when I concentrate on them.. I feel them fading away.. as if suddenly its fog every where and I m not able to see things as clearly as I saw them just a second before.. I have to ask my friends for the names of the places we visited.. the names of the people we lived with.. the names of the dishes, the restaurants, the streets.. is it a good sign?? I don’t know..
I see my self as if I am watching a movie of my own life.. Its fine to cry seeing myself cry rite?? Does that mean I still have the pain in me?? Doesn’t matter.. who cares.. rite??
So… wish me luck for my future.. I m trying to sound excited… Its my one year completion yaar… he he he(exciting enough????).. chalo then.. bye.. take care.. ya.. miss you.. byeee…..

ಮೌನದ ಕವಿತೆ

2009-11-18T05:54:00.000-08:00

ಮೌನದ ಕವಿತೆ

ಸಾಲುಗಳ ತುಂಬಾ ನೀರವತೆ

ಶಬ್ದ ಶಬ್ದದಲ್ಲೂ ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದ

ಭಾವಗಳೇ ಇಲ್ಲ ಹೃದಯವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಸಂದಿಗ್ಧ

ಎತ್ತೆತ್ತಲಿಂದಲೋ ಹುಡುಕಿ ತಂದ ಸಾಲು..

ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ಕನಸ್ಸಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ನೆನಪಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ತಂದ ಸಾಲಲ್ಲೇ ಪಾಲು..

ಅದೇಕೆ ಬರೆಯಬೇಕೋ ಏನೋ

ಕವಿಗೆ ಕವಿತೆಯನ್ನ...

ಹುಡುಕಿ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಮನದೊಳಗೆ,

ಅಂತರಾಳದೊಳಗೆ

ಕಂಡ ಕನಸುಗಳ ಗಂಟಲ್ಲಿ,

ನೆನಪುಳಿದ ನೆನಪುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ..

The sand I walked on, is back in my shoes… -2

2009-10-30T23:09:00.000-07:00

“Kati.. I want to watch a movie.. shall we go for LCMD?” I asked Kati who was sitting on the front bench ,we were in Java lecture.
I usually sat with sweetoo and kati. We 3 sat on a bench but today vidya was alone.so kati had to shift to her bench.
“Niviiiiiiiiiii.. we have LLaaaabbbb internals today afternoon” She whispered.
“I know.. but I am in no mood to attend it” I said.
Sweetoo who was sitting next to me asked me to sit quite as sir was noticing us,but then who cares?? We continued..
“Well.. I am also not in mood..” Kati said.
“hey you have good marks in Lab IA..rite??” sweetoo asked me.
“Not exactly… I have scored 20 in last IA” I said.
“Hmm. We have 3rd IA also we can actually bunk the labs..” sweetoo said.
“Are you people crazy??” Kati asked turning back to us.
Sir caught us. He asked us to keep quite. We decided we ll speak after the class. We were waiting for the class to end. I was atleast so restless when there were some 5-10 minutes for the class to get over.

“Ok.. so we going for the movie rite???” I asked after the class.
“well.. ok then.. lets go..” Kati agreed.
“Good.. but which one??” Sweetoo wanted to know the movie.
“Hmmm… how abt LCMD??” I said.
“LCMD??? Laga chunari mein daag??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You mad???? Its bbbbaaaaadddd movie” Sweetoo said.
“arey no.. its not all that bad.. you know that CS frnd of mine..” I had not even completed the sentence but sweetoo interrupted
“Who???? That Pandu?? Did he tell you that the movie is good?? If so then we NOT going for that movie okay.. I have told you now only..”
“Arrey yaar.. he said that the movie is watchable..” I said.
“Noways.. I am not going to trust him ok..” Sweetoo said.
“Please re Sweetoo… lets go no…. “ I tried to make her say yes..
“Wel.. theres no other movie released.. so we ll have to go to that movie only” Kati said.
“If that movie happens to be a torture.. I wont leave you see nivi..” Sweetoo said with anger.
“Ok baba.. shall we go?? Are we not getting late for the movie??” I asked.
“haan.. but ruko… we gotta call paggu n civil madam also no…” Sweetoo said.
“ya.. but they are in class.. “ Kati said.
We 3 girls were in IS dept and other 2 in different depts. So our break timings were different. I said to kati n sweetoo,
“I ll get paggu out of the class.. u get Shrado(civil madam)..”
“But how??” Kati asked…
“hmm.. say some lie ya.. ” I said and I went towords paggu’s dept.
Her class door was closed, I took all the courage and went to knock, I told to myself “1, 2, 3.. go..” uff!!! I couldn’t.. I came back..
I now collected all my courage+my frnz courage and counted..”1, 2.. 3.. Go!!!!”
I had knocked. Their sir opened the door, I made my face as if it was some serious matter.. I asked (with respect) “Excuse me sir, can you send Pragati for a minute??”
He asked, “what happened??”
“Sir.. for personal reasons..” I said and laughed to myself. I looked at paggu.. she looked so tensed when I said ‘personal reasons’ he he he..
He sent paggu out,
She asked me, “Nivi.. what happened?? What personal reason??” she really was tensed, she was getting all bad thoughts in her mind
“Arrey.. don’t worry.. nothing serious.. we were planning to go for Laga Chunari mein daag.. coming??” I replied..
“Whattttttttttt????????????? Pagal hai kya???????? U have ur lab i.a rite??” she thought I was crazy(ofcourse I was!!!!)
“Don’t worry about our IA.. Sweetoo and Kati are also coming, chal take ur bag n leave the class…” I hurried as we had very less time and we had to buy tickets also.
“Arrey my class is going on.. and that too Laga Chunari mein daag movie??” She was confused.
“Ya.. LCMD.. Come.. fast.. tell me seriously..are you interested in what he is teaching??? We are bunking our IA only.. for u its just a class.. chaloooooo” I said..
“Ok.. I am coming.. but what shall I tell sir??” she asked..
“Hmmmm.. Personal Reasons!!!!!!!” we both laughed!!!
She went and took her bag and came.. she said she had to leave urgently and the reason she gave was ‘Personal Reasons’(he he he rofl)
Kati, Sweetoo and Shrado(Civil Madam) were already in the car.
Me n Paggu joined and the car flew…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t ask me how was the movie as it was one of the Baaadddddddddd movies I had seen.. but off course with friends it was one of my very good days..
And next day we had to stand infront of HOD for half n hour and get the ‘maha-prasad’(scoldings) for bunking the IA.. hmmmm…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To my Friends,
Well… you all know how I behave when I feel very senti.. so imagine me like that.. with that senti face and telling you all.. Miss you all.. L
I really do…
Take care
Bye.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S : The Sand I walked on... is back in my shoes-1

It was the fear of acceptance that was bothering her...

2009-09-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

"Pehli baar mohobat ki hai..
Aakhari baar mohobat ki hai….
Thode ssss bheege bheege se,thode num hai hum..
Kal se sss soye-woye bhi toh kum hai hum sss”

Anu’s caller tune was singing and I was wondering wat was wrong with this girl as she wud pick up the call in max 5 rings..
She picked up the call “Hello..” She said.
“Hi.. wat took u so long to pick up the call???? Anyways.. u coming for shopping rite??? Me and sidd will meet u near central” I said.
“No nivi.. Me not coming.. u ppl go n come..” she said.. she sounded a little depressed.
“what happened anu?? U sound not-so-well.. any pblm??” I asked.
Anu I mean Ananya, is my friend. We were friends from our college days n now we work together.. she is a little suttle, silent, kind-of-introvert, you know one of those ‘sweet girls’, and ‘emotional/ senti’ type of girls.. She usually doesn’t take things seriously.. but if she takes, she’ll hurt herself mentally a lot.. she wud think over it again n again n get depressed n wud go to a ‘don’t-speak to-me-I-am-in-no-mood’ kind of phase.. now I think she was in such a phase..
I continued, ”Anu.. U there??? Wat happened?? Tell me..”
It was silent for some moments,then she spoke, “Nivi, can u come to my room??”
Well I cud feel the sensitivity of the issue she was going thru.. I said,”ya.. will be there in another half n hour.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Tell me anu.. wat happened??” I asked her.I was in her room. She looked very pale..as if she had not slept for few nights.. she looked exhausted n tired.. as if someone has sucked every drop of blood from her body.
“Well I dono how to start.. I know listening to it you ll think I am a physco, n in am crazy n I live in a fantasy world n all that.. ” she wanted to say something more.. I held her hands, looked into her eyes n said.. “tell me. Wat happened??”
“Nivi,I think I am falling for someone..” She said.
Well that was a kind of happy news for her.. offcourse not for me as I didn’t believe that something called as “LOVE” practically exists..but she was feeling lonely a lot these days.. she was in need of a company.. she wanted someone to love..
“Wow!!!!!! That’s nice… but wats the issue??? Y so sad??????” I asked.
“Well the pblm is I dono if he also likes me or not” She said.
Ahhaa!!! Girls.. They will never ever change I thought to myself.
“Hmmm.. right.. so u r depressed huh??? Girl.. when will u wake up??? Why don’t u go n ask him directly???” I said..
“Nivi.. its not that easy..” She said.
“I know I know.. Its not easy.. but its easier than mourning like this..” I said.“Nivi.. I am scared!!!” She said.
“Scared of wat?? Scared of being rejected??? Girl.. Atleast you ll know that he doesn’t love u.. atleast u r sure of ooonneeee thingggg” I said.
“Nivi.. I am not scared of rejection, It’s the fear of acceptance that’s bothering me..” she said.
Wow!!! That was something new.I had heard of ‘fear of rejection”, “fear of separation”, “fear of loosing loved ones” but this concept of “fear of acceptance” was really new to me.. I asked her..
“Anu.. wats that?? Tell me about that guy”
“He is a cousin of my frn Akshata,We met in her brothers wedding and now we know each other for almost 4 to 4 n a half years. He found me on Orkut and then we became friends and gradually we started calling each other. he wud call almost everyday.. we wud discuss books, movies, life, philosophy n everything under the sun. we hardly chatted as he used to not like chatting.. he preferred to ‘listen’ to me.. we had not seen each other for some 2 years.. and then one evening of October he gave me a surprise by coming down to the town.. we roamed, had dinner. But that time I didn’t not have any kind of feelings for him..” she was telling me her history..
I asked,”did he ever give a hint that he loves u or likes u??”
She said “Nivi.. I don’t remember.. all I remember is the discussions we had abt life,friendship, we wud also discuss abt love.. but love in general.. nothing related to him or me….. but I wud always wait for his call.. I liked to speak to him.. I liked his way of analyzing things,I adopted few too..” she continued..
I interrupted ,”Anu.. wat kind of a guy is he?? … is he of ur type??”
She looked at me and said..”That’s the pblm nivi.. He is not of my type.. he is totally different…”
I was confused.. how cud one fall for someone of not of your type.. specially someone totally different… I asked her the same thing.. she said,
“Nivi.. even I have thot of it a lot.. how can I fall in love with a guy who is so different from me.. but nivi.. I feel so insecure when he says he is with a girl who is a friend of his, every time he says he met one of his old frn(girl again), every time he writes abt someone or something abt love n all in his blog… I feel insecure, I feel left-out, denied.. I even thot that its just a feeling that u know.. comes n leaves.. buts its been a long time I am in this.. I don’t want to build up a dream around him just to realize he doesn’t like me…” she was silent for sometime… then she continued.. “Nivi.. The worst part is I am scared of he accepting me..” she stopped again.. She was now starring at the ground.A drop of tear just fell down.. she didn’t even make efforts to hide them.. she just let them flow..
I was sitting there not knowing what to say... I asked..
“Anu… U said he is different from you.. how is he different??? wats so different abt him?? I know usually guys are not as emotional as girls are, atleast not as much as you are.. They don’t live in the fantasy world as U do..” I wanted to say something but she cut it and said..
“Nivi,If were the one to live in the fantasy world I would have been scared of rejection instead of being accepted..” she gave me that ‘I-don’t-live-in –the-dreamworld??’ kind of look.
Well ya.. that was true.. she was practical enough to think about the matter.. but I didn’t know how was he different.. I said..
“Sorry!!! Hmmm.. Anu I know that U don’t live in that dreamworld.. but u imagine that kind of world.. and you are a kind of girl who knows the difference between reality and dreams.. So Anu.. wats the pblm?? If he is different from you U can adjust rite?? After all compromise is just another name of Life..”
“Nivi, well.. How do I tell you wat kind of a person he is…. Hmmm….. ok I ll tell you an incident.. Once I was really sad for something.. I was not able to express anything.. and I was depressed.. I called him and said that.. normally say If you call up Sidd and say that u are feeling low wat wud his reply be??” she asked me.
I said,”well he wud ask me wats wrong.. and “ I wanted to say something more but she inturrupted.. She said.. “right??? If not like girls console sidd wud atleast ask wats wrong?? Isn’t it??” She asked again..
I nodded agreeing to wat she said as guys usually take such things easily and max they cud do is to ask wat happened and then try to convince to it smoothly… they wud never try to console as girls do by going deep into the matter n stuff..
She said again..”But you know this guy said it directly that I was responsible for my own moods and its swings.... He could not help me it was upto me to come out of it or not.. If I really wanted to be out of that blue I wud come out myself. If I am seeking for some sympathy from him then he was sorry and he could not give sympathy for me as he felt it was totally my choice to be in that depression…!!!!” she sighed.
Wow!!!!!!!!!! That was something!!!!!!!!!!He was right.. but that was not that right way to tell it..specially to girls like Anu..I thot to myself..
“Anu.. “ I wanted to tell her something but she continued..
“Nivi. Its not that he is not emotional.. he is.. but he is not of those who wud compromise things and do something just to please you.... and trust me if we both are made to live together.. I will be the one to compromise most of the times and guess wat.?? I am OK with it... But I am confused..Nivi.. when I am with him I feel so good… I think that may be.. may be we can live together and live happily.. but everytime I speak to him on a call I realize the difference… what shall I do..I am confused.. I don’t want to live with this feeling.. I tried a lot to over come nivi.. a lot.. but its just not possible.. I get possessive abt him.. Its easy to get rejected.. but I dono wat if he agrees n wat next and still somewhere I have a hope that he will know what I am going through.... will I be able make a good partner to him?? Will I be able to live happily with all compromises?? Will I be able to live with the person who is not of my type?? Who is rude at times.. and not the one who keeps patting on my back..???” Now she was making efforts to control her tears.. I now understood wat she meant by ‘the fear of acceptance’..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dono wat to tell her.. I have no answer to her question.. But I got a wrenching feeling inside my heart looking at her.. she was really in pain.. from both the sides it was pain for her.. even if he rejected or if he accepted.. She really had fallen for a different guy..
I didn’t know wat to say.. I was silent.. I just held her hand.. pressed it to assure that everything will be alright… but… I dono how things were gonna sort out for her.. I wished he could read her mind and understand her dilemma.. or just he would say he loved her to and he wud understand her and value her…
Hmmm….Now.. I realized why they say girls dream a lot…..

From:MeTo:USubject: Hi..

2009-08-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Book Center

Hi Sidd.
U had asked abt a book center.. Hmm.. No there are no book centers here near my office nor near my PG.. but u have swapna book house in indiranagar, domloor. btw v meeting for dinner today rite??

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject:Re: Re:Book Center

Well Niv,
I am sorry. I am not coming today.
Priya had called and she expects me to have dinner with her and
I cant deny. U know.. She is soooo... well.. she is hot!!!!!
Anyway Niv on this occasion of FRIENDSHIP DAY I want to say you thanks for being my Friend.
Thank you. thanks a lot.I am proud to be your Friend
Take care all the time.
Keen to meet you this weekend.
bye.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Huh!!!!!!!

Sidd..
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How professional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop sending such PROFESSIONAL,POLITICAL and DIPLOMATIC mails, that r full of formalities................
Are you serious u gonna miss dinner with me.. Ur Best frn?? on friendship day??? Just for that wack-wack-wack girl?? I dont beleive this.. Go ahead.. HAVE A NICE DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I ll not forgive you for this one.. believe me on this..)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Niv....

haha ..................
hahahahahaha..............................
i knew you would reply like this..........................
hmmmm.........anyway i mean it niv.
mattenu hengatu ninne oota?(Kannada:How was your dinner yesterday night??)
wht was the special for the dinner?
any special news?
yappa.. yest we finished dinner around 10.30 and when i reached room it was around 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Niv....

wat hahahahaha.................
anyways.. yest even i reached my PG @ 11 only.. had a nice time at my
brothers place. Attige had cooked very nice food.. n gulaab jamoon.. my
favourite,I must have gulped some 15-16.. it was nice.. one of my brothers relative was there.. he is doing his CA final(or wat ever they call it) He is 2005 B.Com pass out.. chatted wit him.. well I guess I can take a chance :-P (but he is just 1 year elder to me ) but I dont think he is of my type.. he seemed to be one of those quite a descent and VERY GOOD guys.. and U know how chattar-pattar n talkative I am..and more over I dont think he was impressed by me.. But anyways we exchanged the nos..
Lets see if he communicates (Though I think he ll not!!!! And Noways I am gonna start).. So that was special for yest.. wat abt ur dinner with that wack-wack-wack girl????????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.. Niv..
thats good.keep one thing in mind.
boys always pretend to be descent when they meet girls for the first time.
so you cant think him as " not of your type ".
anyway good luck.
But shall i tell you something serious niv?
love should happen naturally. dont try for it. let it go.
You will surely get some one in your life.............
Well ..........about my dinner with Priya(She is not wack-wack-wack-girl) was soooo.. uhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! She was looking.. wow!!!!!!!!!!
Hey niv yest that girl had called me again.............................

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re:Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhu Uhuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody is in demand!!!!!!!!! naa na na naa na naa na na naa
na............. he he he... wat did she say?? btw u know the theory of demand??(that guy yest told me..actually enlightened me abt
this... he is from commerce background U c....) Theory of Demend says..
"When the demand increases,price decreases (or increases i am
confused!!!!)"
So u are in demand that means ur price is decreasing........ I am not in
demand which means I am very much valuable.... ha ha ha.. anyways wat did she say?? did she say.."siddharth!!! iss janam mein main tumhaari
girlfriend/patni/jeevan saathi nahi ban saki.. issi liye iss janam mein
main tumhaari dost banjaati huun.. agle janam mein mein phir se try
karoongi???" he he he rotl......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Theory of demand

hmmm
You wanna know the actual theory of demand.
I am trained in suppy chain management for one and half months in London..
See when demand increases if you supply to the rate of demand then only
price decreases.But if you supply at your own pace or if you dont supply your demand still increases and you will be under the focus light.
Understood ....................and hope you can apply to our
case........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well she said she is comfortable in sharing the things with me and she
likes my approach.and she wants to continue sharing the things with me as a FRIEND.
I said i need some time to think.
Lets see how the story proceeds...................
By the way whats his name?????????????

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Theory of demand

Well.. I didnt get a word u said abt that theory.. anyways.. Its ok to be
friend.. but u never know.. girls I tell u.. she may still be hoping that
some day u ll understand her feelings n all that stuff.. So If you say
that u can be friends and u dont want to end up liking that girl.. then
see to it that u r JUST FRIENDS.. but if u r open to the option of liking
her sometime in ur life.. then let her be ur frn n share things wit u..
and abt me.. I dont know his name.. probably its something I know.. but trust me sidd I m not interested, i m just kidding abt this.. Just u know.. trying to.. well...leav it.
But that guy was cute.. his name was something like vinod?? Vivek?? or something like that... He did open up a bit.. he was chatting too.. I was totally myself.. all naughty, chattar pattar.. u know.. Just me..
He is gonna be here in blore for quite a while.. but till now.. he didnt
msg or anything like that.. (not that I am expecting!!!)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hey buddy...

Hey Niv..
Y so serious suddenly??? wats wrong?? I am not gonna get into any relationship now..and u know that.. anyways.. Thanks for that “MUFT KA GYAN” Btw.. have a news for u..
Swati Rai had called me day b4 yest.
She talked so much that she never talked so much with me in the past,
dont know everything seeming so much funny....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Hey buddy...

Wellllllllllllllll.........................
Somebody Is really In demand.... Uhu Uhu!!!! someone wants to share things wit u, somebody else speaks to u as if she had never spoken before.. aha............ wats th matter buddy????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Beard shaved!!!!

hmmmmmmm...................
ha ha ..................
some time every thing around seems to be so funny.
anyway trust me..i wont do anything like you ( Such as making somebody shave his beard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................)
i am trying to set other priorities in my life and i wanna get involved in
those.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Beard shaved!!!!

Well............ I didnt ASK/FORCE him to shave it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U get
That??? anyways all the best to u...set ur priorities n all that stuff...
now.. will u let me work???? I got a target to meet....
HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People these days I say......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Ok.....

hmmmmmmmm
madu madu
all the best for your cut - copy -paste ...........................
hmmm......carry on niv...
will c u on week-end(Hope u dont get a date with Mr.Vinod-Vivek-or whatever-his-name-is till then so that I dont have to spend my week end alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Bye...

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ-2..

2009-07-06T02:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Dreamboy ,

ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ನಲಾ.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದದ ಹಸಿರು.. ಒಂದ್ ಥರಾ ಚಳಿ.. ಹನಿ ಹನಿಸೊ ಎಲೆ, ದಾಸವಾಳ, ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ ಕಮಲ.. ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಆಗೋ ಕಾಡು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ.. ಕಪ್ಪು ಆಕಾಶ.. well.. ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟ ಕಣೋ.. ತುಂಬಾ!!! ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಬಾವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ನೀರು ತುಂಬಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ನಾನು ಬಾವಿಯಿಂದಾ ನೀರು ತರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಜಾರಿ ಬಿದ್ದು.. ಬೇಡ ಅವಾಂತರ.. ಆದ್ರೂ ನಂಗೆ ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಇಷ್ಟ.

ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್!!! ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಚಂದ?? ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ನೀನು!! ೪ ಹನಿ ಬಿದ್ರೂ ನಿನಗೆ ಜೋರು ಮಳೆ ಬಿದ್ದಂಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ನಿಂಗೆ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ಊರಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ಕಾಲುದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸಬೇಕು, ಪಾಚಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿರೋ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಬೀಳಬೇಕು (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ), ಗದ್ದೆ ನೆಟ್ಟಿ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಆವಾಗ ನಿನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದು ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಿಸಿ, ಒಂದು ಹಾಳೆ ಟೊಪ್ಪಿ ಹಾಕಿ, ಗದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡತೀನಿ.. ಪಿಚ ಪಿಚ ಅನ್ನೋ ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ಮಜ ಬರುತ್ತೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಮತ್ತೆ ಉಂಬಳ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ.. (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ) ಹೆದರ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ?? ಹೆದರಬೇಡಪ್ಪಾ.. ಹಾಗೆ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ತಮಾಷೆ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೆ..

ಆದ್ರೂ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದಾ ಅಲ್ವೇನೋ?? ಬೆಳ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಎದ್ದ ಕೂಡಲೆ ಬಚ್ಚಲು ಮನೆಯ ಒಲೆಯ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಕಾಯಿಸೋದು,.. btw..you know wat?? ನಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲಲ್ಲಿ ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ಒಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಇರುತ್ತೆ.. ಹಂಡ್ಯಾದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಸಿ ಬಿಸಿ ನೀರು.. wow!!its so nice..!!! ಮತ್ತೆ ಗೇರು-ಪೀಕ, ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಬ್ಯಾಳೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟು ತಿನ್ನೋದು.. ಕರಕ್ಲಿ, ಕಟ್ಣೆ, ಚಕ್ಕೆ ಪೊಳದ್ಯಾ..ಊಮ್ಮ್... ನನ್ನ ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಬರ್ತಾ ಇದೆ.. ಒಹ್!! ನಿನಗೆ ಕರಕ್ಲಿ- ಕಟ್ಣೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ವಾ.. ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು ನಾನೇ ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಮಾಡಿ ತಿನ್ನಿಸ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಯ್ತಾ??

Btw ನಿಂಗೆ ಚೊರಟೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಅದಕ್ಕೆ englishನಲ್ಲಿ ಏನಂತಾರೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ಊಮ್ಮ್.. ನಂಗೆ ಈಗ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಹಸ್ರಪದಿ ಅಂತಾ ಕೂಡಾ ಹೇಳತಾರೆ ನೋಡು.. ಅದನ್ನ ಮುಟ್ಟಿದ್ರೆ ಅದು ಚಕ್ಲಿ ಥರಾ ಮುದುರಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ..ಅದು.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಇದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಹತ್ರಾ??ನಾನಂತು ಅದರ ಜೊತೆ ಆಡಿ-ಆಡಿ ಇಟ್ಟೆ ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ..

ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಮಲೆನಾಡಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗೆ ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗಿದ್ರೆ..ಆಹ್!! ಎನು ಸುಖ!! btw ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಛಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಾನು ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ ಎಷ್ಟು ಛಳಿ ಇತ್ತು ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ನಾನು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಮಲಗೋವಾಗ.. 2 ಕಂಬಳಿ,1 ದುಪಡಿ, 1 ಹೊದಿಕೆ, ಮೇಲ್ಗಡೆಯಿಂದಾ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಒಂದು ಹಳೇ ಸೀರೆ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗತಿದ್ದೆ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಾಗ್ತಿತ್ತು.." ಅಷ್ಟೇನಾ ??"ಅಂತಾ ಟೀಕೆ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡಾ ನೀನು.. ಹೇಳ್ದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ ನಾನು ನಿಂಗೆ.. ನನಗೆ ಚಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ..

ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು.. ಮತ್ತೇನು?? ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡ್ತೀರಾ?? ಎನೇನು special ಅಡಿಗೆ ಇರುತ್ತೆ?? ಹೇಳೋ.. plz.. ಅದೇನು ಮುಖ ಊದಿಸಿ ಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತಿದೀಯಾ?? ಒಹ್!! ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ಅಂತಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಕರೆದೆ ಅಂತಾನಾ?? ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್ಮ್!!!! ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರನ್ನಾ ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರು ಅಂತಾ ಕರಿಯದೆ ಮತ್ತೇನು ಕರೀಲಿ?? ಸರಿಯಪ್ಪಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ’ಮಂಡು’ ಅನ್ನಲ್ಲಾ.. Happy??

ಸರಿ.. ಈಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳು.. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ.. ಕಾಯ್ತಾ ಇದೀನಿ..

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ??

2009-07-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ

ಕತ್ತಲಲಿ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದು?

ನೂರು ಮಾತಲ್ಲೂ.. ಮೌನವನ್ನೇ ನುಡಿಸಿದ್ದು?

ಎದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಅಡಗಿದ್ದು,

ನೆನಪ ನೆಪ ಮಾಡಿ ಬಂದೆ.. ಅಲ್ಲವೆ?

ಗಂಟಲ ನರ ಬಿಗಿಯಿತು,

ಕಣ್ಣಂಚಲಿ ಕಂಬನಿ ಹನಿಯಿತು,

ಕ್ಷಣ ಕ್ಷಣವೂ ದಿನ ದಿನವೂ

ದೂರ ಮಾಡಿದಷ್ಟೂ..

ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬರುವೆಯಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬರಡಾದೆ ನಾನು,

ಬರಬೇಡ..

ಯಾವ ನೆಪವನೂ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ..

ವಸಂತನಪ್ಪುವ ಮನಸಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿನ್ನೋಡನೀಜಿ ದಡ ಸೇರಲಾರೆ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೋ ಬಂದು, ಸವರಿ ನೆಡೆವ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೋ ಹರಿದು,ಕೊರೆದು ದಡವ, ಭೋರ್ಗರೆವ ಕಡಲಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಆದಿ ನಿನಗೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಂತ್ಯ??

ಇರುವಷ್ಟೂ ಹೊತ್ತು..

ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲ ನವೆಗೊಳಿಸಿ, ಹದ ಹದವಾಗಿ ಸುಟ್ಟು ನುಂಗುವುದು

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಪೂರ್ವದಿಂದ ಪಡುವಣಕೆ ಸಾಗುವ ರವಿ

ಕತ್ತಲ ನೀಗಿ ಬೆಳಕ ಬೀರುವನೋ,

ಬೆಳಕ ನೆಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಕತ್ತಲ ತರುವನೋ...

ತಿಳಿದವರಾರು??

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೂ ಅಷ್ಟೆ!!!

ಚಿತ್ತದಿಂದ ಹೋರಬಂದು ನೋಯಿಸುವುದೋ..

ನೋಯಿಸಲೆಂದೇ ಹೊರಬರುವುದೋ..

ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ!!!

ದಟ್ಟ ಕಾಡಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಹಗಲು??

ಕಡಲ ಗರ್ಭಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಬೆಳಕು?

ರವಿಯೂ ಕಾಣದಾದ..

ನಲಿವು,ಗೆಲುವು ಬರಿಯ ಮರೀಚಿಕೆ..

ನಾನು-ನೀನು ವಿಧಿಯ ಚಿತ್ರದಲಿ ಮುಗಿದು ಹೋದ ಸಂಚಿಕೆ..

ತಿಳಿದೂ ಕಾಲವ ಹಿಂದಕೆಳೆವ ಬಯಕೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಬಣಗುಡುವ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ದನಿಮೂಡಿಸುವಾಸೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

2009-06-14T06:27:00.000-07:00

ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಇದೆ.. ಕಾಡತಾ ಇದೆ ಅನ್ನೋದಕ್ಕಿಂತಾ ತುಂಬಾ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆ.

"ಕ್ರಿಷ್ಣ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ? "

I agree.. that ಅವನಿಗೆ ಮಥುರೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತು n all that.. ಆದ್ರೂ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಅವನು ಆಮೇಲಾದ್ರೂ ಬಂದು ಮದುವೆ ಆಗಬಹುದಿತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ಮದುವೆ ಆಗದೆ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ದು ಸರಿನಾ?? ರಾಧೆ ಅವನನ್ನ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿರಬಹುದು ಅಲ್ವಾ?? They give examples of their Love.. ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ಲು ಅವನನ್ನ..ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಅವನು ಬಿಟ್ಟುಹೋದಾಗ... ಅಲ್ವಾ??

ಯಾಕೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದ ಅವನು?? 16000 ಹೆಂಗಸರನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಯಾದ.. just ಅವರಿಗೆ ಸಮಾಜದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಥಾನ ಕೊಡಸೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅವನನ್ನ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ??

ಯಾಕೆ??

The reverie..

2009-06-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

“Are you for real??” She asked him.

“Yess.... I am for real.. but why did you ask??” He asked her looking into her eyes, he had loved them always.. he loved the way they looked at him, questioned him, admired him, cared for him, at times spoke soooo much… and at sometimes the way they were so silent.. the way there was some mystery hidden in them, the way they blinked, shared feelings.. well he adored them.. they were beautiful..brown.. honey brown in color. He could see his own reflection in them .. everytime.. they were beautiful.. just the way she was!!

“Because.. Because you are so.. soo… so perfect!!” she thought of the days they spent together. Days that became months, and months.. years.. they were together, loving each other more and more every passing day. But now, they had to leave. she some how felt that those days were not true, all the happy times were just her dreams.. Because they were just like her dreams..beautiful!! she would many times fear to wake up and find that she is alone.. But all the wonderful days were true, the happy times were true.

He held her in his arms, close to his heart and said,”No.. I am not perfect.. not atleast without you..”
She wanted the time to stop,she wanted to be in his arms, she wanted him to speak to her, to listen, to be silent, to keep looking at her,she wanted him for ever and ever.

She felt secured in his arms.She noticed it for the first time, he was very tall to her… she could hardly reach his shoulders. they looked beautiful together.

He whispered,”Hey, honey.. Don’t worry.. I ll be there.. You ll never loose me..” He had understood her fears.She was lost in his perfume, She wanted to remember it for the rest of her life.She dropped a tear,it wet his chest and his heart.

“I am scared.. I have this feeling.. I feel as if this is going to be our last meeting.. I ll go crazy.. God!! What will I do without you??”She said and tightened her hug. She wanted to be locked in his arms like that forever..

He tightened his arms around her till he could not tighten more.He kissed her forehead.He held her close again.He had said everything she wanted to hear. She kissed his heart..she loved his aroma, she many times wanted to wear his skin, crawl into his veins and feel his soul.. she loved the feeling of his touch, the warmth of his when he held her hand, the pace of his breathing.. she loved him.

She was still in his arms, she asked “Will you remember me??”

He released her, gave her a smile, winked and said”Wanna bet??”

She narrowed her eyes and said,”That means you wanna forget me.. huh??”

He put his arms around her shoulder and said..” No.. I was kidding.. and in the first place.. we are going to be together for the rest of our lives.. we will have our own home, our children, grand children.. we will love each other more and more.. people will give examples of our love..”

She hugged him again,pulled him close.. very close..”But I am feeling.. I am getting this weird feeling.. I don’t want to live without you..”She kissed him,she kissed him again.. she wanted to kiss him till the end. She wanted to remember that day,she wanted to remember the color of his shirt, color of his skin,the color of the wall, the wood of the table, the design of the window screen,the music,the flowers,the gifts,the kisses, the hugs, tears, smiles,the sigh in his breathe,the warmth of his presence.. everything.. every damn thing..

And then.. It was time.. time to leave..He had to leave..
He left. He didn’t take his eyes off her.He wanted to fill all his life with her.. he wanted her to know that he loved her,he cared for her,he wanted her to complete him and he wanted to complete her,he wanted her to know that he ll be there for her everytime she needed,he would stand by her, by her dreams, by her ambitions.. He loved her, he would love her forever.

He said,”I love you.. I ll love you forever”
She hugged him..this time with all her strength and as though they would never meet again.. she said,”Don’t forget me..”
He left.

She stood there,She wanted sometime to realize that he was gone.. she wanted to feel his aroma, his touch.. She felt empty,She felt blank,She felt void,scared,alone.. She stood there looking all over the walls where his shadow once fell looking down the floor where he had walked.. she wanted to block the wind in the room,she wanted to keep his breathe with her forever..
She stood there looking at him leave..

“tere bina jiya jaaye na..
tere bina jiya jaaye na
bin tere tere bin saajana
saans mein saans aaye na
tere bina…”

ನಾನು ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ...

2009-05-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

"ನಿಮ್ಮಿ.. ಅಲ್ ನೋಡು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಯ... ಯಂತಾ ತಂಜಾ ಹೇಳಿ.." ಜಗಲಿಯಿಂದಾನೇ ಅಮ್ಮ ನನ್ನ ಕರೆದ್ರು.
ಸಂಜೆ ಸುಮಾರು 7-7:30 ಆಗಿರಬಹುದು.ನಾನು ಒಳಗೆ ಅನ್ನಕ್ಕಿಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೆ. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ತೋಟದಿಂದಾ ಬರೋ ಹೋತ್ತು. ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ತೊಟಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದಾಗ್ಲೂ ಏನಾದ್ರೂ ತರತಾರೆ. ಮುಳ್ಳೇ ಹಣ್ನ್ seasonನಲ್ಲಿ ಮುಳ್ಳೇ ಹಣ್ಣು, ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಕರ್ಕ್ಲಿ ಸೊಪ್ಪು, ಕಟ್ಣೇ ಸೊಪ್ಪು, ಬಾಳೇ ಕಾಯಿ ದಿಂಡಿಗೆ, ಕಳಲೆ.. ಹೀಗೇ.. ಹಾಗಾಗೇ ನಾವು ಪೇಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ರೂ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ..
ಈ ಸಲಾನೂ ಏನಾದ್ರೂ ತಂದಿರಬಹುದು ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದ್ಕೊಂಡು ನಾನೂ," ಯಂತು ಅಮ್ಮಾ?? ತಡಿ ಬಂದಿsss" ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಅನ್ನಕ್ಕಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರಗೆ ಬಂದು ನೋಡಿದ್ರೆ ಒಂದು ದೊಡ್ದ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು. ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ದದಾಗಿತ್ತು ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು. ನಾನೂ ಅದರ size ನೋಡಿ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಪಟ್ಟೆ.. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ನಾವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಪದೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ರು..
ನಾನಂದೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಹತ್ರ,"ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ, ಇಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಹಣ್ಣು ಯಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮ್ಮನೆ ತ್ವಾಟದಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗಿತ್ತ? ಯಾನಮ್ನಿ ದೊಡ್ಕಿದ್ದೋ ಮಾರಯಾ. ನೀ ಇದನ್ನ ಹೊತ್ಗ-ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ಸಾಕು ನೋಡು" ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ," ಹೌದೆ.. ನಮ್ಮನೆ ತ್ವಾಟದ್ದೇಯಾ.. ಇಷ್ಟ ಸಲ ಹಣ್ಣಾದ್ರೂವಾ ಮಂಗಂದಿಕ್ಕ ಹಾಳ ಮಾಡ್ಬುಡತಿದ್ವೆ ಮಾರಾಯ್ತಿ.. ನಿಂಗ ಮಕ್ಕ ಬಂದಾಗ ತಿಂಬಲಾಗ್ತು ಹೇಳಿ ಈ ಸಲ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಮಿಳ್ಳೇ ಆದಗ್ಲೇಯಾ ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿಟ್ಟಿದಿದ್ದಿ.. ಆದ್ರೂವಾ ಸುಮಾರು ಹಾಳ ಮಾಡದ ಮಂಗಂದಿಕ್ಕ.. ಒಂದೆರಡೇನೋವಾ ಹಂಗೆ ಇತ್ತು.. ಇವತ್ತು ಗಣಪತಿ ಹತ್ರ ಮರ ಹತ್ಸಿ ಕೊಯ್ಷಕ್ಯ ಬಂಜಿ.. ಹೊಡಿರಿ.. ಇವತ್ತು ಊಟವೇ ಬ್ಯಾಡ.." ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಉತ್ಸಾಹ ನೋಡಿ ನಂಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಖುಷಿಯಾಯ್ತು.
ನಾನು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಗೆ ಹೇಳ್ದೆ, "ಆದ್ರೂವಾ ನೀನು ಇಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡದಾ ಹೊತ್ಗ ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ಸಾಕು. ಬಸ್ಸಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ್ದೇ ವಾಸನೆಯಾಗಿಕ್ಕು, ಯಲ್ಲವೂ ಯಷ್ಟ್ ಬೈಕ್ಯಡ್ವೇನ, ಅಲ್ದಾ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ. ಇದು ಬಕ್ಕೆ ಹಣ್ಣ, ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣ?"
"ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣೇಯಾ.. ಯನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜ ಕಡಬು ಮಾಡಲೆ ಆಗ್ತು ಹೇಳಿ, ಯಾವ್ದೋ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಮತ್ಯಾವ್ದೋ ಮರದ್ದ ಕಸೆ ಮಾಡಿಸಿದಿದ್ದ.. ನೋಡಲಕ್ಕಡಾ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪೇ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಾ ಸ್ವಾರೆ ಇಲ್ಲೆ. ಸೋಯ್ ಸಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಯಷ್ಟ್ ಅರಾಮು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ.." ಹೀಗೇ ಮತ್ತೇನನ್ನೋ ಹೆಳುವವರಿದ್ರು, ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು,
"ವೋ.. ಯಾನೇನು ಕೈ ಮ್ಯಾಣ ಮಾಡ್ಕ್ಯಳಂವಲ್ಲಾ.. " ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಆಗ ಅಮ್ಮ,"ಕೈ ಮ್ಯಾಣ ಮಾಡ್ಕ್ಯಳದಿದ್ರೆ ಹಣ್ನಿಲ್ಲೆ.. ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೆ ಕಡಿ ಮಾಡಿ ಕೊಡ್ತಿ, ಯಾರ್ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಬೇಕ ಅವ್ವ್ ಅವ್ವು ಯಣ್ಣೆ ಹಚ್ಕ್ಯಂಡು ಸೋಯ್ಸ್ಕ್ಯಮಲಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲೆ.." ಅಂದ್ರು. ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲೇ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಕೈ ಕಾಲು ಮುಖ ತೊಳಕೊಂಡು ಬರೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದ್ರು. ಅಮ್ಮ ಮೆಟಗತ್ತಿ ಮಣೆ ತಗೊಂಡು ಆ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು ಬಗೆಯಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದ್ರು.
ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಒಂದು ದೊಡ್ದ ಪಾತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ತೆಂಗಿನ ಎಣ್ಣೆ, ಉಪ್ಪು, ಹುಳಿ, ಹಶಿ ಮೆಣಸಿನ ಖಾರ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ತಂದ್ರು. ಅಮ್ಮಾ ಇನ್ನೇನು ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ನನ್ನ ಬಗೀತಾ ಇದ್ರು ಅನ್ನೋವಾಗ್ಲೇ ನಾನು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ attack ಮಾಡಿದ್ವಿ.. ಉಮ್ಮ್.. ಆ ಮೆತ್ತ ಮೆತ್ತ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಸ್ವಾಳೆ, ಉಪ್ಪು-ಖಾರ-ಹುಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದ್ದಿಕೊಂಡು ತಿನ್ನೋದು.. ಆಹ್!!! ವಾಹ್!! ಏನ್ ರುಚಿ... ನಮ್ಮ ಹತ್ರ ಪೂರ್ತಿ ಹಣ್ಣು ಖಾಲಿ ಮಾದೋಕಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆ, ಪ್ರೇಮಾ ಆಂಟಿ, ಸೌರಭ, ಮಾಮ ಎಲ್ಲರನ್ನೂ ಕರೆದ್ವಿ.. ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಸೇರಿ ಆ ಹಣ್ಣನ್ನ ತಿಂದು ಮುಗಿಸುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ.. ಅಬ್ಬಾ.. ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು..
ಅಮ್ಮಾ ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರು, "ಯಾರೂ ಬೇಜ ವಗ್ಯಡಿ ಮತ್ತೆ.. ಪೊಳದ್ಯಾ ಮಾಡಲೆ ಬತ್ತು".
ನಾನು "ಅಮ್ಮಾ, ನಾಳೇನೇ ಮಾಡೆ ಅಮ್ಮಾ" ಅಂದೆ.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಮ್ಮ,"ನಾಳೆ ಮಾಡಲೆ ಬತ್ತಿಲ್ಯೆ.. ಆ ಬೀಜ ಎಲ್ಲ ಹನೀ ಒಣಗವು..ಕಡಿಗೆ ಮಾಡ್ರೆ ಚೊಲೋ ಆಗ್ತು, ಮೊದಲೇ ಒಣಗಿಸಿದ್ದು ಬೀಜ ಇದ್ದು.. ನಾಳೆ ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೆ ಅದರದ್ದು ಮಾಡನ" ಅಂದ್ರು.. well.. ನನ್ನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಆ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ರುಚೀನೇ ತಿರಗ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು.. ಎಂಥಾ ಹಣ್ಣು.. ವಾಹ್!!

ಒಂದು wish, ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ, ಉತ್ತರ...

2009-05-02T03:44:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary!! ಇವತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ-ಅಮ್ಮನವರ 24th anniversary,1 year away from Silver jubliee.. 24 ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಇವತ್ತಿನ ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ bachealor degree ಕಳಕೊಂಡ್ರು.. and ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ Master degree ಪಡಕೊಂಡ್ರು :-) ...Wow!! 24.. 24 long years.. Long ಸರಿಯಾದ ಶಬ್ದ ಅಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ. ಯಾಕಂದ್ರೆ..they are still so young.. ಅವರ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಹೊಸ ಕನಸುಗಳು ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಚಿಗುರುತ್ತಾನೇ ಇವೆ. ಇಪ್ಪತ್ನಾಲ್ಕು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಕಂಡ ಕನಸುಗಳನ್ನ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೇ ನನಸಾಗಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ.. ಅವುಗಳು ನಿಜವಾದಾಗ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೇ ಖುಷಿಪಟ್ತಿದ್ದಾರೆ, ಯಾರಿಗಾದರು ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ ನೋವಾದರೆ ಮತ್ತೊಬ್ಬರು ಆ ನೋವನ್ನ ಹಂಚಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ.. ಸಿಟ್ಟು ನೆತ್ತಿ ಏರಿದಾಗ ಒಬ್ಬರನ್ನೊಬ್ಬರು ಸಹಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ, ಸಹಕರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ, well.. ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳೋದಾದರೆ.. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಗೆ ಹಾಗಲಕಾಯಿ ಇಷ್ಟ ಅಂತಾ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅದರ ಅಡಿಗೆ ಮಾಡ್ತಾರೆ, ತಿಂತಾರೆ(ಅಮ್ಮಂಗೆ ಹಾಗಲಕಾಯಿ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಅಷ್ಟಕ್ಕಷ್ಟ್ಟೇ!!) and ಅಮ್ಮಂಗೆ ಬದನೆಕಾಯಿ ಇಷ್ಟ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಬದನೆಕಾಯಿ ತರೋದನ್ನೇ ಕಡ್ಮೆ ಮಾಡಿದಾರೆ..(ಹೆ ಹೆ ಹೆ!!! )so.. they have shared each other for 24 years.. Long enough to get addicted..

So.. now today when I sit here writing this post.. I get this thought in my mind..How Do you decide "This is The ONE FOR ME"?? ಅಂತಾ.. Then I debate with myself for and against 'LOVE MARRIAGE' and 'ARRANGED MARRIAGE' ..ಕಡೆಗೂ ಯಾವುದೇ conclusion ಅಂತಾ ಸಿಗಲ್ಲ.. But.. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ- ಅಮ್ಮನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ, ಅದೇನೋ ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಸಿಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಒಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು ಬರುತ್ತೆ.. ಒಂದು smile ತನ್-ತಾನೇ ಜಾರುತ್ತೆ.. That moment I agree.. I agree with people who say.. "MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN"!!!
Congratulations ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ- ಅಮ್ಮ.

ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ

2009-04-12T23:09:00.000-07:00

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡಿಗೆಗೆ,
ನೆರಳ ಜೊತೆ

ಕುರುಡು ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹಣತೆ

ಕನಸುಗಳೋ, ನೆನಪುಗಳೋ...

ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ ತಿಳಿಯದಷ್ಟು ಮಸುಕು

ಎತ್ತ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ

ಹರುಕು-ಮುರುಕು ಬದುಕು

ನೆನೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಕಂಬನಿಗೇನೂ ಬರವಿಲ್ಲ

ಹಿಡಿ-ಮುಷ್ಠಿಯಷ್ಟು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೆದುರು ನಿಂತರೂ ಬಿಂಬವಿಲ್ಲ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ ಭರವಸೆ

ಆಸರೆಯಾಗಬೇಕಿದ್ದ ಕನಸಿಗೇ ನಿಶ್ಶಕ್ತಿ

ಗುನುಗುನಿಸಲೂ ಹಾಡಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿರ್ಭಾವದ ವಿರಕ್ತಿ.

ಪ್ರಶ್ನಿಸಬೇಕೇನು??

ಉತ್ತರವೇ ಬೇಡ..

ಬೇಡಬೇಕೇನು??

ನಡೆಯುವುದು ನಡೆಯಲಿ..

ಉಳಿದರೆ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿಕೊಂಡರಾಯಿತು..

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ಲೆಕ್ಕ

ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೂ ಬಾಯಾರಿಕೆ

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಅದೆಂತದೋ ಕನವರಿಕೆ.

ಮಾತು ತೊದಲುವ ಮುನ್ನ

ಮೌನವಾದರೆ ಸಾಕು

ಉಳಿದದ್ದು ನಡೆದ ಗುರುತಿಗೆ

ಜೊತೆಯಾದ ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ.

ಗೆಳೆಯಾ...Cry me a river..please..

2009-04-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

ಅಳಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ ನಾನು.. ನಿನ್ನ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ, ಮರೆಯಲಿಕ್ಕಾಗ್ತಾಇಲ್ಲದಿರೊದಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. ಒಟ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ದಿನಗಟ್ಟಲೆ,ವಾರಗಟ್ಟಲೆ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತು ಅಳಬೇಕು..
I remember somebody telling me.."you are sad because you have choosen to be." I dont want to be sad like this. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅತ್ತು ಮುಗಿಸಿಬಿಡಬೇಕು. ತುಂಬಾ ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಖುಷಿಯ ಋಣವೆಲ್ಲ ತೀರುವಷ್ಟು..
Anyways ನಾವು ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ಕ್ಷಣಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ..ನಿನ್ನೆದಗೊರಾಗಿ ನಾನಿಟ್ಟ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರ ಬಿಸಿ ಇನ್ನೂ ಆರಿಲ್ಲ..ಆ ಊರಿನ ದಾರಿಗಳೂ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಮಳೆ, ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ಮೇಲಿನ ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಗಂಧ, ಆ ಆಟದ ಮೈದಾನದ ಕಟ್ಟೆ, long walkಗಳು, long rideಗಳು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವುದೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ..

ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಂದ ಆ ಗುಲಾಬಿ ಗುಚ್ಛ, ನೂರಾರು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಹಮ್ಮ್.. ಆ ನವಿಲುಗರಿ,ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಪುಕ್ಕ, ಒಂದಷ್ಟು keychainಗಳು,bracelets,ear-rings.. ಅಷ್ಟೆ.. ಅವುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಒಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕಿ ಬಿಸಾಕೋದು ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕೆಲಸ ಅಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಆ ಹೂಗಳನ್ನ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಇಟ್ಟ್ ಕೊಂಡಿದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ಒಂದು ಎಸಳೂ ಉದಿರಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಬಿಸಾಕಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ..

ನಿನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ನಾನು ಬರೆದ ಕವನಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಒಂದು dairy ಅಷ್ಟೇ!! ಅದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟುಬಿಡೋವಾಗ ಜೀವ ಹೋಗುವಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗುತ್ತೇನೋ.. ಸುಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕ್ತೀನಿ..

ನನ್ನ cellನಲ್ಲಿರೋ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು photoಗಳು, ಹಾಡುಗಳು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇನೋ.. backgroundನಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಹಾಡನ್ನ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು, photosನ slideshow ಮಾಡಿ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡೋದು,ನಗೋದು,ಕಾಡೋದು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ??ಆ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.. enriqueನ "Somebody is me", Omkara-"Oo.. saathi re" ,Bryan Adams, Mltr-"Blue night" , Jab we met-"Tum se hi",Shaggy-"Angel"..ಆಹ್!! Its a never ending list.. ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ.. specially, ನೀನು ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಹಾಡಿದ್ಯಲಾ.."Tu hi meri Shaba hai.." well..delete ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ.

ನಿನಗಿಷ್ಟವಾದ ಚೂಡಿದಾರ್,ದುಪಟ್ಟಾ, bags,clips, tea mugs.. ಯಾರಿಗಾದ್ರೂ ಕೊಟ್ಟಬಿಡತೀನಿ..what am I saying??ಅಹ್!! ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಸಾಧ್ಯ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನೂ ಮಾಡೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗಲ್ಲ.. ಆ ವಸ್ತುಗಳಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಾ ನೀನಿರೋದು.. ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ.. ನನ್ನನ್ನ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಲಲಿ?????
ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಆಕಾಶದ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ಹೇಳಿದ ಮಾತು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ.."hey!!ನೀನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ Friends ಅಲ್ವಾ?? Please ಇವುಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೇಳು, ನಿನ್ನ ನನ್ನ destinyಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ.. I am ready to beg them for you.. I love you ಕಣೆ.." ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ bikeಗೆ ಒರಗಿ ಕೂತು, ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಗಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ಹಿಡಿದು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ.. ಹ್!! ನಕ್ಕು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು.. ಈಗ??? ಈಗ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಮಾತಾಡಲಿ ಅವುಗಳ ಜೊತೆ?? ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ ಉದುರಿ ಬೀಳೋದಿಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ನಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಹೀಗೆ ಆಟ ಆಡಿತ್ವೆ?? I hate them.. I hate them all.. all of them..

ಇವತ್ತು ಅತ್ತೇ ಅಳತೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ಹಠ ಹಿಡಿದು, ನಿನ್ನ jacket ಅಪ್ಪಿಕೋಂಡು ಕೂಡತೀನಿ.. ನೋವು ಗಂಟಲ ತನಕ ಬರುತ್ತೆ... ಯಾಕೋ.. ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಬರೋದೆ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನೆನಪಾಗಿ ಕಾಡೋ ಬದಲು ಕಣ್ಣೀರಾಗ ಬಾರದೇನೋ ನೀನು?? ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಕಾಡತೀಯಾ?? ಬೇರೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಇಲ್ವಾ ನಿಂಗೆ?? I hate you.. I Dont like you.. You understand?? I hate you.. God!!! what am I saying... ಅಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾಕೆ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ??
ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ Bryan Adamsನ Please forgive me ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ..Do you want me to sing

"Please forgive me.. I know not what I do
Please forgive me.. I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me.. This pain I'm going through..
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do..
Please believe me.. Every word I say is true
Please forgive me.. I can't stop loving you .."

I cant stop Loving you..
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ ನನ್ನ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಮಾತ್ರ.. Please.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ ನಗಿಸ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನನ್ನ.. ಹಾಗೇ ಅಳಿಸಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಒಂದು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ ತಂತಾನಾರೆ ಬಂದುಬಿಡತಿತ್ತು.. ನಿನ್ನ perfumeನ ಪರಿಮಳ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕೂದಲಿನ ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಸ್ಪರ್ಶ.. ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯೋ??
Please ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ.. Justin Timberlakeನ ಈ ಹಾಡು ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? I am Singing that for you now..
"Cry me a River.. " Please.. Cry me a river...

My Best Friends Wedding...

2009-03-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

Yesss.. you read it right. It was my best friend Katis wedding on 22th of March.Yupiee!!! Yeah!!! A day to remember for her and for us(we friends). Don’t ask me how was the marriage.. Coz it was just wonderful!!! Awesome!! Fun!! She looked like a goddess.. beeeeaaaauuutttiiifullll…… vinay(her husband) had no option other than starring at her when she walked down to the ‘mantap’.We were really stunned to look at her everytime.. She looked just beautiful.. just like a goddess.. every sari she wore was getting a look because of her, Every stone in the jewelry got the spark because of the glow she had in her eyes ..God!!! If I m allowed, I ll keep on praising her, without even caring if you are really interested or if you are getting bored.. anyways.. let me come to the actual part of this story..

We, I mean me,paggu,sweetoo,shradha and juhi had been planning for this big day from around 2-3 months. We were excited for her, and to meet each other too.. it had been almost 6 months I met sweetoo,shradha and almost a year I met paggu.. I was really excited to meet them all. Paggu and me had planned to go together from Bangalore to Belgaum, there all my other friends would join and then from there it was all unclear. What meant more important is meeting all friends

Paggu traveled the half of the day to reach Blore.I attended my office and left early.. but.. This Bangalore traffic..ufff!! I almost lost hopes of reaching on time to board the train.. Thank god!! I was 5 min early to the departure time.. anyways.. what matters is.. Finally I met Paggu. God!! I cant tell you how happy I was.When I met her.. we wer literally hugging each other for some 3-4 times.. We had missed each other (well..even though we spoke almost 3-4 times a week for around an hour each time).People around us were starring at us.. we were too happy to notice it then..we hardly slept that night on train.. we chatted, chatted and chatted till we reached belgaum.. And ya.. When we reached belgaum.. We both were silent for a long time.. it took us back to the old good days of our own, the 3rd gate, 1st gate, ambika, military mahadev, RPD, Goavaes.. every road in belgaum had some memories with it.. and the best part was we both were remembering them together, silently in our minds.. both knew wat was going on the other persons mind.. but none of us spoke a word..God.. I m going back to those days.. Ok ok.. Where was I??? I reached belgaum.. yup!! Then Uncle and aunty were waiting for us.. we both were too hungry to resist.. upon that when paggus mother cooks.. I cant resist.. so immediately we were on dining table having yummy dosas.. ummm.. Paggu.. convey my thanks to aunty.. she deserves it.

It was almost 11:00 am.. we got a call from kati.. “where you people?? We have arranged for a Bus near my home.. come soon.. they are all waiting.” . Paggu was ready but I was not.. I was still sleeping.. I somehow got ready and then in 15 min we were at katis place. Wow!! That’s the time I met sweetoo and shradha..and when I met them, I never felt I was away,they were my same old friends.. too lazy to change(he he he)..we were together like our college group again..I felt sooooooooooo ggggggggggggoooooooooooodddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

Our journey to pune was total fun!!!!! Not me nor paggu were interested in telling our work related stuff.I seriously don’t remember wat we spoke.. all I remember is teasing shradha, telling each other abt the office tales, singing or should I say screaming??well we laughed, laughed and laughed.. I must have lost few kgs as I spoke a lot.

It was almost 7 when we reached karyalay in Pune. Sneha had arranged a room for us.We met juhi there.. We attended katis ‘Haldi’ function.. before that, katis ‘bhaiyas’ and ‘bhaabiis’, deedis and jeejus’ presented a dance for her.. umm.. it was great.. ya... they forgot steps, they forgot the sequences BUT they all loved her.. and was clearly visible in their act..everybody loved her..and then kati was on stage.. She enjoyed every single bit of the moment. She was just enjoying completely. Vinay was with her.They 2 ofcourse completed each other.

Then that night when we all were supposed to sleep kati came to our room. She was not a bride then.. she was just the same old kati. The same kiddo, teaser.. She was not scared for her big day, she was not tensed, not worried, not afraid of loosing anything, not even a bit insecured.. She was Just our own Kati. We all loved her so much. We all spoke almost the whole night.. she had to get up early in the morning.. but even then we all chatted, we all were back to college days.. just a day before her wedding..

Then the next day we woke up late and the ‘muhurt’ was in half an hour.. you wont believe.. we 5 girls got ready in just half n hour, that’s coz we didn’t want to miss a moment of the wedding.. we wanted to be with her every single moment. And we were there, we were there when he put the ‘mangal sutra’, we were there when they took ‘sapta padi’(saath phere), when there was kanya daan.. None of us had seen a wedding so closely.. we all were excited. Kati as usual went through all these with an ease, with a cool mind.. she was happy.

Then the rest of the ceremony was like some fairy tale. Kati was a princess, Vinay was Prince charming. He came for her.. to find his love for life.. Wow!!! Doesn’t that sound so beautiful???

Hmmm.. there was her reception in the evening.. I could not attend it as I had to leave to Bangalore. I had only 1 day leave(ssssaaadddddd).I had my train at 10. I never wanted to say a bye to my friends.. I didnt want to leave, I wanted the time to freeze.. I would miss them a lot everytime I felt like being stupid, everytime I wanted to eat pani puri, everytime I felt “What am I doing???”, everytime I got confused which dress to buy, which bag will match with it.. , everytime I felt like going for a walk, everytime I saw a handsome guy.. today when I sit here writing all this.. I feel.. gone are those days when I could call Kati and say “Kati I m bored.. Chal lets go out for a movie” or I would message paggu “wanna come for a walk” and next 10 min she would be there.. and just ask sweetoo “hungry?? Canteen??”.. Just those days when we would keep messaging “how many chapters done??” or “arey yaar.. This topic is so sadu.. I m skipping it.. you??”.. then after those internals or exams.. we would go for Ramdev PavBhaji, ambika Pani Puri..well that guy at ambika probably would miss us if we didn’t show up atleast once in a week.. Ah!!!! Good old days.. But these days are also good.. I like them too.. New life, new excitements.. all new.. after all change is another name of life.. isn’t it??

To Kati,
Happy Married life Kati.. now that your lastname is changed.. we your friends solemnly declare that, we will continue to call you by your old name i.e kati.. and you will remain as our old and forever friend ‘KATI’.
Happy married life once again..
Take care.

ಸತ್ಯಾನ್ವೇಷಣೆ

2009-03-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

ಕಂದ ನಿದ್ದೆಹೋಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನೆಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಕನಸ ಹೊದ್ದುಮಲಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನಸು ಮೈಮರೆತಿತ್ತು.
ಅವನೆದ್ದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮಲಗಿದಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು.
ತೆರೆದಿತ್ತು ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲೊಂದೇ ......?

ನಿದ್ದೆ ತಿಳಿದೆದ್ದ ಕಣ್ಣು ರಚ್ಚೆ ಹಿಡಿದು ಕುಳಿತಿತ್ತು.
ನೆರೆಯ ಕಣ್ಣೋಟ ಹೊರೆಯಾದ ಬದುಕು.
ಕುದ್ದು ಹೊದ ಬಾಳಿಗೆ ಕದ್ದು ಹೋದವನ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಧರೆಯ ನೆಚ್ಚಿದ ಯಶೋಧರೆಗೆ ವಸುಂಧರೆಯ ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲು.
ನದಿ ತೊರೆದ ನೀರಿನದು ದಿಕ್ಕು ತೊರೆವ ನಡಿಗೆ

ಆಲಾಪವಿಲ್ಲ,ವಿಲಾಪ ನಿಲ್ಲದ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಅವರು,ಇವರು,ಹೋದವರೆಲ್ಲ ಬಂದರು.
ಆತನೊಬ್ಬ ದಿವ್ಯಜ್ಞಾನಿಯೆಂದರು.
ಬೋಧಿವೃಕ್ಷದ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಸತ್ವ ತುಂಬಿದ ಬೆಳಕು.
ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೋಟ ಶಾಂತಿ ಚೆಲ್ಲುವ ಕಾಂತಿ.

ಜೋಡಿ ಜೀವವಾಗಿ ಮಿಡಿದ ಮನ ಕಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕೆಲಕ್ಷಣ.
ದುಗುಡ ಹೊತ್ತಮನಕ್ಕೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಗೂಡಿನ ತವಕ.
ಸರದಿಯ ಸಾಲು ಕಣ್ಣು ತುಂಬುವಷ್ಟು ದೂರ.
ಸರತಿಯ ದಾರಿಯ ನಡುವೆ ಗುರುತು ಸಿಗಲೆಂಬ ಪುಳಕ
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಯುಗಸಂದ ದಾರಿ,
ದೂರಸರಿದ ನೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಗರದ ಬಯಕೆ.

ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೀಲಿಗೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಸೊಗಸು.
ತೀರದ ಆತಂಕ,ಆತ್ಮಾನುಕಂಪಕ್ಕೂ ಅರ್ಪಣೆಯ ಭಾವ.
ಗಮ್ಯ ಸೇರಿದ ಹನಿಗೆ ಅದರದ್ದೇ ಸಾರ್ಥಕತೆ.
ತೆರೆದ ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾವ ಬಾಗಿಲ ಹಂಗು.?

-ಅಮ್ಮ (ಶೈಲಜಾ ಗೋರನ್ಮನೆ)

"You' ve got A WISH"

2009-03-05T05:41:00.000-08:00

“Hey.. you have a 'WISH' “I said was with my friend sitting in a CCD.

“What?? What I have??” He asked.

“Arey!! A 'WISH' “ I answered.

“What?? Whats that?” he asked again.

"Offo!! You dont know what a 'WISH' is?? Ok.. I ll explain..” I said picking up that small, feathery eyelash that was fallen just below his right eye. I felt like a small kid carrying a butterfly in her hand, all so careful and full of excitement to show it to her friends..

I continued“Look.. THIS is a WISH” that eyelash was on my forefinger tip.

“Well.. whats the point?? can you explain further??” he had a sarcastic tone, but I was too involved in explaining him what that 'WISH' was.

I continued ,“Well.. they say..”

“Wait.. who they??” he interrupted.. he wanted everything to be specific, he was a tech-guy after all..

“Hmmm.. 'They' means.. people who believe in this concept of 'WISH'” I had to explain him in a very technical way as he was someone who could not understand anything unless and until its said clearly.. 'NO AMBUGUITY PLEASE' must have been his slogan..

“Ok.. any specific instance or its jusst a abstract group of people?” he asked for more.

“Its just a group of NORMAL people, I dont know if they are abstract or not..” I said.

“Hmmm.. You continue..” he finally allowed me to explain.

“Well they say..If you have a wish in your heart that you REALLY REALLY want it to be true and you find a fallen eyelash which is called 'WISH', then you gotta close your eyes and make that wish in your mind... and blow the 'WISH' (eyelash) to the wind” I said all so excited thinking of he making a wish...

“So?? what happens if you do so??” he was still not convinced.

“Arey that wish will come true.. Now dont let your wish go waste.. make a wish, make a wish.. any wish that you want..” I literally had to force him to make the wish. But by the time he made one wish, the wind had made one..

He was laughing at me as I was little upset for he not utilizing the 'WISH', he asked.

“Niveditha, do you really believe in this concept of 'WISH'?”

“Well.. I Dont know” I said reluctantly.

“'I dont know' was not an option” he was forcing me to give an answer..

“I know its really weird.. but..” I was thinking for an answer as I really didnt know what I believed in and what I didnt, what I liked and what I didnt.. I was confused.. I continued..

“I know its weired.. Its not that I really believe that the wish will come true.. But whats wrong it trying??” I asked him in full confidence.

“Trying?? Trying what??”he was looking into my eyes.

“Trying in this 'WISH' thing.. See.. even if there is 1% probability of the wish coming true.. why not take a chance??” I said turning my eyes down. .

“1% ?? you think there is 1% probability of this thing to be true??” he stressed that '1%'.

“Ya.. why not??see anyways that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash is fallen and is of no use.. So why not use it in this way?? atleast you will be happy for sometime thinking that your wish will come true”I asked him in full confidence.

“Niveditha.. one doesnt need this fallen eyelash to make his wish come true, one needs to put all his efforts, give it to the fullest he can to make it true” he explained.

“Ya.. I know, I know.. I m not telling that I ll make a wish and sit quite.. Even I believe in what you said.. but sometimes even if you give all your 100% you have a fear of loosing it. There is little uncertainity,there are always some 'what if??' kind of questions.. and concepts like 'WISH' will help you to overcome those fears and move ahead and give your fullest,forget the uncertainty for sometime atleast. Anyways look.. that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash will also feel good that it was also a part of making somebodys wish true wat say??” I winked my eye to him.

“what?? Eyelash will fffffeeeeeellllll something??” he was disgusted.

“Yes..It will feel 'aaj mera janam sarthak hogaya' he he he” I wanted to make the moment light.. so was making some fun and was trying to drift off the topic.. but he was not willing.. he said..

“Niveditha, When your giving your 100% and calculating all the risk factors and planning accoringly then there is not fear of failing.”

“welll.. not always... If what you said was true then why till today you dont find a single zero-defect application/code?? there is always a little uncertainity associated with every wish, everything you do.. right??” I asked him back.

“I dont understand.. I mean how can you believe in such a stupid thing??”

I wanted to finish the topic.. I was angry now.. I said..

“look we both are in 2 different verticles of life and we both have two very different dimensions. So even if I sit and explain you this you ll not agree with me.. and trust me.. my intension here is NOT to convince anybody.. I follow few thing and I follow.. If you dont want to follow leave it.So lets stop this discussion here.. I m very hungry.. hmm.. I ll take a 'DevilsOwn' with chocolate sauce and one black forest” I had to take a breath.. I had spoken a long sentence..

“Well.. ok.. as you say..” he said and went to put the order..
Finally I took a sigh of relief!!!!!!!!

ತವಕ

2009-02-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

ಸಣ್ಣದೊಂದು ಚಿಗುರು,

ಬೆಳೆದು ಮರವಾಗುವ ಆಸೆ,

ಹಣ್ಣು ಹೂವಾಗುವ ಕನಸು,

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಬೆಳಕಿನ ಕನವರಿಕೆ,

ನಿಲ್ಲುವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಎಣಿಕೆ ಚಕ್ರ.

ಕೂಡಿ-ಕಳೆದು-ಗುಣಿಸಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು...

ಸಂಜೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು

ನಾಳೆಯ ಕಾಯುವುದೇ ಕಾಯಕ.

ಬೇಸರಕ್ಕೆ ಇಂದು ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಮುಂದೆ ನೋಡಿದರಾಯಿತು..

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಸೋಲುವ ಭಯ.

ಕತ್ತಲೆಗೆ ಹೆದರಿ ನಡೆಯುವುದ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಬೇಕೆ?

ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳು ಕಡಿಮೆಯೇ?

ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದರೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರವಾಗುವುದು ಹೇಗೆ??!!

ಕಣ್ಣ ಕಂಬನಿಯನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗಬೇಕು,

ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳ ನೋವನ್ನ ಮರೆಯಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು.

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ

2009-02-13T22:12:00.000-08:00

DreamBoy,
ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಸರು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ 'Dear','Sweetheart','honey' ಅಂತಾ ಏನೂ prefix ಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ ನಂಗೆ. Anyways ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದೀನಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಕಳೆದ ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಇಲ್ಲೆ ಇದೀಯಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ, ಅದೇನೋ ಹೇಳಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಿರುಗ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಮೇಲೆ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ, ನೀನಿಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಕ್ಕು ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ ಆಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೆ ಕಣೊ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಯ್ತು 2 ತಿಂಗಳು ಭುಬನೇಸ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಸಮಯ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೇ ಗೊತ್ತಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿ harry, kavi ಎಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ತುಂಬಾ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೊ.. ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಹಿಂದಿನದೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸ್ತೀನಿ... ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನೆನೆಸಿದಾಗ್ಲೂ ಅದೇ ರೋಮಾಂಚನ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕಿರುನಗೆ ನನಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕೊಡತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಂಥದ್ದೆ.
ಮೊದಲ ಸಲ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ನನ್ನ friends ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, "he is so cute, look at his smile,its soo pure"ಅಂತಾ. ನನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿತ್ತು ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತಾ!!ನನಗೆ ಹೇಳಿಕೋಳ್ಳೋಂಥ ಖುಷಿಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, excitment ಆಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನಗೂ ನಿನಗೋ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪರಿಚಯ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ..and you know that I m not a kind of girl who 'wow's guys, or falls easily for guys, ಆದ್ರೂ ನೀನು ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನಕ್ಕಾಗಲೂ ಅದೇನೋ, ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ tension, stress ಎಲ್ಲ 2 ಸೆಕೆಂಡ್ ಮರೆತುಬಿಡತಿದ್ದೆ. Events finalise ಮಾಡೋದು, judges, budget, arrangments ಅಂತಾ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಮಯವನ್ನ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕಳೆದ್ವಿ, ಆದ್ರೂ ನಾವಿಬ್ರು ಸುಮ್ ಸುಮ್ನೆ timepass ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕಡಿಮೇನೇ. ಅಲ್ವಾ? college fest timeನಲ್ಲಿ ನನಗೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಅದ್ಯಾರಿಗೋ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಜಗಳ ಆಗಿತ್ತು ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ? ಆಗ ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ "Nivi, Dont worry, ನಿಂದೇನೂ ತಪ್ಪಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ", and then you had given me the same smile.. that meant to me so much.. ಗೊತ್ತಾ? and then i used to ask you smile everytime HOD scolded me, everytime things werent right.. or just everytime I felt low. Till today.. ಇವತ್ತಿನ ತನಕಾ ಕೂಡ ನಿನ್ನ ಆ smile ನೆನಸ್ತೀನಿ.
College fest was over, but that wasnt the end.. ಮೊದಮೊದಲು ಬರೀ fwd msg, ಆನಂತರ ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ chatting, ಆಮೇಲೆ calls, and then late night calls.. ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಾಗೋದು Rex cafe.. ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ.. :-) ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ?
ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ ಬರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನನಗೇನೂ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, ಅಥವಾ so called "ಆ ಥರದ ಭಾವನೆ"ಯಾಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಯಾಕಂದ್ರೆ we never felt it something strange, I always felt that you wer my very good friend, and ನೀನೂ ಕೂಡ.. it was all so casual, and normal.. rite? ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನೀನು call ಮಾಡಿ "Nivi, shall I pick you up?" ಅಂತಾ ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ok ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. and then.. it had to happen!! bridge ದಾಟೋಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಶುರುಆಯ್ತು. ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ.. ನಾವು ಸುಮಾರು ಹೊತ್ತು railway station ಹತ್ರ ಇರೋ ಆ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನಿಂತಿದ್ವಿ?? ನಾನು ಛಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡಗೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ jacket ತೆಗೆದು ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ, ಥೇಟ್ moviesನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗುತ್ತಲ್ಲ ಅದೇ ಥರಾ!! I was like, how can I take?? ಅಲ್ವಾ? ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಿದ್ದೆ.. 3ನೇ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗಲೂ ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಾಗ ನೀನೇ ಹೊದೆಸಿದ್ದೆ.. again movies ನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗೋ ಥರಾ.. that was the 1st time a guy did something like that to me.. I was confused.. because this always happens only in movies, or novels or in my dreams.. but, but never it was supposed to happen with me in MY REAL life.. I was confused.. but you were normal and as casual as you always used to be.. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನಾನು ತುಂಬಾ ತಲೆಕೆಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನನ್ನ friends ಮಾತ್ರಾ ಇದನ್ನ ಕೇಳಿ, " nivi, so romantic!!" ಅಂದಿದ್ರು..
ಆಮೇಲೆ ನಾವು Rex cafeಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಆಡಿದ ಮಾತು ಇನ್ನೂ ನೆನ್ನೆ ತಾನೆ ಆಡಿದೀವೇನೋ ಅನ್ನೋಥರಾ ನೆನಪಿದೆ.. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ recent poem ಒಂದನ್ನ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, ನೀನು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಾನೂ ಸರಿಯದೇ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದೆ. ಆನಂತರ ಆ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ ramdev ತನಕ walk ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ? ನಿನ್ನ jacketನ ಪರಿಮಳ ನನಗಿನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಕಣೋ.. ಆ walkನಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೆನೇನು ಮಾತಾಡಿದ್ವೋ.. ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಚ್ಚುಚ್ಚು ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳು, ಅನಿಸಿಕೆಗಳು, ಕನಸುಗಳು.. ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ?? ಈಗ ನೆನೆಸ್ತಾ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ಎಷ್ಟೋಂದು ನೆನಪುಗಳು.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಬಿಡಬೇಕು, ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಲ್ಲ...ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳ ನಂತರ ನಿನಗಾಗಿ 4 ಸಾಲುಗಳನ್ನ ಬರದಿದ್ದೀನಿ.. ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ?
ಜುಮು ಜುಮು ಮಳೆ,
ನೀನು,
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನೀ ಬರೆದ ಕವನ.
ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆ ಸಾಗರದ ಮಂದ ಅಲೆ,
ಬಾನು,
ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆವ ಕ್ಷಣ

ಇಷ್ಟ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ?
ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೋ.. ನನಗೀ ಊರನ್ನ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣೋ, ನಾವು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು ಈ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ.. btw chinmay ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಪ್ಪ ಆಗಿದಾನೆ..ಆದ್ರೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಿಸ್ತಾನೆ. ok baba.. ನಿನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಲ್ಲ.. You are the most handsome guy i have ever seen.. ನಿನ್ನ ಎದುರಿಗೆ Brad Pitt ಕೂಡಾ waste.. ಸರಿನಾ?happy?? ಹಾ... ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಸಂದೀಪ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. he said something that I really liked it.. so thot of sharing it with u.. I know you ll also like it. It was one of the phrases worth collecting.. it goes something like this..
"I like people like you, who make people like me like people like you, like you." ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲ?last 'like you' redundant ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ..but it is not.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ? ತಲೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಅಲ್ಲಡಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ? ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ವಾ? uff!! I somehow knew it.. waste ಇದೀಯಾ.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆದ್ರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆದಾಯ್ತು.. ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೂ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ.. ಸರಿನಾ??
ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಿಗ್ತೀನಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ...
Take care. ಅಲ್ಲಿ local trains ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗಿ ಬಿಡಬೇಡ..processing timeನ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ(he he he.. i m sorry for this) ಸರಿ bye.

I, Me Myself-1

2009-01-22T04:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Dreambox,
Well.. first things first..I missed you a lot.. and I m sorry for not telling you anything about the place where I live now, about the work I do, the people I live with, the life I m living.. about all the happy times n the weeping times.. (ofcourse I do have weeping times.. well who else better than you knows it??) so.. a final sorry... but I promise you that from now onwards I ll regularly keep updating you about myself.. happy?? Hmmm.. I know.. look at you.. you are smiling.. anyways..
So where do I start from??

Hmmm…Now I m in Bhuvaneshwar.. actually people here call it ‘Bhubaneswar’.. It’s the effect of pronouncing all ‘Vs’ as ‘Bs’ ans all ‘SHs’ as ‘SSs’. As an effect of that all ‘Shankars’ become ‘sankars’ and all ‘shruthis’ become ‘srutis’. When I came here with my father, I was asked my name at our family friends place.. I said “Niveditha” n they called “Nibeditha”.. he he he.. funny I know.. but not to them. Bhubaneswar is the capital of Orissa state. And its in the east part of India.

Oh God!! how can I forget this.. you know what.. here at 5:30pm its dark like 7:00 pm in the evening.. and in the morning by 5:30 its all bright like 6:30 or so.. It literally took me some days to accept the fact.. I used to come out of the room in the office just to realize its dark n the time is just 5:30pm.. It was really strange for me.. If you happen to come here some time I m sure you’ll also realize that. This is because Bhubaneswar is at the east of India(he he he I m telling you this as if you don’t know!!)

Btw I m very much in love with the city. City is very well planned, built and maintained. You know.. those compound walls at the sides of the roads are all so beautifully painted. They are painted of the pics of the tradition, culture, lifestyle, cuisine, art work of Orissa. What impressed me a lot is the mirror work at ‘Jaydeb bihar’(Its Jaydev Vihar, one of the imp spots of Bhubaneswar) . I m like.. I get fascinated by its beauty.. Everytime I look at it, I get mesmerized.. I keep starring at it. God!! They r so beautiful.. you should have a look at it. Everytime we(me n my frns) pass by the place.. I keep peeping out of the rickshaw till it gets off my sight. So my friends tease me “ hey Nivi nivi.. ur mirror work ,ur mirror work” J ahh…they r simply fantastic(mirror work). This is one of the best cities I have ever seen… well to be very honest with you, I haven’t seen much of these ‘big cities’ except for ‘namma Bengalooru’ ;-).

One more thing that impressed me is the market. Its really nice. They have 2 bulidings and they call it ‘market building’. Here the shops are organized depending on the item they sell.. confused?? I ll explain.. All the cloth shops are together, then there are bags shops and then all the bangle n bindi shops.. like this.. understood?? There are street shops too.. there you can bargain to high extent.. I bought a bag for 175 bucks where he said it was of some 500bucks, Its really nice bargaining.. I love doing it..(bargaining of course). And people here are also good. Now don’t ask me how much I have interacted with the local people.. I haven’t much though.. but whatever I have interacted.. they have been good n nice.

I think people here are very much fond of potatoes n cauliflower. They use potatoes by default in all the curries they make. And paneer is one thing you can find in any ‘sabzi’. But they say bhubaneswar is famous for crab n fishes( I mean dishes). Ah!! I now regret for not being a non-veggi..

Well if I told you this.. I m sure you wud not believe it.. THERE ARE NO CITY BUSES here.. surprised?? Same was my reaction to it. But that’s THE FACT. But rickshaw rates are really cheap. Actually the rickshaw system here come in 2 categories
· Shared: In this system the rickshaw acts like tempo. The driver can pick up any no. of ppl on the way. But you should pay very less money like 10rs or so depending on the distance of course. This is much cheaper.. like one can go around some 30 KM just in 20Rs.. Cheap rite??
· Reserved: In this system you hire a auto all to urself.. much like all other cities. This will cost a lot. Like you ll have to pay 200 something for some 30KMs.. even then comparative to Belgaum the rickshaw rates here are really cheap.

The rickshaw ride in local bhubaneswar has made a lot of memories in my mind.. you know y?? we are 6 of us in our group, 3 girls me, harini n kavita, and 3 boys guru, kishore and mahesh. everytime we hire a rickshaw.. the seating arrangement is very funny. harini and kavita sit at the back and I sit on one of thems lap, and one of the guys sits behind with us and the rest share the dirvers space..(he he he) the driver is often seen falling out of his seat.. thats a real ride.. I m always made to sit on somebodys lap like a baby, but its little troublesome to the other person(I think so,, but I dont think they feel the same.. they always say i m very much light weighted). and there are many things abt this rickshaw ride.. as you can infer, the reserved rickshaw system is costlier than shared.. so we 6 of us take a single rickshaw and act as if we are different ppl and the rickshaw is shared(no wonder y I m saving so much on money). Funny it is.. rite?? and btw at the traffic signals usually one of the guys infront gets down, crosses the signal and then joins us so that we are not caught by the police there.. there are many incidents with the autorickshaw.. i ll tell you again..

After coming to bhubaneswar one of my childhood dreams came true.. I know wait.. I ll tell you.. don’t gimme that ‘tell me fast’ kind of look.. have patience dear.. ya.. when I was a kid.. every time I read or heard about the Konark sun temple, I don’t know why.. I used to get fascinated.. I was fascinated everytime. And now I have visited it. Yupiee!! First time when I saw it I couldn’t believe that I was actually in konark. I felt proud to see the architecture.. it is beautiful. I loved it. I can tell you all about konark but I not now.. some other time. Then in Jagannath Puri I touched the bay of Bengal for the first time.. I always wondered how bay of Bengal would be.. but then I know it now..btw you wont believe I have visited to Puri n Konark 3 times.. once with my appaji when he had come to leave me, n then with amma, savitakka, kaka, ajja n aayee.. and recently with my friends.. it was tttooottttaaaalll fun with friends.. I ll tell about that trip again some time later.. I have lots to tell you about that… like the way me n kavitha flirted with Guru(btw I must say this.. don’t take me wrong.. it was all for fun as even he flirted back ), the way I played cards with Guru and Kishore, our running race with Mahesh on that hot sand, the way we enjoyed in the Puri beach… the cycle rickshaw ride.. the bargaining, those shoping.. god!! There is sooo much.. I guess I can write a post on that trip.. surely I will.

Hey…I have to tell you abt my professional life, my office and its work culture etc,and many many things to tell you about this place n life here.. ok I understand.. don’t yawn now.. I m stopping rite?? fine someother time.. but promise me you ll listen to me again.. ok?? promise?? fine.. chal then.. bye..
and take care and v.v.v.v imp thing... I ll miss you. Bye.!!!

The sand I walked on... is back in my shoes!!

2008-11-24T01:11:00.000-08:00

“Happy Birthday again Juhi.. It was real fun today.. see you in college tomo.. chal good night. Byeeeee….” I said. It was Juhi’s birthday and we were some 15 girls in that dinner party. Our cheek bones had started paining as we had laughed and laughed and laughed for hours together.
Kati asked me, “ Nivi, you going to hostel now? It’s already 10.30”
“No, I ll be going to paggus place” I replied.
“You took permission”?
“ No.. I forgot actually.. but chalega. I don’t think warden is there.”
We had not finished our talks. Sweetoo was waiting for her father to come. Me, Paggu and Kati were waiting with her. Sweetoo’s father was like a friend for all of us. So when he came, it was not difficult for us to convince him to let Sweetoo stay with me and paggu that night. Kati could not stay with us as she had to go to yoga classes early in the morning, then pick up her bhabhi and drop her to didi’s place and then pick up something from her another cousins place and….Well I don’t remember the rest of her works.. but last one was to come to college before the labs..(;-)).
Me, Sweetoo and Paggu came to Paggus home. Aunty and Uncle were still awake.They knew that it would be late. Aunty asked us “ How was the party?”
Sweetoo said “aunty, the party was so much fun..we had been to celebrates.. we laughed the whole time..everyone there must have felt kahan se aaye hai ye log.. he he he”.
Paggu was excited to explain what manik did..she said “aayee, ami truth or dare khelat hota.. manik la ami ek dare delo.. toh dare ashi hota.. (marathi- we were playing Truth or dare and we gave manik a dare)” she was telling in Marathi.
I took it from there ”Aunty the dare was to stand up on the chair and say ‘gooooooooddddddd eeeevvveeninnnnniinggggggg celebrates’ in that munnabhai style.. You wont believe it aunty.. She did it.!! She literally stood up on her chair and said it.!! We laughed so much.. Everyone there were looking at us.. my god.. it was ttttooootal fun..” We told the whole story to aunty and went to sleep.I was very close to paggu and her family. They loved me equally. They were my parents there.
****************************************************************
It was almost 12 and I was not getting sleep. I saw paggu.
I called..” Paggu..”
“umm..??”
“U awake?”
“umm…”
“I m not getting sleep..”
“ umm..”
“Paggu, get up no…”
“umm??”
“Paggu..”
“Ya.. I m listening.. tell me..”
“Then open ur eeyyyes..”
She smiled.. she saw me and smiled again..
“what happened??”
“ I was thinking…”
“ What??!! U?? Really?? That’s something funny.. wait I ll msg kati.. he he he..” she got up and sat on my bed.
“hey .. I m serious yaar.. listen..no.. kaise dost ho tum log??”
“he he he..good it is.. tell me” paggu said.
“I was wondering where will we be next year by now..”
“Where else?? Working in our companies..” she said casually..
We saw Sweetoo.. she was nicely sleeping. We( Me and Paggu) could not see that.. we took out the pillow from her bed.. uhoon.. no.. she didn’t get up.. then we started hitting her with pillow.. she woke up saw us and tried to say something but we started laughing… again!!.
I suddenly felt senti,I said..“what if we never meet??”
“Ah!! Come on nivi.. I know we cannot be like that” paggu replied.
“We don’t know about you.. but weee will keep meeting..” Sweetoo was making fun of it.
“Plz yaar.. I m serious...” I said.
“umm.. we ll meet at katis marriage nooo..” paggu said.
Sweetoo nodded and gave me that.. "why are you so senti” kind of look.
“ya.. hey how abt this?? Look… Sweetoo is in ‘that’ company, me in ‘this’ and you in yours.. and kati ll get married.. you know na.. our companies have lots competition between themselves.. you know what we can do??”
“ what??” Sweetoo asked looking at me as if she knew I would start something absolute nonsense.
I replied “ say after some x years me, you and she will reach the highest positions in our companies.. and in a IT fair we will cut off all the rivalries..”
“ he he he.. yeah.. and we ll make it this way..ANYBODY CAN WORK FOR ANY COMPANY..” Paggu added her ideas.
“yes.. we ll merge our companies..” I said.
“Nivi.. I like it.. then??” Sweetoo said and smiled listening to us.
“ Then after merging what.. we ll be the richest of all..” I was excited now.
“aha!! There comes money.. nivi I knew it he he he..” paggu knew Where I would take it.
“ listen no….. then for the celebration of the end of the rivalries.. we ll give all the employees holiday..”
Sweetoo saw me and said.. "arey.. if you give holidays like that.. U ll become the poorest of all companies in 10 days..”
We were very much involved in making up this dream kind of thing..as though we were the next big daily soap story writers.
“No.. nothing will happen… we ll be the richest only.. by then.. I guess Katis son will be getting married.. he he he” Paggu laughed.
“ ya.. well lets go to her sons marriage in my private jet..” I said.
“Private jet?? Arey wah!!.. well.. yourr jet, my pilot and Paggu will sponser fuel.. he he he friendship yaar..” Sweetoo added.
“ yeh dosati.. hum nahi… chodenge.. ha ha ha…” We sang... softly offcourse!!
“ what gift shall we give her son??” paggu asked us as if we were about to attend the marriage tomorrow.
She, Sweetoo and kati are my best company to do all such stupid things…when we are together we are stupid, crazy, maadddd to what ever extent.. no boundaries at all..I can speak any crap,to sum it up I say... I can cry infront of them( That says everything.. right??)
I replied.. “what to gift?? Umm.. how abt a private Island??”
“yes… that will be perfect!! Good it is…” Paggu agreed.
Before we decided upon the gift.. we had a small discussion of abt 15 minutes about the gift we can give to katis son. It ranged from private jet to woodland shoes( That sounds crazy isn’t it??)
“arey we are rich yaar..”
“ We ll gift kati some diamond set..” Paggu suggested.
“ok.. but D’dmas wale..” I was particular about that.
“Which ever ya... then what abt juhi and manik??” Sweetoo asked.
“ umm.. lets make manik as President of India and Juhi as Primeminister” I said.
Paggu laughed and said.. “arey.. No.. lets make Juhi President Of India and manik PM.. you know na.. Juhi doesn’t like to work so much.. he he he..”
We laughed together again…
I said “ lets go on holiday with manik, and juhi too…”
“ lets go to katis home.. say.. she ll be settled in US” Sweetoo said though she didn’t like US much.
“ok.. we are rich and famous na.. we have contacts with PM and president.. we are wadde log yaar.. toh apni bhi koi waddi holiday honi chahiye na??he he he..” I had lost all my senses. They had lost it too.
“My god.. its so nice like this… where do you get such Ideas from Nivi??” Paggu was not able to stop laughing.
I said.. “ mentos.. dimaag ki batti jalade jani.. he he he..”
“Dimaag ki batti jalane keliye pehle dimaag honi chaagiye madam..Btw we forgot about civil madam” Sweetoo wanted to have one of our friend who was doing her civil in this crazy dream.
“oh!! we had forgotten her” paggu remembered her..
I acted as if I m thinking seriously and then I said “ umm.. she likes to go to Japan right?? Then.. lets keep her in Japan..she ll be a big.. bbbiiiiiiiggggggg civil engineer in Japan. While going to Katis sons marriage.. we will pick her from Japan and then go..”
Sweetoo wanted to make it easier.. she said "arey, that will be double work.. go to Japan, pick her, and then go to katis sons marriage.. instead we can ask her to come here.. and then we can go together.”
Paggu said “All right.. civil madam is rich and a celebrity too.. so she ll also join us for US holiday”
Me and Sweetoo laughed and said “off course paggu…”
We laughed together again.. It was almost 3 AM. We had to sleep.

*********************************************************************************

Next day in the college When we said this crazy, crapest(I doubt if this word exists) dream to kati, juhi, and manik.. we were caught laughing in the class.. sir asked us to tell him the reason…. We didn’t.. but laughed again..

************************************************************************************

Hey,
As usual I m getting senti. Things won’t be same from tomo. If not everything most of the things in life are gonna change. None of us can say, “I will never change” as Change is one obvious thing and something tells me.. change for today is a better tomorrow. I believe it. They say miracles happen.I believe it without even asking ‘when??’. I believe it. For now I Just hope to never change so much that I forget the path I walked on.. holding your hands, laughing, chatting, gossiping. There will be n no. of ppl walking on the same path.. but none of them will be us. Right??
Now sweetoo stop laughing, kati.. don’t stop your tears.. paggu.. react something.. don’t gimme that “now you made me senti too” kind of look, and civil madam don’t laugh, for manik..”yyoo man” and juhi even you stop laughing.
Everyone.. take care. A big hug from me.
Lots of love.
Nivi.

ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲ ಅದು!!

2008-11-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಜಾಲದ ಮಡಿಲದು ಪ್ರಕೃತಿ

ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೂ ಕಾಣುವ ಪ್ರೇಮದ ಆಕೃತಿ

ವಸಂತನ ಬಿಗಿದಪ್ಪಿದಳು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿ

ಕಣ್ಮರೆಯಾದನು ಆತ ಆಕೆಯ ಮರೆಸಿ.

ಚಿಗುರಿದ್ದಳು ಗಿಡಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಶರಾಶಿಯೆಂಬಂತೆ

ಹಾಡಿದ್ದಳು ಮಾಮರದಿ ಸಂತಸದ ಮಾತಂತೆ

ಚಾಚಿದ್ದಳು ಬಾಹುಗಳ ಪ್ರಿಯತಮನ ಆಸರೆಗೆ

ಅರಿಯಳವಳು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋದ ಕಾರಣವ, ಏನಾಯಿತೋ ಅವಗೆ??!!

ಸುರಿಸಿದಳು ಭಾವಗಳ ಕಂಬನಿಯ ಮಳೆ
ಕಾನೆಂಬ ಅರಮನೆಯಲಿ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ಹೊಳೆ
ಪ್ರಿಯತಮನ ಕಾದಳು, ಸಿಡುಕಿದಳು ಗುಡುಗಾಗಿ
ತನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ತೊರೆದು ಹೋದವನಿಗಾಗಿ.

ಜೀವಿಗಳಿಗೆ ಆಸರೆ... ಮಿಂಚಿದಳು ಮಿಂಚಿನಲಿ
ಹುಡುಕುತ ನಡೆದಳು ಋತುಗಳ ಎಣಿಸುತಲಿ
ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲ ಅದು, ಆ ಪ್ರಿಯತಮೆಯ ಕಂಬನಿ
ಪ್ರೀತಿ ತುಂಬಿದ ಮಡಿಲಿನ ಒಡಲಿನ ದನಿ.

ನಿಂತ ಗುಡ್ದಗಳು ತಡೆದವು ಆಕೆಯ
ನಿಂತಲ್ಲಿ ಹನಿಯಾದಳು ಸವೆದಳು ಜೀವವ
ಯಾರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳಿಯಾಳು ತನ್ನ ನೋವ?
ನೀಲಿ ಮೋಡದಂಥ ಕನಸುಗಳಿಗೆ ನೀಡಿದ್ದಳು ಮನವ...

ಬರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಆತ , ನದಿಯಾಗಿ ಹರಿದಳು,
ತನ್ನ ಕಾಯುವ ಹೇಮಂತನ ಕಂಡಳು,
ವಸಂತನ ಹೇಮಂತನಲಿ ಕಾಣದಾದಳು
ನಿಲ್ಲಲಿಲ್ಲ ಆಕೆ ಹುಡುಕುತ ನಲ್ಲನ ಹೊರಟಳು.

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಂದ ವಸಂತ, ನಿಂತಳು ಕಣ್ತುಂಬ ಕಂಬನಿಯ ತುಂಬಿ
ತೊರೆದು ಹೋಗನವನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಎಂದು ನಂಬಿ
ಬರುವೆನೆಂದು ನಂಬಿಸಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹೋದ
ಕಾದಳು,ಮಿಂಚಿದಳು, ಸಿಡುಕಿದಳು,ಗುಡುಗಿದಳು....
ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಮಳೆಯೇ ಆದಳು....

2008-10-18T23:40:00.000-07:00

ಈ octoberನಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಮುತ್ತಜ್ಜಿಯ ಮಾಷಿಕಕ್ಕೆ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಆಗ ಶಾಲೆಗೆಲ್ಲ ರಜ, ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾಷಿಕ.. ಎಲ್ಲ ಮೊಮ್ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಪಬ್ಬಿ,ಕಿಕ್ಕಿ,ಕೌಶಿಕಾ, ನಿಕಿತಾ, ವಿಂಧ್ಯಾ ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ಇದ್ರು.ಈ ಚಿಂಟು- ಪಿಂಟುಗಳನ್ನು ನಿಮಗೆ introduce ಮಾಡಿಸ್ತೀನಿ. ಇವರಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲ ದೊಡ್ಡವಳು ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಾನೇ. ನನ್ನ ನಂತ್ರ ಪಬ್ಬಿ(ಪ್ರಭಾತ). ಈ ಸಲ 7th std. ನಂತ್ರ ಕೌಶಿಕ-ಈ ಸಲ 4th std. ಉಳಿದವರೆಲ್ಲ KGಗೆ ಹೋಗುವವರು. ನನ್ನ ನೋಡ್ತಿದ್ದಂಗೆ
"ನಿವೇತಕ್ಕೋಂsssದಿ" ಎಂದು ಬಂದು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಕೋಂಡ ಕೌಶಿಕ.
"ನಿವೇತಕ್ಕಾ ದೊಡ್ಡಮ್ಮಾ ಬೈಂದಿಲ್ಯ?" ಪಬ್ಬಿ ಕೇಳಿದ.
ನಾನು ಇನ್ನೇನು "ಓಂssದಿ.. ದೊಡ್ಡಮ್ಮ ಬಂಜಿಲ್ಲೆ.. ಆನು ಮತ್ತೆ ದೊಡ್ಡಪ್ಪ ಬಂಜ್ಯ" ಎಂದು ಉತ್ತರಿಸುವುದರೋಳಗೆ ಕಿಕ್ಕಿ(ಲಿಖಿತ್) ನನ್ಹತ್ರ ಬಂದು,
"ನಿಮೇದಿತಕ್ಕಾ, ನೋಡೇss.. ಈ ವಿಂಧ್ಯಾ ಆಟಕ್ಕೆ ಬತ್ತೇ ಇಲ್ಲೆ.."ಅಂದಾ.
ಕಿಕ್ಕಿಯನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಇನ್ನೂ 1st std.ಟುಮ್ಮ-ಟುಮ್ಮಗೆ, ತುಂಬಾ ಮುದ್ದಾಗಿದಾನೆ.ಅವನು ಆ ಮುದ್ದು ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ complaint ಹೇಳೋದೇ ಇನ್ನೂ ಮುದ್ದಾಗಿತ್ತು.
ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಂಧ್ಯಾ
"ನಿವೇತಕ್ಕಾ, ಇವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಬೇಕೂ ಹೇಳೇ ಯನ್ನ ಔನ್ಟ್ ಮಾಡ್ತ ನೋಡೇss.."
ಅದೇ timeಗೆ ನಿಕಿತಾ..
"ಅಕ್ಕಾ, ಕ್ವಾಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಾಳೆಹಣ್ಣು ಇಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ... ತೆಕ್ಕೋಡೆ" ಅಂದ್ಲು.
ಇವರೆಲ್ಲರ ಮಾತನ್ನ ಕೇಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳತಾನೇ ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋತುಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಬಾಳೆಗೊನೆಯಿಂದ ಹಣ್ಣು ಕೋಯ್ದು ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ. ಆಗ ಪಬ್ಬಿ
"ನಿವೇತಕ್ಕಾ ಬೈಂದಲಿ, ನಾವೀಗ ಹಳೆ ಶಾಲೆ ಗುಡ್ಡಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಪಲಾಗ್ತು.. ಯೇss.." ಅಂದ.
ದೊಡ್ಡವರೆಲ್ಲ ತಮ್ಮ ತಮ್ಮ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ತೊಡಗಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದರಿಂದ, ಈ ಚಿಂಟು-ಪಿಂಟುಗಳನ್ನ ಹಳೇ ಶಾಲೆ ಗುಡ್ಡಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುವವರು ಯಾರೂ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಮೆತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲೇ ಆಟ ಆಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳತಾ ಇದ್ರು.. ಈಗ ನಾನೊಬ್ಬಳು "ದೊಡ್ಡವಳು" ಬಂದಂತಾಯಿತಲ್ಲ ಇವರನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಹಳೇ ಶಾಲೆ ಗುಡ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗೋಕೆ.. ಹಮ್ಮ್..
ಶ್ರೀಪಾದ ಮಾಮ "ನಿವೇದಿತಾ, ಹುಷಾರಿ.. ಇವು ಗಲಾಟೆ-ಗಿಲಾಟೆ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರೆ ನೀನು ಹನಿ ಬೈಯಿ, ಸುಮ್ನ ಇದ್ಬುಡಡಾ..ಊಟದ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಸುಬ್ಬನ್ನ ಕಳಿಸ್ತಿ.. ಬಂದ್ ಬುಡಿ.." ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿ ಕಳಿಸಿದ್ರು...ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಆ ಚಿಂಟು-ಪಿಂಟುಗಳ ಬೆಟಾಲಿಯನ್ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹಳೇ ಶಾಲೆ ಗುಡ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊರಟೆ. ಆ ಚಿಂಟು-ಪಿಂಟುಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಓಡಿ ಹೋಗಿ ಆಟ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡರು.ನನಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ನೆನಪುಗಳು ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತಾ ಹೋದ್ವು.. ದಾರಿ ಉದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ..

ಸುರಗೀ ಹೂವಿನ ಪರಿಮಳ.. ಆ ಮರ ಇಲೇ ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಇರಬೇಕು.ನಾನು, ಭಟ್ರ ಮನೆ ಉಷಾ ಇಬ್ರೂ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಹೂಬುಟ್ಟಿ ಹಿಡದು ಸುರುಗೀ ಹೂ ಹೆಕ್ಕಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗತಿದ್ವಿ. ಬುಟ್ಟಿಗಟ್ಟಲೇ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದು, ಪೋಣಿಸಿ ಮಾಲೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಇಡತಿದ್ವಿ. ಉಷಾಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರಾ ಉದ್ದ ಜಡೆ ಇತ್ತು. ನನ್ನದಂತು ಬಾಯ್ ಕಟ್.ಆದ್ರೂ ಆ ಮಾಲೆನೇ ಜಡೆ ಥರಾ ಜೋತು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಮುಡೀತಿದ್ದೆ.

ಕವಳಿಕಾಯಿ, ಕರೀ ಮುಳೇ ಹಣ್ಣು, ಬಿಳೀ ಮುಳ್ಳೇ ಹಣ್ಣು ಎಲ್ಲ ಎಷ್ಟೊಂದು ಮಟ್ಟಿಗಳಿದ್ದವು.. ಈಗ ಕಡಿಮೆಯಾಗಿದೆ. ಗಣೇಶಣ್ಣ, ಸತೀಶಣ್ಣ, ಉಷಾ, ಆಶಾ, ನಾನು ಎಲ್ಲ ಬೆಟ್ಟ-ಬ್ಯಾಣ ತಿರುಗಿ ಆ ಮಟ್ಟಿಯ ಮುಳ್ಳನ್ನ ಪರಚಿ-ತೆರಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹಣ್ಣನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೊಯ್ತಿದ್ವಿ. ನಮ್ಮೆಲ್ಲರಲ್ಲಿ ಗಣೇಶಣ್ಣ ದೊಡ್ಡವನು. ನಾವು ಕೊಯ್ದ ಹಣ್ಣನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಕೊಡಬೇಕಿತ್ತು. ಆಮೇಲೆ ಅವನು ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಸಮಪಾಲು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಡ್ತಿದ್ದ. ಈಗೆಲ್ಲೋ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿದ್ದನಂತಾ ಕೇಳಿದೀನಿ.

ಏಪ್ರಿಲ್, ಮೇ ಬಂತಂದ್ರೆ ಬೆಳ-ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ತಿಂಡಿನೂ ತಿನ್ನದೇ ನಾವೆಲ್ಲ ಅಪ್ಪೆ ಹಣ್ಣು ಹೆಕ್ಕಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗ್ತಿದ್ವಿ. ಅಪ್ಪೆ ಮಾವಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ರುಚಿನೇ ಬೇರೆ. ಸಣ್ಣ ಸಣ್ಣ ಹಣ್ಣು, ಹುಳಿ-ಶೀಂ ಹುಳಿ-ಶೀಂ ರುಚಿ.. ಮಧ್ಯಾನ್ನ ಅದೇ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಅಪ್ಪೇಹುಳಿ/ ಶೀಂಯಾ ಸಾಸ್ಮೆ ಊಟ ಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಅದೇನೋ ಖುಷಿ.

ಗೋಪಜ್ಜನ ಮನೆ ಬಂತು. ಮದರಂಗಿ ಗಿಡ ಕಾಣಿಸ್ತಿಲ್ಲ. ಆಗ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ಮದರಂಗಿ ಹಚ್ಚಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದು ಒಂದು ಸಂಪ್ರದಾಯದ ಥರಾ ಆಗಿ ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು ನನಗೆ. ನನ್ನಜ್ಜನ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಮದರಂಗಿ ಗಿಡ ಇತ್ತು.. ಆದ್ರೆ ಗೋಪಜ್ಜನ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಕೆಂಡಮದರಂಗಿ ಗಿಡ. ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ಮದರಂಗಿ ಕೊಯ್ಯಲು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ಕುಸುಮತ್ತೆ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ತಂಬ್ಳಿ, ಬಾಳೆಕಾಯಿ ಚಿಪ್ಸು.. ಹೀಗೆ ಏನಾದರೊಂದು ತಿನ್ನಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಕೊಡತಿದ್ರು.. ಮದರಂಗಿ ಹಚ್ಚಿಕೊಳ್ಳೊ ಹಿಂದಿನ ದಿನದಿಂದ ಅಜ್ಜನ, ಮಾವನ ಹತ್ರ "ಯಾರೂ ಯಲೆ ತೊಟ್ಟು ವಗ್ಯಲಿಲ್ಲೆ, ಯಂಗೇ ಕೊಡವು" ಅಂತಾ ಅಪ್ಪಣೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿಡತಿದ್ದೆ.ಆಯಿ ೨ ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ನಿಂಬೆಕಾಯಿ ಕಡಿ ಕೂಡಿಡತಿದ್ರು. ಸುಣ್ಣ, ಚಾ ಸೊಪ್ಪು, ಎಲ್ಲ ಹಾಕಿ ನಿಂಬೆ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ರಸದಲ್ಲೇ ಬೀಸಿ ಕೊಡತಿದ್ರು. ಆಮೇಲೆ ಗಸುಭಟ್ರ ಮನೆ ಲಲಿತಕ್ಕನ ಹತ್ರ design ಹಾಕಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗತಿದ್ದೆ. ಆಗೆಲ್ಲ ಮದರಂಗಿ ಬಿಡಿಸೋದು ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಹಿಡಿಕಡ್ಡಿಯಿಂದ ಕೈ ಮೇಲೆ ಸ್ವಸ್ತಿಕಾನೋ, ಹೂವೋ ಬಿಡಿಸಿದ್ರೆ ಆಗಿತ್ತು. ಏನೂ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಟಿಂ-ಟಿಂ ಆದ್ರೂ ಆಗಿತ್ತು.. ಮತ್ತೆ ಏನೆಲ್ಲ ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳು..

" ಮದರಂಗಿ ಬೀಸುವಾಗ ಮಾತಾಡಲಿಲ್ಲೆ, ಮಾತಾಡಿದ್ರೆ ಕೆಂಡ ಮದರಂಗಿನೂ ಕೆಂಪಾಗ್ತಿಲ್ಲೆ".. "ಮದರಂಗೆ ಹಚ್ಚಿಕ್ಯಂಡಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದಕ್ಕಿಗೆ ಹೋಪಲಿಲ್ಲೆ"..
"ಮದರಂಗಿ ಹಚ್ಚಿಕ್ಯಳಕಿದ್ರೆ ರಾಮ ರಾಮ ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೆ ರಾಶೀ ಕೆಂಪಗಾಗ್ತು".. ಎಷ್ಟು ನಂಬತಿದ್ದೆ ಆಗ... ಮಲ್ಲಾಪುರ, ಹುಲ್ಲು ಬ್ಯಾಣ, ಕತ್ತಲೆ ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಮಂತಣ್ಣನ ಭೂತದ ಕಥೆ, ಎಷ್ಟೊಂದು ನೆನಪುಗಳು... ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳತಾ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತಾ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೆ.. ಹಮ್ಮ್.. ನನ್ನ ಚಿಂಟು-ಪಿಂಟುಗಳ ಬೆಟಾಲಿಯನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಾನೂ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ಆಡಿದೆ, ನಂತರ ಸೌತೆಕಾಯಿ ಬಳ್ಳಿ, ಬೀನ್ಸ್ ಸ್ವಾಡಿಗೆ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಎಲ್ಲ ಖಾಲಿ ಮಾಡಿದೆ. ಸಂಜೆ ವಾಪಸ್ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬರುವಾಗ ಬಸ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ನನ್ನ ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ದಿನಗಳನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡ ಖುಷಿಯ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ, ಬಸ್ಸಿನ ಜೋಗುಡತಕ್ಕೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ನಿದ್ದೆ.

Somebody wake me up...

2008-10-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

Somebody wake me up
I m struck up here, in a nightmare.

Am I alive or dead?
I cant hear a word you said,
The heaven or Hell? Where am I?
I see no red mud nor the blue sky,
Who are you?
My friend or a foe?
Tell me the truth,
I want to know.

I remember nothing my past
I m blocked between the four wall
I try to cry, to scream ‘n shout
But I cant, not even a bit at all..

I m sinking down
down into the deep dark.
No air to breath
No lights not even a small spark.

I want to return to my day...

Please...
Somebody wake me up
I m struck up here, in a nightmare.

ನಾನು ಒಂಟಿಯಾದೆ!!

2008-10-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

ನಾನು ಒಂಟಿ ಅಲ್ಲ!!

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆರಳು ಜೊತೆಗೇ ನಡೆದುಬರಿತ್ತಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ..

ಕತ್ತಲು ಒಂಟಿಯಂತೆ,

ಹೌದು.

ನೆರಳೂ ನನ್ನ ಜೊತೆಗಿಲ್ಲ

ಕತ್ತಲ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಬೆಳಕಿಲ್ಲ.

ಹೌದು.

ಕತ್ತಲು ಒಂಟಿ.

ನಾನು ಕತ್ತಲಾದೆ.

ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಒಂಟಿಯಾದೆ.

ಇಲ್ಲ!!

ನಾನು ಒಂಟಿಯಲ್ಲ...

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪು ಜೊತೆಗಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ!!

ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದ ಒಂಟಿಯಂತೆ

ಹೌದು.

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೂ ಜೊತೆಗಿಲ್ಲ.

ಭಾವಗಳಿಗೆ ಭಾಷೆ ಇಲ್ಲ.

ಹೌದು.

ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದ ಒಂಟಿ.

ನೀರವತೆ ನನ್ನೊಳಗಿದೆ.

ನಾನು ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದವಾದೆ.

ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಒಂಟಿಯಾದೆ.

ನಾನು ಕತ್ತಲಾದೆ!!

ನಾನು ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದವಾದೆ!!

ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಒಂಟಿಯಾದೆ.!!

ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು

2008-10-06T23:51:00.000-07:00

ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು...
ನಾವು, ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು.

ಕಣ್ಣಾಮುಚ್ಚಾಲೆಯಾಟ,
ಎಲ್ಲರೆದುರು..
ಒಬ್ಬರೊಳಗೊಬ್ಬರನು ಹುಡುಕುತಾ..
ಕಂಡೊಡನೆ ಕಂಗಳಲಿ ಹೊಳಪು,
ಕಾಣದಿರೆ, ಜಾರುವುದು ಮೈ-ಮನಗಳ ಹುರುಪು..
ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗುವೆವೋ?
ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಡುಕುವೆವೋ?
ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು...
ನಾವು, ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು.

ನಿಲ್ಲುವೆವು ನಿಶ್ಚೇತರಂತೆ
ನಡುಕ ಮೈಯೊಳಗೆ,
ಮಳೆಯಲಿ ನೆಂದವರಂತೆ...
ನೆರಳು ತಾಕಿದರೆ ಸಾಕು ಚಿಗುರುವೆವು
ತಾಕದಿರೆ, ಬಾಡಿ ಮುದುರುವೆವು..
ಹೇಗೆ ಅರಳುವೆವೋ?
ಹೇಗೆ ಬಾಡುವೆವೋ?
ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು...
ನಾವು, ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು.

ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈಯ ಹಿಡಿದು
ಎತ್ತಲೋ ಪಯಣ,
ಮಾತು ಮೂಕವಾದೊಡೆ
ದಣಿವಾರಿಸುವ ಚುಂಬನ..
ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಬೆರೆವುದು ಕಣ್ಣು ಅದೊಂದು ಕ್ಷಣ
ಮರೆತೇ ಬಿಡುವೆವು ಜಗವ,
ಕಾಣುವುದು ಬರಿಯ ಗಗನ..
ಎಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಲ್ಲುವೆವೋ?
ಎತ್ತ ಸಾಗುವೆವೋ?
ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು...
ನಾವು, ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು.

ಜಗತ್ತು ನಮ್ಮ ನೋಡುವುದಂತೆ
ನೋಡಿ ನಗುವುದಂತೆ
ನಮಗೇನೂ ತಿಳಿಯದು
ಕಂಗಳಲಿ ಕಂಗಳು ಬೆರೆವುದು,
ಮನದಲಿ ಆಸೆ ಅರಳುವುದು..
ಸೇರಿ ಹಾರುವೆವು ನಾವು
ಜೋಡಿ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳಾಗಿ
ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರಂತೆ..
ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರಂತೆ..
ನಾವು,
ಅರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು,
ಜಗದ ಪರಿವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು..

"ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಬೇಕು ಹೇಳಿ ಹಟ ಮಾಡಡಾ ಶಣಾ"

2008-09-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

ಮೊನ್ನೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಆಯಿ(ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅಮ್ಮ) ಬಂದಿದ್ರು. ರಾತ್ರಿ ಊಟದ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಅಮ್ಮ ಯಾಕೊ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ಮಾತೆತ್ತಿದ್ರು.ಆಯಿ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ತುಂಬಾ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದಾಯ್ತು, ಆಯಿ ಅವರ ಕಾಲದ ಕೆಲವು incidentsಗಳನ್ನ ಹೇಳ್ತಾ ಹೋದ್ರು..and this one is my favourite.. ನನ್ನ ಆಯಿಯ ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲೆ ಹೇಳ್ತೀನಿ.
"ನಿವೇದಿತಾ, ನಿನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಂತಾ ರಾಶಿ ಸಂಭಾವಿತಾ ಹೇಳಿ ಅಂದಕ್ಯಳಡಾ. ಆದು ಶಣ್ಣಿರಕಿದ್ರೆ ಬೇಕಾದಷ್ಟು ಹೋಳಿ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು. ಆದ್ರೂವಾ ಯನ್ನ ಮಾವನವರಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರಾ ಶೈಲಜನ್ನ ಕಂಡ್ರೆ ರಾಶಿನು ಪ್ರೀತ್ಯಾಗಿತ್ತು.(btw ಶೈಲಜಾ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ) ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಹೊಡೆಯಲಿತ್ತಿಲ್ಲೆ..ಒಂದೊಂದ ಸಲ ಇವಿಬ್ರೂ ಸೇರಿಕ್ಯಂಡೆಯಾ ಹೋಳಿ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದ್ದ. ಯಂಗಿನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದ್ದು.. ಮಾವನವರಿಗೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮೊಸರು ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಶಣ, ಎಷ್ಟು ಇಷ್ಟ ಅಂಬೆ.. ದಿನಾ ಅದ್ರೆ ಕೊಟ್ರೂ ಖುಷಿ ಖುಷಿ ತಿಂತಿದ್ರು. ಯಲ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ನೆಂಟರ ಮನಿಗೆ ಹೋದ್ರೂವಾ ಆಸರಿಗೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆನೇ ಅಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲೆ ಹೇಳ್ ಬುಡತಿದ್ರು. ಸಂಗತಿಗಿದ್ದವ್ವೂವಾ ಬ್ಯಾರೆ ಗತಿ ಇಲ್ಲದ್ದೆಯಾ ಅದನ್ನೆ ತಿಂನ್ನಕಾಗಿತ್ತು.. ಈ ಹುಡ್ರು ಶಾಲೆಯಿಂದ ಮನಿಗೆ ಸಂಜಿಗೆ ಬಂದಾಗ ಅವಕ್ಕೆನಾದ್ರು ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಹಶಿವಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ರೆ ಮಾವನವ್ರಿಗೂ ಕೊಡಕಾಗಿತ್ತು..ಅಷ್ಟ ಇಷ್ಟ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ!!
ಪಾಪ ಯಮ್ಮನೆ ಅತ್ತೆರಿಗೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಅಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲ ಚೊಲೊ ಅಲ್ಲ.. ಮಾವನವ್ರ ಇನಮನಿ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಮಳ್ಳ ನೋಡಿ ಅತ್ತೇರು ಅವರಿಗೆ ಬೈದಿದ್ರು.. ಅವತ್ತಿನಿಂದಾss ಅವರು ಚೊಲೋss idea ಮಾಡಿಕ್ಯ ಬುಟ್ರು.
ಯಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಪದಿದ್ರೂ ಶೈಲಜನ್ನ ಕರಕಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತಿದ್ರು.. ಅದರ ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಶಣ್ನಕೆ "ಶಣಾ ಅವು ಆಸರಿಗೆ ಕೇಳದ್ರೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಬೇಕು ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳಲಾಗಾ ಅಕಾ" ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳಿಟ್ಬುಡತಿದ್ರು.. ಈ ಕೂಸಿಗೂ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ನೆನಪ್ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಟಂಗೆ ಆತ??ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೇಳವ?? ಇದು ಮುದ್ದಾಮ್ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಬೇಕು ಹೇಳೇ ಹೇಳತಿತ್ತು.. ಕಡಿಗೂ ಮಾವನವ್ರಿಗೆ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಂಗಾತು.."
ಹಮ್.. ಹೀಗಿತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಮುತ್ತಜ್ಜನ ಕಾರನಾಮೆಗಳು.
ಮಾರನೆ ದಿನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಯಾವುದೋ ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಯಲ್ಲಪುರದ ಯಾರದೋ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತು.. ನಾನು ಅಮ್ಮನ ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣದಾಗಿ, "ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಬೇಕು ಹೇಳಿ ಹಟ ಮಾಡಡಾ ಶಣಾ" ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿದಾಗ ಅಮ್ಮಂಗೆ ನಗು ತಡೆದು ಕೊಳ್ಳೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಯ್ತು..

ಬದುಕು ನಿರಂತರ

2008-09-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hi,
This is one of my poems which I think needs some explanation of the context.The poem below depicts our thoughts every time we face some problem or a challenge. We , all of us get some thoughts(may be Nobel or weired ) before facing a problem and those thougts vary from one mind to the other, one situation to the other. We all overcome the -ve thoughts and move forward.. right??
Hmmm.. so I have put those (kind of) thoughts in this poem taking blowing wind (1st para), flowing water stream(2nd para) and blooming bud(3rd para) as my chatacters.. as if they are thinking before blowing, flowing and blooming resptly..
Hope you ll enjoy it. Now I give my poem to You.
ಬದುಕು ನಿರಂತರ

ಹಾದು ಹೋಗುವ ಮೊದಲು
ಸುತ್ತೆಲ್ಲ ನೋಡಿದೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆ
ಸುಟ್ಟು ನಿಂತಿದೆ ಬಟ್ಟ ಬಯಲು,
ಬೆಂಕಿ ಆರಿದರೂ ಕಾವಿನ್ನೂ ಇಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ
ಕೆಂಡ ಕೆಂಪಲ್ಲ...
ಕಪ್ಪೂ ಅಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ!!??
ಅಹ್!!
ನನಗೇಕೆ ಕೆಂಡದ ಬಣ್ಣ ಬೇಕು?
ಬೆಂಕಿಯ ಬಿಸಿ ಸುಡದೆ ಹೋದರೆ ಸಾಕು.
ಗ್ಜೂಂಗುಡುತ್ತಾ, ಕಾವು ನುಂಗುತ್ತಾ ಬೀಸಿಹೋದೆ..
ಸುಟ್ಟಿದೆ,
ಆದರೆ ಗಾಯವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ.

ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಯಿಡುವ ಮೊದಲು
ಒಂದು ನಿಮಿಷ ನಿಂತುಕೊಂಡೆ
ಪಾಚಿಗಟ್ಟಿದೆ ಆಳದ ನೆಲ
ಹೆಣೆದು ನಿಂತಿದೆ ಹಸಿರು ಜಾಲ
ಸಿಕ್ಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಿಡುತ್ತೇನೆ??
ಮುಳುಗಿ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೇನೆ?
ಏನು ಮಾಡಲಿ?
ಹಿಂದೆ ಸರಿಯಲೆ?
ಛೆ!!
ಎಚ್ಚರಿಕೆಯಿಂದ ಇದ್ದರಾಯಿತು,
ಜಾರಿದರೆ, ಎದ್ದು ಹೊರಟರಾಯಿತು,
ಕುಲುಕುತ್ತಾ,ತಳುಕುತ್ತಾ ಹರಿದುಹೋದೆ...
ಕಾಲು ಜಾರಿತು,
ಬಿದ್ದು ಗಾಯವೂ ಆಯಿತು..
ಆದರೆ ಗಯದ ಅಚ್ಚಿಲ್ಲ.

ಅರಳುವ ಮೊದಲು
ಕಣ್ಮುಚ್ಚಿ ನಿಂತೆ
ಗಾಳಿಯ ತಂಪಿಗೆ ಮೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡುಕವಿದೆ,
ದೂರದ ಕೆಂಪು ಬಿಸಿಲು ನನ್ನೇ ಹುಡುಕಿ ಹೊರಟಂತಿದೆ,
ಮುದುರಿ ಬಿಡುತ್ತೇನಲ್ಲ?
ಉದುರಿ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೇನಲ್ಲ??!!
ಏನು ಮಾಡಲಿ?
ಅಹ್!! ನನ್ನಂತೆ ನೂರಾರು,
ಎಲ್ಲರಂತೆ ನನದೂ ಚೂರು ಪಾರು,
ಇರುವಷ್ಟು ಹೊತ್ತೂ ನಕ್ಕು ಬಿಡುತ್ತೇನೆ,
ರಸ ಹಂಚಿ ಜೇನಾಗುತ್ತೇನೆ.
ಅರಳಿ ನಿಂತೆ...
ಕೆಂಪು ಬಿಸಿಲು ತಂಪಾಗುವ ವೇಳೆಗೆ
ಉದುರಿಯೂ ಹೋದೆ..

ಆದರೂ ನನಗಿಲ್ಲ ಬೇಸರ..
ಬದುಕು ನಿರಂತರ.

2008-09-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

ಬಾನೆತ್ತರಕ್ಕೆ ಹಾರುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು
ಮುಗಿಲ ಮುಟ್ಟೇಬಿಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ಇನ್ನೇನು
ನೀಲಿ ಬಣ್ಣಕ್ಕೆ ಕಣ್ತುಂಬ ಬೆಳಕು
ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಹರಡಿದೆ ಹತ್ತಿಯ ತುಣುಕು
ಕೈಯಳತೆಯಲ್ಲಿತ್ತು ತಾರೆ
ಜೋತು ನಿಂತ ಚಂದ್ರನಿಗಿಲ್ಲ ಆಸರೆ
ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲೇ.. ಅಲ್ಲೇನೋ ಹೊಸತು!!
ಬೆಳಕಲ್ಲೂ ಹೊಳೆವ ಬೆಳಕು
ಕಣ್ತೆರೆಯಲಾರದಷ್ಟು ಹೊಳಪು..
ಹಿಂದಿನಿಂದ ಮುಂದಿನಿಂದ
ಅಕ್ಕದಿಂದ ಪಕ್ಕದಿಂದ..
ಸುರಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು ಬೆಳ್ಳಗಿನ ಹೊನಲು
ಅದು ಮರೆಯಾಯ್ತು...
ತಾನಾಗಿಯೇ ಕತ್ತಲಾಯ್ತು..
ಜೋತು ನಿಂತ ಚಂದ್ರ ಬಾನಾದ
ತಾರೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಕರಗಿ ಇಬ್ಬನಿಯಾಯ್ತು
ಅರೆರೆ!!
ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಚಂದ್ರ!!
ಎಷ್ಟೊಂದು ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ!!
ಒಂದು, ಎರಡು, ಮೂರು,
ನೂರು, ಸಾವಿರ, ಲಕ್ಷ..
ಎಣಿಸಿದಷ್ಟೂ ಕಡಿಮಿಯೇ ಏನೋ..
ಅವುಗಳಷ್ಟು ಅಂಕಿಗಳೂ ಇಲ್ಲವೇನೋ...
ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ ಕದ್ದೆ,
ಅಂಗಳಕೆ ತಂದು ಚುಕ್ಕಿಯಿಟ್ಟೆ,
ಬೆಳಗಾಗುವುದರೋಳಗೆ ಅದೋ..
ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಚಂದದ ರಂಗೋಲಿ!!
ಅರೆರೆ.. ಮೇಲೆ ನೋಡಿದರೆ ಬಾನೆಲ್ಲ ಖಾಲಿ ಖಾಲಿ..
ಒಲೆಯ ಕೆಂಪು ಕೆಂಡವನ್ನೂದಿ ಎಸೆದುಬಿಟ್ಟೆ,
’ರವಿ’ ಎಂದು ಹೆಸರಿಟ್ಟು ಆಗಸಕ್ಕೆ ದತ್ತುಕೊಟ್ಟೆ
ಅಷ್ಟಿಷ್ಟು ನಗುವನ್ನುಮಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಹರಡಿದೆ
ಮಣ್ಣು ಗಿಡವಾಯ್ತು
ಹಸಿರು ಎಲೆ- ಚಿಗುರಾಯ್ತು
ಬಣ್ಣ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಹೂವಾಯ್ತು
ನಗುವಿಂದ ಹೂವೋ, ಹೂವಿಂದ ನಗುವೋ???
ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಕ್ಕೆ..
ಮೊಗ್ಗರಳಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹೂವಾಯ್ತು
ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಧ್ವನಿ
"ನಿವೇದಿತಾ ಏಳು ಹೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತು.."

My mind

2008-09-19T05:23:00.002-07:00

Probably i have changed..
Thats wat making me feel u have changed...
I feel like sharing the space the same way i had, a few years ago...
I feel lik hiding deep down into time again, wer u could just here me..
in all silence around...
I feel lik laughing with you, the same smile u got them on my lips those days...
I feel lik dreaming those dreams..
today the ones r true..
I feel lik crying with screams again
for wat I lost n for al that i gained...
I feel lik walking with u, lik the first time I walked
on the same roads n the same shops..
with a rose in hand n so much to talk..
I Feel to open up my wings, as if the first time I fly,
Little worried, little excited, little scared with wide opened eye.
I wish I cud move lik the wind,
No stop, no start not a beginning with no end…
To search for something,
probably a target?
A milestone? A path ? the success?
Or possibly just wander n do nothing.
I want no memories to live but all of them to make again
U n me.. The same u n me..
But in different today, different tomorrow...
n in different time..

ಕವಿಗೊಂದು ಸಾಲು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು

2008-09-18T02:33:00.003-07:00

ಕವಿಗೊಂದು ಸಾಲು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು
ಸಾಲವಾದರೂ ಸರಿ
ಭಾವಗಳಿಗೆ ಭಾಷೆ ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು

ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಹುಡುಕಿದರೂ
ಅಂತರಾಳವೆಲ್ಲ ಖಾಲಿ ಖಾಲಿ
ಬರಿದಾದ ಮನಸಿಗೆಕೋ ಏನೋ
ಅಂಗೈ ಅಗಲದ ಚಾವಿ
ಕಷ್ಟ ಕಾಲಕ್ಕಾಗಲಿ ಎಂದು
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಬಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು
ಅದೆಲ್ಲಿ ಇಟ್ಟನೋ ಕವಿ
ಕವಿತೆ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಯಿತು...

ಕವಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು ಕಂಬನಿ ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು
ಸಾಲವಾದರೂ ಸರಿ
ಮನದ ಭಾರ ಇಳಿಸ ಬೆಕಿತ್ತು.

ನೋವ ನುಂಗುವುದು ಗಂಟಲ ನರ..
ತುಟಿಗಳಿಗೇನು,
ನಗುತ್ತಲೇ ಇರುತ್ತವೆ!!!
ಮೂಕವಾಗಿದ್ದು ಎದೆಯ ಸ್ವರ..
ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳಿಗೇನು,
ಮಾತನಾಡುತ್ತಲೇ ಇರುತ್ತವೆ!!!

ಕವಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು ಕನಸು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು
ಸಾಲವಾದರೂ ಸರಿ
ನೆನಪುಗಳಿಗೆ ನೆರಳು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು.

Dream Box

2008-09-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

Hi,
Well.. looks like i have got starting problem. Anyways.. This is my DREAM BOX. I keep my dreams here, warm inside my heart. protecting it from the cold pain, 'coz I love my dreams..love them more than anything under the sun.
Once I was out with my friend for a walk. As usual we started fighting.. at the end he told me, " Nivi, U know wats ur problem?? U think n Dream a lot".
I was too angry n egoistic to accept it then.. but wen i came back to my room.. I realised.. he was rite.
off course I dream alot n think more than that!! But tell me one thing.. wats life without dreams? Without something to chase every day??
So i Put all my beautiful and precious dreams, thoughts and watever here.. to MY DREAM BOX so that they wont get lost in this practical n materialistic REAL WORLD.
Come peep into my DREAM BOX if it interests you...
Well Come to My DREAM BOX.