ಮಳೆ.. ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ?

ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಮತ್ತೆ ಒದ್ದೆ, ಒದ್ದೆ.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದ ಈ ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು.I like the way it is so wet, gray and cloudy these days.ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಒಂದು walk ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ. ಹತ್ತಿರದಲ್ಲೇ ಒಂದು tea-house ಇದೆ. I am reading Nicholas Sparks these days.. "The Notebook" is my favourite.ಇಂಥ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಆ tea-house ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತು ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನನಗಿಷ್ಟವಾದ ಸಾಲುಗಳನ್ನ ಓದತೀನಿ. ಚಿಟ-ಪಿಟ ಅಂತಾ ಮಳೆಯ ಸದ್ದು, ಯಾವಾಗ ಒಂದು ಲಯವಾಗಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೋ.. ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲ್ಲ.. ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತರೂ, ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಉದುರೋ ಹನಿ ಹನಿ.. ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ.. ಕಪ್ಪೂ ಅಲ್ಲಾ, ನೀಲಿಯೂ ಅಲ್ಲದ.. gray ಆಕಾಶ.. I dont know why.. I always get mesmerised by it. I like this.. this wet and gray combination.. Its beautiful..
After a point of time.. ನನ್ನ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವೂದೇ ಯೋಚನೇಗಳೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. I am blank and empty.. ಒಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು.. ಮಳೆಗೆ ಈ ಥರದ magic ಯಾರು ಕಲಿಸಿಕೊಟ್ಟರೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. It takes over all the sounds.. ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿರೋ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ, ಹೊರಗೆ roadನಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇರೋ ಗಾಡಿಗಳ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ.. Rain takes over it. ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೇನೋ magic ಇದೆ.. It gives you life.. a faith to hang on to.. A dream to beleive.. A magic which promises miracles.. A LIFE to move on no mater what happens.. its till continues to pour its melody on you..
I sometimes ask myself.. specially times when I am you know my life is standing still.. there is nothing HAPPENING about it.. None of my dreams come true.. Times when I have difficulty in beleiving myself.. Times when I need, badly need something to beleive that things will change.. Its this Rain which gives me strength.. ಮಳೆ.. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೂ.. ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದು ಭರವಸೆ ಇದೆ ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ಮಳೆ..

"ಹರಿವ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು..
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??
ಬರೆವ ಪ್ರತೀ ಗೆರೆಯೂ
ಅದಾರದೋ ಆಕಾರ
ನನ್ನದೇ ಬೆರಳು
ಗೀಚಿಟ್ಟ ಸಾಲುಗಳು..
ನನ್ನದೇ ದನಿ
ನನಗೇ ಗುರುತಿಲ್ಲಿ..
ಕಡೆಗೂ ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಕಾಯ್ತು...
ಮೌನಕ್ಕೆ ಬೆಲೆಯೆಷ್ಟು??
ನನಗೋಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು..
ನಾನು ಮುಗಿದರೂ
ಈ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೋತ್ತರ ಮುಗಿಯದು..
ಈ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರಾದರೂ....
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??"

ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ...

"Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday dear Niviiiii....
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu...."

ನನ್ನ birthday celebration... ನನ್ನ room-mates ಚಂದದ cake ತಂದಿದಾರೆ... ನನಗೋಸ್ಕರ roomನೆಲ್ಲ decorate ಮಾಡಿದಾರೆ....
"Hey.. Nivi... Make a wish.."

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"ಓಯ್!!! ಏನ್ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೋ?? ನಾಳೆ ನಂಗೆ office ಇದೆ.. ಈ ರಾತ್ರಿಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ??"
"Nivvi.. ಎಷ್ಟು questions ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ... ಸುಮ್ನೆ ಬಾ..ನಂಗೆ bike ride ಮಾಡೊಕೆ ತೊಂದ್ರೆ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ.. "
"he he he... ಒಳ್ಳೆ joke!!!Please ಕಣೋ.. ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದೀವಿ ಅಂತಾನಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ಈ ಥರಾ ಹನ್ನೂಂದುವರೆ -ಯಷ್ಟೋತ್ತಿಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿಯಾ??"
"ನಿಂಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇದೆ ಅಲ್ವಾ??"
"ಅರೆ, ನಂಬಿಕೆ.. ಹ್ಮ..."
"ಸರಿ ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಈಗ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ನನ್ನ ಘಟ್ಟಿ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತ್ಗೋ.. ok??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... ಸರಿ.. ಈ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಈಥರ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ... wel.. its really a 'WOW' feeling ಕಣೋ.."
ಕನ್ನಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ expression ಕಾಣಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಬೆನ್ನಿಗೇ ಅಂಟಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿ, ಕಣ್ಣ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡೆ.. ತಣ್ಣನೆ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ಮನಸ್ಸು ತಂಪಾದ ಅನುಭವ...

ನಿನ್ನೆದೆಗೆ ನನ್ನಾನಿಸಿಕೋ ಗೆಳೆಯ,
ಬರಡಾದ ಭೂಮಿ ಚಿಗುರಿಕೊಂಡೀತು.
ಮುತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ಕರೆದುಬಿಡು ಹೆಸರ,
ತಂಪು ತಂಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಬಿಸಿಯೇರೀತು.

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"Oye!!! where you lost Madam?? Make a wish.. make a wish... Blow the candles.."
"yes.. come on.."

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"Nivvi.. ಈಗ ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.. I will have to blindfold you..."
"Blind fold??? Please ಕಣೋ... ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ?? Tell me whats happening??"
"ಆಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮೂರ್ಛೆ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಬರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು ನೋಡು... You ask too many questions.. Now ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.."
"Agh!!!! Ok... ಆ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಗೇನಾದ್ರು ಆದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹೊಣೆ.."
"Ok, baba.. ಈಗ ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ನಡಿ... and follow my instructions.. ಸರಿನಾ??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... Ok.. ನೀನೊ, ನಿನ್ನ suprisesಓ..."

ಕಣ್ಣ ಮೇಲೊಮ್ಮೆ ಸವರಿಬಿಡು ಕೈಯ,
ಬಣ್ಣದ ಕನಸು ಮೂಡೀತು
ಒಂಚೂರು ಹಂಚಿಬಿಡು ಉಸಿರ,
ಇಂಚಿಂಚಲೂ ಕಂಪು ಹರಡೀತು.

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"Nivvi.. How was the cake??"
"Nivvi.. Tell us what wish did you make??"
"Arey.. She must have wished for a handsome husband... he he he.."

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"So... This is it.. Open your eyes.. Nivvi.."
ನಾನು ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಕಣ್ಣು ತರೆದಿದ್ದೆ....
WooooooWWWWW..!!!! I was speechless..
what a beautiful lake...
ಕೆರೆ, ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಉದರತಾ ಇರೋ ಮಳೆ ಹನಿ, ಆ ಸೂಯ್ ಅನ್ನೋ ಗಾಳಿಯ ನವಿರಾದ ಸದ್ದು, ಜೊತೆಗೇ ಹರಡಿರೋ ಒದ್ದೆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಕಂಪು,ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ, ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ಕೈ, ನಡಗತಾ ಇರೋ ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಿ ಹಿಡಿದ ನೀನು...
ಅಷ್ಟೋಂದು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯೇನೋ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??
ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನಿಗೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣ ಸಣ್ಣ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ, ಗುಲಾಬಿ-ಕೆಂಪು ಬಣ್ಣದ ಹಗುರು ಮೋಡ... ಆಕಾಶದ ಬಿಂಬ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಿಂತ ಕೆರೆಯ ನೀರು....
ಅಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??

ತಂಪು ರಾತ್ರಿ,
ನಿನ್ನ ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಚಂದ್ರ
ಇಣುಕಿ ನೋಡುವ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ
ನಾನು ನೀನಾಗಲು ಇನ್ನೇನು ಬೇಕು??

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"Nivvi... So what plans for the day??"
"Hey.. chalo.. lets dance.. Nivvi.. tell us your favourite song.. lets dance.."

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"ನನಗೇನು ಹೇಳಲಿ ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತಾಗತಾ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ..."
"Nivvi... " ನನ್ನ ಕಿವಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತಿರದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು.. ಆ ಬಿಸಿ ಉಸಿರಿಗೆ ನನ್ನೆದೆ ಒಂದು ಘಳಿಗೆ ನಿಂತಂತಾಗಿತ್ತು...
"Nivvi.. ಏನೂ ಹೇಳಬೇಡ.."
ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನ jacketನಿಂದ ಒಂದು pastry ತೆಗೆದೆ ನೀನು, ಪುಟ್ಟ ಪುಟ್ಟ candles, ನನಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟವಾದ White and pink Lillies...
"Happy birthday My Love..." ಮತ್ತೆ ಪಿಸಿಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ, ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನಡಿವಿನ ಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಕೇಳದಂತೆ..
ನಿನ್ನ ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹತ್ತಿರ ಕರೆದು, ಘಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿದೆ ನಾನು..
"Thank you.." ಮತ್ತೇನೂ ನನ್ನಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಡಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ...
I ws speechless.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ you would me make me fall in love with you very moment.. each and Every moment...
I fell in Love with you everytime.. as if it was the very first time...
"I Love YOU.. Nivvi..." ನಿನ್ನ ಧ್ವನಿಯೊಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ನನಗೆ ಇಡೀ ಜಗತ್ತಿನ ಪರಿವೇ ಇರಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಅದು ಯಾವಗ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಹನಿ ಉದುರಿತೋ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ, ಆ ಥರ... ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡತಿದ್ದೆ???
I was too much filled with emotions... and you were looking at me as if you understood every bit of it..
I hugged you close.. very close to my heart...
ಆಕಾಶದಡಿ, ಆ ಕೆರೆಯ ದಡದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪುಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು...

ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ, ಅದರ ರೀತಿಗೆ
ಕಣ್ಣ ಹನಿಗಳೆ ಕಾಣಿಕೆ...

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"Oye.. Nivvi..."
"Haan?? Yes.. AUhmmm... I would like to listen to.. Ahmmm.. Any song.. Any.."

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ನೂರಾರು ಮಾತು,
ಏಷ್ಟೋಂದು ನಗು,
ಕಡೆಗೊಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು..
ನಾಳೆಯ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ನೀನಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ!!!!

ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕಿನ್ನೂ ನಾನು

ಹನಿಹನಿಯ ಮಳೆ ಹನಿ..
ಕೆನ್ನೆ ಮೇಲೆ..
ಕಣ್ಣೆತ್ತಿ ನೋಡಿದರೆ
ದಟ್ಟ ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನು..
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕಿನ್ನೂ ನಾನು..
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು..
ಒಂದು ಕನಸು..
ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ನೆನೆವ
ಒಂದು ಮನಸ್ಸು..
ಹರಡಿದರೆ ಬೆಳ್ಳಗಿನ
ರೆಕ್ಕೆಯಾಗುವ ಬೆರಳು
ಎದೆಯಲಿ ಉಸಿರಂತೆ
ತುಂಬುವ ನೆನೆಪುಗಳು
ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಂಡ
ಬಣ್ಣದ ಊರು..
ಅದಾರದೋ ಎದುರಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆತ
ಮಾತು ನೂರಾರು
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಡುವ ನೆರಳು..
ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟು ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಡುವ ದನಿ
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕು ಇನ್ನೂ..
ಜೊತೆಗಿರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು...
ಇಬ್ಬರಾದರೂ ಒಬ್ಬರಾದಂತ ನಾನು..
ನನ್ನೊಡನೆ ಹಗುರಾಗುವ ಬಾನು..

Beep, Beep

Me: "Uff!! Just finished packing.. all alone.. feels so wow!!"
She: "grt.. bt alone feels wow??"
Me: "Ys!! Feels so independent, so.. confident.."
She: "Hmm.. after a long time my roommate is here.. feels good to have someone around"
Me: "Hmm.. feels good only if u have someone worth having.."
She:" Nivi.. Its ok.. dont think so much.."
Me: "Hmmm.."
She: "I think u r becoming too independent.. so much that u feel nobody is worth having around" Me : "Ahh!! what ever.. I m enjoying myself"
She: " Nivi.. U cant be alone all ur life.."
Me: "Does it matter??"
She: "Yes it does.."
Me: "whatever.. y do u want to speak abt it now?? I m tired.. Just finished packing..
I even gotta shift my room.. I dont even have a boyfriend who is gonna help me out.. "
She: "Hmmm.. K.."
Me: "So you coming on 17,18th to blore??"
She: "Wel.. I want to come. But i dono if i can.. u know i have this project.."
Me: "Ya.. I know.. I ll call kati,shrado, juhi,manik also.. I just want all of us
to meet again.."
She: "Ya.. but dont keep high expectations nivi.. if I cant.. "
Me: "I ll understand..I m used to disappointments..he he he.. kidding.."
She: "wats so kidding abt it??!! :\"
Me: "Ok baba, U plz.. try to come.."
She: "ya.. i will.. anyways.. if I cant.. Paggu is with u.."
Me: "Ya.. I she is.."
She: "Hmmm.. Nivi.. dont become so much independent yaa.. i m scared for u.."
Me: "Arey.. nothing like that.. i m fine.. ABSOLUTELY FINE!!"
She: "Hmmm.. So when u shifting to ur new PG?"
Me: "Its just 12:30.. will have food, take a nap, freshen up n then leave by 4 or 5"
She:"Oh... PG mein aakhri baar khana"
Me: "Ya.. now.. madam..my msgs cost me!!"
She: "Thats ok.. U dont even have a boyfrn to chat or call.. ;) "
Me: "Mere akelepan ka fhayda utha rahi ho tum.. ;) "
She: "He he he.."
Me: "K then.. Make sure u have ur tickets for 17,18th.. bye"
She:"Will try my best.. n ya.. happy shifting n all the best for the new one!! Bye"
Me: "Thx.. Bye.."

Lost in your memories

It was all so set in my mind. I had rehearsed this ‘The-moment’ for some 1000 times a day. I had it all clear. When I met you I would come to you, little nervous as I get always every time I think of you, and offer you a handshake with a little tensed smile on my face and lots of admiration in my eyes. You would also shake my hand and ask me a very natural question
“Hi.. How do I know you??”
I would say in a little trembling voice,
“Hi.. you don’t know me.. but.. I know everything about you.. Every damn thing”
You would still have so much of questions in your mind and I would read them in my mind. I would realize that you are in-need of clarification, so I would say
“Well, It’s a long story. Please let me explain over a cup of coffee??”
and you would say
“Ok”

From there after I didn’t know, If you would believe what I told you, or I didn’t know how I would convince you.. But all I needed is to speak to you. Speak to you once and let you know what was happening with me. But, I didn’t know that I would meet you like this…

I knew that you will come to this music concert. I knew every thought that would cross your mind. My mind was like your mind. I mean, a part of my mind had become your mind. I was able to know every thought you thought. Every move you want to make. I knew what was running in your mind when your boss called you for a meeting or when you saw a beautiful girl on the road, or when you had confusions regarding what to eat, what to buy, what to do on a week end. I knew exactly how you felt for your friends, your parents, your ex.. you still loved her.. I knew how you felt when you got any news from her. Well.. for me it was like my own mind. I knew your past. I had all the memories that you have. The memories of your first kiss, your sister’s first birthday gift, the memories of your basketball games, your college days.. everything. You had become a part of me. You were there in my mind all the time. It was as if I were you. I had lived inside your body.

I didn’t believe in déjà vu or anything like that. I was a true believer in myself. I never even gave a thought to consider the thought of the existence, non-existence of God, the yes-No of rebirths etc. And déjà vu.. ah!!! Had never even heard of it. And then suddenly I started experiencing some unknown thoughts. Thoughts that are not mine. Memories of incidents that I never experienced. It had all started after my accident. I had one of the very common blood groups O+ve. But the blood bank didn’t have O+ve, none of my friends were of O+ve blood group.. they all thought I ll die if I was not filled with blood immediately. I was there, all unconscious not knowing what was happening around. And then I felt something.. I felt something flowing inside me.. something very wet. I felt light.. I felt as if I was flying.. to where.. I don’t know.. I didnt care.My eyes were still closed.. but what I saw was something that was so beautiful than any other thing I saw with my open eyes.. so green, so wet.. it was raining.. I was in a forest.. around me there were so many trees, plants so beautiful flowers, the sound of that rain.. I felt I was in heaven in its rainy season. I saw a big bungalow.. It was one of those forest cottages.. all alone in the deep forests.. It was beautiful.. I went inside.. and then.. I saw you.. you stood there smiling, waiting for me to hold your hands and pull you out to get wet… we were getting wet.. I could smell you.. your body had a typical fragrance.. one of its own.. And then… I heard myself breathing heavy breaths.. I was alive.

After this blood donation of yours I started feeling you in me. I saw your thoughts very clearly like I saw mine.Evn though we didn’t know each other, I had come to know all your friends,relatives.. everyone you have met and have memories of… I could see you remembering your best friends when you missed them, I would feel nostalgic when you were. I knew you like You knew yourself. I saw you so many times in my mind. Soooo now and then. I had to concentrate on my own thoughts to know what I was thinking, but your thoughts would come to me as if they were my own. So easily accessible. I had gained your knowledge in books, music and basket ball. No..I was not a basket ball player, but I knew every detail of it as if I was the one in your body who had the ball in basket in your high school and college days.

I didn’t know where you lived. But I could see you walking around. The place didn’t look familiar to me. I had a curiosity to see you physically. I wanted to tell you what was happening to me. I even tried meeting you twice. I knew you attended a classical music concert every Saturday. I had it all planned to come and meet you. But there was a strange fear. I was scared for what if you didn’t believe me? What if you thought I was insane? What if you.. you just thought I was some desperate girl trying to get you?? Ah!! So many what ifs.. I was scared.

But then its been 2 months I have started seeing you romancing with me. I don’t know if they were your thoughts or mine. I would see you with a big bunch of red roses in hand, kneeling down and proposing me. I would see you and me on a long drive on a full moon. I saw you singing for me, playing guitar in a café with a smile.. me and you walking along the river. Well.. I think these are my own thoughts. I knew you so well that I was falling for you. I started loving you. It was not just the curiosity that made me desperate to meet you, it was also the beautiful person that you were, the ability in you to love someone so deep, the ‘YOU’ in you.. that was driving me crazy. I was surely falling for you. I had to meet you.

So there I was, rehearsing the scene of our meeting in my mind 1000 times a day, just to know that we were not supposed to meet the way I thought we would. I had seen you walking through the entrance. I was already in my seat. I was getting restless. I knew you wore black a T-shirt and Blue Jeans.. I saw that in your mind, you choosing the T- shirt. I knew exactly what you were thinking when you were riding your bike. You had an instinct.. as if something big is going to happen with you. I smiled to myself when I saw that thought of yours. When you entered, I saw you searching for a seat. Little did I know that you were seated just next to me!!!! I didn’t know what to say when you asked,
“Hi.. That’s my seat.. A-12”
Well… this was not how it was supposed to be. I didn’t get a word to speak. You were so near to me. I tried to read your mind… No.. Nothing.. Silence.. I tried again… Nothing again. I didn’t realize that I was starring at you and not speaking anything. I had come back to my mind when you asked again with that heavy voice of yours..
“Excuse me.. you ok?? This is my seat..which is yours??”
I was lost again. I was hearing your voice. Something that I had never known about you before. I didn’t even think how your voice would be.. I always listed your memories, thoughts in my voice. You had a very impressive voice, one of those that suits the RJs. Very clear, very heavy, very thick.. I was lost again. You said again, a little irritated this time..
“Excuse me…”
I came back from my own Riviera and said..
“Oh!! I m sorry.. I didn’t know.. My seat is A-11”
You smiled.
“That’s ok.. can you move please??”
“yeah sure” I said.
The music started. I tried to read your mind again to know what was it thinking. Did you think I was beautiful?? Did you think I was dumb?? I wanted know it all.. but.. I couldn’t read it. Hear it, see it.. as if there was some wall built between us. Now that I was so near to you.. should I tell you about the happenings of mine?? Would you believe?? What if you asked me to tell what is going on in your mind right now?? Why am I not able to hear to your thoughts?? I was getting irritated, restless, as if I have lost something and I am not able to remember where I have kept it. Ah!!! I tried hard, very hard to read your thoughts. I tried to remember your memories.. I failing everytime. What had happened?? I had to know the answers. I thought to myself,
“No, Not today.. I ll have to come back to him only after I got ansswers to my questions.”
I got up from my seat. Smiled at you. You smiled back. I started walking towards the exit…
What was it that was happening to me???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P. S: Hi all.. actually I wanted to end the story right here... but somehow, I was not able to find a proper ending. I was too much influenced by Stepene Mayer, Cecilia Ahren, Nicholas sparks when I was writing this. well.. so just waiting to get over with that influence and write something 'very much mine'. Will surely come up with something to end this story.
Till then Bye..
See you all again.

ತಲೆಗಳಿ

Dear Dreambox,

’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’- ತಲೆಮಾರು/ವಂಶಾವಳಿ.

Well ಈಗ್ಯಾಕೆ ಈ ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’ ಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ Grammer details ಕೊಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ನೀನು ಯೋಚಿಸ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿಯಾ.. ಅಲ್ವಾ? Well, ಈಗ ನಾನು ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೀನಿ. ಶಿರಸಿಯಲ್ಲಿ. ನಿನ್ನೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ. So you must have got the hint.. right??Right.. ಆ ಪುಸ್ತಕದ ಹೆಸರು ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’. ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರ- ದಿ ವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿ.

ನನಗೆ ಈ ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಯಾಕೆ attract ಮಾಡ್ತು ಗೊತಾ?? ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ’ಹವ್ಯಕ’ ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿದೆ. ನಿರೂಪಣೆ ಸಾದಾ ಕನ್ನಡ(ಗ್ರಾಂಥಿಕ ಕನ್ನಡ)ದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದು character ಕೂಡ ಇಲ್ಲಿಯ local ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತಾಡುತ್ವೆ.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಮೊತ್ತೊಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಇದರ ದೇಶವ್ಯಾಪ್ತಿ. Well.. 'ದೇಶವ್ಯಾಪ್ತಿ' sounds so big.. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೋ ಊರುಗಳು, ಶಿರಸಿ,ಸಿದ್ಧಾಪುರ,ಬಿಳಗಿ ಸೀಮೆಯ ಊರುಗಳು. ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡಯುವ ಪ್ರತಿಯೋಂದು ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶವೂ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ್ಯ ಪೂರ್ವದ್ದು.ಆಗಿನ ಕಾಲದ ಹವ್ಯಕರನ್ನೂ ಸೇರಿದಂತೆ, ಅಡಿಕೆ ಬೆಳೆಗಾರರ,ಆರ್ಥಿಕ,ಸಾಮಾಜಿಕ, ಭಾವನಾತ್ಮಕ ನೆಲೆಗಟ್ಟಿನ(baseline) ಮೇಲೆ ಹೆಣೆಯಲ್ಪಟ್ಟಿದೆ. ಇಲ್ಲಿನ characterಗಳು ಪ್ರಾದೇಶಿಕ ನೆಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬದುಕಿನ ಸಂಕೀರ್ಣತೆಯನ್ನು ಹೊತ್ತು,ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತುಂಬಾ ಕಾಲ ಅಚ್ಚಳಿಯದೆ ಉಳಿದುದಿಡುವಂತಿದೆ. So, This novel is not just another novel with an exciting storyline. This is a piece of history, folkore and everything about 'That time'.

ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಯಕ್ಷಗಾನ,ಗಮಕ,ತಾಳ-ಮದ್ದಲೆ ಸಾಂಸ್ಕೃತಿಕ ಪ್ರಾಕರಕಳೊಂದಿಗೆ, ಕೃಷಿ,ಅಡುಗೆ ನಡುವಳಿಕೆಗಳ ಮಾದರಿಯನ್ನ ಅನುಭವಿಸಬಹುದು. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ ಮುಖ್ಯ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳಾದ ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯ ಹೆಗಡೆ ಮತ್ತು ಅವನ ಹೆಂಡತಿಯಾದ ಸರಸ್ವತಿ, ಅವರ ನಡುವಿನ ಸರಸ ದಾಂಪತ್ಯ, ಅಂತರ್ಗತ ಪ್ರೇಮಭಾವ, ಸರಳ ಮುಗ್ಧತೆ ಈ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಾರಣಗಳಿಂದ, all of us can see a part of ourselves in them.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯ storyline ಏನು ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯ ಹೆಗಡೆಯ ಜೀವನ. ಅವನ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಸಂವೃದ್ಧವಾದ ಜೀವನ, ದಾರಿದ್ರ್ಯ ವಾಗಿ turn ಆಗೋದು, and then ಮತ್ತೆ ಅವನು ತಾನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಪಡೆಯೋದು.. and everythying in between this journey.

ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರರಾದ ದಿವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿಯವರ ಮತ್ತೋಂದು ವಿಶೇಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಯಾವುದನ್ನೂ ವಾಚ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಹೇಳದೇ ಓದುಗನ ಕಲ್ಪನೆಗೆ ಬಿಡುವಂಥದ್ದು. ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಬರೊ ಶೈಲಜೆ ಮತ್ತು ಸುಬ್ಬರಾಯನ ನಡುವಿನ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಇದಕ್ಕೋಂದು ಉದಾಹರಣೆ.

ಯಕ್ಷಗಾನ ಪ್ರಿಯರಿಗಂತು ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿ, ಹೋಳಿಗೆ ಊಟದ ಹಾಗಿದೆ. Well.. ’ತಲೆಗಳಿ’ also has some drawbacks as it goes a little dramatic sometimes.. and a little 'too much to believe ' ಅನ್ನಿಸುವಂತಹ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶಗಳು.. ಆದ್ರೆ Its Ok.. and they are negligible.

ಈ ಕಾದಂಬರಿಯನ್ನ ಓದತಾ ಇದ್ರೆ, ಎಲ್ಲೋ ನಾನೂ ಅವರ ನಡುವೆ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಅನ್ನಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರುವಾಗುತ್ತೆ.S.. Its worth a read.

The other stats of the book is as below.

ಕಾದಂಬರಿಕಾರ: ದಿವಿ.ಟಿ.ಹೆಗಡೆ ಶೀಗೇಹಳ್ಳಿ.

ಪ್ರಕಾಶಕರು: ಅಕ್ಷರ ಪ್ರಕಾಶನ, ಹೆಗ್ಗೋಡು.

ಬೆಲೆ: 300 ರೂ.

ಸರಿ ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಸಿಗೋಣ.

Bye :)

Someone.. Who is Me..

I am sure, I was dreaming... I was writing in somebody's slambook...

I was filling the blank which said

I want to become ______

I filled it with my lines.. "I want to become like a feable sound of the heartbeat.. which is heard only in silence..."

I woke up with that..

A question mark in my head.. why did I write that??