The sand I walked on, is back in my shoes… -2

“Kati.. I want to watch a movie.. shall we go for LCMD?” I asked Kati who was sitting on the front bench ,we were in Java lecture.
I usually sat with sweetoo and kati. We 3 sat on a bench but today vidya was alone.so kati had to shift to her bench.
“Niviiiiiiiiiii.. we have LLaaaabbbb internals today afternoon” She whispered.
“I know.. but I am in no mood to attend it” I said.
Sweetoo who was sitting next to me asked me to sit quite as sir was noticing us,but then who cares?? We continued..
“Well.. I am also not in mood..” Kati said.
“hey you have good marks in Lab IA..rite??” sweetoo asked me.
“Not exactly… I have scored 20 in last IA” I said.
“Hmm. We have 3rd IA also we can actually bunk the labs..” sweetoo said.
“Are you people crazy??” Kati asked turning back to us.
Sir caught us. He asked us to keep quite. We decided we ll speak after the class. We were waiting for the class to end. I was atleast so restless when there were some 5-10 minutes for the class to get over.

“Ok.. so we going for the movie rite???” I asked after the class.
“well.. ok then.. lets go..” Kati agreed.
“Good.. but which one??” Sweetoo wanted to know the movie.
“Hmmm… how abt LCMD??” I said.
“LCMD??? Laga chunari mein daag??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You mad???? Its bbbbaaaaadddd movie” Sweetoo said.
“arey no.. its not all that bad.. you know that CS frnd of mine..” I had not even completed the sentence but sweetoo interrupted
“Who???? That Pandu?? Did he tell you that the movie is good?? If so then we NOT going for that movie okay.. I have told you now only..”
“Arrey yaar.. he said that the movie is watchable..” I said.
“Noways.. I am not going to trust him ok..” Sweetoo said.
“Please re Sweetoo… lets go no…. “ I tried to make her say yes..
“Wel.. theres no other movie released.. so we ll have to go to that movie only” Kati said.
“If that movie happens to be a torture.. I wont leave you see nivi..” Sweetoo said with anger.
“Ok baba.. shall we go?? Are we not getting late for the movie??” I asked.
“haan.. but ruko… we gotta call paggu n civil madam also no…” Sweetoo said.
“ya.. but they are in class.. “ Kati said.
We 3 girls were in IS dept and other 2 in different depts. So our break timings were different. I said to kati n sweetoo,
“I ll get paggu out of the class.. u get Shrado(civil madam)..”
“But how??” Kati asked…
“hmm.. say some lie ya.. ” I said and I went towords paggu’s dept.
Her class door was closed, I took all the courage and went to knock, I told to myself “1, 2, 3.. go..” uff!!! I couldn’t.. I came back..
I now collected all my courage+my frnz courage and counted..”1, 2.. 3.. Go!!!!”
I had knocked. Their sir opened the door, I made my face as if it was some serious matter.. I asked (with respect) “Excuse me sir, can you send Pragati for a minute??”
He asked, “what happened??”
“Sir.. for personal reasons..” I said and laughed to myself. I looked at paggu.. she looked so tensed when I said ‘personal reasons’ he he he..
He sent paggu out,
She asked me, “Nivi.. what happened?? What personal reason??” she really was tensed, she was getting all bad thoughts in her mind
“Arrey.. don’t worry.. nothing serious.. we were planning to go for Laga Chunari mein daag.. coming??” I replied..
“Whattttttttttt????????????? Pagal hai kya???????? U have ur lab i.a rite??” she thought I was crazy(ofcourse I was!!!!)
“Don’t worry about our IA.. Sweetoo and Kati are also coming, chal take ur bag n leave the class…” I hurried as we had very less time and we had to buy tickets also.
“Arrey my class is going on.. and that too Laga Chunari mein daag movie??” She was confused.
“Ya.. LCMD.. Come.. fast.. tell me seriously..are you interested in what he is teaching??? We are bunking our IA only.. for u its just a class.. chaloooooo” I said..
“Ok.. I am coming.. but what shall I tell sir??” she asked..
“Hmmmm.. Personal Reasons!!!!!!!” we both laughed!!!
She went and took her bag and came.. she said she had to leave urgently and the reason she gave was ‘Personal Reasons’(he he he rofl)
Kati, Sweetoo and Shrado(Civil Madam) were already in the car.
Me n Paggu joined and the car flew…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t ask me how was the movie as it was one of the Baaadddddddddd movies I had seen.. but off course with friends it was one of my very good days..
And next day we had to stand infront of HOD for half n hour and get the ‘maha-prasad’(scoldings) for bunking the IA.. hmmmm…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To my Friends,
Well… you all know how I behave when I feel very senti.. so imagine me like that.. with that senti face and telling you all.. Miss you all.. L
I really do…
Take care
Bye.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S : The Sand I walked on... is back in my shoes-1

It was the fear of acceptance that was bothering her...

"Pehli baar mohobat ki hai..
Aakhari baar mohobat ki hai….
Thode ssss bheege bheege se,thode num hai hum..
Kal se sss soye-woye bhi toh kum hai hum sss”

Anu’s caller tune was singing and I was wondering wat was wrong with this girl as she wud pick up the call in max 5 rings..
She picked up the call “Hello..” She said.
“Hi.. wat took u so long to pick up the call???? Anyways.. u coming for shopping rite??? Me and sidd will meet u near central” I said.
“No nivi.. Me not coming.. u ppl go n come..” she said.. she sounded a little depressed.
“what happened anu?? U sound not-so-well.. any pblm??” I asked.
Anu I mean Ananya, is my friend. We were friends from our college days n now we work together.. she is a little suttle, silent, kind-of-introvert, you know one of those ‘sweet girls’, and ‘emotional/ senti’ type of girls.. She usually doesn’t take things seriously.. but if she takes, she’ll hurt herself mentally a lot.. she wud think over it again n again n get depressed n wud go to a ‘don’t-speak to-me-I-am-in-no-mood’ kind of phase.. now I think she was in such a phase..
I continued, ”Anu.. U there??? Wat happened?? Tell me..”
It was silent for some moments,then she spoke, “Nivi, can u come to my room??”
Well I cud feel the sensitivity of the issue she was going thru.. I said,”ya.. will be there in another half n hour.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Tell me anu.. wat happened??” I asked her.I was in her room. She looked very pale..as if she had not slept for few nights.. she looked exhausted n tired.. as if someone has sucked every drop of blood from her body.
“Well I dono how to start.. I know listening to it you ll think I am a physco, n in am crazy n I live in a fantasy world n all that.. ” she wanted to say something more.. I held her hands, looked into her eyes n said.. “tell me. Wat happened??”
“Nivi,I think I am falling for someone..” She said.
Well that was a kind of happy news for her.. offcourse not for me as I didn’t believe that something called as “LOVE” practically exists..but she was feeling lonely a lot these days.. she was in need of a company.. she wanted someone to love..
“Wow!!!!!! That’s nice… but wats the issue??? Y so sad??????” I asked.
“Well the pblm is I dono if he also likes me or not” She said.
Ahhaa!!! Girls.. They will never ever change I thought to myself.
“Hmmm.. right.. so u r depressed huh??? Girl.. when will u wake up??? Why don’t u go n ask him directly???” I said..
“Nivi.. its not that easy..” She said.
“I know I know.. Its not easy.. but its easier than mourning like this..” I said.“Nivi.. I am scared!!!” She said.
“Scared of wat?? Scared of being rejected??? Girl.. Atleast you ll know that he doesn’t love u.. atleast u r sure of ooonneeee thingggg” I said.
“Nivi.. I am not scared of rejection, It’s the fear of acceptance that’s bothering me..” she said.
Wow!!! That was something new.I had heard of ‘fear of rejection”, “fear of separation”, “fear of loosing loved ones” but this concept of “fear of acceptance” was really new to me.. I asked her..
“Anu.. wats that?? Tell me about that guy”
“He is a cousin of my frn Akshata,We met in her brothers wedding and now we know each other for almost 4 to 4 n a half years. He found me on Orkut and then we became friends and gradually we started calling each other. he wud call almost everyday.. we wud discuss books, movies, life, philosophy n everything under the sun. we hardly chatted as he used to not like chatting.. he preferred to ‘listen’ to me.. we had not seen each other for some 2 years.. and then one evening of October he gave me a surprise by coming down to the town.. we roamed, had dinner. But that time I didn’t not have any kind of feelings for him..” she was telling me her history..
I asked,”did he ever give a hint that he loves u or likes u??”
She said “Nivi.. I don’t remember.. all I remember is the discussions we had abt life,friendship, we wud also discuss abt love.. but love in general.. nothing related to him or me….. but I wud always wait for his call.. I liked to speak to him.. I liked his way of analyzing things,I adopted few too..” she continued..
I interrupted ,”Anu.. wat kind of a guy is he?? … is he of ur type??”
She looked at me and said..”That’s the pblm nivi.. He is not of my type.. he is totally different…”
I was confused.. how cud one fall for someone of not of your type.. specially someone totally different… I asked her the same thing.. she said,
“Nivi.. even I have thot of it a lot.. how can I fall in love with a guy who is so different from me.. but nivi.. I feel so insecure when he says he is with a girl who is a friend of his, every time he says he met one of his old frn(girl again), every time he writes abt someone or something abt love n all in his blog… I feel insecure, I feel left-out, denied.. I even thot that its just a feeling that u know.. comes n leaves.. buts its been a long time I am in this.. I don’t want to build up a dream around him just to realize he doesn’t like me…” she was silent for sometime… then she continued.. “Nivi.. The worst part is I am scared of he accepting me..” she stopped again.. She was now starring at the ground.A drop of tear just fell down.. she didn’t even make efforts to hide them.. she just let them flow..
I was sitting there not knowing what to say... I asked..
“Anu… U said he is different from you.. how is he different??? wats so different abt him?? I know usually guys are not as emotional as girls are, atleast not as much as you are.. They don’t live in the fantasy world as U do..” I wanted to say something but she cut it and said..
“Nivi,If were the one to live in the fantasy world I would have been scared of rejection instead of being accepted..” she gave me that ‘I-don’t-live-in –the-dreamworld??’ kind of look.
Well ya.. that was true.. she was practical enough to think about the matter.. but I didn’t know how was he different.. I said..
“Sorry!!! Hmmm.. Anu I know that U don’t live in that dreamworld.. but u imagine that kind of world.. and you are a kind of girl who knows the difference between reality and dreams.. So Anu.. wats the pblm?? If he is different from you U can adjust rite?? After all compromise is just another name of Life..”
“Nivi, well.. How do I tell you wat kind of a person he is…. Hmmm….. ok I ll tell you an incident.. Once I was really sad for something.. I was not able to express anything.. and I was depressed.. I called him and said that.. normally say If you call up Sidd and say that u are feeling low wat wud his reply be??” she asked me.
I said,”well he wud ask me wats wrong.. and “ I wanted to say something more but she inturrupted.. She said.. “right??? If not like girls console sidd wud atleast ask wats wrong?? Isn’t it??” She asked again..
I nodded agreeing to wat she said as guys usually take such things easily and max they cud do is to ask wat happened and then try to convince to it smoothly… they wud never try to console as girls do by going deep into the matter n stuff..
She said again..”But you know this guy said it directly that I was responsible for my own moods and its swings.... He could not help me it was upto me to come out of it or not.. If I really wanted to be out of that blue I wud come out myself. If I am seeking for some sympathy from him then he was sorry and he could not give sympathy for me as he felt it was totally my choice to be in that depression…!!!!” she sighed.
Wow!!!!!!!!!! That was something!!!!!!!!!!He was right.. but that was not that right way to tell it..specially to girls like Anu..I thot to myself..
“Anu.. “ I wanted to tell her something but she continued..
“Nivi. Its not that he is not emotional.. he is.. but he is not of those who wud compromise things and do something just to please you.... and trust me if we both are made to live together.. I will be the one to compromise most of the times and guess wat.?? I am OK with it... But I am confused..Nivi.. when I am with him I feel so good… I think that may be.. may be we can live together and live happily.. but everytime I speak to him on a call I realize the difference… what shall I do..I am confused.. I don’t want to live with this feeling.. I tried a lot to over come nivi.. a lot.. but its just not possible.. I get possessive abt him.. Its easy to get rejected.. but I dono wat if he agrees n wat next and still somewhere I have a hope that he will know what I am going through.... will I be able make a good partner to him?? Will I be able to live happily with all compromises?? Will I be able to live with the person who is not of my type?? Who is rude at times.. and not the one who keeps patting on my back..???” Now she was making efforts to control her tears.. I now understood wat she meant by ‘the fear of acceptance’..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dono wat to tell her.. I have no answer to her question.. But I got a wrenching feeling inside my heart looking at her.. she was really in pain.. from both the sides it was pain for her.. even if he rejected or if he accepted.. She really had fallen for a different guy..
I didn’t know wat to say.. I was silent.. I just held her hand.. pressed it to assure that everything will be alright… but… I dono how things were gonna sort out for her.. I wished he could read her mind and understand her dilemma.. or just he would say he loved her to and he wud understand her and value her…
Hmmm….Now.. I realized why they say girls dream a lot…..

From:MeTo:USubject: Hi..

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Book Center

Hi Sidd.
U had asked abt a book center.. Hmm.. No there are no book centers here near my office nor near my PG.. but u have swapna book house in indiranagar, domloor. btw v meeting for dinner today rite??


From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject:Re: Re:Book Center

Well Niv,
I am sorry. I am not coming today.
Priya had called and she expects me to have dinner with her and
I cant deny. U know.. She is soooo... well.. she is hot!!!!!
Anyway Niv on this occasion of FRIENDSHIP DAY I want to say you thanks for being my Friend.
Thank you. thanks a lot.I am proud to be your Friend
Take care all the time.
Keen to meet you this weekend.
bye.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Huh!!!!!!!

Sidd..
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How professional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop sending such PROFESSIONAL,POLITICAL and DIPLOMATIC mails, that r full of formalities................
Are you serious u gonna miss dinner with me.. Ur Best frn?? on friendship day??? Just for that wack-wack-wack girl?? I dont beleive this.. Go ahead.. HAVE A NICE DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I ll not forgive you for this one.. believe me on this..)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Niv....

haha ..................
hahahahahaha..............................
i knew you would reply like this..........................
hmmmm.........anyway i mean it niv.
mattenu hengatu ninne oota?(Kannada:How was your dinner yesterday night??)
wht was the special for the dinner?
any special news?
yappa.. yest we finished dinner around 10.30 and when i reached room it was around 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Niv....

wat hahahahaha.................
anyways.. yest even i reached my PG @ 11 only.. had a nice time at my
brothers place. Attige had cooked very nice food.. n gulaab jamoon.. my
favourite,I must have gulped some 15-16.. it was nice.. one of my brothers relative was there.. he is doing his CA final(or wat ever they call it) He is 2005 B.Com pass out.. chatted wit him.. well I guess I can take a chance :-P (but he is just 1 year elder to me ) but I dont think he is of my type.. he seemed to be one of those quite a descent and VERY GOOD guys.. and U know how chattar-pattar n talkative I am..and more over I dont think he was impressed by me.. But anyways we exchanged the nos..
Lets see if he communicates (Though I think he ll not!!!! And Noways I am gonna start).. So that was special for yest.. wat abt ur dinner with that wack-wack-wack girl????????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.. Niv..
thats good.keep one thing in mind.
boys always pretend to be descent when they meet girls for the first time.
so you cant think him as " not of your type ".
anyway good luck.
But shall i tell you something serious niv?
love should happen naturally. dont try for it. let it go.
You will surely get some one in your life.............
Well ..........about my dinner with Priya(She is not wack-wack-wack-girl) was soooo.. uhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! She was looking.. wow!!!!!!!!!!
Hey niv yest that girl had called me again.............................

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re:Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhu Uhuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody is in demand!!!!!!!!! naa na na naa na naa na na naa
na............. he he he... wat did she say?? btw u know the theory of demand??(that guy yest told me..actually enlightened me abt
this... he is from commerce background U c....) Theory of Demend says..
"When the demand increases,price decreases (or increases i am
confused!!!!)"
So u are in demand that means ur price is decreasing........ I am not in
demand which means I am very much valuable.... ha ha ha.. anyways wat did she say?? did she say.."siddharth!!! iss janam mein main tumhaari
girlfriend/patni/jeevan saathi nahi ban saki.. issi liye iss janam mein
main tumhaari dost banjaati huun.. agle janam mein mein phir se try
karoongi???" he he he rotl......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Theory of demand

hmmm
You wanna know the actual theory of demand.
I am trained in suppy chain management for one and half months in London..
See when demand increases if you supply to the rate of demand then only
price decreases.But if you supply at your own pace or if you dont supply your demand still increases and you will be under the focus light.
Understood ....................and hope you can apply to our
case........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well she said she is comfortable in sharing the things with me and she
likes my approach.and she wants to continue sharing the things with me as a FRIEND.
I said i need some time to think.
Lets see how the story proceeds...................
By the way whats his name?????????????

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Theory of demand

Well.. I didnt get a word u said abt that theory.. anyways.. Its ok to be
friend.. but u never know.. girls I tell u.. she may still be hoping that
some day u ll understand her feelings n all that stuff.. So If you say
that u can be friends and u dont want to end up liking that girl.. then
see to it that u r JUST FRIENDS.. but if u r open to the option of liking
her sometime in ur life.. then let her be ur frn n share things wit u..
and abt me.. I dont know his name.. probably its something I know.. but trust me sidd I m not interested, i m just kidding abt this.. Just u know.. trying to.. well...leav it.
But that guy was cute.. his name was something like vinod?? Vivek?? or something like that... He did open up a bit.. he was chatting too.. I was totally myself.. all naughty, chattar pattar.. u know.. Just me..
He is gonna be here in blore for quite a while.. but till now.. he didnt
msg or anything like that.. (not that I am expecting!!!)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hey buddy...

Hey Niv..
Y so serious suddenly??? wats wrong?? I am not gonna get into any relationship now..and u know that.. anyways.. Thanks for that “MUFT KA GYAN” Btw.. have a news for u..
Swati Rai had called me day b4 yest.
She talked so much that she never talked so much with me in the past,
dont know everything seeming so much funny....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Hey buddy...

Wellllllllllllllll.........................
Somebody Is really In demand.... Uhu Uhu!!!! someone wants to share things wit u, somebody else speaks to u as if she had never spoken before.. aha............ wats th matter buddy????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Beard shaved!!!!

hmmmmmmm...................
ha ha ..................
some time every thing around seems to be so funny.
anyway trust me..i wont do anything like you ( Such as making somebody shave his beard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................)
i am trying to set other priorities in my life and i wanna get involved in
those.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Beard shaved!!!!

Well............ I didnt ASK/FORCE him to shave it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U get
That??? anyways all the best to u...set ur priorities n all that stuff...
now.. will u let me work???? I got a target to meet....
HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People these days I say......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Ok.....

hmmmmmmmm
madu madu
all the best for your cut - copy -paste ...........................
hmmm......carry on niv...
will c u on week-end(Hope u dont get a date with Mr.Vinod-Vivek-or whatever-his-name-is till then so that I dont have to spend my week end alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Bye...

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ-2..

Hey Dreamboy ,

ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ನಲಾ.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದದ ಹಸಿರು.. ಒಂದ್ ಥರಾ ಚಳಿ.. ಹನಿ ಹನಿಸೊ ಎಲೆ, ದಾಸವಾಳ, ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ ಕಮಲ.. ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಆಗೋ ಕಾಡು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ.. ಕಪ್ಪು ಆಕಾಶ.. well.. ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟ ಕಣೋ.. ತುಂಬಾ!!! ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಬಾವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ನೀರು ತುಂಬಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ನಾನು ಬಾವಿಯಿಂದಾ ನೀರು ತರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಜಾರಿ ಬಿದ್ದು.. ಬೇಡ ಅವಾಂತರ.. ಆದ್ರೂ ನಂಗೆ ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಇಷ್ಟ.

ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್!!! ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಚಂದ?? ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ನೀನು!! ೪ ಹನಿ ಬಿದ್ರೂ ನಿನಗೆ ಜೋರು ಮಳೆ ಬಿದ್ದಂಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ನಿಂಗೆ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ಊರಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ಕಾಲುದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸಬೇಕು, ಪಾಚಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿರೋ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಬೀಳಬೇಕು (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ), ಗದ್ದೆ ನೆಟ್ಟಿ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಆವಾಗ ನಿನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದು ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಿಸಿ, ಒಂದು ಹಾಳೆ ಟೊಪ್ಪಿ ಹಾಕಿ, ಗದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡತೀನಿ.. ಪಿಚ ಪಿಚ ಅನ್ನೋ ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ಮಜ ಬರುತ್ತೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಮತ್ತೆ ಉಂಬಳ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ.. (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ) ಹೆದರ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ?? ಹೆದರಬೇಡಪ್ಪಾ.. ಹಾಗೆ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ತಮಾಷೆ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೆ..

ಆದ್ರೂ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದಾ ಅಲ್ವೇನೋ?? ಬೆಳ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಎದ್ದ ಕೂಡಲೆ ಬಚ್ಚಲು ಮನೆಯ ಒಲೆಯ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಕಾಯಿಸೋದು,.. btw..you know wat?? ನಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲಲ್ಲಿ ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ಒಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಇರುತ್ತೆ.. ಹಂಡ್ಯಾದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಸಿ ಬಿಸಿ ನೀರು.. wow!!its so nice..!!! ಮತ್ತೆ ಗೇರು-ಪೀಕ, ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಬ್ಯಾಳೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟು ತಿನ್ನೋದು.. ಕರಕ್ಲಿ, ಕಟ್ಣೆ, ಚಕ್ಕೆ ಪೊಳದ್ಯಾ..ಊಮ್ಮ್... ನನ್ನ ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಬರ್ತಾ ಇದೆ.. ಒಹ್!! ನಿನಗೆ ಕರಕ್ಲಿ- ಕಟ್ಣೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ವಾ.. ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು ನಾನೇ ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಮಾಡಿ ತಿನ್ನಿಸ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಯ್ತಾ??

Btw ನಿಂಗೆ ಚೊರಟೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಅದಕ್ಕೆ englishನಲ್ಲಿ ಏನಂತಾರೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ಊಮ್ಮ್.. ನಂಗೆ ಈಗ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಹಸ್ರಪದಿ ಅಂತಾ ಕೂಡಾ ಹೇಳತಾರೆ ನೋಡು.. ಅದನ್ನ ಮುಟ್ಟಿದ್ರೆ ಅದು ಚಕ್ಲಿ ಥರಾ ಮುದುರಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ..ಅದು.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಇದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಹತ್ರಾ??ನಾನಂತು ಅದರ ಜೊತೆ ಆಡಿ-ಆಡಿ ಇಟ್ಟೆ ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ..

ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಮಲೆನಾಡಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗೆ ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗಿದ್ರೆ..ಆಹ್!! ಎನು ಸುಖ!! btw ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಛಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಾನು ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ ಎಷ್ಟು ಛಳಿ ಇತ್ತು ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ನಾನು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಮಲಗೋವಾಗ.. 2 ಕಂಬಳಿ,1 ದುಪಡಿ, 1 ಹೊದಿಕೆ, ಮೇಲ್ಗಡೆಯಿಂದಾ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಒಂದು ಹಳೇ ಸೀರೆ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗತಿದ್ದೆ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಾಗ್ತಿತ್ತು.." ಅಷ್ಟೇನಾ ??"ಅಂತಾ ಟೀಕೆ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡಾ ನೀನು.. ಹೇಳ್ದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ ನಾನು ನಿಂಗೆ.. ನನಗೆ ಚಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ..

ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು.. ಮತ್ತೇನು?? ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡ್ತೀರಾ?? ಎನೇನು special ಅಡಿಗೆ ಇರುತ್ತೆ?? ಹೇಳೋ.. plz.. ಅದೇನು ಮುಖ ಊದಿಸಿ ಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತಿದೀಯಾ?? ಒಹ್!! ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ಅಂತಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಕರೆದೆ ಅಂತಾನಾ?? ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್ಮ್!!!! ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರನ್ನಾ ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರು ಅಂತಾ ಕರಿಯದೆ ಮತ್ತೇನು ಕರೀಲಿ?? ಸರಿಯಪ್ಪಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ’ಮಂಡು’ ಅನ್ನಲ್ಲಾ.. Happy??

ಸರಿ.. ಈಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳು.. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ.. ಕಾಯ್ತಾ ಇದೀನಿ..

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ??

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ

ಕತ್ತಲಲಿ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದು?

ನೂರು ಮಾತಲ್ಲೂ.. ಮೌನವನ್ನೇ ನುಡಿಸಿದ್ದು?

ಎದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಅಡಗಿದ್ದು,

ನೆನಪ ನೆಪ ಮಾಡಿ ಬಂದೆ.. ಅಲ್ಲವೆ?

ಗಂಟಲ ನರ ಬಿಗಿಯಿತು,

ಕಣ್ಣಂಚಲಿ ಕಂಬನಿ ಹನಿಯಿತು,

ಕ್ಷಣ ಕ್ಷಣವೂ ದಿನ ದಿನವೂ

ದೂರ ಮಾಡಿದಷ್ಟೂ..

ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬರುವೆಯಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬರಡಾದೆ ನಾನು,

ಬರಬೇಡ..

ಯಾವ ನೆಪವನೂ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ..

ವಸಂತನಪ್ಪುವ ಮನಸಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿನ್ನೋಡನೀಜಿ ದಡ ಸೇರಲಾರೆ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೋ ಬಂದು, ಸವರಿ ನೆಡೆವ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೋ ಹರಿದು,ಕೊರೆದು ದಡವ, ಭೋರ್ಗರೆವ ಕಡಲಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಆದಿ ನಿನಗೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಂತ್ಯ??

ಇರುವಷ್ಟೂ ಹೊತ್ತು..

ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲ ನವೆಗೊಳಿಸಿ, ಹದ ಹದವಾಗಿ ಸುಟ್ಟು ನುಂಗುವುದು

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಪೂರ್ವದಿಂದ ಪಡುವಣಕೆ ಸಾಗುವ ರವಿ

ಕತ್ತಲ ನೀಗಿ ಬೆಳಕ ಬೀರುವನೋ,

ಬೆಳಕ ನೆಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಕತ್ತಲ ತರುವನೋ...

ತಿಳಿದವರಾರು??

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೂ ಅಷ್ಟೆ!!!

ಚಿತ್ತದಿಂದ ಹೋರಬಂದು ನೋಯಿಸುವುದೋ..

ನೋಯಿಸಲೆಂದೇ ಹೊರಬರುವುದೋ..

ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ!!!

ದಟ್ಟ ಕಾಡಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಹಗಲು??

ಕಡಲ ಗರ್ಭಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಬೆಳಕು?

ರವಿಯೂ ಕಾಣದಾದ..

ನಲಿವು,ಗೆಲುವು ಬರಿಯ ಮರೀಚಿಕೆ..

ನಾನು-ನೀನು ವಿಧಿಯ ಚಿತ್ರದಲಿ ಮುಗಿದು ಹೋದ ಸಂಚಿಕೆ..

ತಿಳಿದೂ ಕಾಲವ ಹಿಂದಕೆಳೆವ ಬಯಕೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಬಣಗುಡುವ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ದನಿಮೂಡಿಸುವಾಸೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಇದೆ.. ಕಾಡತಾ ಇದೆ ಅನ್ನೋದಕ್ಕಿಂತಾ ತುಂಬಾ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆ.

"ಕ್ರಿಷ್ಣ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ? "

I agree.. that ಅವನಿಗೆ ಮಥುರೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತು n all that.. ಆದ್ರೂ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಅವನು ಆಮೇಲಾದ್ರೂ ಬಂದು ಮದುವೆ ಆಗಬಹುದಿತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ಮದುವೆ ಆಗದೆ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ದು ಸರಿನಾ?? ರಾಧೆ ಅವನನ್ನ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿರಬಹುದು ಅಲ್ವಾ?? They give examples of their Love.. ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ಲು ಅವನನ್ನ..ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಅವನು ಬಿಟ್ಟುಹೋದಾಗ... ಅಲ್ವಾ??

ಯಾಕೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದ ಅವನು?? 16000 ಹೆಂಗಸರನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಯಾದ.. just ಅವರಿಗೆ ಸಮಾಜದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಥಾನ ಕೊಡಸೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅವನನ್ನ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ??

ಯಾಕೆ??

The reverie..

“Are you for real??” She asked him.

“Yess.... I am for real.. but why did you ask??” He asked her looking into her eyes, he had loved them always.. he loved the way they looked at him, questioned him, admired him, cared for him, at times spoke soooo much… and at sometimes the way they were so silent.. the way there was some mystery hidden in them, the way they blinked, shared feelings.. well he adored them.. they were beautiful..brown.. honey brown in color. He could see his own reflection in them .. everytime.. they were beautiful.. just the way she was!!

“Because.. Because you are so.. soo… so perfect!!” she thought of the days they spent together. Days that became months, and months.. years.. they were together, loving each other more and more every passing day. But now, they had to leave. she some how felt that those days were not true, all the happy times were just her dreams.. Because they were just like her dreams..beautiful!! she would many times fear to wake up and find that she is alone.. But all the wonderful days were true, the happy times were true.


He held her in his arms, close to his heart and said,”No.. I am not perfect.. not atleast without you..”
She wanted the time to stop,she wanted to be in his arms, she wanted him to speak to her, to listen, to be silent, to keep looking at her,she wanted him for ever and ever.


She felt secured in his arms.She noticed it for the first time, he was very tall to her… she could hardly reach his shoulders. they looked beautiful together.

He whispered,”Hey, honey.. Don’t worry.. I ll be there.. You ll never loose me..” He had understood her fears.She was lost in his perfume, She wanted to remember it for the rest of her life.She dropped a tear,it wet his chest and his heart.

“I am scared.. I have this feeling.. I feel as if this is going to be our last meeting.. I ll go crazy.. God!! What will I do without you??”She said and tightened her hug. She wanted to be locked in his arms like that forever..

He tightened his arms around her till he could not tighten more.He kissed her forehead.He held her close again.He had said everything she wanted to hear. She kissed his heart..she loved his aroma, she many times wanted to wear his skin, crawl into his veins and feel his soul.. she loved the feeling of his touch, the warmth of his when he held her hand, the pace of his breathing.. she loved him.

She was still in his arms, she asked “Will you remember me??”

He released her, gave her a smile, winked and said”Wanna bet??”

She narrowed her eyes and said,”That means you wanna forget me.. huh??”

He put his arms around her shoulder and said..” No.. I was kidding.. and in the first place.. we are going to be together for the rest of our lives.. we will have our own home, our children, grand children.. we will love each other more and more.. people will give examples of our love..”

She hugged him again,pulled him close.. very close..”But I am feeling.. I am getting this weird feeling.. I don’t want to live without you..”She kissed him,she kissed him again.. she wanted to kiss him till the end. She wanted to remember that day,she wanted to remember the color of his shirt, color of his skin,the color of the wall, the wood of the table, the design of the window screen,the music,the flowers,the gifts,the kisses, the hugs, tears, smiles,the sigh in his breathe,the warmth of his presence.. everything.. every damn thing..

And then.. It was time.. time to leave..He had to leave..
He left. He didn’t take his eyes off her.He wanted to fill all his life with her.. he wanted her to know that he loved her,he cared for her,he wanted her to complete him and he wanted to complete her,he wanted her to know that he ll be there for her everytime she needed,he would stand by her, by her dreams, by her ambitions.. He loved her, he would love her forever.

He said,”I love you.. I ll love you forever”
She hugged him..this time with all her strength and as though they would never meet again.. she said,”Don’t forget me..”
He left.

She stood there,She wanted sometime to realize that he was gone.. she wanted to feel his aroma, his touch.. She felt empty,She felt blank,She felt void,scared,alone.. She stood there looking all over the walls where his shadow once fell looking down the floor where he had walked.. she wanted to block the wind in the room,she wanted to keep his breathe with her forever..
She stood there looking at him leave..

“tere bina jiya jaaye na..
tere bina jiya jaaye na
bin tere tere bin saajana
saans mein saans aaye na
tere bina…”