ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡಿಗೆಗೆ,
ನೆರಳ ಜೊತೆ

ಕುರುಡು ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹಣತೆ

ಕನಸುಗಳೋ, ನೆನಪುಗಳೋ...

ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ ತಿಳಿಯದಷ್ಟು ಮಸುಕು

ಎತ್ತ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ

ಹರುಕು-ಮುರುಕು ಬದುಕು

ನೆನೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಕಂಬನಿಗೇನೂ ಬರವಿಲ್ಲ

ಹಿಡಿ-ಮುಷ್ಠಿಯಷ್ಟು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೆದುರು ನಿಂತರೂ ಬಿಂಬವಿಲ್ಲ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ ಭರವಸೆ

ಆಸರೆಯಾಗಬೇಕಿದ್ದ ಕನಸಿಗೇ ನಿಶ್ಶಕ್ತಿ

ಗುನುಗುನಿಸಲೂ ಹಾಡಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿರ್ಭಾವದ ವಿರಕ್ತಿ.

ಪ್ರಶ್ನಿಸಬೇಕೇನು??

ಉತ್ತರವೇ ಬೇಡ..

ಬೇಡಬೇಕೇನು??

ನಡೆಯುವುದು ನಡೆಯಲಿ..

ಉಳಿದರೆ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿಕೊಂಡರಾಯಿತು..

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ಲೆಕ್ಕ

ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೂ ಬಾಯಾರಿಕೆ

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಅದೆಂತದೋ ಕನವರಿಕೆ.

ಮಾತು ತೊದಲುವ ಮುನ್ನ

ಮೌನವಾದರೆ ಸಾಕು

ಉಳಿದದ್ದು ನಡೆದ ಗುರುತಿಗೆ

ಜೊತೆಯಾದ ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ.

ಗೆಳೆಯಾ...Cry me a river..please..

ಅಳಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ ನಾನು.. ನಿನ್ನ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ, ಮರೆಯಲಿಕ್ಕಾಗ್ತಾಇಲ್ಲದಿರೊದಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. ಒಟ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ದಿನಗಟ್ಟಲೆ,ವಾರಗಟ್ಟಲೆ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತು ಅಳಬೇಕು..
I remember somebody telling me.."you are sad because you have choosen to be." I dont want to be sad like this. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅತ್ತು ಮುಗಿಸಿಬಿಡಬೇಕು. ತುಂಬಾ ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಖುಷಿಯ ಋಣವೆಲ್ಲ ತೀರುವಷ್ಟು..
Anyways ನಾವು ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ಕ್ಷಣಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ..ನಿನ್ನೆದಗೊರಾಗಿ ನಾನಿಟ್ಟ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರ ಬಿಸಿ ಇನ್ನೂ ಆರಿಲ್ಲ..ಆ ಊರಿನ ದಾರಿಗಳೂ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಮಳೆ, ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ಮೇಲಿನ ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಗಂಧ, ಆ ಆಟದ ಮೈದಾನದ ಕಟ್ಟೆ, long walkಗಳು, long rideಗಳು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವುದೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ..

ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಂದ ಆ ಗುಲಾಬಿ ಗುಚ್ಛ, ನೂರಾರು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಹಮ್ಮ್.. ಆ ನವಿಲುಗರಿ,ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಪುಕ್ಕ, ಒಂದಷ್ಟು keychainಗಳು,bracelets,ear-rings.. ಅಷ್ಟೆ.. ಅವುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಒಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕಿ ಬಿಸಾಕೋದು ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕೆಲಸ ಅಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಆ ಹೂಗಳನ್ನ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಇಟ್ಟ್ ಕೊಂಡಿದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ಒಂದು ಎಸಳೂ ಉದಿರಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಬಿಸಾಕಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ..

ನಿನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ನಾನು ಬರೆದ ಕವನಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಒಂದು dairy ಅಷ್ಟೇ!! ಅದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟುಬಿಡೋವಾಗ ಜೀವ ಹೋಗುವಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗುತ್ತೇನೋ.. ಸುಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕ್ತೀನಿ..

ನನ್ನ cellನಲ್ಲಿರೋ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು photoಗಳು, ಹಾಡುಗಳು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇನೋ.. backgroundನಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಹಾಡನ್ನ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು, photosನ slideshow ಮಾಡಿ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡೋದು,ನಗೋದು,ಕಾಡೋದು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ??ಆ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.. enriqueನ "Somebody is me", Omkara-"Oo.. saathi re" ,Bryan Adams, Mltr-"Blue night" , Jab we met-"Tum se hi",Shaggy-"Angel"..ಆಹ್!! Its a never ending list.. ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ.. specially, ನೀನು ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಹಾಡಿದ್ಯಲಾ.."Tu hi meri Shaba hai.." well..delete ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ.

ನಿನಗಿಷ್ಟವಾದ ಚೂಡಿದಾರ್,ದುಪಟ್ಟಾ, bags,clips, tea mugs.. ಯಾರಿಗಾದ್ರೂ ಕೊಟ್ಟಬಿಡತೀನಿ..what am I saying??ಅಹ್!! ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಸಾಧ್ಯ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನೂ ಮಾಡೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗಲ್ಲ.. ಆ ವಸ್ತುಗಳಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಾ ನೀನಿರೋದು.. ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ.. ನನ್ನನ್ನ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಲಲಿ?????
ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಆಕಾಶದ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ಹೇಳಿದ ಮಾತು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ.."hey!!ನೀನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ Friends ಅಲ್ವಾ?? Please ಇವುಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೇಳು, ನಿನ್ನ ನನ್ನ destinyಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ.. I am ready to beg them for you.. I love you ಕಣೆ.." ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ bikeಗೆ ಒರಗಿ ಕೂತು, ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಗಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ಹಿಡಿದು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ.. ಹ್!! ನಕ್ಕು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು.. ಈಗ??? ಈಗ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಮಾತಾಡಲಿ ಅವುಗಳ ಜೊತೆ?? ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ ಉದುರಿ ಬೀಳೋದಿಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ನಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಹೀಗೆ ಆಟ ಆಡಿತ್ವೆ?? I hate them.. I hate them all.. all of them..

ಇವತ್ತು ಅತ್ತೇ ಅಳತೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ಹಠ ಹಿಡಿದು, ನಿನ್ನ jacket ಅಪ್ಪಿಕೋಂಡು ಕೂಡತೀನಿ.. ನೋವು ಗಂಟಲ ತನಕ ಬರುತ್ತೆ... ಯಾಕೋ.. ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಬರೋದೆ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನೆನಪಾಗಿ ಕಾಡೋ ಬದಲು ಕಣ್ಣೀರಾಗ ಬಾರದೇನೋ ನೀನು?? ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಕಾಡತೀಯಾ?? ಬೇರೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಇಲ್ವಾ ನಿಂಗೆ?? I hate you.. I Dont like you.. You understand?? I hate you.. God!!! what am I saying... ಅಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾಕೆ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ??
ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ Bryan Adamsನ Please forgive me ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ..Do you want me to sing

"Please forgive me.. I know not what I do
Please forgive me.. I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me.. This pain I'm going through..
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do..
Please believe me.. Every word I say is true
Please forgive me.. I can't stop loving you .."

I cant stop Loving you..
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ ನನ್ನ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಮಾತ್ರ.. Please.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ ನಗಿಸ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನನ್ನ.. ಹಾಗೇ ಅಳಿಸಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಒಂದು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ ತಂತಾನಾರೆ ಬಂದುಬಿಡತಿತ್ತು.. ನಿನ್ನ perfumeನ ಪರಿಮಳ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕೂದಲಿನ ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಸ್ಪರ್ಶ.. ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯೋ??
Please ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ.. Justin Timberlakeನ ಈ ಹಾಡು ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? I am Singing that for you now..
"Cry me a River.. " Please.. Cry me a river...

My Best Friends Wedding...

Yesss.. you read it right. It was my best friend Katis wedding on 22th of March.Yupiee!!! Yeah!!! A day to remember for her and for us(we friends). Don’t ask me how was the marriage.. Coz it was just wonderful!!! Awesome!! Fun!! She looked like a goddess.. beeeeaaaauuutttiiifullll…… vinay(her husband) had no option other than starring at her when she walked down to the ‘mantap’.We were really stunned to look at her everytime.. She looked just beautiful.. just like a goddess.. every sari she wore was getting a look because of her, Every stone in the jewelry got the spark because of the glow she had in her eyes ..God!!! If I m allowed, I ll keep on praising her, without even caring if you are really interested or if you are getting bored.. anyways.. let me come to the actual part of this story..

We, I mean me,paggu,sweetoo,shradha and juhi had been planning for this big day from around 2-3 months. We were excited for her, and to meet each other too.. it had been almost 6 months I met sweetoo,shradha and almost a year I met paggu.. I was really excited to meet them all. Paggu and me had planned to go together from Bangalore to Belgaum, there all my other friends would join and then from there it was all unclear. What meant more important is meeting all friends

Paggu traveled the half of the day to reach Blore.I attended my office and left early.. but.. This Bangalore traffic..ufff!! I almost lost hopes of reaching on time to board the train.. Thank god!! I was 5 min early to the departure time.. anyways.. what matters is.. Finally I met Paggu. God!! I cant tell you how happy I was.When I met her.. we wer literally hugging each other for some 3-4 times.. We had missed each other (well..even though we spoke almost 3-4 times a week for around an hour each time).People around us were starring at us.. we were too happy to notice it then..we hardly slept that night on train.. we chatted, chatted and chatted till we reached belgaum.. And ya.. When we reached belgaum.. We both were silent for a long time.. it took us back to the old good days of our own, the 3rd gate, 1st gate, ambika, military mahadev, RPD, Goavaes.. every road in belgaum had some memories with it.. and the best part was we both were remembering them together, silently in our minds.. both knew wat was going on the other persons mind.. but none of us spoke a word..God.. I m going back to those days.. Ok ok.. Where was I??? I reached belgaum.. yup!! Then Uncle and aunty were waiting for us.. we both were too hungry to resist.. upon that when paggus mother cooks.. I cant resist.. so immediately we were on dining table having yummy dosas.. ummm.. Paggu.. convey my thanks to aunty.. she deserves it.

It was almost 11:00 am.. we got a call from kati.. “where you people?? We have arranged for a Bus near my home.. come soon.. they are all waiting.” . Paggu was ready but I was not.. I was still sleeping.. I somehow got ready and then in 15 min we were at katis place. Wow!! That’s the time I met sweetoo and shradha..and when I met them, I never felt I was away,they were my same old friends.. too lazy to change(he he he)..we were together like our college group again..I felt sooooooooooo ggggggggggggoooooooooooodddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

Our journey to pune was total fun!!!!! Not me nor paggu were interested in telling our work related stuff.I seriously don’t remember wat we spoke.. all I remember is teasing shradha, telling each other abt the office tales, singing or should I say screaming??well we laughed, laughed and laughed.. I must have lost few kgs as I spoke a lot.

It was almost 7 when we reached karyalay in Pune. Sneha had arranged a room for us.We met juhi there.. We attended katis ‘Haldi’ function.. before that, katis ‘bhaiyas’ and ‘bhaabiis’, deedis and jeejus’ presented a dance for her.. umm.. it was great.. ya... they forgot steps, they forgot the sequences BUT they all loved her.. and was clearly visible in their act..everybody loved her..and then kati was on stage.. She enjoyed every single bit of the moment. She was just enjoying completely. Vinay was with her.They 2 ofcourse completed each other.

Then that night when we all were supposed to sleep kati came to our room. She was not a bride then.. she was just the same old kati. The same kiddo, teaser.. She was not scared for her big day, she was not tensed, not worried, not afraid of loosing anything, not even a bit insecured.. She was Just our own Kati. We all loved her so much. We all spoke almost the whole night.. she had to get up early in the morning.. but even then we all chatted, we all were back to college days.. just a day before her wedding..

Then the next day we woke up late and the ‘muhurt’ was in half an hour.. you wont believe.. we 5 girls got ready in just half n hour, that’s coz we didn’t want to miss a moment of the wedding.. we wanted to be with her every single moment. And we were there, we were there when he put the ‘mangal sutra’, we were there when they took ‘sapta padi’(saath phere), when there was kanya daan.. None of us had seen a wedding so closely.. we all were excited. Kati as usual went through all these with an ease, with a cool mind.. she was happy.

Then the rest of the ceremony was like some fairy tale. Kati was a princess, Vinay was Prince charming. He came for her.. to find his love for life.. Wow!!! Doesn’t that sound so beautiful???

Hmmm.. there was her reception in the evening.. I could not attend it as I had to leave to Bangalore. I had only 1 day leave(ssssaaadddddd).I had my train at 10. I never wanted to say a bye to my friends.. I didnt want to leave, I wanted the time to freeze.. I would miss them a lot everytime I felt like being stupid, everytime I wanted to eat pani puri, everytime I felt “What am I doing???”, everytime I got confused which dress to buy, which bag will match with it.. , everytime I felt like going for a walk, everytime I saw a handsome guy.. today when I sit here writing all this.. I feel.. gone are those days when I could call Kati and say “Kati I m bored.. Chal lets go out for a movie” or I would message paggu “wanna come for a walk” and next 10 min she would be there.. and just ask sweetoo “hungry?? Canteen??”.. Just those days when we would keep messaging “how many chapters done??” or “arey yaar.. This topic is so sadu.. I m skipping it.. you??”.. then after those internals or exams.. we would go for Ramdev PavBhaji, ambika Pani Puri..well that guy at ambika probably would miss us if we didn’t show up atleast once in a week.. Ah!!!! Good old days.. But these days are also good.. I like them too.. New life, new excitements.. all new.. after all change is another name of life.. isn’t it??

To Kati,
Happy Married life Kati.. now that your lastname is changed.. we your friends solemnly declare that, we will continue to call you by your old name i.e kati.. and you will remain as our old and forever friend ‘KATI’.
Happy married life once again..
Take care.

ಸತ್ಯಾನ್ವೇಷಣೆ

ಕಂದ ನಿದ್ದೆಹೋಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನೆಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಕನಸ ಹೊದ್ದುಮಲಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನಸು ಮೈಮರೆತಿತ್ತು.
ಅವನೆದ್ದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮಲಗಿದಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು.
ತೆರೆದಿತ್ತು ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲೊಂದೇ ......?

ನಿದ್ದೆ ತಿಳಿದೆದ್ದ ಕಣ್ಣು ರಚ್ಚೆ ಹಿಡಿದು ಕುಳಿತಿತ್ತು.
ನೆರೆಯ ಕಣ್ಣೋಟ ಹೊರೆಯಾದ ಬದುಕು.
ಕುದ್ದು ಹೊದ ಬಾಳಿಗೆ ಕದ್ದು ಹೋದವನ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಧರೆಯ ನೆಚ್ಚಿದ ಯಶೋಧರೆಗೆ ವಸುಂಧರೆಯ ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲು.
ನದಿ ತೊರೆದ ನೀರಿನದು ದಿಕ್ಕು ತೊರೆವ ನಡಿಗೆ

ಆಲಾಪವಿಲ್ಲ,ವಿಲಾಪ ನಿಲ್ಲದ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಅವರು,ಇವರು,ಹೋದವರೆಲ್ಲ ಬಂದರು.
ಆತನೊಬ್ಬ ದಿವ್ಯಜ್ಞಾನಿಯೆಂದರು.
ಬೋಧಿವೃಕ್ಷದ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಸತ್ವ ತುಂಬಿದ ಬೆಳಕು.
ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೋಟ ಶಾಂತಿ ಚೆಲ್ಲುವ ಕಾಂತಿ.

ಜೋಡಿ ಜೀವವಾಗಿ ಮಿಡಿದ ಮನ ಕಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕೆಲಕ್ಷಣ.
ದುಗುಡ ಹೊತ್ತಮನಕ್ಕೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಗೂಡಿನ ತವಕ.
ಸರದಿಯ ಸಾಲು ಕಣ್ಣು ತುಂಬುವಷ್ಟು ದೂರ.
ಸರತಿಯ ದಾರಿಯ ನಡುವೆ ಗುರುತು ಸಿಗಲೆಂಬ ಪುಳಕ
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಯುಗಸಂದ ದಾರಿ,
ದೂರಸರಿದ ನೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಗರದ ಬಯಕೆ.

ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೀಲಿಗೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಸೊಗಸು.
ತೀರದ ಆತಂಕ,ಆತ್ಮಾನುಕಂಪಕ್ಕೂ ಅರ್ಪಣೆಯ ಭಾವ.
ಗಮ್ಯ ಸೇರಿದ ಹನಿಗೆ ಅದರದ್ದೇ ಸಾರ್ಥಕತೆ.
ತೆರೆದ ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾವ ಬಾಗಿಲ ಹಂಗು.?

-ಅಮ್ಮ (ಶೈಲಜಾ ಗೋರನ್ಮನೆ)

"You' ve got A WISH"

“Hey.. you have a 'WISH' “I said was with my friend sitting in a CCD.

“What?? What I have??” He asked.

“Arey!! A 'WISH' “ I answered.

“What?? Whats that?” he asked again.

"Offo!! You dont know what a 'WISH' is?? Ok.. I ll explain..” I said picking up that small, feathery eyelash that was fallen just below his right eye. I felt like a small kid carrying a butterfly in her hand, all so careful and full of excitement to show it to her friends..

I continued“Look.. THIS is a WISH” that eyelash was on my forefinger tip.

“Well.. whats the point?? can you explain further??” he had a sarcastic tone, but I was too involved in explaining him what that 'WISH' was.

I continued ,“Well.. they say..”

“Wait.. who they??” he interrupted.. he wanted everything to be specific, he was a tech-guy after all..

“Hmmm.. 'They' means.. people who believe in this concept of 'WISH'” I had to explain him in a very technical way as he was someone who could not understand anything unless and until its said clearly.. 'NO AMBUGUITY PLEASE' must have been his slogan..

“Ok.. any specific instance or its jusst a abstract group of people?” he asked for more.

“Its just a group of NORMAL people, I dont know if they are abstract or not..” I said.

“Hmmm.. You continue..” he finally allowed me to explain.

“Well they say..If you have a wish in your heart that you REALLY REALLY want it to be true and you find a fallen eyelash which is called 'WISH', then you gotta close your eyes and make that wish in your mind... and blow the 'WISH' (eyelash) to the wind” I said all so excited thinking of he making a wish...

“So?? what happens if you do so??” he was still not convinced.

“Arey that wish will come true.. Now dont let your wish go waste.. make a wish, make a wish.. any wish that you want..” I literally had to force him to make the wish. But by the time he made one wish, the wind had made one..

He was laughing at me as I was little upset for he not utilizing the 'WISH', he asked.

“Niveditha, do you really believe in this concept of 'WISH'?”

“Well.. I Dont know” I said reluctantly.

“'I dont know' was not an option” he was forcing me to give an answer..

“I know its really weird.. but..” I was thinking for an answer as I really didnt know what I believed in and what I didnt, what I liked and what I didnt.. I was confused.. I continued..

“I know its weired.. Its not that I really believe that the wish will come true.. But whats wrong it trying??” I asked him in full confidence.

“Trying?? Trying what??”he was looking into my eyes.

“Trying in this 'WISH' thing.. See.. even if there is 1% probability of the wish coming true.. why not take a chance??” I said turning my eyes down. .

“1% ?? you think there is 1% probability of this thing to be true??” he stressed that '1%'.

“Ya.. why not??see anyways that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash is fallen and is of no use.. So why not use it in this way?? atleast you will be happy for sometime thinking that your wish will come true”I asked him in full confidence.

“Niveditha.. one doesnt need this fallen eyelash to make his wish come true, one needs to put all his efforts, give it to the fullest he can to make it true” he explained.

“Ya.. I know, I know.. I m not telling that I ll make a wish and sit quite.. Even I believe in what you said.. but sometimes even if you give all your 100% you have a fear of loosing it. There is little uncertainity,there are always some 'what if??' kind of questions.. and concepts like 'WISH' will help you to overcome those fears and move ahead and give your fullest,forget the uncertainty for sometime atleast. Anyways look.. that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash will also feel good that it was also a part of making somebodys wish true wat say??” I winked my eye to him.

“what?? Eyelash will fffffeeeeeellllll something??” he was disgusted.

“Yes..It will feel 'aaj mera janam sarthak hogaya' he he he” I wanted to make the moment light.. so was making some fun and was trying to drift off the topic.. but he was not willing.. he said..

“Niveditha, When your giving your 100% and calculating all the risk factors and planning accoringly then there is not fear of failing.”

“welll.. not always... If what you said was true then why till today you dont find a single zero-defect application/code?? there is always a little uncertainity associated with every wish, everything you do.. right??” I asked him back.

“I dont understand.. I mean how can you believe in such a stupid thing??”

I wanted to finish the topic.. I was angry now.. I said..

“look we both are in 2 different verticles of life and we both have two very different dimensions. So even if I sit and explain you this you ll not agree with me.. and trust me.. my intension here is NOT to convince anybody.. I follow few thing and I follow.. If you dont want to follow leave it.So lets stop this discussion here.. I m very hungry.. hmm.. I ll take a 'DevilsOwn' with chocolate sauce and one black forest” I had to take a breath.. I had spoken a long sentence..

“Well.. ok.. as you say..” he said and went to put the order..
Finally I took a sigh of relief!!!!!!!!

ತವಕ

ಸಣ್ಣದೊಂದು ಚಿಗುರು,

ಬೆಳೆದು ಮರವಾಗುವ ಆಸೆ,

ಹಣ್ಣು ಹೂವಾಗುವ ಕನಸು,

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಬೆಳಕಿನ ಕನವರಿಕೆ,

ನಿಲ್ಲುವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಎಣಿಕೆ ಚಕ್ರ.

ಕೂಡಿ-ಕಳೆದು-ಗುಣಿಸಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು...

ಸಂಜೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು

ನಾಳೆಯ ಕಾಯುವುದೇ ಕಾಯಕ.

ಬೇಸರಕ್ಕೆ ಇಂದು ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಮುಂದೆ ನೋಡಿದರಾಯಿತು..

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಸೋಲುವ ಭಯ.

ಕತ್ತಲೆಗೆ ಹೆದರಿ ನಡೆಯುವುದ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಬೇಕೆ?

ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳು ಕಡಿಮೆಯೇ?

ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದರೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರವಾಗುವುದು ಹೇಗೆ??!!

ಕಣ್ಣ ಕಂಬನಿಯನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗಬೇಕು,

ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳ ನೋವನ್ನ ಮರೆಯಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು.

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು.

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ

DreamBoy,
ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಸರು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ 'Dear','Sweetheart','honey' ಅಂತಾ ಏನೂ prefix ಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ ನಂಗೆ. Anyways ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದೀನಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಕಳೆದ ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಇಲ್ಲೆ ಇದೀಯಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ, ಅದೇನೋ ಹೇಳಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಿರುಗ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಮೇಲೆ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ, ನೀನಿಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಕ್ಕು ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ ಆಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೆ ಕಣೊ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಯ್ತು 2 ತಿಂಗಳು ಭುಬನೇಸ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಸಮಯ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೇ ಗೊತ್ತಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿ harry, kavi ಎಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ತುಂಬಾ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೊ.. ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಹಿಂದಿನದೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸ್ತೀನಿ... ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನೆನೆಸಿದಾಗ್ಲೂ ಅದೇ ರೋಮಾಂಚನ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕಿರುನಗೆ ನನಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕೊಡತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಂಥದ್ದೆ.
ಮೊದಲ ಸಲ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ನನ್ನ friends ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, "he is so cute, look at his smile,its soo pure"ಅಂತಾ. ನನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿತ್ತು ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತಾ!!ನನಗೆ ಹೇಳಿಕೋಳ್ಳೋಂಥ ಖುಷಿಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, excitment ಆಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನಗೂ ನಿನಗೋ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪರಿಚಯ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ..and you know that I m not a kind of girl who 'wow's guys, or falls easily for guys, ಆದ್ರೂ ನೀನು ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನಕ್ಕಾಗಲೂ ಅದೇನೋ, ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ tension, stress ಎಲ್ಲ 2 ಸೆಕೆಂಡ್ ಮರೆತುಬಿಡತಿದ್ದೆ. Events finalise ಮಾಡೋದು, judges, budget, arrangments ಅಂತಾ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಮಯವನ್ನ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕಳೆದ್ವಿ, ಆದ್ರೂ ನಾವಿಬ್ರು ಸುಮ್ ಸುಮ್ನೆ timepass ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕಡಿಮೇನೇ. ಅಲ್ವಾ? college fest timeನಲ್ಲಿ ನನಗೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಅದ್ಯಾರಿಗೋ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಜಗಳ ಆಗಿತ್ತು ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ? ಆಗ ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ "Nivi, Dont worry, ನಿಂದೇನೂ ತಪ್ಪಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ", and then you had given me the same smile.. that meant to me so much.. ಗೊತ್ತಾ? and then i used to ask you smile everytime HOD scolded me, everytime things werent right.. or just everytime I felt low. Till today.. ಇವತ್ತಿನ ತನಕಾ ಕೂಡ ನಿನ್ನ ಆ smile ನೆನಸ್ತೀನಿ.
College fest was over, but that wasnt the end.. ಮೊದಮೊದಲು ಬರೀ fwd msg, ಆನಂತರ ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ chatting, ಆಮೇಲೆ calls, and then late night calls.. ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಾಗೋದು Rex cafe.. ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ.. :-) ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ?
ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ ಬರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನನಗೇನೂ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, ಅಥವಾ so called "ಆ ಥರದ ಭಾವನೆ"ಯಾಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಯಾಕಂದ್ರೆ we never felt it something strange, I always felt that you wer my very good friend, and ನೀನೂ ಕೂಡ.. it was all so casual, and normal.. rite? ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನೀನು call ಮಾಡಿ "Nivi, shall I pick you up?" ಅಂತಾ ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ok ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. and then.. it had to happen!! bridge ದಾಟೋಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಶುರುಆಯ್ತು. ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ.. ನಾವು ಸುಮಾರು ಹೊತ್ತು railway station ಹತ್ರ ಇರೋ ಆ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನಿಂತಿದ್ವಿ?? ನಾನು ಛಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡಗೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ jacket ತೆಗೆದು ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ, ಥೇಟ್ moviesನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗುತ್ತಲ್ಲ ಅದೇ ಥರಾ!! I was like, how can I take?? ಅಲ್ವಾ? ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಿದ್ದೆ.. 3ನೇ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗಲೂ ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಾಗ ನೀನೇ ಹೊದೆಸಿದ್ದೆ.. again movies ನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗೋ ಥರಾ.. that was the 1st time a guy did something like that to me.. I was confused.. because this always happens only in movies, or novels or in my dreams.. but, but never it was supposed to happen with me in MY REAL life.. I was confused.. but you were normal and as casual as you always used to be.. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನಾನು ತುಂಬಾ ತಲೆಕೆಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನನ್ನ friends ಮಾತ್ರಾ ಇದನ್ನ ಕೇಳಿ, " nivi, so romantic!!" ಅಂದಿದ್ರು..
ಆಮೇಲೆ ನಾವು Rex cafeಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಆಡಿದ ಮಾತು ಇನ್ನೂ ನೆನ್ನೆ ತಾನೆ ಆಡಿದೀವೇನೋ ಅನ್ನೋಥರಾ ನೆನಪಿದೆ.. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ recent poem ಒಂದನ್ನ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, ನೀನು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಾನೂ ಸರಿಯದೇ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದೆ. ಆನಂತರ ಆ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ ramdev ತನಕ walk ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ? ನಿನ್ನ jacketನ ಪರಿಮಳ ನನಗಿನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಕಣೋ.. ಆ walkನಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೆನೇನು ಮಾತಾಡಿದ್ವೋ.. ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಚ್ಚುಚ್ಚು ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳು, ಅನಿಸಿಕೆಗಳು, ಕನಸುಗಳು.. ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ?? ಈಗ ನೆನೆಸ್ತಾ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ಎಷ್ಟೋಂದು ನೆನಪುಗಳು.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಬಿಡಬೇಕು, ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಲ್ಲ...ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳ ನಂತರ ನಿನಗಾಗಿ 4 ಸಾಲುಗಳನ್ನ ಬರದಿದ್ದೀನಿ.. ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ?
ಜುಮು ಜುಮು ಮಳೆ,
ನೀನು,
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನೀ ಬರೆದ ಕವನ.
ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆ ಸಾಗರದ ಮಂದ ಅಲೆ,
ಬಾನು,
ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆವ ಕ್ಷಣ

ಇಷ್ಟ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ?
ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೋ.. ನನಗೀ ಊರನ್ನ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣೋ, ನಾವು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು ಈ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ.. btw chinmay ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಪ್ಪ ಆಗಿದಾನೆ..ಆದ್ರೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಿಸ್ತಾನೆ. ok baba.. ನಿನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಲ್ಲ.. You are the most handsome guy i have ever seen.. ನಿನ್ನ ಎದುರಿಗೆ Brad Pitt ಕೂಡಾ waste.. ಸರಿನಾ?happy?? ಹಾ... ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಸಂದೀಪ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. he said something that I really liked it.. so thot of sharing it with u.. I know you ll also like it. It was one of the phrases worth collecting.. it goes something like this..
"I like people like you, who make people like me like people like you, like you." ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲ?last 'like you' redundant ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ..but it is not.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ? ತಲೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಅಲ್ಲಡಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ? ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ವಾ? uff!! I somehow knew it.. waste ಇದೀಯಾ.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆದ್ರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆದಾಯ್ತು.. ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೂ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ.. ಸರಿನಾ??
ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಿಗ್ತೀನಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ...
Take care. ಅಲ್ಲಿ local trains ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗಿ ಬಿಡಬೇಡ..processing timeನ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ(he he he.. i m sorry for this) ಸರಿ bye.