Dear Dairy, Its at times like this I feel.. "What happened??"," It is wrong to change yourself for the ones you love?, Is it that difficult to change your habits, your likes and dislikes for someone you know that he/she loves you a LOT??","Itsn't it OK to compromise a bit here and there with almost everything for what you call 'LOVE'??
And almost simultaneously, I hear another thought in my head, and I remember a message I had got a long years ago,
"He who accepts you the way you are, is your true love"
"TRUE LOVE?? Hell.. does that even exist??" reminds my other mind.
You know, when I had started listening to the westen music, Glen was one of my favourites.I still love when he sings, "Nothing's gonna change my love for you.."
I remember a line from that song..
I love you just the way you are.."
And both these parties in my head arguing, one which says,
"you cannot have LOVE without compromises"
And the other which constantly repeats...
"True love doesnt expect you to change"
And now.. its my turn to decide, which side to choose..
I anyways believe, "TRUE LOVE DOESN'T EXIST", So i decide to live with the compromises. However, some questions in my head stand like a dangling pointer with no answers attached to it..
Why did I become so dependent?? Why do I need someone's message to wake me up in the morning and say "Good morning, honey..",
Why did that one SOMEONE's opinion counts so much that i dont even consider my own opinion and I compromise? ofcourse sometimes willingly and some other times unwillingly..anyways.. the result ends up for a compromise.. why??
You know, when we friends catch up,and they ask..
"What is that you miss the most about your spinster times??",
The answer instantly pops up my head,
"FREEDOM, Freedom of wearing anything, anytime, anywhere... Freedom to watch my type of movies, Freedom to eat what I love to eat.. Its FREEDOM I miss the most.." However I dont say this infront of them.
I simply give my best of smiles and say..
"Nothing"!!!!ow, what a beautiful way to defend your spouse!!!
I try to convince myself, I succeed too. I convinced myself for a relationship. I convinced myself for a marriage. I have convinced myself that I can make a good wife, but what about the WANDERER in me?? Tears swell up my eyes as I can hear my INSIDE gives me the answer to the question..
I almost have no option left, isn't it??
Why is it that I am never statisfed??
why is it that I can never stop at a thing??
For now, I have to hide the WANDERER in me and hope to never let it out.
Anyways.. thats it for now..
Good night dairy.
Disclaimer : This is my imaginary work piece.