To : Niveditha
Subject : WOW!! Congrats..
Congratulations!!! So finally you did it huh?? how was your FIRST FLITE??
were you caught by the security there for taking something that should not be taken?? actually you should have lost a lot of money.. not actually money.. but your cosmetics and deos and moisturisers and body lotions... he he he.. kidding.. so tell me about it.. everything..
From : Niveditha
Subject: Re: WOW!! Congrats...
1st things 1st.. when will you stop pulling my legs? huh?? I didnt have that much of cosmetics!! wel.. not as much as that 'wack-wack girl' Priya has.. anyways.. my FIRST ever flight experience.. hmmm.. wow... Sidd cant help it.. it was very good!!
Wel.. god bless our clients who had their production issue.. he he he.. so it got decided the last day at 9 in the night that me and my collegue have to go to Client site the next day. immediately we raised a travel request and all that formalities.. Seriously sidd!! I was too excited!! I dint know what to pack, what documents are required.. OMG!! I was excited, scared anxious.. afraid..
but then it was my first flight!! so uff!! I was excited to death!!!
wel.. the rest of the story later.. gotta work honey!!(Sarcastic!!!)
From : Siddharth
Subject: I want the WHOLE STORY!!!
My Dear Friend Niv..
Stop wanting so much of attention and importance girl.. I know you just want me to ask you for more.. miss little 'I-am-Busy-gotta-work' girl... tell me now.. or else i will curse you that you will never get a husband!!! ;) :P
Subject: You are REALLY BAD!!
UGH!!!! what a black-mail!!! Ok Ok.. i will tell you the story.. so I was tottally excited. BTW.. I am sorry. I couldnt call you.. you understand right?? I came back to my room by 10:30 and then inform my parents, my grand-parents, all my uncles and aunties.. huh!! by the time I finished the calls it was 11.30 and then pack... anyways.. I know I dont have to apologize to you as you owe me so many apologises!! he he he..
ok.. So next day my cab came sharp at 6:30 in the morning. I was all set. me and my collegue were supposed to meet in airport. So I was alone in the cab.. you know Bangalore is so beautiful early in the mornings.. Its.. cant say in words.. its beeeaaauuuttiifulll.. its chill, the mist n the smell of that fresh air.. Sidd!! you know after a very long i felt so peace.. a state of mind where you know.. the chill breeze brushes your face, and you hair strands fly.. and you make no efforts to put them back.. you are left with no option than to close your eyes and smile... you know that kind of a state.. you getting me right??
Subject: Re:You are REALLY BAD.
We have come such a long way right?? From irresponsible college students to intellectual, so matured people.. We still have fun.. hang out.. but some where down the line.. that maturity has come.. Responsibility has taken over our insecurities.. right?? When you said that 'close-your-eyes-and-smile' state of mind.. I could feel myself doing that Niv.. Anyways.. tell me further..
Subject: The whole story
yes we have come a long way.. and there is still a lot of journey pending.. untill and unless we enjoy the journey.. we cant enjoy the joy of reaching the destination..right?? So where was I?? Yes.. so I was in the cab.. enjoying the cool breeze.. hmmm.. you know the road to BIA is so beautiful.. Near that fly-over.. there is such a nice garden n all.. I liked it.
And when I reached the airport, I saw my collegue.. I tell you till then I had forgotten about my flight. He he.. I was enjoying the breeze.. and then me and my collegue went inside.. I dint know what to do. So he was leading me. We took boarding passes (Jet airways) and then got the security check done. and then we were waiting to board. I saw the shopperstop and al those shops. we were chatting. He was really a good company. He was explaining me about different kinds of Airplanes and the business behind it and all that stuff..
and then when it was time to board.. I couldnt beleive I was actually going to fly..
you know.. when I was a kid or till then before I got into the flight.. I always thought how would it be to fly.. you know to see the earth from top.. go in between clouds.. feel like you are God!! you are an angel.. right??
When the plane actually started to fly.. I was litterally on cloud 9.. excited like a child. Me and my collegue were enjoying.. He showed me what is what from top.. like the builings.. I felt like I was watching bangalore in google-maps.. but its wonderful feeling.
The rows and rows of clouds.. The actual blue and white.. wow!! Sidd.. I have no words to explain..
God really bless my clients.. he he he..
From : Siddarth
Subject : Re: The whole story
I understand.. My 1st flight was the international one.. I was excited too and you know that we have talked about being in sky so many times.. I understand.
So congratualtions for your first flight.. so when is the party??
Subject: Re:Re: The whole Story
Sidd.. Thanks.. but.. I dono.. Y is life so strange?? I agree.. that it gives us what we want.. but not when we want right?? It really has a strage sense of humor..
you know.. I really am happy with my office and work.. and sometimes I feel thats the reason for my being.. but in my personal life.. I feel I suck!! I m not liking anything.. I dont feel good about anything. I like it at office .. not in room.. I want it to be working day the whole week.. i hate weekends..
I dont want to have a personal life.. you know I am bugged about my life.. the other day when I was coming from office,.. i saw a man sitting infront of me wearing a t-shirt. It said "Everything will be Ok"
you know what I thought?? I laughed.. and thought.."Hatts off to you life.. You really have a great sense of humor.. or should I say a great sense of sarcasm.."
Sidd.. something is missing sidd!! and the worst part is I am not able to find what it is..
Subject: Re: re: re: The Whole Story
Niv.. Lets meet this weekend.!! Its been a lot of times You rejected.. now its an Order. I will come to you room if you dont agree to meet. So keep yourself free this weekend.. I dont want your 'I-Have-to-work-this-weekend' crap.. understand?? We SERIOUSLY need to talk about YOU!!!
Now.. get back to work..
After a point of time.. ನನ್ನ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವೂದೇ ಯೋಚನೇಗಳೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. I am blank and empty.. ಒಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು.. ಮಳೆಗೆ ಈ ಥರದ magic ಯಾರು ಕಲಿಸಿಕೊಟ್ಟರೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. It takes over all the sounds.. ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿರೋ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ, ಹೊರಗೆ roadನಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇರೋ ಗಾಡಿಗಳ ಸದ್ದಾಗಿರಲಿ.. Rain takes over it. ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೇನೋ magic ಇದೆ.. It gives you life.. a faith to hang on to.. A dream to beleive.. A magic which promises miracles.. A LIFE to move on no mater what happens.. its till continues to pour its melody on you..
I sometimes ask myself.. specially times when I am you know my life is standing still.. there is nothing HAPPENING about it.. None of my dreams come true.. Times when I have difficulty in beleiving myself.. Times when I need, badly need something to beleive that things will change.. Its this Rain which gives me strength.. ಮಳೆ.. ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೂ.. ಅದೇನೋ ಒಂದು ಭರವಸೆ ಇದೆ ಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ಮಳೆ..
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??
ಬರೆವ ಪ್ರತೀ ಗೆರೆಯೂ
ಕಡೆಗೂ ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಕಾಯ್ತು...
ಈ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೋತ್ತರ ಮುಗಿಯದು..
ಯಾವ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ??"
"Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday dear Niviiiii....
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu...."
ನನ್ನ birthday celebration... ನನ್ನ room-mates ಚಂದದ cake ತಂದಿದಾರೆ... ನನಗೋಸ್ಕರ roomನೆಲ್ಲ decorate ಮಾಡಿದಾರೆ....
"Hey.. Nivi... Make a wish.."
"ಓಯ್!!! ಏನ್ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೋ?? ನಾಳೆ ನಂಗೆ office ಇದೆ.. ಈ ರಾತ್ರಿಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ??"
"Nivvi.. ಎಷ್ಟು questions ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ... ಸುಮ್ನೆ ಬಾ..ನಂಗೆ bike ride ಮಾಡೊಕೆ ತೊಂದ್ರೆ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ.. "
"he he he... ಒಳ್ಳೆ joke!!!Please ಕಣೋ.. ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದೀವಿ ಅಂತಾನಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ಈ ಥರಾ ಹನ್ನೂಂದುವರೆ -ಯಷ್ಟೋತ್ತಿಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿಯಾ??"
"ನಿಂಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇದೆ ಅಲ್ವಾ??"
"ಅರೆ, ನಂಬಿಕೆ.. ಹ್ಮ..."
"ಸರಿ ಹಾಗಿದ್ರೆ, ಈಗ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ನನ್ನ ಘಟ್ಟಿ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತ್ಗೋ.. ok??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... ಸರಿ.. ಈ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಈಥರ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ... wel.. its really a 'WOW' feeling ಕಣೋ.."
ಕನ್ನಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿನ್ನ expression ಕಾಣಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಬೆನ್ನಿಗೇ ಅಂಟಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿ, ಕಣ್ಣ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡೆ.. ತಣ್ಣನೆ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ಮನಸ್ಸು ತಂಪಾದ ಅನುಭವ...
ನಿನ್ನೆದೆಗೆ ನನ್ನಾನಿಸಿಕೋ ಗೆಳೆಯ,
ಬರಡಾದ ಭೂಮಿ ಚಿಗುರಿಕೊಂಡೀತು.
ಮುತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ಕರೆದುಬಿಡು ಹೆಸರ,
ತಂಪು ತಂಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಬಿಸಿಯೇರೀತು.
"Oye!!! where you lost Madam?? Make a wish.. make a wish... Blow the candles.."
"yes.. come on.."
"Nivvi.. ಈಗ ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.. I will have to blindfold you..."
"Blind fold??? Please ಕಣೋ... ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ?? Tell me whats happening??"
"ಆಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮೂರ್ಛೆ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಬರಬೇಕಿತ್ತು ನೋಡು... You ask too many questions.. Now ಕಣ್ ಮುಚ್ಚು.."
"Agh!!!! Ok... ಆ ಮೇಲೆ ನಂಗೇನಾದ್ರು ಆದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹೊಣೆ.."
"Ok, baba.. ಈಗ ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಕೊಂಡು ನಡಿ... and follow my instructions.. ಸರಿನಾ??"
"ಹ್ಮ್... Ok.. ನೀನೊ, ನಿನ್ನ suprisesಓ..."
ಕಣ್ಣ ಮೇಲೊಮ್ಮೆ ಸವರಿಬಿಡು ಕೈಯ,
ಬಣ್ಣದ ಕನಸು ಮೂಡೀತು
ಒಂಚೂರು ಹಂಚಿಬಿಡು ಉಸಿರ,
ಇಂಚಿಂಚಲೂ ಕಂಪು ಹರಡೀತು.
"Nivvi.. How was the cake??"
"Nivvi.. Tell us what wish did you make??"
"Arey.. She must have wished for a handsome husband... he he he.."
"So... This is it.. Open your eyes.. Nivvi.."
ನಾನು ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಕಣ್ಣು ತರೆದಿದ್ದೆ....
WooooooWWWWW..!!!! I was speechless..
what a beautiful lake...
ಕೆರೆ, ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಉದರತಾ ಇರೋ ಮಳೆ ಹನಿ, ಆ ಸೂಯ್ ಅನ್ನೋ ಗಾಳಿಯ ನವಿರಾದ ಸದ್ದು, ಜೊತೆಗೇ ಹರಡಿರೋ ಒದ್ದೆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಕಂಪು,ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ, ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ಕೈ, ನಡಗತಾ ಇರೋ ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಿ ಹಿಡಿದ ನೀನು...
ಅಷ್ಟೋಂದು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯೇನೋ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??
ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನಿಗೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣ ಸಣ್ಣ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ, ಗುಲಾಬಿ-ಕೆಂಪು ಬಣ್ಣದ ಹಗುರು ಮೋಡ... ಆಕಾಶದ ಬಿಂಬ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಿಂತ ಕೆರೆಯ ನೀರು....
ಅಹ್!! ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ ನನ್ನ ನೀನು??
ನಿನ್ನ ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಚಂದ್ರ
ಇಣುಕಿ ನೋಡುವ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ
ನಾನು ನೀನಾಗಲು ಇನ್ನೇನು ಬೇಕು??
"Nivvi... So what plans for the day??"
"Hey.. chalo.. lets dance.. Nivvi.. tell us your favourite song.. lets dance.."
"ನನಗೇನು ಹೇಳಲಿ ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತಾಗತಾ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ..."
"Nivvi... " ನನ್ನ ಕಿವಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತಿರದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು.. ಆ ಬಿಸಿ ಉಸಿರಿಗೆ ನನ್ನೆದೆ ಒಂದು ಘಳಿಗೆ ನಿಂತಂತಾಗಿತ್ತು...
"Nivvi.. ಏನೂ ಹೇಳಬೇಡ.."
ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನ jacketನಿಂದ ಒಂದು pastry ತೆಗೆದೆ ನೀನು, ಪುಟ್ಟ ಪುಟ್ಟ candles, ನನಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟವಾದ White and pink Lillies...
"Happy birthday My Love..." ಮತ್ತೆ ಪಿಸಿಗುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ, ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ನಡಿವಿನ ಗಾಳಿಗೂ ಕೇಳದಂತೆ..
ನಿನ್ನ ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹತ್ತಿರ ಕರೆದು, ಘಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪಿದೆ ನಾನು..
"Thank you.." ಮತ್ತೇನೂ ನನ್ನಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಡಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ...
I ws speechless.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ you would me make me fall in love with you very moment.. each and Every moment...
I fell in Love with you everytime.. as if it was the very first time...
"I Love YOU.. Nivvi..." ನಿನ್ನ ಧ್ವನಿಯೊಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ನನಗೆ ಇಡೀ ಜಗತ್ತಿನ ಪರಿವೇ ಇರಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಅದು ಯಾವಗ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಹನಿ ಉದುರಿತೋ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ, ಆ ಥರ... ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡತಿದ್ದೆ???
I was too much filled with emotions... and you were looking at me as if you understood every bit of it..
I hugged you close.. very close to my heart...
ಆಕಾಶದಡಿ, ಆ ಕೆರೆಯ ದಡದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪುಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು...
ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ, ಅದರ ರೀತಿಗೆ
ಕಣ್ಣ ಹನಿಗಳೆ ಕಾಣಿಕೆ...
"Haan?? Yes.. AUhmmm... I would like to listen to.. Ahmmm.. Any song.. Any.."
ನಾಳೆಯ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ನೀನಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ!!!!
ದಟ್ಟ ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಾನು..
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕಿನ್ನೂ ನಾನು..
ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ನೆನೆವ
ಅದಾರದೋ ಎದುರಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆತ
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಡುವ ನೆರಳು..
ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪಿಸುಗುಟ್ಟು ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಡುವ ದನಿ
ದೂರ ನಡೆಯಬೇಕು ಇನ್ನೂ..
ಇಬ್ಬರಾದರೂ ಒಬ್ಬರಾದಂತ ನಾನು..
ನನ್ನೊಡನೆ ಹಗುರಾಗುವ ಬಾನು..
She: "grt.. bt alone feels wow??"
Me: "Ys!! Feels so independent, so.. confident.."
She: "Hmm.. after a long time my roommate is here.. feels good to have someone around"
Me: "Hmm.. feels good only if u have someone worth having.."
She:" Nivi.. Its ok.. dont think so much.."
She: "I think u r becoming too independent.. so much that u feel nobody is worth having around" Me : "Ahh!! what ever.. I m enjoying myself"
She: " Nivi.. U cant be alone all ur life.."
Me: "Does it matter??"
She: "Yes it does.."
Me: "whatever.. y do u want to speak abt it now?? I m tired.. Just finished packing..
I even gotta shift my room.. I dont even have a boyfriend who is gonna help me out.. "
She: "Hmmm.. K.."
Me: "So you coming on 17,18th to blore??"
She: "Wel.. I want to come. But i dono if i can.. u know i have this project.."
Me: "Ya.. I know.. I ll call kati,shrado, juhi,manik also.. I just want all of us
to meet again.."
She: "Ya.. but dont keep high expectations nivi.. if I cant.. "
Me: "I ll understand..I m used to disappointments..he he he.. kidding.."
She: "wats so kidding abt it??!! :\"
Me: "Ok baba, U plz.. try to come.."
She: "ya.. i will.. anyways.. if I cant.. Paggu is with u.."
Me: "Ya.. I she is.."
She: "Hmmm.. Nivi.. dont become so much independent yaa.. i m scared for u.."
Me: "Arey.. nothing like that.. i m fine.. ABSOLUTELY FINE!!"
She: "Hmmm.. So when u shifting to ur new PG?"
Me: "Its just 12:30.. will have food, take a nap, freshen up n then leave by 4 or 5"
She:"Oh... PG mein aakhri baar khana"
Me: "Ya.. now.. madam..my msgs cost me!!"
She: "Thats ok.. U dont even have a boyfrn to chat or call.. ;) "
Me: "Mere akelepan ka fhayda utha rahi ho tum.. ;) "
She: "He he he.."
Me: "K then.. Make sure u have ur tickets for 17,18th.. bye"
She:"Will try my best.. n ya.. happy shifting n all the best for the new one!! Bye"
Me: "Thx.. Bye.."
It was all so set in my mind. I had rehearsed this ‘The-moment’ for some 1000 times a day. I had it all clear. When I met you I would come to you, little nervous as I get always every time I think of you, and offer you a handshake with a little tensed smile on my face and lots of admiration in my eyes. You would also shake my hand and ask me a very natural question
“Hi.. How do I know you??”
I would say in a little trembling voice,
“Hi.. you don’t know me.. but.. I know everything about you.. Every damn thing”
You would still have so much of questions in your mind and I would read them in my mind. I would realize that you are in-need of clarification, so I would say
“Well, It’s a long story. Please let me explain over a cup of coffee??”
and you would say
From there after I didn’t know, If you would believe what I told you, or I didn’t know how I would convince you.. But all I needed is to speak to you. Speak to you once and let you know what was happening with me. But, I didn’t know that I would meet you like this…
I knew that you will come to this music concert. I knew every thought that would cross your mind. My mind was like your mind. I mean, a part of my mind had become your mind. I was able to know every thought you thought. Every move you want to make. I knew what was running in your mind when your boss called you for a meeting or when you saw a beautiful girl on the road, or when you had confusions regarding what to eat, what to buy, what to do on a week end. I knew exactly how you felt for your friends, your parents, your ex.. you still loved her.. I knew how you felt when you got any news from her. Well.. for me it was like my own mind. I knew your past. I had all the memories that you have. The memories of your first kiss, your sister’s first birthday gift, the memories of your basketball games, your college days.. everything. You had become a part of me. You were there in my mind all the time. It was as if I were you. I had lived inside your body.
I didn’t believe in déjà vu or anything like that. I was a true believer in myself. I never even gave a thought to consider the thought of the existence, non-existence of God, the yes-No of rebirths etc. And déjà vu.. ah!!! Had never even heard of it. And then suddenly I started experiencing some unknown thoughts. Thoughts that are not mine. Memories of incidents that I never experienced. It had all started after my accident. I had one of the very common blood groups O+ve. But the blood bank didn’t have O+ve, none of my friends were of O+ve blood group.. they all thought I ll die if I was not filled with blood immediately. I was there, all unconscious not knowing what was happening around. And then I felt something.. I felt something flowing inside me.. something very wet. I felt light.. I felt as if I was flying.. to where.. I don’t know.. I didnt care.My eyes were still closed.. but what I saw was something that was so beautiful than any other thing I saw with my open eyes.. so green, so wet.. it was raining.. I was in a forest.. around me there were so many trees, plants so beautiful flowers, the sound of that rain.. I felt I was in heaven in its rainy season. I saw a big bungalow.. It was one of those forest cottages.. all alone in the deep forests.. It was beautiful.. I went inside.. and then.. I saw you.. you stood there smiling, waiting for me to hold your hands and pull you out to get wet… we were getting wet.. I could smell you.. your body had a typical fragrance.. one of its own.. And then… I heard myself breathing heavy breaths.. I was alive.
After this blood donation of yours I started feeling you in me. I saw your thoughts very clearly like I saw mine.Evn though we didn’t know each other, I had come to know all your friends,relatives.. everyone you have met and have memories of… I could see you remembering your best friends when you missed them, I would feel nostalgic when you were. I knew you like You knew yourself. I saw you so many times in my mind. Soooo now and then. I had to concentrate on my own thoughts to know what I was thinking, but your thoughts would come to me as if they were my own. So easily accessible. I had gained your knowledge in books, music and basket ball. No..I was not a basket ball player, but I knew every detail of it as if I was the one in your body who had the ball in basket in your high school and college days.
I didn’t know where you lived. But I could see you walking around. The place didn’t look familiar to me. I had a curiosity to see you physically. I wanted to tell you what was happening to me. I even tried meeting you twice. I knew you attended a classical music concert every Saturday. I had it all planned to come and meet you. But there was a strange fear. I was scared for what if you didn’t believe me? What if you thought I was insane? What if you.. you just thought I was some desperate girl trying to get you?? Ah!! So many what ifs.. I was scared.
But then its been 2 months I have started seeing you romancing with me. I don’t know if they were your thoughts or mine. I would see you with a big bunch of red roses in hand, kneeling down and proposing me. I would see you and me on a long drive on a full moon. I saw you singing for me, playing guitar in a café with a smile.. me and you walking along the river. Well.. I think these are my own thoughts. I knew you so well that I was falling for you. I started loving you. It was not just the curiosity that made me desperate to meet you, it was also the beautiful person that you were, the ability in you to love someone so deep, the ‘YOU’ in you.. that was driving me crazy. I was surely falling for you. I had to meet you.
So there I was, rehearsing the scene of our meeting in my mind 1000 times a day, just to know that we were not supposed to meet the way I thought we would. I had seen you walking through the entrance. I was already in my seat. I was getting restless. I knew you wore black a T-shirt and Blue Jeans.. I saw that in your mind, you choosing the T- shirt. I knew exactly what you were thinking when you were riding your bike. You had an instinct.. as if something big is going to happen with you. I smiled to myself when I saw that thought of yours. When you entered, I saw you searching for a seat. Little did I know that you were seated just next to me!!!! I didn’t know what to say when you asked,
“Hi.. That’s my seat.. A-12”
Well… this was not how it was supposed to be. I didn’t get a word to speak. You were so near to me. I tried to read your mind… No.. Nothing.. Silence.. I tried again… Nothing again. I didn’t realize that I was starring at you and not speaking anything. I had come back to my mind when you asked again with that heavy voice of yours..
“Excuse me.. you ok?? This is my seat..which is yours??”
I was lost again. I was hearing your voice. Something that I had never known about you before. I didn’t even think how your voice would be.. I always listed your memories, thoughts in my voice. You had a very impressive voice, one of those that suits the RJs. Very clear, very heavy, very thick.. I was lost again. You said again, a little irritated this time..
I came back from my own Riviera and said..
“Oh!! I m sorry.. I didn’t know.. My seat is A-11”
“That’s ok.. can you move please??”
“yeah sure” I said.
The music started. I tried to read your mind again to know what was it thinking. Did you think I was beautiful?? Did you think I was dumb?? I wanted know it all.. but.. I couldn’t read it. Hear it, see it.. as if there was some wall built between us. Now that I was so near to you.. should I tell you about the happenings of mine?? Would you believe?? What if you asked me to tell what is going on in your mind right now?? Why am I not able to hear to your thoughts?? I was getting irritated, restless, as if I have lost something and I am not able to remember where I have kept it. Ah!!! I tried hard, very hard to read your thoughts. I tried to remember your memories.. I failing everytime. What had happened?? I had to know the answers. I thought to myself,
“No, Not today.. I ll have to come back to him only after I got ansswers to my questions.”
I got up from my seat. Smiled at you. You smiled back. I started walking towards the exit…
What was it that was happening to me???
P. S: Hi all.. actually I wanted to end the story right here... but somehow, I was not able to find a proper ending. I was too much influenced by Stepene Mayer, Cecilia Ahren, Nicholas sparks when I was writing this. well.. so just waiting to get over with that influence and write something 'very much mine'. Will surely come up with something to end this story.
Till then Bye..
See you all again.
I was in a bus going to meet my daughter. It was her graduation day. I had to be there.
I kept my luggage in the luggage holder, and sat in the window seat. I suddenly felt old. I was 50. I was old, at least old enough to feel tired after a long day in office.
I put my ear phones and my iPod started to sing…
yu hi koi, milagaya tha.. yu hi koi.. mil
sare raah chalte chalte.. sare raah chalte chalte.."
I closed my eyes to enjoy the cool breeze. Someone patted me
“Excuse me.. are you Niveditha??”
I removed my earphone and said, “Yes..” I had a question mark on my face.
The lady who patted me was equally puzzled and said,
“Hi.. My seat is 31. Its beside that gentleman” she pointed to someone, but I couldn't see. She continued.
“I wanted an exchange of seat, that gentleman says you will be interested for exchange.. you mind exchanging the seats please??” she asked politely.
I was confused. Who was this guy?? And why would I be interested in sitting beside him?? I got up from my seat and peeped to see who the person was.
For a moment I was still. As if its all a movie and someone had pressed the pause button. I could feel my heart beat. The lady there interrupted my reverie,
“Niveditha?? Will you exchange??”
I said “ofcourse!!”
I took my luggage from the holder, went to the seat 31, put my luggage there and sat. my heart started beating.. I thought everyone there could hear my heart beat. He didn't look at me. He knew I was there. He had closed his eyes, the smile.. that same old smile was on his face as if he could read what was going on in my mind.
“25 years, 4 months, and 5 days…” he said so softly with that smile. His eyes were still closed. he opened his eyes. They were same. They had not changed at all.. except that they were little tired now, more mature. They had seen more life. He looked at me
I didn't say a word.. kept starring at him. Just kept looking at his amazed eyes.
He cleared the hair strand that was falling on my face. He said
“You are beautiful.. still so beautiful”.. he continued
“So.. how old are you now?? 50??”
“well.. you should be knowing.. one year elder to you..” I said and both of us started laughing.. and then he held my hands and said..
“Nivvuu.. I missed you..”
At that very moment I was 26 years younger than today. I was 24 again. It was a similar evening like today..26 years back…
I was working in a software company going home for some festival. I was single. I had not got a ladies seat. I was worried who will come and sit beside me. Nobody came to sit beside me. Suddenly a cute boy, with a half sleeves shirt and a jeans, really good looking guy came. He put his bag up, sat in his seat and started to wipe the sweat beads on his forehead. I turned to him and asked politely
“uuuuuu.. Hi.. look.. I have asked conductor if he can check for a seat exchange.. if there is any exchange available, we’ll have to exchange..” I waited for an answer.
He looked at me and said in a very serious tone..
“Ok.. I don’t mind.. you can go and sit anywhere..” he started laughing.
I gave that “what????” kind of look and said in a very dramatic tone
“Ha ha ha.. Very funny??” I put my ear phones into my ears. I was fuming inside.. how could he insult me like that??
He turned to me and said.. “you know.. I had almost missed the bus” he spoke as if he knew me from a long time.as if we were childhood friends.
I was really pissed off. I said “I really wished you did.. I wish u missed the bus” I said and I started opening my chips packet.
He said again “I have not had my dinner.. and I am hungry”
I looked at him.. he was kind of cute. Very cute. I asked him
“what are you doing in
He picked up few chips from the packet without even asking me.. and said
“Do I look like a student to you??”
“well.. I don’t know..” I said
“No.. I m not a student.. I m a software engineer.. I work for this company.. I just joined 4 months back.. what about you??” he smiled. I noticed for the first time.. he got those cute dimples.. he was really cute.. but he was a year younger to me!!
I said, “well I m a software engineer too.. I work for this company from 1 and a half years..”
I looked into my eyes.. and smiled and said.. “oh.. elder to me huh?? Hmmm.. so where did you do your engineering??”
I said, “From
“Hostel life huh??” I teased him.. “what was so fantastic about it??” I winked my eye.
“Well.. I got lots of knowledge there…” he winked back.
“Knowledge??” I stressed “hmm.. lots of general knowledge huh??”
We both laughed.. I suddenly started liking him. I felt as if we were some long lost friends and have met now and updating ourselves.We started speaking a lot.. we started chatting about I don’t remember what all.. I asked him about his girlfriends.. he said he had none.
I acted as if I was surprised and said.. “don’t you lie to me.. you are so charming.. any girl will fall for you”
He said.. “ Well.. I thought, I ll start with the elder women.. Thanks for the compliments though..” and winked at me.
I smiled. He was flirting with me. I also flirted. For some reason I said..
“I am elder to you.. you are not supposed to be doing this..”
He said.. “It doesn’t really matter to me if you are elder to me..”
We chatted. I laughed. Laughed like never before. I flirted without any fear. He flirted too..
I tried to sleep. Try to close my eyes. He would stare at me. I could sense it. He was constantly looking at me. He spoke so much with his eyes. I turned my face and tried to ignore him and failed every time… he didn’t miss a single vision of mine. I turned his face to other side.. he didn’t let it turn..
I did it 2 times.. when I did it again, he held my hand and let it caress his cheek.. My heart started beating fast. I took my hand back. He kept looking into my eyes. He touched my cheek He held my hand tightly.. I don’t know why.. I didn’t refuse.. I didn’t back out. I didn’t say a word… I held his hands too…. I touched his lips, his cheek… he had closed his eyes..
I suddenly realized what I was doing.. I backed off.. but he held my hands.. held it tightly.. I looked into his eyes.. they asked nothing more at that moment. I felt as if he wanted to hold my hands forever.. he spoke very softly into my ears.. his breath made my heart beat fast again.. he said.. “ you know what.. Your eyes are very beautiful.. they make me loose myself.. they make me go crazy...”
I didn’t know what to say.. I said “ I am elder to you..”
He was still holding my palm.. my fingers curled up into his.. it was a very warm feeling. It made me feel I was loosing on something all these days.. how much I wanted someone to hold me like that… but I was sure.. the ‘someone’ was not surely this guy.. he was younger to me!!! He was still looking into my eyes.. he was cute. Irresistibly cute.
He turned to me and broke that silence, “I don’t have a problem…”
I just smiled and said.. “stop flirting..” we laughed.
That night we didn’t sleep for even 10 minutes. We chatted, chatted and chatted.. he was holding my hands all the time. I was leaning on his shoulder..
After that journey I hardly met him. Of course we were in contact for sometime.. but.. later I got married, had children.. and got divorced!!!
He interrupted , “ You are beautiful.. till today.. your husband must be a very lucky man..”
I just smiled and said.. “ I am divorced!!”
He smiled and said.. “ Good for me.. I am still available.. for an extra marital affair” he winked at me.I just patted his shoulder and started the journey once again!!
-Your Dreamboy(If I am still a dream for you)
ನನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜನಮನೆಯ ಗಂಗಾಸಮಾರಧನೆ. ಮೂರನೆ ಪಂಗ್ತಿ ಊಟ ಆಗಿ ಬಳಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದ( ನೆಲ ಒರೆಸುವ ಒಂದು ವಿಧಾನ). ಕಿಡಕಿ ಕಟ್ಟೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದ ನೆಂಟರು ಸುಮಾರು ಜನ ಕುಂತ್ಗಂಡು ಸುದ್ದಿ ಹೊಡೀತಾ ಇದ್ದ. ನಾನೂ ಬಡಿಸಿದ್ದ ಕೈಯೆಲ್ಲ ತೊಕ್ಕಂಡು ಬತ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದಿ.
ಗೀತತ್ತೆ (ನನ್ನ ಅತ್ತೆ): "ಅಲ್ದೆ ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಅವರ ಮನೆ ಶ್ವೇತಕ್ಕನ ಮದುವೆಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಗಂಡಿನ ಬದಿಯವ್ವು, ಶ್ವೇತಂಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟ ಹೇಳಿ ತಂದೂರಿ ರೊಟ್ಟಿ ಮಾಡಿದಿದ್ವಡಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಯಂತಾ ಮಾಡಕಾತೆ??"
( ನಾನು ’ಮತ್ತೆ- ನನ್ನ- ಮದುವೆ- ವಿಷಯ-ಹಮ್ಮ್..’ ಅಂತಾ expression ಕೊಟ್ಟಿಕ್ಕೆ ಇನ್ನೆಂತೊ ಹೇಳ ಹೇಳೀ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದಿ)
ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ( ನನ್ನ ಚಿಕ್ಕಮ್ಮ- ನಾನು ಕರ್ಯದು ಅಕ್ಕಾ ಹೇಳಿ) :" ಅಯ್ಯಾ.. ಯಮ್ಮನೆ ನಿವೇದಿತನ ಮದ್ವೆಗೇsss ತ್ರಾಸೇ ಇಲ್ಲೆ.. ಅದ್ಕ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಹೇಳಿ ಒಂದು ತೊವೆ, ದಡ್ಲಿ ಕಾಯ್ ಉಪ್ಪಿನಕಾಯಿ, ಖಾರ ಮೆಣಸಿನ್ ಕರೆ ಸಂಡ್ಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರಾಗೋತು.. ಅಲ್ದನೆ ನಿವೇದಿತಾ???!!!"
ನಾನು: "ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ.. ಹೌದು.. ಅದ್ರೆ ಗಂಡಿನ ಬದಿಯೌಕೆ ತ್ರಾಸಿಲ್ಲೆ. ನಿಂಗಕಿಗೆ ತ್ರಾಸೆಯಲೆ?? ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ.. ಶ್ವೇತಕ್ಕನ ಅಪ್ಪನ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಚೊಲೊ ಊಟಾನೇ ಮಾಡಿದಿದ್ವಲೆ??"
ಗಂಗಾ ಸಮಾರಧನೆಯ ಮುನ್ನೆಣೆ (ಹಿಂದಿನ) ದಿನದ ರಾತ್ರಿ. ಊಟ ಮುಗಿಸಿಕ್ಯಂಡು ಮನಕ್ಯಮಲೆ ಹೇಳಿ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಮೆತ್ತಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತಿ ಹಾಶಿಗೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಕುಂತ್ಗಂಡು ಸುದ್ದಿ ಹೊಡಿತಾ ಇದ್ದ( ನಾನು, ಅಮ್ಮ, ನನ್ನ ಇಬ್ರೂ ಮಾವ, ಅತ್ತೆ, ತಮ್ಮಂದಿಕ್ಕ, ನನ್ನ ಕಾಕ, ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ, ಅಜ್ಜ, ಆಯಿ, ಮತ್ತೆ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ- ನನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜಿ.)
ಜೊತತ್ತೆ( ನನ್ನ ಸಣ್ಣತ್ತೆ):
" ಅಲ್ದೇ.. ಶೈಲತ್ಗೆ.. ಔರಂಗಾಬಾದನಲ್ಲಿ ಚರ್ಮದ bagಎಲ್ಲ ರಾಶಿ ಚೊಲೋ ಸಿಗ್ತು ಹೇಲಿದಿದ್ಯಲೆ.. ಸುಳ್ಳ ಸುಳ್ಲ ಹೇಳಿದ್ಯಲೇ.. ಅಲ್ಲೀಗೇಯಾ ಬ್ಯಾರೆ ಬದಿಯಿಂದಾವ ತ್ರಸ್ವಡಾ.."
ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ: ಇಶ್ ಶಿಶ್ರೋss.. ಯಾನು ಸುಳ್ಳೇ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಳ್ ಮಾಡವು ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೆ. ನೀನು ಖರೆ ಹೇಳಿ ನಂಬ್ಕ್ಯ ಬುಟ್ಯಲೇ ಮಳ್ಳುsss...( ಜೋರಾಗಿ ನಗು)
ಸವಿತಕ್ಕಾ:"ಜ್ಯೋತಿ.. ಸುಳ್ಳೇಯಾ ಹsssss!! ಇದ್ಕೂ ಸಮಾ ಯಂತೂ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲೆ.. ನಿಂಗೆ ಈಗ ಸುಳ್ಳೇಯಾ ಹೇಳಿ ಹೇಳ್ತು.."
(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದು)
ಜೋತತ್ತೆ: " ಹೌದೇ ಸವಿತತ್ಗೆ.. ಯಾನೂವಾ ಹೌದು ಹೇಳಿ ನಂಬಿಕ್ಯಂಡು.. ಆ ಅಂಗಡಿಯವನ ಹತ್ರ ಹೋಗಿ.. ’ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಚರ್ಮದ ಸಾಮಾನು ಚೊಲೋ ಸಿಗ್ತದ್ಯ??’ ಹೇಳಿ ಕೇಳದ್ರೆ ಅಂವಾ ’ಇಲ್ಲ ಮೇಡಂ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೇ ಬೇರೆ ಕಡೆಯಿಂದಾ ತರಿಸ್ತೇವೆ’ ಹೇಳಿ ನ್ಯಗಾಡ್ತಾ.."
(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದು)
ಅಜ್ಜಿ(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ) : "ಅಲ್ದೆ ಜೋತಿ.. ಅಲ್ಲೂವಾ ಕನ್ನಡಾನೇ ಮಾತಾಡ್ತ್ವನೇ??"
(ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಬಿದ್ದು ಬಿದ್ದು ನ್ಯಗಡ್ದ)
ಆಯಿ : "ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಶಣಾ.. ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಆಫೀಸ್ ನಲ್ಲೇ ಯಾರನ್ನಾದ್ರೂ ನೋಡಕ್ಯಂಜ್ಯನೇ??"
ನಾನು: "ಆಯಿ.. ಯನ್ನ officeನಲ್ಲಿ ಇರವೆಲ್ಲಾ ತಮಿಳ್ರು, ತೆಲಗ್ರೇಯಾ.. ಯಾರನ್ನೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಂಜ್ನಿಲ್ಲೆ"
ಆಯಿ:"ಅಲಾ.. ಹಂಗೇನಾದ್ರೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಳದಿದ್ರೆ ನೋಡ್ಕ್ಯ.. ಯಂಗಕಿಗೇನು ಬ್ಯಾಜಾರಿಲ್ಲೆ"
ನಾನು: "ಆಯಿ.. ಅಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲೆ".
ಅಜ್ಜಿ(ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಅತ್ತೆ): "ನಿವೇದಿತಾ.. ಹಂಗೇಯಾ.. ಗೋತ್ರಾನೂ ನೋಡಿಕ್ಯಂಡು ನಿನಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದವ್ರನ್ನಾ ಹುಡ್ಕ್ಯಬುಡು.. ಗೊತ್ತಾತ??"
ನಾನು:" :) .. ಅಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲಿ ಗೋತ್ರಾ ಕೇಳಕ್ಯಂಡೇಯಾ.. Love ಮಾಡ್ತಿ.. ಯಾರದ್ರು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ರೆ.."