I have my fingers crossed!!!

ಹಿಂದಿನ ವರ್ಷ ಅಂದ್ರೆ Dec 31st 2008, ನಾನು ನನ್ನ friend ಹತ್ರ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದೆ..

"Hey.. wats your resolution for the new year??" ಅಂತಾ..

ಅವನು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದವಾಗಿ,

"Its 1024 x 768" ಅಂದಿದ್ದ.. ;-)

Well.. coming to the point..ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ಆಗಿಹೋಯ್ತು!!! ಭುವನೇಷ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ collegeನವರೆಲ್ಲ ಸೇರಿ ನಾವು new year celebrate ಮಾಡಿದ್ವಿ.. antakshari, rapid fire, dumb sherads ರಾತ್ರಿ ಯಿಂದ ಬೆಳಗಿನವರೆಗೂ ಆಟ, ನಗು, ಹರಟೆ!!! and then the days followed..they were some expected and then some unexcepted and some anticipated!!

Well.. I have kept my fingers crossed for 2010, as it has lots to decide for me!!!

Happy new Year!!!

What was I thinking?

Dear DreamBox,
Well.. Guess wat??? Today it’s a year I joined this company.. last year on 28th of November I had my 1st day at office.. my first day into corporate world.. my 1st step towards being independent, my new beginning.. a new day… and you know where I was at this time last year rite??? Yes!! I was in Bhubaneswar.. one of my favourite places.. My first day.. so far from parents, far from people who know the language I know, far from all the food I have been eating my life,.. far from my college friends.. Little afraid, little scared.. so much excited.. so many hopes, dreams , expectations..

Look at me now.. I feel so different. I feel so new.. I feel as if I completed reading the suspense chapter of some suspense novel.. I feel strange.. as if all curosity in my life is over.. I don’t even know if it’s a good sign or not..

No. . I have not lost all the curosity towards my future. I still have.. but its like I some how know where the story is going to take turns,ups and downs.. Its just that I don’t know how its going to happen.. I know the destination.. I know the path.. I just don’t know how my journey would be… you getting me right??

In office today we all congratulated each other.. some even made fun by telling that lets mourn for 2 mins in the memories of our lost souls.. he he he..we planned to have a small party kind of stuff sometime tomorrow(small one b’coz its month end.. and our bank balance is low.. L). I too laughed with them, had fun.. but now that I am writing this.. I feeling nostalgic.. nostalgic of the old days..

I remember my days in bhubhaneswar, the happy times, the tough times.. the lonely times.. everything seems to be so fresh for a second.. but when I concentrate on them.. I feel them fading away.. as if suddenly its fog every where and I m not able to see things as clearly as I saw them just a second before.. I have to ask my friends for the names of the places we visited.. the names of the people we lived with.. the names of the dishes, the restaurants, the streets.. is it a good sign?? I don’t know..
I see my self as if I am watching a movie of my own life.. Its fine to cry seeing myself cry rite?? Does that mean I still have the pain in me?? Doesn’t matter.. who cares.. rite??
So… wish me luck for my future.. I m trying to sound excited… Its my one year completion yaar… he he he(exciting enough????).. chalo then.. bye.. take care.. ya.. miss you.. byeee…..

ಮೌನದ ಕವಿತೆ

ಮೌನದ ಕವಿತೆ

ಸಾಲುಗಳ ತುಂಬಾ ನೀರವತೆ

ಶಬ್ದ ಶಬ್ದದಲ್ಲೂ ನಿಶ್ಶಬ್ದ

ಭಾವಗಳೇ ಇಲ್ಲ ಹೃದಯವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಸಂದಿಗ್ಧ

ಎತ್ತೆತ್ತಲಿಂದಲೋ ಹುಡುಕಿ ತಂದ ಸಾಲು..

ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ಕನಸ್ಸಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ನೆನಪಿಗೊಂದಷ್ಟು,

ತಂದ ಸಾಲಲ್ಲೇ ಪಾಲು..

ಅದೇಕೆ ಬರೆಯಬೇಕೋ ಏನೋ

ಕವಿಗೆ ಕವಿತೆಯನ್ನ...

ಹುಡುಕಿ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಮನದೊಳಗೆ,

ಅಂತರಾಳದೊಳಗೆ

ಕಂಡ ಕನಸುಗಳ ಗಂಟಲ್ಲಿ,

ನೆನಪುಳಿದ ನೆನಪುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ..

The sand I walked on, is back in my shoes… -2

“Kati.. I want to watch a movie.. shall we go for LCMD?” I asked Kati who was sitting on the front bench ,we were in Java lecture.
I usually sat with sweetoo and kati. We 3 sat on a bench but today vidya was alone.so kati had to shift to her bench.
“Niviiiiiiiiiii.. we have LLaaaabbbb internals today afternoon” She whispered.
“I know.. but I am in no mood to attend it” I said.
Sweetoo who was sitting next to me asked me to sit quite as sir was noticing us,but then who cares?? We continued..
“Well.. I am also not in mood..” Kati said.
“hey you have good marks in Lab IA..rite??” sweetoo asked me.
“Not exactly… I have scored 20 in last IA” I said.
“Hmm. We have 3rd IA also we can actually bunk the labs..” sweetoo said.
“Are you people crazy??” Kati asked turning back to us.
Sir caught us. He asked us to keep quite. We decided we ll speak after the class. We were waiting for the class to end. I was atleast so restless when there were some 5-10 minutes for the class to get over.

“Ok.. so we going for the movie rite???” I asked after the class.
“well.. ok then.. lets go..” Kati agreed.
“Good.. but which one??” Sweetoo wanted to know the movie.
“Hmmm… how abt LCMD??” I said.
“LCMD??? Laga chunari mein daag??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You mad???? Its bbbbaaaaadddd movie” Sweetoo said.
“arey no.. its not all that bad.. you know that CS frnd of mine..” I had not even completed the sentence but sweetoo interrupted
“Who???? That Pandu?? Did he tell you that the movie is good?? If so then we NOT going for that movie okay.. I have told you now only..”
“Arrey yaar.. he said that the movie is watchable..” I said.
“Noways.. I am not going to trust him ok..” Sweetoo said.
“Please re Sweetoo… lets go no…. “ I tried to make her say yes..
“Wel.. theres no other movie released.. so we ll have to go to that movie only” Kati said.
“If that movie happens to be a torture.. I wont leave you see nivi..” Sweetoo said with anger.
“Ok baba.. shall we go?? Are we not getting late for the movie??” I asked.
“haan.. but ruko… we gotta call paggu n civil madam also no…” Sweetoo said.
“ya.. but they are in class.. “ Kati said.
We 3 girls were in IS dept and other 2 in different depts. So our break timings were different. I said to kati n sweetoo,
“I ll get paggu out of the class.. u get Shrado(civil madam)..”
“But how??” Kati asked…
“hmm.. say some lie ya.. ” I said and I went towords paggu’s dept.
Her class door was closed, I took all the courage and went to knock, I told to myself “1, 2, 3.. go..” uff!!! I couldn’t.. I came back..
I now collected all my courage+my frnz courage and counted..”1, 2.. 3.. Go!!!!”
I had knocked. Their sir opened the door, I made my face as if it was some serious matter.. I asked (with respect) “Excuse me sir, can you send Pragati for a minute??”
He asked, “what happened??”
“Sir.. for personal reasons..” I said and laughed to myself. I looked at paggu.. she looked so tensed when I said ‘personal reasons’ he he he..
He sent paggu out,
She asked me, “Nivi.. what happened?? What personal reason??” she really was tensed, she was getting all bad thoughts in her mind
“Arrey.. don’t worry.. nothing serious.. we were planning to go for Laga Chunari mein daag.. coming??” I replied..
“Whattttttttttt????????????? Pagal hai kya???????? U have ur lab i.a rite??” she thought I was crazy(ofcourse I was!!!!)
“Don’t worry about our IA.. Sweetoo and Kati are also coming, chal take ur bag n leave the class…” I hurried as we had very less time and we had to buy tickets also.
“Arrey my class is going on.. and that too Laga Chunari mein daag movie??” She was confused.
“Ya.. LCMD.. Come.. fast.. tell me seriously..are you interested in what he is teaching??? We are bunking our IA only.. for u its just a class.. chaloooooo” I said..
“Ok.. I am coming.. but what shall I tell sir??” she asked..
“Hmmmm.. Personal Reasons!!!!!!!” we both laughed!!!
She went and took her bag and came.. she said she had to leave urgently and the reason she gave was ‘Personal Reasons’(he he he rofl)
Kati, Sweetoo and Shrado(Civil Madam) were already in the car.
Me n Paggu joined and the car flew…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t ask me how was the movie as it was one of the Baaadddddddddd movies I had seen.. but off course with friends it was one of my very good days..
And next day we had to stand infront of HOD for half n hour and get the ‘maha-prasad’(scoldings) for bunking the IA.. hmmmm…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To my Friends,
Well… you all know how I behave when I feel very senti.. so imagine me like that.. with that senti face and telling you all.. Miss you all.. L
I really do…
Take care
Bye.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S : The Sand I walked on... is back in my shoes-1

It was the fear of acceptance that was bothering her...

"Pehli baar mohobat ki hai..
Aakhari baar mohobat ki hai….
Thode ssss bheege bheege se,thode num hai hum..
Kal se sss soye-woye bhi toh kum hai hum sss”

Anu’s caller tune was singing and I was wondering wat was wrong with this girl as she wud pick up the call in max 5 rings..
She picked up the call “Hello..” She said.
“Hi.. wat took u so long to pick up the call???? Anyways.. u coming for shopping rite??? Me and sidd will meet u near central” I said.
“No nivi.. Me not coming.. u ppl go n come..” she said.. she sounded a little depressed.
“what happened anu?? U sound not-so-well.. any pblm??” I asked.
Anu I mean Ananya, is my friend. We were friends from our college days n now we work together.. she is a little suttle, silent, kind-of-introvert, you know one of those ‘sweet girls’, and ‘emotional/ senti’ type of girls.. She usually doesn’t take things seriously.. but if she takes, she’ll hurt herself mentally a lot.. she wud think over it again n again n get depressed n wud go to a ‘don’t-speak to-me-I-am-in-no-mood’ kind of phase.. now I think she was in such a phase..
I continued, ”Anu.. U there??? Wat happened?? Tell me..”
It was silent for some moments,then she spoke, “Nivi, can u come to my room??”
Well I cud feel the sensitivity of the issue she was going thru.. I said,”ya.. will be there in another half n hour.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Tell me anu.. wat happened??” I asked her.I was in her room. She looked very pale..as if she had not slept for few nights.. she looked exhausted n tired.. as if someone has sucked every drop of blood from her body.
“Well I dono how to start.. I know listening to it you ll think I am a physco, n in am crazy n I live in a fantasy world n all that.. ” she wanted to say something more.. I held her hands, looked into her eyes n said.. “tell me. Wat happened??”
“Nivi,I think I am falling for someone..” She said.
Well that was a kind of happy news for her.. offcourse not for me as I didn’t believe that something called as “LOVE” practically exists..but she was feeling lonely a lot these days.. she was in need of a company.. she wanted someone to love..
“Wow!!!!!! That’s nice… but wats the issue??? Y so sad??????” I asked.
“Well the pblm is I dono if he also likes me or not” She said.
Ahhaa!!! Girls.. They will never ever change I thought to myself.
“Hmmm.. right.. so u r depressed huh??? Girl.. when will u wake up??? Why don’t u go n ask him directly???” I said..
“Nivi.. its not that easy..” She said.
“I know I know.. Its not easy.. but its easier than mourning like this..” I said.“Nivi.. I am scared!!!” She said.
“Scared of wat?? Scared of being rejected??? Girl.. Atleast you ll know that he doesn’t love u.. atleast u r sure of ooonneeee thingggg” I said.
“Nivi.. I am not scared of rejection, It’s the fear of acceptance that’s bothering me..” she said.
Wow!!! That was something new.I had heard of ‘fear of rejection”, “fear of separation”, “fear of loosing loved ones” but this concept of “fear of acceptance” was really new to me.. I asked her..
“Anu.. wats that?? Tell me about that guy”
“He is a cousin of my frn Akshata,We met in her brothers wedding and now we know each other for almost 4 to 4 n a half years. He found me on Orkut and then we became friends and gradually we started calling each other. he wud call almost everyday.. we wud discuss books, movies, life, philosophy n everything under the sun. we hardly chatted as he used to not like chatting.. he preferred to ‘listen’ to me.. we had not seen each other for some 2 years.. and then one evening of October he gave me a surprise by coming down to the town.. we roamed, had dinner. But that time I didn’t not have any kind of feelings for him..” she was telling me her history..
I asked,”did he ever give a hint that he loves u or likes u??”
She said “Nivi.. I don’t remember.. all I remember is the discussions we had abt life,friendship, we wud also discuss abt love.. but love in general.. nothing related to him or me….. but I wud always wait for his call.. I liked to speak to him.. I liked his way of analyzing things,I adopted few too..” she continued..
I interrupted ,”Anu.. wat kind of a guy is he?? … is he of ur type??”
She looked at me and said..”That’s the pblm nivi.. He is not of my type.. he is totally different…”
I was confused.. how cud one fall for someone of not of your type.. specially someone totally different… I asked her the same thing.. she said,
“Nivi.. even I have thot of it a lot.. how can I fall in love with a guy who is so different from me.. but nivi.. I feel so insecure when he says he is with a girl who is a friend of his, every time he says he met one of his old frn(girl again), every time he writes abt someone or something abt love n all in his blog… I feel insecure, I feel left-out, denied.. I even thot that its just a feeling that u know.. comes n leaves.. buts its been a long time I am in this.. I don’t want to build up a dream around him just to realize he doesn’t like me…” she was silent for sometime… then she continued.. “Nivi.. The worst part is I am scared of he accepting me..” she stopped again.. She was now starring at the ground.A drop of tear just fell down.. she didn’t even make efforts to hide them.. she just let them flow..
I was sitting there not knowing what to say... I asked..
“Anu… U said he is different from you.. how is he different??? wats so different abt him?? I know usually guys are not as emotional as girls are, atleast not as much as you are.. They don’t live in the fantasy world as U do..” I wanted to say something but she cut it and said..
“Nivi,If were the one to live in the fantasy world I would have been scared of rejection instead of being accepted..” she gave me that ‘I-don’t-live-in –the-dreamworld??’ kind of look.
Well ya.. that was true.. she was practical enough to think about the matter.. but I didn’t know how was he different.. I said..
“Sorry!!! Hmmm.. Anu I know that U don’t live in that dreamworld.. but u imagine that kind of world.. and you are a kind of girl who knows the difference between reality and dreams.. So Anu.. wats the pblm?? If he is different from you U can adjust rite?? After all compromise is just another name of Life..”
“Nivi, well.. How do I tell you wat kind of a person he is…. Hmmm….. ok I ll tell you an incident.. Once I was really sad for something.. I was not able to express anything.. and I was depressed.. I called him and said that.. normally say If you call up Sidd and say that u are feeling low wat wud his reply be??” she asked me.
I said,”well he wud ask me wats wrong.. and “ I wanted to say something more but she inturrupted.. She said.. “right??? If not like girls console sidd wud atleast ask wats wrong?? Isn’t it??” She asked again..
I nodded agreeing to wat she said as guys usually take such things easily and max they cud do is to ask wat happened and then try to convince to it smoothly… they wud never try to console as girls do by going deep into the matter n stuff..
She said again..”But you know this guy said it directly that I was responsible for my own moods and its swings.... He could not help me it was upto me to come out of it or not.. If I really wanted to be out of that blue I wud come out myself. If I am seeking for some sympathy from him then he was sorry and he could not give sympathy for me as he felt it was totally my choice to be in that depression…!!!!” she sighed.
Wow!!!!!!!!!! That was something!!!!!!!!!!He was right.. but that was not that right way to tell it..specially to girls like Anu..I thot to myself..
“Anu.. “ I wanted to tell her something but she continued..
“Nivi. Its not that he is not emotional.. he is.. but he is not of those who wud compromise things and do something just to please you.... and trust me if we both are made to live together.. I will be the one to compromise most of the times and guess wat.?? I am OK with it... But I am confused..Nivi.. when I am with him I feel so good… I think that may be.. may be we can live together and live happily.. but everytime I speak to him on a call I realize the difference… what shall I do..I am confused.. I don’t want to live with this feeling.. I tried a lot to over come nivi.. a lot.. but its just not possible.. I get possessive abt him.. Its easy to get rejected.. but I dono wat if he agrees n wat next and still somewhere I have a hope that he will know what I am going through.... will I be able make a good partner to him?? Will I be able to live happily with all compromises?? Will I be able to live with the person who is not of my type?? Who is rude at times.. and not the one who keeps patting on my back..???” Now she was making efforts to control her tears.. I now understood wat she meant by ‘the fear of acceptance’..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dono wat to tell her.. I have no answer to her question.. But I got a wrenching feeling inside my heart looking at her.. she was really in pain.. from both the sides it was pain for her.. even if he rejected or if he accepted.. She really had fallen for a different guy..
I didn’t know wat to say.. I was silent.. I just held her hand.. pressed it to assure that everything will be alright… but… I dono how things were gonna sort out for her.. I wished he could read her mind and understand her dilemma.. or just he would say he loved her to and he wud understand her and value her…
Hmmm….Now.. I realized why they say girls dream a lot…..

From:MeTo:USubject: Hi..

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Book Center

Hi Sidd.
U had asked abt a book center.. Hmm.. No there are no book centers here near my office nor near my PG.. but u have swapna book house in indiranagar, domloor. btw v meeting for dinner today rite??


From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject:Re: Re:Book Center

Well Niv,
I am sorry. I am not coming today.
Priya had called and she expects me to have dinner with her and
I cant deny. U know.. She is soooo... well.. she is hot!!!!!
Anyway Niv on this occasion of FRIENDSHIP DAY I want to say you thanks for being my Friend.
Thank you. thanks a lot.I am proud to be your Friend
Take care all the time.
Keen to meet you this weekend.
bye.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Huh!!!!!!!

Sidd..
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How professional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop sending such PROFESSIONAL,POLITICAL and DIPLOMATIC mails, that r full of formalities................
Are you serious u gonna miss dinner with me.. Ur Best frn?? on friendship day??? Just for that wack-wack-wack girl?? I dont beleive this.. Go ahead.. HAVE A NICE DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I ll not forgive you for this one.. believe me on this..)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Niv....

haha ..................
hahahahahaha..............................
i knew you would reply like this..........................
hmmmm.........anyway i mean it niv.
mattenu hengatu ninne oota?(Kannada:How was your dinner yesterday night??)
wht was the special for the dinner?
any special news?
yappa.. yest we finished dinner around 10.30 and when i reached room it was around 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject:Re:Niv....

wat hahahahaha.................
anyways.. yest even i reached my PG @ 11 only.. had a nice time at my
brothers place. Attige had cooked very nice food.. n gulaab jamoon.. my
favourite,I must have gulped some 15-16.. it was nice.. one of my brothers relative was there.. he is doing his CA final(or wat ever they call it) He is 2005 B.Com pass out.. chatted wit him.. well I guess I can take a chance :-P (but he is just 1 year elder to me ) but I dont think he is of my type.. he seemed to be one of those quite a descent and VERY GOOD guys.. and U know how chattar-pattar n talkative I am..and more over I dont think he was impressed by me.. But anyways we exchanged the nos..
Lets see if he communicates (Though I think he ll not!!!! And Noways I am gonna start).. So that was special for yest.. wat abt ur dinner with that wack-wack-wack girl????????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.. Niv..
thats good.keep one thing in mind.
boys always pretend to be descent when they meet girls for the first time.
so you cant think him as " not of your type ".
anyway good luck.
But shall i tell you something serious niv?
love should happen naturally. dont try for it. let it go.
You will surely get some one in your life.............
Well ..........about my dinner with Priya(She is not wack-wack-wack-girl) was soooo.. uhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! She was looking.. wow!!!!!!!!!!
Hey niv yest that girl had called me again.............................

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re:Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhu Uhuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody is in demand!!!!!!!!! naa na na naa na naa na na naa
na............. he he he... wat did she say?? btw u know the theory of demand??(that guy yest told me..actually enlightened me abt
this... he is from commerce background U c....) Theory of Demend says..
"When the demand increases,price decreases (or increases i am
confused!!!!)"
So u are in demand that means ur price is decreasing........ I am not in
demand which means I am very much valuable.... ha ha ha.. anyways wat did she say?? did she say.."siddharth!!! iss janam mein main tumhaari
girlfriend/patni/jeevan saathi nahi ban saki.. issi liye iss janam mein
main tumhaari dost banjaati huun.. agle janam mein mein phir se try
karoongi???" he he he rotl......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Theory of demand

hmmm
You wanna know the actual theory of demand.
I am trained in suppy chain management for one and half months in London..
See when demand increases if you supply to the rate of demand then only
price decreases.But if you supply at your own pace or if you dont supply your demand still increases and you will be under the focus light.
Understood ....................and hope you can apply to our
case........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well she said she is comfortable in sharing the things with me and she
likes my approach.and she wants to continue sharing the things with me as a FRIEND.
I said i need some time to think.
Lets see how the story proceeds...................
By the way whats his name?????????????

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Theory of demand

Well.. I didnt get a word u said abt that theory.. anyways.. Its ok to be
friend.. but u never know.. girls I tell u.. she may still be hoping that
some day u ll understand her feelings n all that stuff.. So If you say
that u can be friends and u dont want to end up liking that girl.. then
see to it that u r JUST FRIENDS.. but if u r open to the option of liking
her sometime in ur life.. then let her be ur frn n share things wit u..
and abt me.. I dont know his name.. probably its something I know.. but trust me sidd I m not interested, i m just kidding abt this.. Just u know.. trying to.. well...leav it.
But that guy was cute.. his name was something like vinod?? Vivek?? or something like that... He did open up a bit.. he was chatting too.. I was totally myself.. all naughty, chattar pattar.. u know.. Just me..
He is gonna be here in blore for quite a while.. but till now.. he didnt
msg or anything like that.. (not that I am expecting!!!)

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Hey buddy...

Hey Niv..
Y so serious suddenly??? wats wrong?? I am not gonna get into any relationship now..and u know that.. anyways.. Thanks for that “MUFT KA GYAN” Btw.. have a news for u..
Swati Rai had called me day b4 yest.
She talked so much that she never talked so much with me in the past,
dont know everything seeming so much funny....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Hey buddy...

Wellllllllllllllll.........................
Somebody Is really In demand.... Uhu Uhu!!!! someone wants to share things wit u, somebody else speaks to u as if she had never spoken before.. aha............ wats th matter buddy????

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Beard shaved!!!!

hmmmmmmm...................
ha ha ..................
some time every thing around seems to be so funny.
anyway trust me..i wont do anything like you ( Such as making somebody shave his beard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................)
i am trying to set other priorities in my life and i wanna get involved in
those.

From:Niveditha
To:Siddharth
Subject: Re: Beard shaved!!!!

Well............ I didnt ASK/FORCE him to shave it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U get
That??? anyways all the best to u...set ur priorities n all that stuff...
now.. will u let me work???? I got a target to meet....
HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People these days I say......

From:Siddharth
To:Niveditha
Subject: Ok.....

hmmmmmmmm
madu madu
all the best for your cut - copy -paste ...........................
hmmm......carry on niv...
will c u on week-end(Hope u dont get a date with Mr.Vinod-Vivek-or whatever-his-name-is till then so that I dont have to spend my week end alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Bye...

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ-2..

Hey Dreamboy ,

ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ನಲಾ.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದದ ಹಸಿರು.. ಒಂದ್ ಥರಾ ಚಳಿ.. ಹನಿ ಹನಿಸೊ ಎಲೆ, ದಾಸವಾಳ, ಬ್ರಹ್ಮ ಕಮಲ.. ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಆಗೋ ಕಾಡು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಒದ್ದೆ ಒದ್ದೆ ನೆಲ.. ಕಪ್ಪು ಆಕಾಶ.. well.. ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಇಷ್ಟ ಕಣೋ.. ತುಂಬಾ!!! ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಬಾವಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ನೀರು ತುಂಬಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ನಾನು ಬಾವಿಯಿಂದಾ ನೀರು ತರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಜಾರಿ ಬಿದ್ದು.. ಬೇಡ ಅವಾಂತರ.. ಆದ್ರೂ ನಂಗೆ ಮಳೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಇಷ್ಟ.

ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್!!! ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಚಂದ?? ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ನೀನು!! ೪ ಹನಿ ಬಿದ್ರೂ ನಿನಗೆ ಜೋರು ಮಳೆ ಬಿದ್ದಂಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ನಿಂಗೆ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ಊರಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು.. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ಕಾಲುದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸಬೇಕು, ಪಾಚಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿರೋ ಬ್ಯಾಣದ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಬೀಳಬೇಕು (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ), ಗದ್ದೆ ನೆಟ್ಟಿ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಆವಾಗ ನಿನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದು ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಿಸಿ, ಒಂದು ಹಾಳೆ ಟೊಪ್ಪಿ ಹಾಕಿ, ಗದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡತೀನಿ.. ಪಿಚ ಪಿಚ ಅನ್ನೋ ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ಮಜ ಬರುತ್ತೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಮತ್ತೆ ಉಂಬಳ ಇರುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ.. (ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ) ಹೆದರ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ?? ಹೆದರಬೇಡಪ್ಪಾ.. ಹಾಗೆ ಸುಮ್ನೆ ತಮಾಷೆ ಮಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೆ..

ಆದ್ರೂ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚಂದಾ ಅಲ್ವೇನೋ?? ಬೆಳ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಎದ್ದ ಕೂಡಲೆ ಬಚ್ಚಲು ಮನೆಯ ಒಲೆಯ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಕಾಯಿಸೋದು,.. btw..you know wat?? ನಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲಲ್ಲಿ ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ಒಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಇರುತ್ತೆ.. ಹಂಡ್ಯಾದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಸಿ ಬಿಸಿ ನೀರು.. wow!!its so nice..!!! ಮತ್ತೆ ಗೇರು-ಪೀಕ, ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಬ್ಯಾಳೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟು ತಿನ್ನೋದು.. ಕರಕ್ಲಿ, ಕಟ್ಣೆ, ಚಕ್ಕೆ ಪೊಳದ್ಯಾ..ಊಮ್ಮ್... ನನ್ನ ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಬರ್ತಾ ಇದೆ.. ಒಹ್!! ನಿನಗೆ ಕರಕ್ಲಿ- ಕಟ್ಣೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಅಲ್ವಾ.. ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು ನಾನೇ ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಮಾಡಿ ತಿನ್ನಿಸ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಯ್ತಾ??

Btw ನಿಂಗೆ ಚೊರಟೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ?? ಅದಕ್ಕೆ englishನಲ್ಲಿ ಏನಂತಾರೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ಊಮ್ಮ್.. ನಂಗೆ ಈಗ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಹಸ್ರಪದಿ ಅಂತಾ ಕೂಡಾ ಹೇಳತಾರೆ ನೋಡು.. ಅದನ್ನ ಮುಟ್ಟಿದ್ರೆ ಅದು ಚಕ್ಲಿ ಥರಾ ಮುದುರಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ..ಅದು.. ಎಷ್ಟು ಇದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಹತ್ರಾ??ನಾನಂತು ಅದರ ಜೊತೆ ಆಡಿ-ಆಡಿ ಇಟ್ಟೆ ಈ ಸಲ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ..

ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಮಲೆನಾಡಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗೆ ಕಂಬಳಿ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗಿದ್ರೆ..ಆಹ್!! ಎನು ಸುಖ!! btw ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಛಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಾನು ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ ಎಷ್ಟು ಛಳಿ ಇತ್ತು ಅಂದ್ರೆ.. ನಾನು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಮಲಗೋವಾಗ.. 2 ಕಂಬಳಿ,1 ದುಪಡಿ, 1 ಹೊದಿಕೆ, ಮೇಲ್ಗಡೆಯಿಂದಾ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಒಂದು ಹಳೇ ಸೀರೆ ಹೊದಕೋಂಡು ಮಲಗತಿದ್ದೆ.. ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಾಗ್ತಿತ್ತು.." ಅಷ್ಟೇನಾ ??"ಅಂತಾ ಟೀಕೆ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡಾ ನೀನು.. ಹೇಳ್ದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ ನಾನು ನಿಂಗೆ.. ನನಗೆ ಚಳಿ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾ..

ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡು.. ಮತ್ತೇನು?? ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಳೆಗಾಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡ್ತೀರಾ?? ಎನೇನು special ಅಡಿಗೆ ಇರುತ್ತೆ?? ಹೇಳೋ.. plz.. ಅದೇನು ಮುಖ ಊದಿಸಿ ಕೊಂಡು ಕೂತಿದೀಯಾ?? ಒಹ್!! ಬಯಲು ಸೀಮೆ ಮಂಡು ಅಂತಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಕರೆದೆ ಅಂತಾನಾ?? ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್ಮ್!!!! ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರನ್ನಾ ಬಯಲುಸೀಮೆಯವರು ಅಂತಾ ಕರಿಯದೆ ಮತ್ತೇನು ಕರೀಲಿ?? ಸರಿಯಪ್ಪಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ’ಮಂಡು’ ಅನ್ನಲ್ಲಾ.. Happy??

ಸರಿ.. ಈಗ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಹೇಳು.. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಮಳೆಗಾಲದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ.. ಕಾಯ್ತಾ ಇದೀನಿ..

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ??

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ

ಕತ್ತಲಲಿ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದು?

ನೂರು ಮಾತಲ್ಲೂ.. ಮೌನವನ್ನೇ ನುಡಿಸಿದ್ದು?

ಎದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಅಡಗಿದ್ದು,

ನೆನಪ ನೆಪ ಮಾಡಿ ಬಂದೆ.. ಅಲ್ಲವೆ?

ಗಂಟಲ ನರ ಬಿಗಿಯಿತು,

ಕಣ್ಣಂಚಲಿ ಕಂಬನಿ ಹನಿಯಿತು,

ಕ್ಷಣ ಕ್ಷಣವೂ ದಿನ ದಿನವೂ

ದೂರ ಮಾಡಿದಷ್ಟೂ..

ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬರುವೆಯಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬರಡಾದೆ ನಾನು,

ಬರಬೇಡ..

ಯಾವ ನೆಪವನೂ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ..

ವಸಂತನಪ್ಪುವ ಮನಸಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿನ್ನೋಡನೀಜಿ ದಡ ಸೇರಲಾರೆ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೋ ಬಂದು, ಸವರಿ ನೆಡೆವ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೋ ಹರಿದು,ಕೊರೆದು ದಡವ, ಭೋರ್ಗರೆವ ಕಡಲಂತೆ,

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಆದಿ ನಿನಗೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಂತ್ಯ??

ಇರುವಷ್ಟೂ ಹೊತ್ತು..

ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲ ನವೆಗೊಳಿಸಿ, ಹದ ಹದವಾಗಿ ಸುಟ್ಟು ನುಂಗುವುದು

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

ಪೂರ್ವದಿಂದ ಪಡುವಣಕೆ ಸಾಗುವ ರವಿ

ಕತ್ತಲ ನೀಗಿ ಬೆಳಕ ಬೀರುವನೋ,

ಬೆಳಕ ನೆಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಕತ್ತಲ ತರುವನೋ...

ತಿಳಿದವರಾರು??

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪೂ ಅಷ್ಟೆ!!!

ಚಿತ್ತದಿಂದ ಹೋರಬಂದು ನೋಯಿಸುವುದೋ..

ನೋಯಿಸಲೆಂದೇ ಹೊರಬರುವುದೋ..

ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ!!!

ದಟ್ಟ ಕಾಡಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಹಗಲು??

ಕಡಲ ಗರ್ಭಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲಿಯದು ಬೆಳಕು?

ರವಿಯೂ ಕಾಣದಾದ..

ನಲಿವು,ಗೆಲುವು ಬರಿಯ ಮರೀಚಿಕೆ..

ನಾನು-ನೀನು ವಿಧಿಯ ಚಿತ್ರದಲಿ ಮುಗಿದು ಹೋದ ಸಂಚಿಕೆ..

ತಿಳಿದೂ ಕಾಲವ ಹಿಂದಕೆಳೆವ ಬಯಕೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ?

ಬಣಗುಡುವ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ದನಿಮೂಡಿಸುವಾಸೆ

ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೆ??

ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಇದೆ.. ಕಾಡತಾ ಇದೆ ಅನ್ನೋದಕ್ಕಿಂತಾ ತುಂಬಾ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆ.

"ಕ್ರಿಷ್ಣ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ? "

I agree.. that ಅವನಿಗೆ ಮಥುರೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತು n all that.. ಆದ್ರೂ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಅವನು ಆಮೇಲಾದ್ರೂ ಬಂದು ಮದುವೆ ಆಗಬಹುದಿತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ವಾ?? ಮದುವೆ ಆಗದೆ ಅವಳನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ದು ಸರಿನಾ?? ರಾಧೆ ಅವನನ್ನ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿರಬಹುದು ಅಲ್ವಾ?? They give examples of their Love.. ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿದ್ಲು ಅವನನ್ನ..ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗಿರುತ್ತೆ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಅವನು ಬಿಟ್ಟುಹೋದಾಗ... ಅಲ್ವಾ??

ಯಾಕೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಮಾಡಿದ ಅವನು?? 16000 ಹೆಂಗಸರನ್ನ ಮದುವೆಯಾದ.. just ಅವರಿಗೆ ಸಮಾಜದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಥಾನ ಕೊಡಸೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅವನನ್ನ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ರಾಧೆಯನ್ನ ಯಾಕೆ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿಲ್ಲ??

ಯಾಕೆ??

The reverie..

“Are you for real??” She asked him.

“Yess.... I am for real.. but why did you ask??” He asked her looking into her eyes, he had loved them always.. he loved the way they looked at him, questioned him, admired him, cared for him, at times spoke soooo much… and at sometimes the way they were so silent.. the way there was some mystery hidden in them, the way they blinked, shared feelings.. well he adored them.. they were beautiful..brown.. honey brown in color. He could see his own reflection in them .. everytime.. they were beautiful.. just the way she was!!

“Because.. Because you are so.. soo… so perfect!!” she thought of the days they spent together. Days that became months, and months.. years.. they were together, loving each other more and more every passing day. But now, they had to leave. she some how felt that those days were not true, all the happy times were just her dreams.. Because they were just like her dreams..beautiful!! she would many times fear to wake up and find that she is alone.. But all the wonderful days were true, the happy times were true.


He held her in his arms, close to his heart and said,”No.. I am not perfect.. not atleast without you..”
She wanted the time to stop,she wanted to be in his arms, she wanted him to speak to her, to listen, to be silent, to keep looking at her,she wanted him for ever and ever.


She felt secured in his arms.She noticed it for the first time, he was very tall to her… she could hardly reach his shoulders. they looked beautiful together.

He whispered,”Hey, honey.. Don’t worry.. I ll be there.. You ll never loose me..” He had understood her fears.She was lost in his perfume, She wanted to remember it for the rest of her life.She dropped a tear,it wet his chest and his heart.

“I am scared.. I have this feeling.. I feel as if this is going to be our last meeting.. I ll go crazy.. God!! What will I do without you??”She said and tightened her hug. She wanted to be locked in his arms like that forever..

He tightened his arms around her till he could not tighten more.He kissed her forehead.He held her close again.He had said everything she wanted to hear. She kissed his heart..she loved his aroma, she many times wanted to wear his skin, crawl into his veins and feel his soul.. she loved the feeling of his touch, the warmth of his when he held her hand, the pace of his breathing.. she loved him.

She was still in his arms, she asked “Will you remember me??”

He released her, gave her a smile, winked and said”Wanna bet??”

She narrowed her eyes and said,”That means you wanna forget me.. huh??”

He put his arms around her shoulder and said..” No.. I was kidding.. and in the first place.. we are going to be together for the rest of our lives.. we will have our own home, our children, grand children.. we will love each other more and more.. people will give examples of our love..”

She hugged him again,pulled him close.. very close..”But I am feeling.. I am getting this weird feeling.. I don’t want to live without you..”She kissed him,she kissed him again.. she wanted to kiss him till the end. She wanted to remember that day,she wanted to remember the color of his shirt, color of his skin,the color of the wall, the wood of the table, the design of the window screen,the music,the flowers,the gifts,the kisses, the hugs, tears, smiles,the sigh in his breathe,the warmth of his presence.. everything.. every damn thing..

And then.. It was time.. time to leave..He had to leave..
He left. He didn’t take his eyes off her.He wanted to fill all his life with her.. he wanted her to know that he loved her,he cared for her,he wanted her to complete him and he wanted to complete her,he wanted her to know that he ll be there for her everytime she needed,he would stand by her, by her dreams, by her ambitions.. He loved her, he would love her forever.

He said,”I love you.. I ll love you forever”
She hugged him..this time with all her strength and as though they would never meet again.. she said,”Don’t forget me..”
He left.

She stood there,She wanted sometime to realize that he was gone.. she wanted to feel his aroma, his touch.. She felt empty,She felt blank,She felt void,scared,alone.. She stood there looking all over the walls where his shadow once fell looking down the floor where he had walked.. she wanted to block the wind in the room,she wanted to keep his breathe with her forever..
She stood there looking at him leave..

“tere bina jiya jaaye na..
tere bina jiya jaaye na
bin tere tere bin saajana
saans mein saans aaye na
tere bina…”

ನಾನು ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ...

"ನಿಮ್ಮಿ.. ಅಲ್ ನೋಡು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಯ... ಯಂತಾ ತಂಜಾ ಹೇಳಿ.." ಜಗಲಿಯಿಂದಾನೇ ಅಮ್ಮ ನನ್ನ ಕರೆದ್ರು.
ಸಂಜೆ ಸುಮಾರು 7-7:30 ಆಗಿರಬಹುದು.ನಾನು ಒಳಗೆ ಅನ್ನಕ್ಕಿಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೆ. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ತೋಟದಿಂದಾ ಬರೋ ಹೋತ್ತು. ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ತೊಟಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದಾಗ್ಲೂ ಏನಾದ್ರೂ ತರತಾರೆ. ಮುಳ್ಳೇ ಹಣ್ನ್ seasonನಲ್ಲಿ ಮುಳ್ಳೇ ಹಣ್ಣು, ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಕರ್ಕ್ಲಿ ಸೊಪ್ಪು, ಕಟ್ಣೇ ಸೊಪ್ಪು, ಬಾಳೇ ಕಾಯಿ ದಿಂಡಿಗೆ, ಕಳಲೆ.. ಹೀಗೇ.. ಹಾಗಾಗೇ ನಾವು ಪೇಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ರೂ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ..
ಈ ಸಲಾನೂ ಏನಾದ್ರೂ ತಂದಿರಬಹುದು ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದ್ಕೊಂಡು ನಾನೂ," ಯಂತು ಅಮ್ಮಾ?? ತಡಿ ಬಂದಿsss" ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಅನ್ನಕ್ಕಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರಗೆ ಬಂದು ನೋಡಿದ್ರೆ ಒಂದು ದೊಡ್ದ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು. ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ದದಾಗಿತ್ತು ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು. ನಾನೂ ಅದರ size ನೋಡಿ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಪಟ್ಟೆ.. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ನಾವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಪದೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ನಗ್ತಾ ಇದ್ರು..
ನಾನಂದೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಹತ್ರ,"ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ, ಇಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಹಣ್ಣು ಯಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮ್ಮನೆ ತ್ವಾಟದಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗಿತ್ತ? ಯಾನಮ್ನಿ ದೊಡ್ಕಿದ್ದೋ ಮಾರಯಾ. ನೀ ಇದನ್ನ ಹೊತ್ಗ-ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ಸಾಕು ನೋಡು" ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ," ಹೌದೆ.. ನಮ್ಮನೆ ತ್ವಾಟದ್ದೇಯಾ.. ಇಷ್ಟ ಸಲ ಹಣ್ಣಾದ್ರೂವಾ ಮಂಗಂದಿಕ್ಕ ಹಾಳ ಮಾಡ್ಬುಡತಿದ್ವೆ ಮಾರಾಯ್ತಿ.. ನಿಂಗ ಮಕ್ಕ ಬಂದಾಗ ತಿಂಬಲಾಗ್ತು ಹೇಳಿ ಈ ಸಲ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಮಿಳ್ಳೇ ಆದಗ್ಲೇಯಾ ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿಟ್ಟಿದಿದ್ದಿ.. ಆದ್ರೂವಾ ಸುಮಾರು ಹಾಳ ಮಾಡದ ಮಂಗಂದಿಕ್ಕ.. ಒಂದೆರಡೇನೋವಾ ಹಂಗೆ ಇತ್ತು.. ಇವತ್ತು ಗಣಪತಿ ಹತ್ರ ಮರ ಹತ್ಸಿ ಕೊಯ್ಷಕ್ಯ ಬಂಜಿ.. ಹೊಡಿರಿ.. ಇವತ್ತು ಊಟವೇ ಬ್ಯಾಡ.." ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಉತ್ಸಾಹ ನೋಡಿ ನಂಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಖುಷಿಯಾಯ್ತು.
ನಾನು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಗೆ ಹೇಳ್ದೆ, "ಆದ್ರೂವಾ ನೀನು ಇಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡದಾ ಹೊತ್ಗ ಬಂದಿದ್ದು ಸಾಕು. ಬಸ್ಸಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ್ದೇ ವಾಸನೆಯಾಗಿಕ್ಕು, ಯಲ್ಲವೂ ಯಷ್ಟ್ ಬೈಕ್ಯಡ್ವೇನ, ಅಲ್ದಾ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ. ಇದು ಬಕ್ಕೆ ಹಣ್ಣ, ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣ?"
"ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣೇಯಾ.. ಯನ್ನ ಅಜ್ಜ ಕಡಬು ಮಾಡಲೆ ಆಗ್ತು ಹೇಳಿ, ಯಾವ್ದೋ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಮತ್ಯಾವ್ದೋ ಮರದ್ದ ಕಸೆ ಮಾಡಿಸಿದಿದ್ದ.. ನೋಡಲಕ್ಕಡಾ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪೇ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಾ ಸ್ವಾರೆ ಇಲ್ಲೆ. ಸೋಯ್ ಸಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಯಷ್ಟ್ ಅರಾಮು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ.." ಹೀಗೇ ಮತ್ತೇನನ್ನೋ ಹೆಳುವವರಿದ್ರು, ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು,
"ವೋ.. ಯಾನೇನು ಕೈ ಮ್ಯಾಣ ಮಾಡ್ಕ್ಯಳಂವಲ್ಲಾ.. " ಅಂತಾ ಅಂದೆ.
ಆಗ ಅಮ್ಮ,"ಕೈ ಮ್ಯಾಣ ಮಾಡ್ಕ್ಯಳದಿದ್ರೆ ಹಣ್ನಿಲ್ಲೆ.. ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೆ ಕಡಿ ಮಾಡಿ ಕೊಡ್ತಿ, ಯಾರ್ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಬೇಕ ಅವ್ವ್ ಅವ್ವು ಯಣ್ಣೆ ಹಚ್ಕ್ಯಂಡು ಸೋಯ್ಸ್ಕ್ಯಮಲಡ್ಡಿಲ್ಲೆ.." ಅಂದ್ರು. ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲೇ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಕೈ ಕಾಲು ಮುಖ ತೊಳಕೊಂಡು ಬರೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದ್ರು. ಅಮ್ಮ ಮೆಟಗತ್ತಿ ಮಣೆ ತಗೊಂಡು ಆ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು ಬಗೆಯಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದ್ರು.
ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಒಂದು ದೊಡ್ದ ಪಾತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ತೆಂಗಿನ ಎಣ್ಣೆ, ಉಪ್ಪು, ಹುಳಿ, ಹಶಿ ಮೆಣಸಿನ ಖಾರ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ತಂದ್ರು. ಅಮ್ಮಾ ಇನ್ನೇನು ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ನನ್ನ ಬಗೀತಾ ಇದ್ರು ಅನ್ನೋವಾಗ್ಲೇ ನಾನು ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ attack ಮಾಡಿದ್ವಿ.. ಉಮ್ಮ್.. ಆ ಮೆತ್ತ ಮೆತ್ತ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಸ್ವಾಳೆ, ಉಪ್ಪು-ಖಾರ-ಹುಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದ್ದಿಕೊಂಡು ತಿನ್ನೋದು.. ಆಹ್!!! ವಾಹ್!! ಏನ್ ರುಚಿ... ನಮ್ಮ ಹತ್ರ ಪೂರ್ತಿ ಹಣ್ಣು ಖಾಲಿ ಮಾದೋಕಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆ, ಪ್ರೇಮಾ ಆಂಟಿ, ಸೌರಭ, ಮಾಮ ಎಲ್ಲರನ್ನೂ ಕರೆದ್ವಿ.. ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಸೇರಿ ಆ ಹಣ್ಣನ್ನ ತಿಂದು ಮುಗಿಸುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ.. ಅಬ್ಬಾ.. ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣು..
ಅಮ್ಮಾ ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರು, "ಯಾರೂ ಬೇಜ ವಗ್ಯಡಿ ಮತ್ತೆ.. ಪೊಳದ್ಯಾ ಮಾಡಲೆ ಬತ್ತು".
ನಾನು "ಅಮ್ಮಾ, ನಾಳೇನೇ ಮಾಡೆ ಅಮ್ಮಾ" ಅಂದೆ.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಮ್ಮ,"ನಾಳೆ ಮಾಡಲೆ ಬತ್ತಿಲ್ಯೆ.. ಆ ಬೀಜ ಎಲ್ಲ ಹನೀ ಒಣಗವು..ಕಡಿಗೆ ಮಾಡ್ರೆ ಚೊಲೋ ಆಗ್ತು, ಮೊದಲೇ ಒಣಗಿಸಿದ್ದು ಬೀಜ ಇದ್ದು.. ನಾಳೆ ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೆ ಅದರದ್ದು ಮಾಡನ" ಅಂದ್ರು.. well.. ನನ್ನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಆ ಹಲಸಿನ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ರುಚೀನೇ ತಿರಗ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು.. ಎಂಥಾ ಹಣ್ಣು.. ವಾಹ್!!

ಒಂದು wish, ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ, ಉತ್ತರ...

Happy Anniversary!! ಇವತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ-ಅಮ್ಮನವರ 24th anniversary,1 year away from Silver jubliee.. 24 ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಇವತ್ತಿನ ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ bachealor degree ಕಳಕೊಂಡ್ರು.. and ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮ Master degree ಪಡಕೊಂಡ್ರು :-) ...Wow!! 24.. 24 long years.. Long ಸರಿಯಾದ ಶಬ್ದ ಅಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ. ಯಾಕಂದ್ರೆ..they are still so young.. ಅವರ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಹೊಸ ಕನಸುಗಳು ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಚಿಗುರುತ್ತಾನೇ ಇವೆ. ಇಪ್ಪತ್ನಾಲ್ಕು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಕಂಡ ಕನಸುಗಳನ್ನ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೇ ನನಸಾಗಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ.. ಅವುಗಳು ನಿಜವಾದಾಗ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೇ ಖುಷಿಪಟ್ತಿದ್ದಾರೆ, ಯಾರಿಗಾದರು ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ ನೋವಾದರೆ ಮತ್ತೊಬ್ಬರು ಆ ನೋವನ್ನ ಹಂಚಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ.. ಸಿಟ್ಟು ನೆತ್ತಿ ಏರಿದಾಗ ಒಬ್ಬರನ್ನೊಬ್ಬರು ಸಹಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ, ಸಹಕರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದಾರೆ, well.. ನನ್ನ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳೋದಾದರೆ.. ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿಗೆ ಹಾಗಲಕಾಯಿ ಇಷ್ಟ ಅಂತಾ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅದರ ಅಡಿಗೆ ಮಾಡ್ತಾರೆ, ತಿಂತಾರೆ(ಅಮ್ಮಂಗೆ ಹಾಗಲಕಾಯಿ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಅಷ್ಟಕ್ಕಷ್ಟ್ಟೇ!!) and ಅಮ್ಮಂಗೆ ಬದನೆಕಾಯಿ ಇಷ್ಟ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ ಬದನೆಕಾಯಿ ತರೋದನ್ನೇ ಕಡ್ಮೆ ಮಾಡಿದಾರೆ..(ಹೆ ಹೆ ಹೆ!!! )so.. they have shared each other for 24 years.. Long enough to get addicted..

So.. now today when I sit here writing this post.. I get this thought in my mind..How Do you decide "This is The ONE FOR ME"?? ಅಂತಾ.. Then I debate with myself for and against 'LOVE MARRIAGE' and 'ARRANGED MARRIAGE' ..ಕಡೆಗೂ ಯಾವುದೇ conclusion ಅಂತಾ ಸಿಗಲ್ಲ.. But.. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ- ಅಮ್ಮನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ, ಅದೇನೋ ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಸಿಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಒಂದು ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು ಬರುತ್ತೆ.. ಒಂದು smile ತನ್-ತಾನೇ ಜಾರುತ್ತೆ.. That moment I agree.. I agree with people who say.. "MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN"!!!
Congratulations ಅಪ್ಪಾಜಿ- ಅಮ್ಮ.

ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡಿಗೆಗೆ,
ನೆರಳ ಜೊತೆ

ಕುರುಡು ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹಣತೆ

ಕನಸುಗಳೋ, ನೆನಪುಗಳೋ...

ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ ತಿಳಿಯದಷ್ಟು ಮಸುಕು

ಎತ್ತ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ

ಹರುಕು-ಮುರುಕು ಬದುಕು

ನೆನೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಕಂಬನಿಗೇನೂ ಬರವಿಲ್ಲ

ಹಿಡಿ-ಮುಷ್ಠಿಯಷ್ಟು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೆದುರು ನಿಂತರೂ ಬಿಂಬವಿಲ್ಲ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿದೆಯೋ ಏನೋ ಭರವಸೆ

ಆಸರೆಯಾಗಬೇಕಿದ್ದ ಕನಸಿಗೇ ನಿಶ್ಶಕ್ತಿ

ಗುನುಗುನಿಸಲೂ ಹಾಡಿಲ್ಲ..

ನಿರ್ಭಾವದ ವಿರಕ್ತಿ.

ಪ್ರಶ್ನಿಸಬೇಕೇನು??

ಉತ್ತರವೇ ಬೇಡ..

ಬೇಡಬೇಕೇನು??

ನಡೆಯುವುದು ನಡೆಯಲಿ..

ಉಳಿದರೆ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿಕೊಂಡರಾಯಿತು..

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ಲೆಕ್ಕ

ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೂ ಬಾಯಾರಿಕೆ

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಅದೆಂತದೋ ಕನವರಿಕೆ.

ಮಾತು ತೊದಲುವ ಮುನ್ನ

ಮೌನವಾದರೆ ಸಾಕು

ಉಳಿದದ್ದು ನಡೆದ ಗುರುತಿಗೆ

ಜೊತೆಯಾದ ನೆರಳ ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ.

ಗೆಳೆಯಾ...Cry me a river..please..

ಅಳಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ ನಾನು.. ನಿನ್ನ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ, ಮರೆಯಲಿಕ್ಕಾಗ್ತಾಇಲ್ಲದಿರೊದಕ್ಕೆ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.. ಒಟ್ಟು ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ದಿನಗಟ್ಟಲೆ,ವಾರಗಟ್ಟಲೆ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತು ಅಳಬೇಕು..
I remember somebody telling me.."you are sad because you have choosen to be." I dont want to be sad like this. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅತ್ತು ಮುಗಿಸಿಬಿಡಬೇಕು. ತುಂಬಾ ಅಳಬೇಕು.. ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಖುಷಿಯ ಋಣವೆಲ್ಲ ತೀರುವಷ್ಟು..
Anyways ನಾವು ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ಕ್ಷಣಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲಾ..ನಿನ್ನೆದಗೊರಾಗಿ ನಾನಿಟ್ಟ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರ ಬಿಸಿ ಇನ್ನೂ ಆರಿಲ್ಲ..ಆ ಊರಿನ ದಾರಿಗಳೂ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಮಳೆ, ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ಮೇಲಿನ ತಂಪು ಗಾಳಿ, ಆ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ಗಂಧ, ಆ ಆಟದ ಮೈದಾನದ ಕಟ್ಟೆ, long walkಗಳು, long rideಗಳು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವುದೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆಯೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ..

ನೀನು ನನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಂದ ಆ ಗುಲಾಬಿ ಗುಚ್ಛ, ನೂರಾರು ಹೂಗಳು.. ಹಮ್ಮ್.. ಆ ನವಿಲುಗರಿ,ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಪುಕ್ಕ, ಒಂದಷ್ಟು keychainಗಳು,bracelets,ear-rings.. ಅಷ್ಟೆ.. ಅವುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಒಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕಿ ಬಿಸಾಕೋದು ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕೆಲಸ ಅಲ್ಲ.. ನಿನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಆ ಹೂಗಳನ್ನ ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಇಟ್ಟ್ ಕೊಂಡಿದೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ.. ಒಂದು ಎಸಳೂ ಉದಿರಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲಾ.. ಬಿಸಾಕಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ..

ನಿನಗೆ ಅಂತಾ ನಾನು ಬರೆದ ಕವನಗಳು ತುಂಬಾ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಒಂದು dairy ಅಷ್ಟೇ!! ಅದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಸುಟ್ಟುಬಿಡೋವಾಗ ಜೀವ ಹೋಗುವಷ್ಟು ನೋವಾಗುತ್ತೇನೋ.. ಸುಟ್ಟು ಹಾಕ್ತೀನಿ..

ನನ್ನ cellನಲ್ಲಿರೋ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು photoಗಳು, ಹಾಡುಗಳು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇನೋ.. backgroundನಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಹಾಡನ್ನ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು, photosನ slideshow ಮಾಡಿ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡೋದು,ನಗೋದು,ಕಾಡೋದು.. ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲಾ??ಆ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ ನೀನೇ ಹಾಡ್ತಾ ಇದೀಯೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ.. enriqueನ "Somebody is me", Omkara-"Oo.. saathi re" ,Bryan Adams, Mltr-"Blue night" , Jab we met-"Tum se hi",Shaggy-"Angel"..ಆಹ್!! Its a never ending list.. ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ.. specially, ನೀನು ನನ್ನ propose ಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಹಾಡಿದ್ಯಲಾ.."Tu hi meri Shaba hai.." well..delete ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡತೀನಿ.

ನಿನಗಿಷ್ಟವಾದ ಚೂಡಿದಾರ್,ದುಪಟ್ಟಾ, bags,clips, tea mugs.. ಯಾರಿಗಾದ್ರೂ ಕೊಟ್ಟಬಿಡತೀನಿ..what am I saying??ಅಹ್!! ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಸಾಧ್ಯ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನೂ ಮಾಡೋದಿಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗಲ್ಲ.. ಆ ವಸ್ತುಗಳಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಾ ನೀನಿರೋದು.. ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ.. ನನ್ನನ್ನ ನಾನು ಏನು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಲಲಿ?????
ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ಆಕಾಶದ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ಹೇಳಿದ ಮಾತು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ.."hey!!ನೀನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ Friends ಅಲ್ವಾ?? Please ಇವುಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೇಳು, ನಿನ್ನ ನನ್ನ destinyಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೆಯೋದಕ್ಕೆ.. I am ready to beg them for you.. I love you ಕಣೆ.." ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ bikeಗೆ ಒರಗಿ ಕೂತು, ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಗಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ ಹಿಡಿದು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ.. ಹ್!! ನಕ್ಕು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನು.. ಈಗ??? ಈಗ ಏನು ಅಂತಾ ಮಾತಾಡಲಿ ಅವುಗಳ ಜೊತೆ?? ಈ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಯಾಕೆ ಉದುರಿ ಬೀಳೋದಿಲ್ಲಾ?? ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ನಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಹೀಗೆ ಆಟ ಆಡಿತ್ವೆ?? I hate them.. I hate them all.. all of them..

ಇವತ್ತು ಅತ್ತೇ ಅಳತೀನಿ ಅಂತಾ ಹಠ ಹಿಡಿದು, ನಿನ್ನ jacket ಅಪ್ಪಿಕೋಂಡು ಕೂಡತೀನಿ.. ನೋವು ಗಂಟಲ ತನಕ ಬರುತ್ತೆ... ಯಾಕೋ.. ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಬರೋದೆ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ನೆನಪಾಗಿ ಕಾಡೋ ಬದಲು ಕಣ್ಣೀರಾಗ ಬಾರದೇನೋ ನೀನು?? ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ಕಾಡತೀಯಾ?? ಬೇರೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಇಲ್ವಾ ನಿಂಗೆ?? I hate you.. I Dont like you.. You understand?? I hate you.. God!!! what am I saying... ಅಹ್!! ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಕಣೋ.. ಯಾಕೆ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ??
ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ನನಗೆ Bryan Adamsನ Please forgive me ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ..Do you want me to sing

"Please forgive me.. I know not what I do
Please forgive me.. I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me.. This pain I'm going through..
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do..
Please believe me.. Every word I say is true
Please forgive me.. I can't stop loving you .."

I cant stop Loving you..
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ ನನ್ನ.. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಮಾತ್ರ.. Please.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ ನಗಿಸ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನನ್ನ.. ಹಾಗೇ ಅಳಿಸಬಾರ್ದಾ?? ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಒಂದು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ ತಂತಾನಾರೆ ಬಂದುಬಿಡತಿತ್ತು.. ನಿನ್ನ perfumeನ ಪರಿಮಳ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕೂದಲಿನ ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಸ್ಪರ್ಶ.. ಯಾಕಿಷ್ಟು ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯೋ??
Please ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಅಳಿಸಿಬಿಡೋ.. Justin Timberlakeನ ಈ ಹಾಡು ಗೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ?? I am Singing that for you now..
"Cry me a River.. " Please.. Cry me a river...

My Best Friends Wedding...

Yesss.. you read it right. It was my best friend Katis wedding on 22th of March.Yupiee!!! Yeah!!! A day to remember for her and for us(we friends). Don’t ask me how was the marriage.. Coz it was just wonderful!!! Awesome!! Fun!! She looked like a goddess.. beeeeaaaauuutttiiifullll…… vinay(her husband) had no option other than starring at her when she walked down to the ‘mantap’.We were really stunned to look at her everytime.. She looked just beautiful.. just like a goddess.. every sari she wore was getting a look because of her, Every stone in the jewelry got the spark because of the glow she had in her eyes ..God!!! If I m allowed, I ll keep on praising her, without even caring if you are really interested or if you are getting bored.. anyways.. let me come to the actual part of this story..

We, I mean me,paggu,sweetoo,shradha and juhi had been planning for this big day from around 2-3 months. We were excited for her, and to meet each other too.. it had been almost 6 months I met sweetoo,shradha and almost a year I met paggu.. I was really excited to meet them all. Paggu and me had planned to go together from Bangalore to Belgaum, there all my other friends would join and then from there it was all unclear. What meant more important is meeting all friends

Paggu traveled the half of the day to reach Blore.I attended my office and left early.. but.. This Bangalore traffic..ufff!! I almost lost hopes of reaching on time to board the train.. Thank god!! I was 5 min early to the departure time.. anyways.. what matters is.. Finally I met Paggu. God!! I cant tell you how happy I was.When I met her.. we wer literally hugging each other for some 3-4 times.. We had missed each other (well..even though we spoke almost 3-4 times a week for around an hour each time).People around us were starring at us.. we were too happy to notice it then..we hardly slept that night on train.. we chatted, chatted and chatted till we reached belgaum.. And ya.. When we reached belgaum.. We both were silent for a long time.. it took us back to the old good days of our own, the 3rd gate, 1st gate, ambika, military mahadev, RPD, Goavaes.. every road in belgaum had some memories with it.. and the best part was we both were remembering them together, silently in our minds.. both knew wat was going on the other persons mind.. but none of us spoke a word..God.. I m going back to those days.. Ok ok.. Where was I??? I reached belgaum.. yup!! Then Uncle and aunty were waiting for us.. we both were too hungry to resist.. upon that when paggus mother cooks.. I cant resist.. so immediately we were on dining table having yummy dosas.. ummm.. Paggu.. convey my thanks to aunty.. she deserves it.

It was almost 11:00 am.. we got a call from kati.. “where you people?? We have arranged for a Bus near my home.. come soon.. they are all waiting.” . Paggu was ready but I was not.. I was still sleeping.. I somehow got ready and then in 15 min we were at katis place. Wow!! That’s the time I met sweetoo and shradha..and when I met them, I never felt I was away,they were my same old friends.. too lazy to change(he he he)..we were together like our college group again..I felt sooooooooooo ggggggggggggoooooooooooodddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

Our journey to pune was total fun!!!!! Not me nor paggu were interested in telling our work related stuff.I seriously don’t remember wat we spoke.. all I remember is teasing shradha, telling each other abt the office tales, singing or should I say screaming??well we laughed, laughed and laughed.. I must have lost few kgs as I spoke a lot.

It was almost 7 when we reached karyalay in Pune. Sneha had arranged a room for us.We met juhi there.. We attended katis ‘Haldi’ function.. before that, katis ‘bhaiyas’ and ‘bhaabiis’, deedis and jeejus’ presented a dance for her.. umm.. it was great.. ya... they forgot steps, they forgot the sequences BUT they all loved her.. and was clearly visible in their act..everybody loved her..and then kati was on stage.. She enjoyed every single bit of the moment. She was just enjoying completely. Vinay was with her.They 2 ofcourse completed each other.

Then that night when we all were supposed to sleep kati came to our room. She was not a bride then.. she was just the same old kati. The same kiddo, teaser.. She was not scared for her big day, she was not tensed, not worried, not afraid of loosing anything, not even a bit insecured.. She was Just our own Kati. We all loved her so much. We all spoke almost the whole night.. she had to get up early in the morning.. but even then we all chatted, we all were back to college days.. just a day before her wedding..

Then the next day we woke up late and the ‘muhurt’ was in half an hour.. you wont believe.. we 5 girls got ready in just half n hour, that’s coz we didn’t want to miss a moment of the wedding.. we wanted to be with her every single moment. And we were there, we were there when he put the ‘mangal sutra’, we were there when they took ‘sapta padi’(saath phere), when there was kanya daan.. None of us had seen a wedding so closely.. we all were excited. Kati as usual went through all these with an ease, with a cool mind.. she was happy.

Then the rest of the ceremony was like some fairy tale. Kati was a princess, Vinay was Prince charming. He came for her.. to find his love for life.. Wow!!! Doesn’t that sound so beautiful???

Hmmm.. there was her reception in the evening.. I could not attend it as I had to leave to Bangalore. I had only 1 day leave(ssssaaadddddd).I had my train at 10. I never wanted to say a bye to my friends.. I didnt want to leave, I wanted the time to freeze.. I would miss them a lot everytime I felt like being stupid, everytime I wanted to eat pani puri, everytime I felt “What am I doing???”, everytime I got confused which dress to buy, which bag will match with it.. , everytime I felt like going for a walk, everytime I saw a handsome guy.. today when I sit here writing all this.. I feel.. gone are those days when I could call Kati and say “Kati I m bored.. Chal lets go out for a movie” or I would message paggu “wanna come for a walk” and next 10 min she would be there.. and just ask sweetoo “hungry?? Canteen??”.. Just those days when we would keep messaging “how many chapters done??” or “arey yaar.. This topic is so sadu.. I m skipping it.. you??”.. then after those internals or exams.. we would go for Ramdev PavBhaji, ambika Pani Puri..well that guy at ambika probably would miss us if we didn’t show up atleast once in a week.. Ah!!!! Good old days.. But these days are also good.. I like them too.. New life, new excitements.. all new.. after all change is another name of life.. isn’t it??

To Kati,
Happy Married life Kati.. now that your lastname is changed.. we your friends solemnly declare that, we will continue to call you by your old name i.e kati.. and you will remain as our old and forever friend ‘KATI’.
Happy married life once again..
Take care.

ಸತ್ಯಾನ್ವೇಷಣೆ

ಕಂದ ನಿದ್ದೆಹೋಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನೆಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಕನಸ ಹೊದ್ದುಮಲಗಿದ್ದ,
ಮನಸು ಮೈಮರೆತಿತ್ತು.
ಅವನೆದ್ದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮಲಗಿದಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು.
ತೆರೆದಿತ್ತು ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲೊಂದೇ ......?

ನಿದ್ದೆ ತಿಳಿದೆದ್ದ ಕಣ್ಣು ರಚ್ಚೆ ಹಿಡಿದು ಕುಳಿತಿತ್ತು.
ನೆರೆಯ ಕಣ್ಣೋಟ ಹೊರೆಯಾದ ಬದುಕು.
ಕುದ್ದು ಹೊದ ಬಾಳಿಗೆ ಕದ್ದು ಹೋದವನ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಧರೆಯ ನೆಚ್ಚಿದ ಯಶೋಧರೆಗೆ ವಸುಂಧರೆಯ ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಬಾಗಿಲು.
ನದಿ ತೊರೆದ ನೀರಿನದು ದಿಕ್ಕು ತೊರೆವ ನಡಿಗೆ

ಆಲಾಪವಿಲ್ಲ,ವಿಲಾಪ ನಿಲ್ಲದ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ.
ಅವರು,ಇವರು,ಹೋದವರೆಲ್ಲ ಬಂದರು.
ಆತನೊಬ್ಬ ದಿವ್ಯಜ್ಞಾನಿಯೆಂದರು.
ಬೋಧಿವೃಕ್ಷದ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಸತ್ವ ತುಂಬಿದ ಬೆಳಕು.
ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೋಟ ಶಾಂತಿ ಚೆಲ್ಲುವ ಕಾಂತಿ.

ಜೋಡಿ ಜೀವವಾಗಿ ಮಿಡಿದ ಮನ ಕಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕೆಲಕ್ಷಣ.
ದುಗುಡ ಹೊತ್ತಮನಕ್ಕೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಗೂಡಿನ ತವಕ.
ಸರದಿಯ ಸಾಲು ಕಣ್ಣು ತುಂಬುವಷ್ಟು ದೂರ.
ಸರತಿಯ ದಾರಿಯ ನಡುವೆ ಗುರುತು ಸಿಗಲೆಂಬ ಪುಳಕ
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೊಂದು ಯುಗಸಂದ ದಾರಿ,
ದೂರಸರಿದ ನೀರಿಗೂ ಸಾಗರದ ಬಯಕೆ.

ಕರುಣೆಯ ನೀಲಿಗೆ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಸೊಗಸು.
ತೀರದ ಆತಂಕ,ಆತ್ಮಾನುಕಂಪಕ್ಕೂ ಅರ್ಪಣೆಯ ಭಾವ.
ಗಮ್ಯ ಸೇರಿದ ಹನಿಗೆ ಅದರದ್ದೇ ಸಾರ್ಥಕತೆ.
ತೆರೆದ ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾವ ಬಾಗಿಲ ಹಂಗು.?

-ಅಮ್ಮ (ಶೈಲಜಾ ಗೋರನ್ಮನೆ)

"You' ve got A WISH"

“Hey.. you have a 'WISH' “I said was with my friend sitting in a CCD.

“What?? What I have??” He asked.

“Arey!! A 'WISH' “ I answered.

“What?? Whats that?” he asked again.

"Offo!! You dont know what a 'WISH' is?? Ok.. I ll explain..” I said picking up that small, feathery eyelash that was fallen just below his right eye. I felt like a small kid carrying a butterfly in her hand, all so careful and full of excitement to show it to her friends..

I continued“Look.. THIS is a WISH” that eyelash was on my forefinger tip.

“Well.. whats the point?? can you explain further??” he had a sarcastic tone, but I was too involved in explaining him what that 'WISH' was.

I continued ,“Well.. they say..”

“Wait.. who they??” he interrupted.. he wanted everything to be specific, he was a tech-guy after all..

“Hmmm.. 'They' means.. people who believe in this concept of 'WISH'” I had to explain him in a very technical way as he was someone who could not understand anything unless and until its said clearly.. 'NO AMBUGUITY PLEASE' must have been his slogan..

“Ok.. any specific instance or its jusst a abstract group of people?” he asked for more.

“Its just a group of NORMAL people, I dont know if they are abstract or not..” I said.

“Hmmm.. You continue..” he finally allowed me to explain.

“Well they say..If you have a wish in your heart that you REALLY REALLY want it to be true and you find a fallen eyelash which is called 'WISH', then you gotta close your eyes and make that wish in your mind... and blow the 'WISH' (eyelash) to the wind” I said all so excited thinking of he making a wish...

“So?? what happens if you do so??” he was still not convinced.

“Arey that wish will come true.. Now dont let your wish go waste.. make a wish, make a wish.. any wish that you want..” I literally had to force him to make the wish. But by the time he made one wish, the wind had made one..

He was laughing at me as I was little upset for he not utilizing the 'WISH', he asked.

“Niveditha, do you really believe in this concept of 'WISH'?”

“Well.. I Dont know” I said reluctantly.

“'I dont know' was not an option” he was forcing me to give an answer..

“I know its really weird.. but..” I was thinking for an answer as I really didnt know what I believed in and what I didnt, what I liked and what I didnt.. I was confused.. I continued..

“I know its weired.. Its not that I really believe that the wish will come true.. But whats wrong it trying??” I asked him in full confidence.

“Trying?? Trying what??”he was looking into my eyes.

“Trying in this 'WISH' thing.. See.. even if there is 1% probability of the wish coming true.. why not take a chance??” I said turning my eyes down. .

“1% ?? you think there is 1% probability of this thing to be true??” he stressed that '1%'.

“Ya.. why not??see anyways that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash is fallen and is of no use.. So why not use it in this way?? atleast you will be happy for sometime thinking that your wish will come true”I asked him in full confidence.

“Niveditha.. one doesnt need this fallen eyelash to make his wish come true, one needs to put all his efforts, give it to the fullest he can to make it true” he explained.

“Ya.. I know, I know.. I m not telling that I ll make a wish and sit quite.. Even I believe in what you said.. but sometimes even if you give all your 100% you have a fear of loosing it. There is little uncertainity,there are always some 'what if??' kind of questions.. and concepts like 'WISH' will help you to overcome those fears and move ahead and give your fullest,forget the uncertainty for sometime atleast. Anyways look.. that 'WISH' I mean that eyelash will also feel good that it was also a part of making somebodys wish true wat say??” I winked my eye to him.

“what?? Eyelash will fffffeeeeeellllll something??” he was disgusted.

“Yes..It will feel 'aaj mera janam sarthak hogaya' he he he” I wanted to make the moment light.. so was making some fun and was trying to drift off the topic.. but he was not willing.. he said..

“Niveditha, When your giving your 100% and calculating all the risk factors and planning accoringly then there is not fear of failing.”

“welll.. not always... If what you said was true then why till today you dont find a single zero-defect application/code?? there is always a little uncertainity associated with every wish, everything you do.. right??” I asked him back.

“I dont understand.. I mean how can you believe in such a stupid thing??”

I wanted to finish the topic.. I was angry now.. I said..

“look we both are in 2 different verticles of life and we both have two very different dimensions. So even if I sit and explain you this you ll not agree with me.. and trust me.. my intension here is NOT to convince anybody.. I follow few thing and I follow.. If you dont want to follow leave it.So lets stop this discussion here.. I m very hungry.. hmm.. I ll take a 'DevilsOwn' with chocolate sauce and one black forest” I had to take a breath.. I had spoken a long sentence..

“Well.. ok.. as you say..” he said and went to put the order..
Finally I took a sigh of relief!!!!!!!!

ತವಕ

ಸಣ್ಣದೊಂದು ಚಿಗುರು,

ಬೆಳೆದು ಮರವಾಗುವ ಆಸೆ,

ಹಣ್ಣು ಹೂವಾಗುವ ಕನಸು,

ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಬೆಳಕಿನ ಕನವರಿಕೆ,

ನಿಲ್ಲುವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಉಸಿರು ಉಸಿರಿಗೂ ಎಣಿಕೆ ಚಕ್ರ.

ಕೂಡಿ-ಕಳೆದು-ಗುಣಿಸಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು...

ಸಂಜೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರು

ನಾಳೆಯ ಕಾಯುವುದೇ ಕಾಯಕ.

ಬೇಸರಕ್ಕೆ ಇಂದು ಸಮಯವಿಲ್ಲ,

ಮುಂದೆ ನೋಡಿದರಾಯಿತು..

ಒಂಟಿ ನಡೆದಷ್ಟೂ ಸೋಲುವ ಭಯ.

ಕತ್ತಲೆಗೆ ಹೆದರಿ ನಡೆಯುವುದ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಬೇಕೆ?

ಆಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರಗಳು ಕಡಿಮೆಯೇ?

ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದರೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರವಾಗುವುದು ಹೇಗೆ??!!

ಕಣ್ಣ ಕಂಬನಿಯನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗಬೇಕು,

ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳ ನೋವನ್ನ ಮರೆಯಬೇಕು,

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು.

ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು ಬೆಳೆಯಬೇಕು.

ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ

DreamBoy,
ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಸರು ಎಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾ.. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ 'Dear','Sweetheart','honey' ಅಂತಾ ಏನೂ prefix ಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸಲ್ಲ ನಂಗೆ. Anyways ನೀನಿಲ್ಲದ ಊರಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದೀನಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಕಳೆದ ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಇಲ್ಲೆ ಇದೀಯಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ, ಅದೇನೋ ಹೇಳಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂತಾ ತಿರುಗ್ತೀನಿ.. ಆಮೇಲೆ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ, ನೀನಿಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಕ್ಕು ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ ಆಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೆ ಕಣೊ.. ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಯ್ತು 2 ತಿಂಗಳು ಭುಬನೇಸ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಸಮಯ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದೇ ಗೊತ್ತಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಇಲ್ಲಿ harry, kavi ಎಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೀನು ತುಂಬಾ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೊ.. ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ.. ಒಂಟಿ ಕೂತಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಹಿಂದಿನದೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸ್ತೀನಿ... ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನೆನೆಸಿದಾಗ್ಲೂ ಅದೇ ರೋಮಾಂಚನ, ನಿನ್ನ ಕಿರುನಗೆ ನನಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕೊಡತ್ತಲ್ಲಾ ಅಂಥದ್ದೆ.
ಮೊದಲ ಸಲ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ನನ್ನ friends ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, "he is so cute, look at his smile,its soo pure"ಅಂತಾ. ನನಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿತ್ತು ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತಾ!!ನನಗೆ ಹೇಳಿಕೋಳ್ಳೋಂಥ ಖುಷಿಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, excitment ಆಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನಗೂ ನಿನಗೋ ಅಷ್ಟು ಪರಿಚಯ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ..and you know that I m not a kind of girl who 'wow's guys, or falls easily for guys, ಆದ್ರೂ ನೀನು ಪ್ರತೀ ಸಲ ನಕ್ಕಾಗಲೂ ಅದೇನೋ, ನನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ tension, stress ಎಲ್ಲ 2 ಸೆಕೆಂಡ್ ಮರೆತುಬಿಡತಿದ್ದೆ. Events finalise ಮಾಡೋದು, judges, budget, arrangments ಅಂತಾ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾವಿಬ್ರೂ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಮಯವನ್ನ ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕಳೆದ್ವಿ, ಆದ್ರೂ ನಾವಿಬ್ರು ಸುಮ್ ಸುಮ್ನೆ timepass ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು ಕಡಿಮೇನೇ. ಅಲ್ವಾ? college fest timeನಲ್ಲಿ ನನಗೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಅದ್ಯಾರಿಗೋ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಜಗಳ ಆಗಿತ್ತು ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ? ಆಗ ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ "Nivi, Dont worry, ನಿಂದೇನೂ ತಪ್ಪಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ", and then you had given me the same smile.. that meant to me so much.. ಗೊತ್ತಾ? and then i used to ask you smile everytime HOD scolded me, everytime things werent right.. or just everytime I felt low. Till today.. ಇವತ್ತಿನ ತನಕಾ ಕೂಡ ನಿನ್ನ ಆ smile ನೆನಸ್ತೀನಿ.
College fest was over, but that wasnt the end.. ಮೊದಮೊದಲು ಬರೀ fwd msg, ಆನಂತರ ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ chatting, ಆಮೇಲೆ calls, and then late night calls.. ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಾಗೋದು Rex cafe.. ಹಿ ಹಿ ಹಿ.. :-) ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ?
ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ನಿನ್ನ bike ಮೇಲೆ ಬರೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನನಗೇನೂ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯಾಗ್ಲಿ, ಅಥವಾ so called "ಆ ಥರದ ಭಾವನೆ"ಯಾಗ್ಲಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ಯಾಕಂದ್ರೆ we never felt it something strange, I always felt that you wer my very good friend, and ನೀನೂ ಕೂಡ.. it was all so casual, and normal.. rite? ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನೀನು call ಮಾಡಿ "Nivi, shall I pick you up?" ಅಂತಾ ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ok ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. and then.. it had to happen!! bridge ದಾಟೋಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಮಳೆ ಶುರುಆಯ್ತು. ನೆನಪಿದ್ಯಾ.. ನಾವು ಸುಮಾರು ಹೊತ್ತು railway station ಹತ್ರ ಇರೋ ಆ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನಿಂತಿದ್ವಿ?? ನಾನು ಛಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡಗೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ನೀನು ನಿನ್ನ jacket ತೆಗೆದು ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ, ಥೇಟ್ moviesನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗುತ್ತಲ್ಲ ಅದೇ ಥರಾ!! I was like, how can I take?? ಅಲ್ವಾ? ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಿದ್ದೆ.. 3ನೇ ಸಲ ನೀನು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗಲೂ ನಾನು ಬೇಡ ಅಂದಾಗ ನೀನೇ ಹೊದೆಸಿದ್ದೆ.. again movies ನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗೋ ಥರಾ.. that was the 1st time a guy did something like that to me.. I was confused.. because this always happens only in movies, or novels or in my dreams.. but, but never it was supposed to happen with me in MY REAL life.. I was confused.. but you were normal and as casual as you always used to be.. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನಾನು ತುಂಬಾ ತಲೆಕೆಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.. ನನ್ನ friends ಮಾತ್ರಾ ಇದನ್ನ ಕೇಳಿ, " nivi, so romantic!!" ಅಂದಿದ್ರು..
ಆಮೇಲೆ ನಾವು Rex cafeಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಆಡಿದ ಮಾತು ಇನ್ನೂ ನೆನ್ನೆ ತಾನೆ ಆಡಿದೀವೇನೋ ಅನ್ನೋಥರಾ ನೆನಪಿದೆ.. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ recent poem ಒಂದನ್ನ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ, ನೀನು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಾನೂ ಸರಿಯದೇ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದೆ. ಆನಂತರ ಆ ಮಳೆ ನಿಂತ ವಾತಾವರಣದಲ್ಲಿ ramdev ತನಕ walk ಹೋಗಿದ್ವಿ.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ? ನಿನ್ನ jacketನ ಪರಿಮಳ ನನಗಿನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ ಕಣೋ.. ಆ walkನಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೆನೇನು ಮಾತಾಡಿದ್ವೋ.. ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಚ್ಚುಚ್ಚು ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳು, ಅನಿಸಿಕೆಗಳು, ಕನಸುಗಳು.. ನಿನಗೆಲ್ಲ ನೆನಪಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ?? ಈಗ ನೆನೆಸ್ತಾ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ಎಷ್ಟೋಂದು ನೆನಪುಗಳು.. ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಬಿಡಬೇಕು, ಯಾವುದನ್ನ ಮರೀಬೇಕು ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಲ್ಲ...ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನಗಳ ನಂತರ ನಿನಗಾಗಿ 4 ಸಾಲುಗಳನ್ನ ಬರದಿದ್ದೀನಿ.. ಕೇಳತೀಯಾ?
ಜುಮು ಜುಮು ಮಳೆ,
ನೀನು,
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನೀ ಬರೆದ ಕವನ.
ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆ ಸಾಗರದ ಮಂದ ಅಲೆ,
ಬಾನು,
ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆವ ಕ್ಷಣ

ಇಷ್ಟ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ?
ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ ಕಣೋ.. ನನಗೀ ಊರನ್ನ ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತಾ ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣೋ, ನಾವು ನಡೆದಾಡಿದ ರಸ್ತೆಗಳು ಈ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ.. btw chinmay ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಪ್ಪ ಆಗಿದಾನೆ..ಆದ್ರೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಿಸ್ತಾನೆ. ok baba.. ನಿನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಲ್ಲ.. You are the most handsome guy i have ever seen.. ನಿನ್ನ ಎದುರಿಗೆ Brad Pitt ಕೂಡಾ waste.. ಸರಿನಾ?happy?? ಹಾ... ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಸಂದೀಪ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದ.. he said something that I really liked it.. so thot of sharing it with u.. I know you ll also like it. It was one of the phrases worth collecting.. it goes something like this..
"I like people like you, who make people like me like people like you, like you." ಚನ್ನಾಗಿದೆ ಅಲ್ಲ?last 'like you' redundant ಅನ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೆ..but it is not.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆಯ್ತೇನೋ? ತಲೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಅಲ್ಲಡಿಸ್ತೀಯಾ? ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ವಾ? uff!! I somehow knew it.. waste ಇದೀಯಾ.. ಅರ್ಥ ಆದ್ರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆದಾಯ್ತು.. ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೂ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ.. ಸರಿನಾ??
ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಿಗ್ತೀನಿ... ತುಂಬಾ ನೆನಪಾಗ್ತೀಯಾ...
Take care. ಅಲ್ಲಿ local trains ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗಿ ಬಿಡಬೇಡ..processing timeನ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ(he he he.. i m sorry for this) ಸರಿ bye.

I, Me Myself-1

Dear Dreambox,
Well.. first things first..I missed you a lot.. and I m sorry for not telling you anything about the place where I live now, about the work I do, the people I live with, the life I m living.. about all the happy times n the weeping times.. (ofcourse I do have weeping times.. well who else better than you knows it??) so.. a final sorry... but I promise you that from now onwards I ll regularly keep updating you about myself.. happy?? Hmmm.. I know.. look at you.. you are smiling.. anyways..
So where do I start from??

1. Hmmm…Now I m in Bhuvaneshwar.. actually people here call it ‘Bhubaneswar’.. It’s the effect of pronouncing all ‘Vs’ as ‘Bs’ ans all ‘SHs’ as ‘SSs’. As an effect of that all ‘Shankars’ become ‘sankars’ and all ‘shruthis’ become ‘srutis’. When I came here with my father, I was asked my name at our family friends place.. I said “Niveditha” n they called “Nibeditha”.. he he he.. funny I know.. but not to them. Bhubaneswar is the capital of Orissa state. And its in the east part of India.



2. Oh God!! how can I forget this.. you know what.. here at 5:30pm its dark like 7:00 pm in the evening.. and in the morning by 5:30 its all bright like 6:30 or so.. It literally took me some days to accept the fact.. I used to come out of the room in the office just to realize its dark n the time is just 5:30pm.. It was really strange for me.. If you happen to come here some time I m sure you’ll also realize that. This is because Bhubaneswar is at the east of India(he he he I m telling you this as if you don’t know!!)



3. Btw I m very much in love with the city. City is very well planned, built and maintained. You know.. those compound walls at the sides of the roads are all so beautifully painted. They are painted of the pics of the tradition, culture, lifestyle, cuisine, art work of Orissa. What impressed me a lot is the mirror work at ‘Jaydeb bihar’(Its Jaydev Vihar, one of the imp spots of Bhubaneswar) . I m like.. I get fascinated by its beauty.. Everytime I look at it, I get mesmerized.. I keep starring at it. God!! They r so beautiful.. you should have a look at it. Everytime we(me n my frns) pass by the place.. I keep peeping out of the rickshaw till it gets off my sight. So my friends tease me “ hey Nivi nivi.. ur mirror work ,ur mirror work” J ahh…they r simply fantastic(mirror work). This is one of the best cities I have ever seen… well to be very honest with you, I haven’t seen much of these ‘big cities’ except for ‘namma Bengalooru’ ;-).



4. One more thing that impressed me is the market. Its really nice. They have 2 bulidings and they call it ‘market building’. Here the shops are organized depending on the item they sell.. confused?? I ll explain.. All the cloth shops are together, then there are bags shops and then all the bangle n bindi shops.. like this.. understood?? There are street shops too.. there you can bargain to high extent.. I bought a bag for 175 bucks where he said it was of some 500bucks, Its really nice bargaining.. I love doing it..(bargaining of course). And people here are also good. Now don’t ask me how much I have interacted with the local people.. I haven’t much though.. but whatever I have interacted.. they have been good n nice.



5. I think people here are very much fond of potatoes n cauliflower. They use potatoes by default in all the curries they make. And paneer is one thing you can find in any ‘sabzi’. But they say bhubaneswar is famous for crab n fishes( I mean dishes). Ah!! I now regret for not being a non-veggi..



6. Well if I told you this.. I m sure you wud not believe it.. THERE ARE NO CITY BUSES here.. surprised?? Same was my reaction to it. But that’s THE FACT. But rickshaw rates are really cheap. Actually the rickshaw system here come in 2 categories
   · Shared: In this system the rickshaw acts like tempo. The driver can pick up any no. of ppl on the way. But you should pay very less money like 10rs or so depending on the distance of course. This is much cheaper.. like one can go around some 30 KM just in 20Rs.. Cheap rite??
   · Reserved: In this system you hire a auto all to urself.. much like all other cities. This will cost a lot. Like you ll have to pay 200 something for some 30KMs.. even then comparative to Belgaum the rickshaw rates here are really cheap.
   
   The rickshaw ride in local bhubaneswar has made a lot of memories in my mind.. you know y?? we are 6 of us in our group, 3 girls me, harini n kavita, and 3 boys guru, kishore and mahesh. everytime we hire a rickshaw.. the seating arrangement is very funny. harini and kavita sit at the back and I sit on one of thems lap, and one of the guys sits behind with us and the rest share the dirvers space..(he he he) the driver is often seen falling out of his seat.. thats a real ride.. I m always made to sit on somebodys lap like a baby, but its little troublesome to the other person(I think so,, but I dont think they feel the same.. they always say i m very much light weighted). and there are many things abt this rickshaw ride.. as you can infer, the reserved rickshaw system is costlier than shared.. so we 6 of us take a single rickshaw and act as if we are different ppl and the rickshaw is shared(no wonder y I m saving so much on money). Funny it is.. rite?? and btw at the traffic signals usually one of the guys infront gets down, crosses the signal and then joins us so that we are not caught by the police there.. there are many incidents with the autorickshaw.. i ll tell you again..



7. After coming to bhubaneswar one of my childhood dreams came true.. I know wait.. I ll tell you.. don’t gimme that ‘tell me fast’ kind of look.. have patience dear.. ya.. when I was a kid.. every time I read or heard about the Konark sun temple, I don’t know why.. I used to get fascinated.. I was fascinated everytime. And now I have visited it. Yupiee!! First time when I saw it I couldn’t believe that I was actually in konark. I felt proud to see the architecture.. it is beautiful. I loved it. I can tell you all about konark but I not now.. some other time. Then in Jagannath Puri I touched the bay of Bengal for the first time.. I always wondered how bay of Bengal would be.. but then I know it now..btw you wont believe I have visited to Puri n Konark 3 times.. once with my appaji when he had come to leave me, n then with amma, savitakka, kaka, ajja n aayee.. and recently with my friends.. it was tttooottttaaaalll fun with friends.. I ll tell about that trip again some time later.. I have lots to tell you about that… like the way me n kavitha flirted with Guru(btw I must say this.. don’t take me wrong.. it was all for fun as even he flirted back ), the way I played cards with Guru and Kishore, our running race with Mahesh on that hot sand, the way we enjoyed in the Puri beach… the cycle rickshaw ride.. the bargaining, those shoping.. god!! There is sooo much.. I guess I can write a post on that trip.. surely I will.
   
   Hey…I have to tell you abt my professional life, my office and its work culture etc,and many many things to tell you about this place n life here.. ok I understand.. don’t yawn now.. I m stopping rite?? fine someother time.. but promise me you ll listen to me again.. ok?? promise?? fine.. chal then.. bye..
   and take care and v.v.v.v imp thing... I ll miss you. Bye.!!!